Wednesday, August 17, 2005

The Prince Oeuvre
Sure, people talk about great film trilogies like the Godfather, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings, but few people talk about the Prince Trilogy. (How's that for an intro?) Technically, trilogies involve the continuation of a story and these movies are largely unrelated, but because Prince pretty much played himself in each of his movies, I'm counting them as a trilogy.

When each one of these movies came out, I insisted they were great movies, refusing to accept the avalanche of evidence to the contrary. Only now, through distance can I view these movies objectively.

Purple Rain: The influence of this movie continues to be felt twenty one years later. Without Purple Rain, there would not have been an 8 Mile. Of course, there probably wouldn't have been a Cool as Ice either.

Prince played himself as "the Kid," a struggling musician on the cusp of greatness. But he had to deal with his fear of becoming like his father, an abusive failed musician.

With some distance, I realize how strange this movie is. Prince played one of the weirdest sex symbols in modern cinema. Never mind his heavy make-up and the lacy clothing - he lived in his parents' basement.

I just know there was a scene on the cutting room floor like this:

The Kid: When you're with me I feel the tears of the roses like rain.

Apollonia: What?

The Kid: You make me feel like I have a trepidatious dove in the plasma of my being.

Apollonia: What the hell are you talking about?

The Kid: Never mind. I want you to hear something that I wrote for you.

(The Kid turns on his stereo, loudly playing a song with the sound of a woman crying recorded backwards with off-kilter beat. The song is followed by a loud banging sound)

The Kid's Mother (yelling from upstairs): Kid! I told you about blasting your music at night! I have to go to work tomorrow!

The Kid: But, Ma!

The Kid's Mother: But nothing! Turn it off or put on your headphones! Do you have a girl down there? You know the rules!

The Kid: No, Ma! There's no girl down here! (whispering to Apollonia) I totally hate her.

Prince competed with Morris Day for the affection of Apollonia. Because it was his movie, the outcome was never in doubt. But what made it interesting was that Prince was pretty much the worst movie boyfriend ever. He was freakin' weird and played mind games with her the whole movie. He talked her into jumping into a Minnesota lake, topless, in the dead of winter, apparently solely through the power of suggestion. He disclosed their sexual secrets in front of a packed club by singing "Darling Nikki (when Vanity was originally cast in the role, the character's name was Nicole.) He hit her. And he didn't introduce her to his parents.

Nevertheless, in the end all was forgiven because he sang "Purple Rain," a country song with indecipherable lyrics. The movie made more than 10 times what it cost and was described as "The Citizen Kane of rock musicals," which is like being the valedictorian in special ed.

Under the Cherry Moon: After Purple Rain's success, Warner Brothers figured they had a license to print money with Prince, leading to this movie. They had no idea what things made Purple Rain successful, which were: 1) that Purple Rain's scenes were 90% stage performances; 2) that Prince previously only had 10 lines of dialogue; and 3) Apollonia's breasts.

So, of course, they made the following changes: 1) There would be only one brief scene where Prince sang along to one of his songs on a boombox; 2) Prince had a butt load of dialogue; and 3) they made it a PG rated film, so no breasts. The movie flopped.

Prince plays a piano player and gigolo in the French Riviera meaning without this movie we wouldn't have Deuce Bigelow:European Gigolo. Add in his overwrought and unintentionally funny death scene and this movie was a tribute to his ego. I'm not saying that Prince wouldn't have made a successful prostitute, I'm just saying his clients probably wouldn't have been women.

Prince replaced Mary "Desperately Seeking Susan" Lambert as director before shooting began because of "creative differences," which I think meant that she wanted to make a movie that made sense.

One thing though, as bad as the movie was, it was shot beautifully. But shortly before the movie was released he decided to print it in black and white. Somewhere, there is someone living in a refrigerator box saying, "And then I told the studio, 'Hey! Why not let Prince direct the movie?'"

Graffiti Bridge: Right before its relationship with Prince went down the toilet, Warner Brothers gave Prince $7 million to make yet another movie under the condition that it would be a sequel to Purple Rain and that he had to bring Morris Day back. This last condition was because conventional wisdom said Morris Day "stole" Purple Rain.

Prince again plays the Kid, but Apollonia is nowhere to be found. Considering his behavior in Purple Rain, I can't imagine what he did to her to make her finally decide to leave her. Prince and Morris Day are rival club owners. Prince lives in the basement of his club, making me wonder what is the deal with him and basements? He plays 26 different instruments but is unable to master making mortgage payments.

Prince's club, the Glam Slam, is mostly empty because he plays songs about spirituality, though it appears to be because he doesn't have a liquor license. Meanwhile, Morris' club, Pandemonium (which means "abode of demons") has better music and women dancing in cages. Needless to say, Morris turns a profit.

This time Prince and Morris are vying for the affections of Aura, an angel who was sent to convince Prince to continue to play his music because spirituality is more important than money and popularity (again, this movie came out the year before Prince had his nasty contractual dispute with Warner Brothers). No one has sex with Aura.

Prince's decline in popularity echoed that of the Kid in the movie. Basically, he was saying that he was unpopular because he refused to sell out and be commercial. That is what I say about this blog.

I recently saw Graffiti Bridge on one of the HD channels. What struck me was that the movie wasn't totally unentertaining. As I watched it, I thought that with a few changes it could be a good movie.

All it needed was a new script, soundtrack, director and actors and they really could've had something.

Prince's decline in popularity echoed that of the Kid in the movie. Basically, he was saying that he was unpopular because he refused to sell out and be commercial. That is what I say about this blog.

Prince plays a piano player and gigolo in the French Riviera meaning without this movie we wouldn't have Deuce Bigelow:European Gigolo. Add in his overwrought and unintentionally funny death scene and this movie was a tribute to his ego. I'm not saying that Prince wouldn't have made a successful prostitute, I'm just saying his clients probably wouldn't have been women.

Thats fantastic!

We need to put this in the FAQ and confuse all the Newbies!

You should tell this guy about the org if he likes prince, and that theres a bunch of us worshipping him over here!

class, thanks for posting this - made me giggle