matt said:

Very, very interesting. I figured out the intellectual aspect of it but it's awesome that there can be intense emotions at the same time. A great relationship should involve both.

<--- not surprised at the many reactions...not offended...finds poly very strange...wants to be supportive, etc...

I think you're wonderful, Tackam... And, Matt, I like you a lot too...

Best wishes...

<--- values Me!issa above all orgers...knows little of this "matt" guy...

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

The thing that most people in our lives miss behind all of the interest in our relationship being poly is that it is, emotionally, pretty much like any other romantic relationship.

The intellecual aspect may be more intense than in "normal" relationships, because of the need to be extra careful about good communication, the need to deal with the lack of understanding from larger society, and whatnot. And certainly, Matt and I are both very intellectual sorts, who analyze all of this to death, and enjoy it!

None of that has much to do with the emotional part of it, which is quite simply the falling and being in love. It has been very intense and wonderful to experience this with Matt. It would be terribly fun for me to elaborate (ie. gush), but also nauseating for the majority of you, so I'll leave it there.

teller said:

There is no doubt in my mind of your support, hon, don't worry.

And "this Matt guy" is somebody I'm confident that you, in particular, would be very fond of if you knew him better.

tackam said:

Well, he's a just a stranger to me, but your love for him grants him status in my eyes.

tackam said:

The thing that is really intriguing about this type of a relationship is that by it's very nature, it fosters open communication between each other because it's doomed to failure without it.

I know a couple that have this kind of relationship. They have been together for 15 years and started poly...(I need to memorize that word!) about 10 year in. They are one of the happiest couples I've ever met. They realize that life doesn't end at marriage and that connections with people will be made throughout their lives. By admitting this is true, they allow each other to experience those connections with others knowing that because they are open about it, they can in turn be more open with each other which promotes an even deeper bond.

I know it sounds weird but I get it. And for the record, I could probably roll with something like this as long as my intense emotional needs weren't ignored and or neglected. I would honestly get jealous and my partner would have to make me know that I am important to them.

.
[This message was edited Wed Sep 3 16:07:45 PDT 2003 by SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy]

matt said:

Spot on, man. I wish you both whatever you wish for yourselves.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Somebody who "gets it"?! Geezus, Matt, are you seeing this?!



You totally get it. Emotional needs have to be met, and jealousy is legitimate. It's really important, when somebody is feeling that way, to find out why and what to do about it. Making everybody feel special is crucial.

One way that I've tried to explain this to people, especially my mother, is like this: parents say that they can love multiple children with equal intensity, despite having different relationships with each of them. Loving one doesn't diminish the love for the others. The kids will feel jealous of each other sometimes, but that generally just means that they are needing to feel special. That can be taken care of, and everybody can move forward, perhaps having learned how to better take care of each others needs in the process.

This is opposed to the normal treatment of jealousy between adult partners, which generally means that one person is blamed for being/doing/feeling something "wrong", and it is supposed to be fair to demand that they stop. Even if that means having relationships without the desired depth, or having less love in life. This is what I reject. Jealousy can still happen, but without the blame, and without meaning that a person can't have the relationships that they want.

I love being poly, because I love people and I love intimacy. Really (as you may understand, Supa), I can be an intense mutherfucker, perhaps too much for one person in a lot of ways. Loving multiple people lets me feel more myself; instead of bottling who I am and being frustrated, I can be appreciated for having so much emotional intensity to go around. . .rather than overwhelming one poor, innocent little partner with all of it.

tackam said:

LOL. Sometimes I think of my love like Baby Huey. I just do what's natural for me to do and it ends up killing some people just like when baby Huey would pick up a pet and crush it. I am way too much to handle for most guys but for those who can, they are always in for a treat

tackam said:

cool!


so tackam..does matt have a big dick?.. bigger than your hubby's?

so matt... has tackam stuck her finger in your bum yet?.. and if so...is it all it's cracked up to be?

I hope I haven't offended anyone on this thread.

Moonbeam said:

only by dragging it back up to the top of the forum, when it had finally died...


oh, wait, that was MrBliss

AaronSuperior said:

there are questions to be answered!

Congrats Matt and Mel!ssa (tackam). I am so happy for you both. This is so romantic (sigh)

teller said:

Yes, yes, yes ! :happy:

Love your pic guys, what a HOT couple you make.

Moonbeam said:

Not at all.

MrBliss said:

Yes. . .roughly the same.

What, you thought I wouldn't answer?

tackam said:

cool!

and after you've finished a hot session... how long does it take before he's fired up, ready to go again?..approx...give or take a minute

MrBliss said:

I never got around to setting a timer, sorry.

good 4 u kids

Thanks again, peeps.

I will be in Indianapolis two weeks from now!

And the fact that I'm incredibly excited about going to friggin' Indianapolis tells you just how much I like this Matt guy. I mean, the midwest is bad enough, but could he live in MPLS? Chicago? No. Indianapolis. Whatever.

Two weeks.

just when i think it's safe to go back into the forum...

it's back!

tackam said:

Indiana is not bad unless you have to live there...that I why I moved Have fun girly

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

anything south and east of I-94 is a drag

AaronMaximus said:

Along with Southern Illinois I am just kiddin

MostBeautifulGrlNTheWorld said:

you sure as hell aren't anything below I-72 is a fucking waste... and that includes any bits of St. Louis that spill over the river hell, St. Louis itself is shit, so...

AaronMaximus said:

Yes, and I've just now decided that I will bump it periodically, for the entire time that the org exists, and/or for the rest of time, just in order to irritate you. Because I think you deserve it. And it's my thread.