how sad that you as a group have managed to turn a statement of love into a big joke, not caring at all about whose feelings you were hurting or whose relationship you were sabatoging.

unbelievable.

i think quite a few you of you should apologize for your disgustingly rude behavior to them.
[This message was edited Wed Sep 3 14:20:02 PDT 2003 by cborgman]

not one person will speak...

well, i hope you are all quite satisfied with your little 'throw tomatoes at the freaks' display that this thread turned into.

Chris, you are so freakin' wonderful I can hardly stand it.

CarrieLee, Ian, Aaron, whomever else: yep, I (and Matt too, but I'm gonna speak for myself) expected a variety of reactions and opinions. That's fine, and I hear what y'all are saying. I think polyamory is less strange if you actually look into it, but it's certainly not for everbody, and I'm not proposing that it should be.

We wanted to let the org know what is going on because we both spend time here and wanted to be open about the situation. That's all. People can approve, dissaprove, congratulate, mock. . .whatever. We're just doing our thing here, and it seemed silly to hide it. I'm not ashamed. Chris is right; this is a queer relationship, with many of the challenges thereof, but little of the social recognition. I know that and am prepared to deal with it.

I don't want people to feel bad about having less-than-fluffy reactions. I would just say that this is real and serious to me; it isn't a little pretend org romance, it's a real-life big-deal no-kidding in-love thing. We've put it out there, so we expect critisism, but. . .if you were to TRY to be nice, it wouldn't hurt.

EllisDee said:

My thoughts exactly.

tackam said:

Tackam that was quite big of you, and I thank you...

I really don't think any harm was meant, at all..

sag10 said:

well, i have to say i disagree, sag. i have seen some of the most disgusting displays of bile and venom and cruel mocking in this thread that make funkbible's comments look like a walk through the petting zoo.

i have never been more disgusted with the behavior of the org than i am right now.

minneapolisgenius said:

Ok, ok. Look. We have friends here! We know that this relationship is unconventional, and these are the sorts of questions that we've been getting from other people in our lives.

If you don't care, if you don't think this is interesting or worth having a thread about, bugger off! This thread was intended for the people who would want to know what is going on in our lives. . .and perhaps even to have a little fun with the whole thing. . .

What, the GD forum should be limited purely to smut and fluff? Geezus. Sorry for bringing a bit of real life into your playground.

I'm not taking this nearly as seriously as some of y'all are.

cborgman said:

Hey, who are the ones joking about setting up webcams and having people pay to see them?! They put it on a public forum for all to read, they had to expect a lot of different reactions. Simple as that.

cborgman said:

I have seen worse Cborgman... It looks like Tacky and Matt are handling this better than you..

Heads up!

minneapolisgenius said:

that does not excuse the kind of merciless mockery and cruel slams that people have thrown all over their relationship, period.

this thread should have been heavily moderated, this kind of cruel pettiness would not be tolerated in any other instance.

there is a huge difference between having different reactions, and shitting all over someone's personal life and relationship, and the latter was what has occured here.

sag10 said:

they are handling it fine, and so i am i. but i am bloody well going to point out how disgusting this kind of "point and laugh and call them names" kind of bullshit is.

cborgman said:

Oh, sweetie. You know, as with all of life, we have to pick and choose whose opinions affect us. Please don't get yourself worked into feeling bad. It's all in good fun. Matt and I will not take any of this seriously, I assure you.

Well, except maybe the part where you are totally sweet and caring. I take that rather seriously, actually.

cborgman said:

I read throught this whole thread, and have yet to see "merciless mockery" and "cruel slams". That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think? I really don't see what you are talking about. Sag10 is right: they seem to be handling it better than you are.

sag10 said:

I appreciate the concern for my well-being, but I'm troubled by the implication that Melissa somehow forced polyamory (and this relationship) on me. I came to my own conclusion about my poly status. As for our relationship, it's fair to say that mutual feelings for each other developed at the same time, and we both entered into the relationship voluntarily.

To be sure, getting hurt is a fear of mine. But I've been hurt multiple times in the past, all in the context of traditional monogamous relationships. To me, the risk of getting hurt comes from being in love, not polyamory.

:F: Awww. Very nice pic you two!

matt said:

Well, there you are. Look, Matt, I made a thread that got some actual traffic for once.

minneapolisgenius said:

well, unfortunately, i can not go through and do a lot of quoting, because i am already on the verge of deactivation, and that would be considered flaming.

if you think that way, think that way. however the fact that you are defending the statements tells me you must feel that i am at least a little bit right. if i were just completely offbase, you would have ignored me.

tackam said:

CBorg, get over here! U need a hug

I'm glad to see that Melissa and Matt are rolling with the reactions on here. I've actually seen much much worse on the org and I can understand peoples reactions.

If Matt & Melissa aren't taking things personally, you shouldn't either. Although I totally respect the fact that you don't want people hurting their feelers

cborgman said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Same with me -- I thought it was like the Ian and the X-box thing so I never looked at it. Wow. Pretty blown away. The only other experiences I've ever seen of this are on talk shows, so it's interesting to have it "happen" to people I "know."

Rock on and be happy!

matt said:

I understand that you are an adult Matt, and I do wish you well... You are a wonderful human being.

And I know that Tackam is a really decent person,

To be honest, I am sure that most are wishing you both the best, and sometimes the unknown just freaks people out...

Be safe and best wishes.

that was very sweet...

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Thanks for your kind words here, Supa. I can totally understand why your first reaction would have been that we were kidding!

Chris is erring on the side of kindness. The world would be a better place if more people would do that more often. I really appreciate it.

tackam said:

It's true. You know people have this perception about what it is to be gay, and obviously what it's like to be poly..., that they label me/you/us with a label that has nothing to do with the fact that we are emotional people. Because I'm gay, people assume that I'm all about sex when the reality is that I am so super emotional that I often scare people with how much capacity I have inside me to love them. It's always been a problem in my life and probably always will be. Well not that I consider it a problem but since people are afraid of it and run in the other direction, for lack of a better term...

I still say it's fantastic that you 2 are enjoying each other.

sag10 said:

Thanks, Sag. I agree that the unknown factor is a major reason why people react the way that they do, and it's something I quickly realized. One of the most difficult things about being poly is that when I tell people I'm poly, most of the time they have no idea what polyamory is. I'm still trying to find the best way to explain it... I get the "Is this 'swinging'?" question a lot, which makes me think I might need to find a better way to present it.

And yes, Melissa is a wonderful person in so many ways.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I so completely identify with that. Really.

madartista said:

whew! glad I wasn't the only one who was ignoring this thread as a joke that was getting too long to read...

welp, i'm caught up now and have 2 things to say

congrats and good luck!

matt said:

Which means something coming from one of the most fabulous men ever to walk this fine Earth.

Sag, I will try really, really, really hard to take good care of the boy, and if I ever fail, I invite you to come on over here and kick my ass. Twice.

Hell, if you wanna get freaky, just come to my party.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

It's been suggested, both here on the .org and in real life, that my poly status and this relationship are the products of intellect rather than emotion. I think part of the reason for this is that I'm an analytical person who sometimes is not very good at expressing emotions. All I can say is that this relationship has been very intense, emotionally speaking. In fact, one thing I love about Melissa is that she makes me feel safe to be a more outwardly emotional person.

I'll admit that I sometimes look at polyamory from an intellectual viewpoint in order to better understand it. But my poly status is rooted in how I feel, not how I think.