SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

OMG, me too! One of the reasons I have considered loving more than one person. Most people can't handle it, but I need to give love. I love to love. My boyfriend can't understand why I have to tell him and show him all the time. Granted, it may be some kind of Obsessive Compulsive disorder or an insecurity in myself. But, I'm like that with music and movies too! I LOVE. I just do.

I didn't click on this thread until today. I thought it was some kind of "Can't we all get along thread", lol. I was on vacation last week so I'm glad it was bumped. We just watched Henry and June last night, which reminded me about the fact that I fell in love with someone here on the org last year. I'm in a 3 year committed relationship, but I feel very conected to this other person.

I can relate to some of this polyamorous stuff. Thanks for the links tackam! It is a very hard thing to understand until it happens to you. When I told my friend that I'm in love with 2 people at once, he told me I should read Heinlein. Now this org lover, I have never met in person. We have an emotional and spiritual connection. I told my boyfriend about it and he wasn't upset. I'm sure it hurt him to some degree, but I told him honestly that I didn't want to leave him for someone else. That's not me. I value and appreciate and love my boyfriend very much. It's very hard to explain, but I just wanted to share a bit.

I'm a very insecure and jealous person. Not as much as I used to be. I don't mind my boyfriend talking to girls anymore, lol. Unless they are sportin some serious cleavage... But I know my boyfriend isn't the player type. BUT, if I ended up sleeping with someone else with his consent, it would only be fair that he be allowed to do the same thing, and I'm not ready for that. It's not a double standard, I just know that I would come back to my boyfriend out of loyalty. Or maybe I wouldn't and that scares me. Who knows. But anyway, as far as love goes, what I feel for my org lover is genuine and pure, even though we have never met in person.

tackam said:

I don't really care, just kidding I just find it amusing that every few days it somehow pops back up I giggle when I see the title you didn't bump it anyway... someone else did

AaronMaximus said:

Yeah, the title is corny, we should have picked something better. Suggestions?

tackam said:

Seattle is sooo 1993, dear.

AaronSuperior said:

hey! wow! lol!

tact!

tackam

matt

so...has there been any toe sucking yet?

matt said:

Nuh uh.

Diva said:

Thanks, Diva. I've certainly been inspired by your relationship with Moonbeam... the distance issue that you're dealing with makes ours seem like such a minor thing.

MrBliss said:

Nope. I'm not into the whole foot-fetish thing myself... but if Melissa ever wants her toes sucked, I'll gladly oblige.

matt said:

If distance is our only obstacle, we're in for a wonderful life together. It certainly is difficult at times, but we have enough love to make it so much more than worthwhile.

DAMN IT I voted this thread at 5 stars why is it still only a 4 star topic

matt said:

have you had it done?.. i don't have a foot fetish...but damn...it feels great

Moonbeam said:

Y'all are so cute.

Being a long-distance-relationship veteran, I'm very aware that they can work. It's a pain in the ass, and it's worth it.

MrBliss said:

Huh. I don't think I've ever had that done, actually. Well, Matt, perhaps I'll take you up on that. We'll report back to you in a few weeks, MrBliss.

tackam said:

with photo please

thanks melissa and matt for posting this.

I believed it helped me.
It helped me to understand the position I'm in.

I'm the other half of the person
who perhaps is polyamorous or doesn't know she is, or doesn't understand either what is going on, or isn't talking about it.

I can't explain in detail,
but we are having a problem,
but we love eachother,
we don't want to leave 'us'
we can't both live without eachother,

but she has someone else, who she says, will never come between us, but it's like she can't live without him neither.

It's all very confusing for me,
for several months now,
but this helps,

thanks!

EDD said:

I sooo understand. Check out my post above.

Vina, Edd:

Check out those books for sure. I read Ethical Slut first, and recognizing that there were other people in the world who wanted the same sorts of relationships that I do was a very emotional and cool thing. And, *gasp*, my husband totally agreed. And then, *gasp*, Matt came along and rocked my little poly world.

I think, for some people, this can be a very good thing. I hope, at least, that you get something out of knowing that people can live happily outside of the Relationship Rules.

tackam said:

When I told my boyfriend that I was in love with someone else, but still loved him and didn't want to leave him he wasn't too upset. I said "I want you both" and he said "Ok, Freida...

LOL, we had just seen the movie and that promted me to tell him.

VinaBlue said:

That's great. Yeah, I loved that movie.

vina, tackam, thanks a lot.

I realy need all the info I can get.

One thing that is clear to me is that the key is honesty and respect.

and that is/was the thing that was missing.
she is/was totaly hiding it from me, but it's something as a partner that you feel.
I had to push her to tell me everything.
she told me a lot, but I still believe she doesn't tell me everything.

I don't blame her, because I know it must be hard and confusing for her also.
she clearly said she doesn't want to loose me.
what makes it more difficult, we have two wonderfull children..., we build a beautifull future for our whole family, and we both don't want to risk all that for ... for what we don't know eather.

I sometimes don't know what my role in this whole thing is ...

confusing, and hard,
but there is still a whole lot of love

''A statement of love from matt and tackam'


hell yeh!
Goodtimes


/
Goes thru tackam&matts fridge whilst there busy answering questions on the thread...oh leftover fries ...



tip toes on outta here...

EDD said:

It is confusing and hard. The Rules say that you are supposed to freak out, and she is supposed to give up on the other love in her life as a result, and you are allowed to hold this over her head for the rest of time, and that basically things have to go to shit because she has the audacity to have good feelings about somebody else. I say 'fuck the Rules', but that means you have to figure out your own way of doing things, with little or no support from others. That is hard. It takes some guts just to be asking the questions that you are asking, you know?

Good luck.

VinaBlue said:

Okay, so I don't see as many movies as I should. To what film are you referring?

<--- just loves his wife; finds it neither hard nor confusing

matt said:

I think it was just called Frieda. It's about the artist Frieda Kahlo. Very nice film.

teller said:

If she loved somebody else, but still loved you, and you didn't want to leave her, you might find it hard and/or confusing.

tackam said:

Yeah...but she doesn't, see? :LOL:

Seriously--we freaky monogomorous people avoid such things intentionally. We resist temptation.