littlemissg said:

...Wendy & Lisa, guardians of island of Lesbo.

"Dear Prince", said they at the same time, while rubbing themselves, "Madonna has created a new group of vilains".

"What the Fuck...Sorry What the duck" replied Prince in horror 4 a JW shall never swear., "Who r they?"

"MADGE 6" said Wendy.

"Madonna, Britney and X-Tina have allied themselves and they've kidnapp Susannah..."

Prince starts 2 recall his lost love 4 his primal muse and thinks he still loves her.

And suddenly a new superheroes arrives...

miguelbulcao said:

It's Dolamite.

And he's accompanied by Lavern and Shirlie, Lenny and Vinnie, and Jim Jay Bullock.


Jim Jay looks at Prince and says ...

AsianBomb777 said:

"Don't worry Prince, we're here to help you kick some ass." "Yes!!! We got some real funk soldiers up in the house," gushed Prince. "All we need is"....and suddenly in walks the king of funk himself....George Clinton. "Don't worry Prince, the true funkadelic funkateer has arrived to help you kick some pop tart ass."

Little do our funkateers know that they are being watched by Madonna from her Kabbalah lear. "So, Prince thinks he and his funky friends (no pun intended) can stop me from my task," squeals Madonna. "Dammit, Britney, why do you always have to steal my eyeliner," cries X-tina. "Because friends don't let friends paint themselves up like whores....chill out on the make-up, Chris," replies Britney. "I'll chill out on the make-up when you chill out on the marriages and terrible remakes, which means....hmmm, never," laughs x-tina. "Look Beeyotch, I'll pay someone to kick your ass," yells Britney. "Just like you pay all those producers and songwriters to write songs for you and then say you co-wrote them, right," snaps X-tina. "Hey, stop it," yells Madonna, "Or you can both go back to your holes." Madonna continues to look through her 20 foot telescope lens at the Funkateers. "Send out our secret weapons to scare our little friends down there," smiles Madonna.

Back at Paisley Park, Prince and the crew are having the Tofurkey that Mani had whipped up earlier. "We can't fight the forces of evil on empty stomachs," says Prince, Tofurkey bits falling out of his mouth. Suddenly, the window above shatters and onto the table falls Madonna's secret weapons....Hilary Duff and Ashlee Simpson. "We're going to brighten ya'lls day with our music, Mister Prince," says Hilary. She begins to lip-sync one of her nauseating songs as the Funkateers cry out in pain. "Make her stop," cries Wendy. "Take it Ashlee," says Hilary. Ashlee starts to lip-sync one of her fake ass punk songs, until the track skips. "Beat her ass, beat her ass," yells Lisa. Suddenly,....

estelle1981 said:

Suddenly Morrissey and Robert Smith appear from out of nowhere--I mean absolutely out of nowhere.

Morrissey says to the entire crowd, "You lads ready to get funky?"

Prince rolls his eyes and says, "Bitch, this aint' no Smiths Reunion."
Morrissey retorts "Look, your worshipfullness, I was doing the whole meat-is-murder shit long before you ever even thought about recording that lame-ass animal kingdom song"

"Damn, " George Clinton responds ," the little gay man with the funny accent sho told yo skinny ass."

Suddenly Robert Smith broke in, " oh, shut the F@CK up Morrissey, you've done nothing but spent your youth as Jonny Marr's little lyricist bitch."

When all of a sudden a flash of light appeared, and David Bowie appeared.
He was standing with Margarett Cho and Rush Limbaugh.

Behind them stood...

AsianBomb777 said:

James Brown. "Huh, Baby whatchagondonow, Huh, takeittothenextlevelnow, Huh, getbacknow, huh, baby, baby, baby, hitmeonetime, Ohhhhh!" James Brown runs up to Ashlee and pushes her down, "Huh, whatchagondonow, huh, yougonhurtme, huh, comeonnow," sings James. "What," questions Ashlee?!?! Everybody looks at her and shrugs their shoulders. "We don't know what the fuck he's saying either. Just nod your head and say, 'Okay'," says Jimmy Jay. James does the trademake split, "C'mon girl, huh, whatchagot, huh." Ashlee does the "Texas Jig", while every stops and stares at her. "Girl, sit your retarded, fake punk singin' ass down, before I slap you down," yells the Ghost of Rick James. "Is this chick serious," ponders George and Prince. "I don't know this person. I just met her on the roof. We aren't friends," replies Hilary. "Let's kick her ass," screams the Funkateers. "Yes, do that," says Hilary, "can I help you please." "Hilary, you're supposed to be my girl," cries Ashlee. "I was, until you did the potty dance." "It's the 'Texas Jig'," retorts Ashlee. "Well, it's stupid," Hilary yells. Suddenly, the two pop tarts start to throw blows at each other. "Yeah!, yells Wendy, "fuck up her mascara." "I got 20 bucks on the little blonde one...taking bets, anyone," asks Prince. After the Hilary and Ashlee finish beating the crap out of each other, Prince looks at them, "Wow, that fight lasted for almost 30 minutes...do ya'll want to be in my next video?" "Prince," snaps Mani!!! "Honey, I was just jokin'. Please don't bitch slap me," cries Prince. Mani grabs Ashlee and Hilary by their shirt collars, "Where's your Madam?" "She's not our Madam," yells Ashlee. "Oh, please, Madonna's been pimpin' you stupid little pop tarts from day one, and although I have much respect for her for doing it, I don't appreciate that heifer tryin' to hurt my man." "You tell 'em, Honey," grins Prince. Mani turns to Prince, "Go over there and don't talk until I ask you a question." "Yes, dear," says Prince as he sits in the chair and takes some more bites of his Tofurkey. "Damn, it's like that, P," says George. "I know you ain't talking, George. Where's yo woman at anyway," says Prince, coyly. "Don't get smart little man. I'll beat you down in front of your wife," says George. Suddenly,....

“HeHEHE!” was heard from above them. Madonna’s large holographic death-like face filled the sky . “Surrender now while you still can Funkateers ! You can’t possible hope to stop my Blonde Ambition!” My evil Kabbalahhh zombie squad will destroy you, and then when the young virgins can no longer give head, all the men will flock to me in droves! I will surpass my Eighties popularity!”

Dream on Ma-dodo! I rather get it from a doberman than from you! Yelled Prince.
“Yeah!!” Yelled the assembled crime fighters.
“ Well, I wouldn’t mind too much...” said Wendy, getting dirty looks from the others.

Madonna crackled with another devilish laugh, “But first...” , there was a bright flash, and Hillary Duff and Ashlee Simpson disappeared. “I can get each one of you just as easily. I will especially enjoy getting you in particular Princey-pooh, I have a taxidermist standing by to stuff and mount the penis you denied me years ago!”

“I could sense your evil even then woman! “ Prince whipped out a electrical disrupter ray gun from his belt and shot it energy into the image of the mad faded pop star. The feedback reached Madonna’s control panel and short-circuit it.

“She has threaten the world’s virgins, and my penis we cannot waste any more time! Everyone follow me!” Prince ordered as he led the determined group down to the sub-level of Paisley Park to the Weapons Room. While placing his right palm on the scanner pad outside the door, he used his left hand to enter a code in the keypad. The door opened to a large room filled with cabinets, monitors, satellite controls, computers, weapons of every description, and a conference table. “Have a seat.” Prince said and open the first cabinet and began passing out bibles.

“Bibles?? How are bloody Bibles going to help against Madonna??” asked Morrissey.

That witch is hell spawned we must be armed with the truth to have any hope of defeating her.” Prince answered. Prince open the second cabinet to reveal....
[Edited 12/12/04 14:53pm]

...Sean Penn!

"Blimey!", gasped Robert Smith while looking at Prince's secret weapon, "How he's gonna help us save the world??"

"Basicaly, Sean is the only man that ever kicked Madonna's ass and gotta away with it. He also suffered after that years of making horrible movies as a penace from Jeovah!"

"I seek revenge", yelled Sean Penn.

Minewhile in outer space, Sheila E. is trying 2 find the mystical Tambarrocca of Tora Tora. In this secret mission, under direct orders of Mani, Sheila seeks this mystical device in order 2 call the aid of the 3 Muses of Reality Check: Tori Amos, Björk and Kate Bush.

But while at planet Babooska, Sheila E. loses sense of time and gets lost...

following the most perfect beat she has ever heard. In all her years as a drummer she had never heard such perfect soul and rhythm. Furthermore, it was being played on a percussion instrument she couldn’t identify. Sheila finally located the source of the sound. It was coming from a hole-in-the-wall bar in a backwater town on Babooska. She walked through the swinging door pass the alien patrons. She looked to the rear of the room where the band was on stage.

“Dad?! What are you doing here?!! Sheila couldn’t believe it, it was her own father making that incredible music!

Meanwhile, back on Earth, Sean was giving the band of crusades valuable information about their nemesis. “You must remember her kiss is poisonous, once she has you under her spell you’ll be drained of your talent. “

“Oh My God! Sean is that what happen to you?” asked Margarett Cho.

Sean nodded sadly. “Eventually it wears off, but your career and your life maybe ruined by then.” Sean’s body shook with the awful memories of his time with The Mad Queen of Pop.

But worst of all you must guard against....

her fams” Sean was greeted by startled looks. Sean continued,”Madonna’s fams have willingly paid $300 to see her lip-sync, and follow her blindly without question. They can be anyone, and anywhere, you would’nt be able to identify them until it’s too late. They are even more dangerous than your fams on Prince.org, Prince.”

“Yes, she beat me at the box office with her Re-Invention tour by using outrageous ticket prices. It was her fams that convince me she is more dangerous than Spooky Electric. She has an un-natural control over her them.” Said Prince.

“Actual the Orgers are wonderful fams, except for the women who what to rape my husband, and others who want to get him high.” Said Mani.

There was a knock at the outer security door.

Prince yelled, “Who is it?”
[Edited 12/16/04 15:57pm]

littlemissg said:

"It's me, " Zelaira said.
Prince peeked around the corner to see Zelaira standing there.

What he saw was a complete suprise to him.

He could only describe Zelaira as...

One of his most ‘devoted’ fans, and relentless about bedding him. Zelaira had a small group of people with her. The zealous Z said: Prince, your fams at the Org have become aware of the situation with Madonna, so the OFF has come to assist you. “The OFF?” asked Prince. “The O-F-F, The Org Forever Front, dedicated to protecting the Org against all enemies, against all odds.

Zelaira did the introductions: BananaColonge, master of the padlock; Glamslamkid, able to out glam anyone; AsianBomb777 with his mystical powers of horny toad; Squirrelmeat, the ultimate bathroom monitor, and Littlemissg, kept muzzled and in a straightjacket unless her mad genius is needed. Handclapsfingasnapz couldn’t be here, she suffering from some sort of selective memory loss.

“Cool. What do you do Z?” Prince asked cautiously. “WhatEver You WaNT!! Z is Gona tO roCK This missON!! Let's just Say US Latinas, well, we be Banging and The Booty Go Round It B...HOTTTT!!!!! shouted Zelaira. Mani was not amused. Mani: “I think not little girl, go sit your little a...” “Manuela watch your language!” corrected Prince, sealing the security door.

“Yo, man open up it’s Dennis” a voice cried. “ Hey, Dennis who?” asked Prince “Dennis Rodman! Let me in!” said Dennis. Prince ran to open the door. Dennis also dated Madonna, and could be invaluable. ”AAUGHHH!” Prince screamed. Dennis had made the unfortunate mistake of wearing the same purple outfit Prince had on. Prince went berserk! Prince lept on the started ex- basketball player-actor-rapper-whatever like Popovich wished he could’ve. “You Big Dumb Blonde Bastard!! Nobody Copies Prince’s Styles! NOBODY!!! MOTHER PLUCKER!! GOT THE SAME COSTUME ON LIKE YOU GOT IT OFF THE RACK AT JCPENNEY’S!!! Prince yelled at the top of his lungs while his punches sent Dennis head rocking back and forth like a bobblehead doll. It took half the room to pull Prince off the Ex-Bull, and restrain him. Dennis was bleeding badly, and knocked senseless.

“I guess Dennis ain’t joining us.” said Rick James in his ghostly form.
Mani, taking charge while Prince composed himself, organized the group into command central, the strike team, and a second wave/rescue squad. All systems are go, and the strike team boarded the sheath hovercraft (purple of course) for London.
Madonna was waiting....

littlemissg said:

Aboard the hovercraft Squirrelmeat was saying,”Excuse me, there’s no toilet paper in the bathroom.” Prince answered “ No, we use moist-wipes for just-showered-freshness. They’re in the cabinet above the pot.” “There’s no air freshener in here either.” Said Squirrlemeat. “That’s because when either Mani or I fart it smells like lilacs and lavender thanks to some elective surgery we had done. What fragrance are you emitting?” “Rude Bastard! I can release an odorless anti-virus/bateria gas at will!, I want to save the full force of my blast for battle, if Madonna should try germ warfare, but your facility smells likes sh!!.” Squirrlemeat said as she slammed the bathroom door. Littlemissg gigled through her muzzle, she had chili earlier. Zaliara sat behind Prince, who was piloting the ship. Zaliara: When I heard that beYOTCH was after youR deLICIOus PENIS I WenT Nuts! NoOne wiLL HuRT MY PrINCEY’S sLAb of MANhooD! Zaliara reached a round Prince’s pilot seat and stroked his left tight dangerously close to Little Nelson.

“I have two questions for you Zaliara. Number one: How did you get pass my security system?”Prince inquired. “Oh that! It was easy!”, Z replied pointing at Littlemissg, “She possess the power of contrary, and a total disregard for the obvious. It’s complicated, but simply put she has to do the exact opposite of what so called normal people will do or say, that’s why we keep her muzzled and in a straight jacket. A Normal person would try to disarm you security system, while she...” “Shhhhh” the attractive woman of undeterminable age in the straight jacket hissed. “Oh well, she doesn’t want me to give her secret away. What’s the second question?” Prince leaned over to the hot young groupie and said, “Can you say goodnight?” “GoodNIghT?” replied confused Zaliara as Prince sprayed her with knockout gas from his belt. “That girl ain’t got sense enough not to distract a man when he’s flying a hovercraft.” mumbled Prince. “Sorry about that P, we been playing What Do U Want Me 2 Do? for her nonstop, but she’s not getting the hint.”Glamslam apologized. “Prince man, I can remember when your penis was the biggest threat to the world’s virgins, now here we are a mission to save them.” Said AsianBomb777. “Times change. ” answered Prince. “Remember we also need to keep my penis safe from Madonna or my life is over.” “Let me handle that, I’ll distract her. said AsianBomb777. Prince had no idea what could distract a woman (and more than a few men) from his mighty penis, but decided to say nothing. A ringtone was heard in the cabin, and Glamslam answered his cell. “Glamslam here....wait just a moment.” Glamslam informed the rest of the team estelle1981 and miguelbulcao had finished their reconnaissance of Madonna’s fortified lair, and switched to speaker for their report....
[Edited 12/18/04 20:14pm]

Ummm, Mani gets nothing because Jehovah Witness dont believe in Christmas

hahahahahaha

Over the loud speaker a woman’s voice said “Wake up Hun, it’s dinnertime. Come on Sweet P, Mani got your favorite.” Prince opened his eyes to see Mani leaning over him, her warm hand touching his face. He was on the couch in his study. “Enjoy your nap?” She asked.

Prince sat up and looked around. “Is it still Christmas Eve?” Prince asked. “Yes Dear,” replied Mani “its December 24th. Do still want to stay home tonight?” Prince smiled and said “Yeah, what’s for dinner?”
It was all a dream, one big crazy dream!

After the cucumber salad, Mani dished up big hot bowls of vegetarian chili for the two of them. Prince told her about his dream. “I gave you a Christmas present even though we’re Witnesses. Then you were masturbating with a Larry Graham doll. "Oh my goodness!" Mani said with disgust. I had to fight Michael Jackson’s brothers in the mall, and then we went on vacation, and I had to suck some nasty toes after you got Spooky Electric out of me and, and you got in a cat fight with Star Jones, and I went to Neverland Ranch, and and we, and some crazy fams had to save the world from Madonna! Oh, we had a hovercraft, Rick James came back as a ghost, and our farts smelled like lilacs and lavender!” “You’ll wish your farts smelled like lilacs after you have that chili!” Teased Mani. Prince laughed with his mouth full with cornbread, and took a sip of his mint tea. After dinner, Prince carried two mugs of hot soy-cocoa over to couch where his beloved Manuela was sitting in front of the fire. They cuddled close together, and silently watched the fire. After finishing their cocoa, Mani kissed Prince and whispered, “Want to make love?”

Without a word, Prince swept Mani from the couch, and only pausing once on the long winding staircase when his forty-six-year-old knees started screaming, carried her to the master bedroom. Lowering her gently on the custom king-sized bed Prince, began to kiss her gently. With more practice and precision than he had in his Purple Rain days, he kissed her deeply, and then while never taking his gaze from her eyes, undressed her slowly. Mani, fully aroused, urgently pulled off Prince’s thick white sweater and began to unbutton his high-waist pants. He wore no underwear to slow her down. She saw his legendary member was ready for her, but Mani knew he would take his own sweet time, and she loved him for it. “Mani”, he said softly, as he tenderly caressed and kissed her in all the right places. She ran her fingers through his soft curly hair and sighed. Mani stroked her man’s lean delicious body. She tasted his beautiful face, and his nipples like little chocolate buttons on his well-toned chest. Mani ran her eager tongue over his abs to his belly button. “Let me.” Prince breathed, and lowered his head to her neatly trimmed bush. “Oooh!” Mani intoned in spite of herself. My Prince is fantastic at many, many things but this has to be the best, Mani thought. Prince continued, using every muscle in his talented mouth. Mani closed her eyes tightly, lost in the sensation. Suddenly he stopped. Mani opened her eyes and found Prince staring at her, she knew the gleam in his brown sexy eyes well. In one smooth motion, they joined their bodies into one. Holding each other tightly, they moved slowly, tenderly, deliberately. “Prince” Mani called softly. She felt his strong arm around her, his heart beating next to hers, his warm breath on her skin, his gentle strength inside of her. “I love you in me.” Mani said breathlessly. Together, like a well-choreographed dance, the spouses sought pleasure for the other. The ebb and flow of their love making took on its own life, a cycle of giving and receiving. Prince gave Mani longer steady strokes, Mani returned his rhythm with her whole being. Giving and Receiving, Receiving and Giving. The cycle grew bigger and more intense every moment. Giving, Receiving, Giving, Receiving, Giving, Receiving, Giving, Receiving. The exchange quicken. Prince slipped a strong hand beneath her, lifting her. Mani tighten, Prince’s ring finger found her pucker. Suddenly the world faded a way into a swirl of beautiful colors, floating colors. No sound. Falling soundlessly, endlessly. “It Cold, So Cold...Hold ME! Hold Me!” Prince cried shaking. With all her might Mani held Prince while his warmth spread through her.

The sun woke Mani the next morning. The first thing she did was to thank God for the man laying next to her. Prince slept with an angelic look on his face. Mani was glad today was Christmas even if they didn’t celebrate it. Today there would be no distractions from the outside world. Mani smiled to herself. She carefully slipped out of Prince’s arms, and tiptoed to the bathroom.
Mani laughed out loud when she saw her reflection in the mirror. “Now we look like Mr. & Mrs. Sanchez!” Mani said examining the moustache and goatee Prince had given her the night before. Unfortunately, it did smell like lavender and lilacs as it would’ve in Prince’s dream. Mani searched through her beauty products, then under the sink until she found the orange anti-bacteria soap. A Dirty Sanchez called for more than a gentle cleansing.

Mani quickly showered, and entered the bedroom where Prince was now awake. “Good Morning Mrs. Sanchez!” said Prince smiling. The couple kissed and Prince continued on to the bathroom. “What would you like for breakfast, Love?” Mani asked. “ Just some tea, and maybe a bannana, please.” answered Prince. Mani thought out loud, “There is only one way to get that man to eat a good breakfast”, and hurried off to the kitchen.

Prince had his customary twenty minute shower, and hour and a half mirror pimping session. When Prince emerged from the bathroom, he stopped in his tracks. Mani was stretched out naked on the bed under a massive mountain of muffins! Only her head and neck, arms and legs showed.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day love. I have to make sure you eat well.” Mani reminded her husband.

Prince said, “That sho looks tasty! I think I’ll have a bite!”
Prince leaped on the bed and began munching muffins. “Mmmm! Cinnamon!” cried Prince. *Chomp*Chomp*Chew*Shallow*

“Remember Love, you need proper nutrition to be your best!” Mani said lovingly.

Prince with his checks full like a chipmunk replied: Yum yum-trition!

Smiling Mani said: “Don’t talk with your mouth full Rude Boy!

***The End****

Happy Holidays!!
To make your holiday brighter I have included a cinnamon muffin receipe. Serve however you like.



Cinnamon Muffins

(12 servings)

1 and 3/4 cups flour
1 egg - beaten
3/4 cup milk
1/3 cup oil
1/4 cup sugar
3 teaspoons ground cinnamon
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

Prepare 12 muffin cups with grease or muffin papers.

In a large bowl, sift together flour, half of the sugar, salt and the baking powder.

In a seperate medium bowl, stir together egg, milk and oil. Add egg mixture to the flour mixture. Stir just until moistened.

Fill muffin cups 2/3 full.

In a small bowl, mix together remaining sugar with cinnamon. Sprinkle over top of muffins.

Bake 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out batter-free.
[Edited 12/20/04 16:54pm]