Narcissistic traits are becoming more prevalent, at least in the US.

PeggyO said:

Have a brother in-law who is textbook.

Needed to brush up on my defenses so I didn't react, add alcohol and it's challenging to say the least.

S2DG said:

Several in the past few years alone. Social media, echo chambers/hugboxes, poor emotional and mental support, diminishing authority structures, lack of balanced bullying in high school, etc contribute a lot to their issues.

S2DG said:

alphastreet said:

S2DG said:

Have a brother in-law who is textbook.

Needed to brush up on my defenses so I didn't react, add alcohol and it's challenging to say the least.

Sorry to hear that, must be difficult

Please don't be sorry. I didn't pick him, my wife's sister did.

I've dealt with people like this my whole life. Once I wrapped my head around what was going on and stopped thinking it had anything to do with me, I was able to deal with them without emotional reactions.

It's exhausting to spend time with people like this as you can't just relax around them.

The positive is that they give me another level of appreciation for the good people and the time I spend with them.

RJP1205 said:

S2DG said:

Have a brother in-law who is textbook.

Needed to brush up on my defenses so I didn't react, add alcohol and it's challenging to say the least.

Me too! I've known my bro-in-law for 18 years during which time he's never held a job for more than 2years, thinks whatever he is doing is sooo impressive, literally puts kids on his sports teams based on the parents he thinks he can impress. Every time he quits a job he's got to make a big announcement about all the whys.

Asshole brother-in-laws must be a thing!

Don't get me started about the asshole in my life's career, it's a long list that he's the best in.

My niece and nephew are guaranteed to need therapy from having him as a father. Not sure what anyone can do except be adult in their life who is not like their father.

alphastreet said:

Have you ever met one? I went out with one 10 years ago and it was messy

"would you run to me if somebody hurt you, even if that somebody was me?"

i don't even know you...

Certain professions tend to attract them as well; Law, Medicine, Entertainment, Politics, Religion.

There is a need for continual validation and a craving for power and control.

S2DG said:

RJP1205 said:

S2DG said: Me too! I've known my bro-in-law for 18 years during which time he's never held a job for more than 2years, thinks whatever he is doing is sooo impressive, literally puts kids on his sports teams based on the parents he thinks he can impress. Every time he quits a job he's got to make a big announcement about all the whys.

Asshole brother-in-laws must be a thing!

Don't get me started about the asshole in my life's career, it's a long list that he's the best in.

My niece and nephew are guaranteed to need therapy from having him as a father. Not sure what anyone can do except be adult in their life who is not like their father.

Just to even the score, I have a sister-in-law like this. My brother has 'disappeared' under her reign.

Her daughter is strong but I worry about the impact on her son. My brother does not intervene.

In the end it is about self esteem

I've met several over the years. The current US president is one!

[Edited 1/17/20 8:36am]

Empress said:

I've met several over the years. The current US president is one!

[Edited 1/17/20 8:36am]

Yes!

S2DG said:

From what I've read it stems from an early childhood significant wounding, ie., emotionally unavailable or painfully critical parent etc. The child unconsciously decides not to trust again in a real way and develops a false self. Often this false self is somewhat grandiose, seeks a steady supply of admiration, perhaps applause. Often there is a premium placed a physical beauty, fame, wealth, power etc.It is a difficult place to be as it is hard for them to self-soothe; there is that perpetual need for outside validation.

I bet you Trump is the way he is from early wounding. I think Prince had some of this too.

Madonna had these traits as well; she lost her mother to cancer when she was very young, Michael Jackson experienced serious abuse and was wounded.

I feel compassion for narcissists (when I am not busy being pissed at them)

PeggyO said:

It seems there is a spectrum of narcissistic traits; I doubt you have full-on narcissistic personality disorder, as I thought that was a more or less permanent condition.

EmmaMcG said:

PeggyO said:

From what I've read it stems from an early childhood significant wounding, ie., emotionally unavailable or painfully critical parent etc. The child unconsciously decides not to trust again in a real way and develops a false self. Often this false self is somewhat grandiose, seeks a steady supply of admiration, perhaps applause. Often there is a premium placed a physical beauty, fame, wealth, power etc.It is a difficult place to be as it is hard for them to self-soothe; there is that perpetual need for outside validation.

I bet you Trump is the way he is from early wounding. I think Prince had some of this too.

Madonna had these traits as well; she lost her mother to cancer when she was very young, Michael Jackson experienced serious abuse and was wounded.

I feel compassion for narcissists (when I am not busy being pissed at them)

Whereas some of this is true in my case, I don't think it's the only reason for my former narcissism. In fact, the main reason is that, at the end of the day, I was just a bitch 😂

PeggyO said:

PeggyO said:

Narcissistic traits are becoming more prevalent, at least in the US.

Citation for this?

PeggyO said:

Certain professions tend to attract them as well; Law, Medicine, Entertainment, Politics, Religion.

There is a need for continual validation and a craving for power and control.

Citation needed.

alphastreet said:

I also want to see the article it came from!

I've been interested in the study of narcissism for a long time. I thought it was well-known that certain fields attract narcissists.

There are many articles on this phenomenon...best to teach ourselves.

Let me know what y'all find and I'd be happy to engage but I don't want to be teacher today.

PeggyO said:

alphastreet said:

I also want to see the article it came from!

I've been interested in the study of narcissism for a long time. I thought it was well-known that certain fields attract narcissists.

There are many articles on this phenomenon...best to teach ourselves.

Let me know what y'all find and I'd be happy to engage but I don't want to be teacher today.

In other words, "I was talking out of my ass and don't feel like backing it up."

spacedolphin said:

Several in the past few years alone. Social media, echo chambers/hugboxes, poor emotional and mental support, diminishing authority structures, lack of balanced bullying in high school, etc contribute a lot to their issues.

So, in an age of unchecked police brutality and high school bullying and high school shootings you want a stricter, more authoritarian society and more bullying in high school ?

Seriously ?

Funny I read an article on this last week about Narcissim and the "experts" say there is an increase in it and blame much of it on Social Media (such as Instagram) as people post photos of themselves and look for validation and it inflates egos and gives one a feeling of self importance.

They said that people on Insta if they don't get enough "likes" or such also get really depressed and even angry about it ................