I keep coming back to this thread... Guess I'll finally answer.

1. Anti-Gay.
   My best friend is gay and I have a lot of gay/lesbian friends who were there before and will be there after...
   If you can't respect them, then I have no use for you. You're not going to change who I am, and I don't have time for your issues.
2. Poor hygiene/bad breath. (Not "I ate something funky" breath.. I mean that "What died in your mouth" breath)
3. Lack of conversational skills. I can't spend time with you if I don't even want to hear you speak.
4. Issues with my love of music or what kind of music I listen to.
   It's complicated, but if we can't agree on one damn song, or you have an issue everytime I want to go to a show, then NO.
5. NY Yankee fans.

No seriously... #5: Residual relationship drama. I've had a ton of my own. I don't need yours. Please. I'm done.

Not creative or no talents/hobby

Not emotionally intelligent

Not romantic

Uncommunicative

-

Thats really about it. This is quite a negetive thread.

Shyra said:

My list is longer than five. Absolute deal breakers are as follows:

1. Alcoholic/drug addict

2. Bisexual

3. Socio/Psychopaths

4. Liars/thieves

5. Physically/emotionally abusive

6. Poor hygiene

7. Financially unstable, still lives at home with mother or with a bunch of room/housemates. At this stage of the game, especially at my age, I want a man who has just as much as I do or more.

8. No sense of humor.

I like this list. A deal breaker for me is also a politically conservative guy and someone who's out of shape. I don't wanna sound superficial but I worked hard (still do) to get in shape and I want a guy who think it's important to stay in shape.

DysregulatedToxicity said:

Shyra said:

My list is longer than five. Absolute deal breakers are as follows:

1. Alcoholic/drug addict

2. Bisexual

3. Socio/Psychopaths

4. Liars/thieves

5. Physically/emotionally abusive

6. Poor hygiene

7. Financially unstable, still lives at home with mother or with a bunch of room/housemates. At this stage of the game, especially at my age, I want a man who has just as much as I do or more.

8. No sense of humor.

I like this list. A deal breaker for me is also a politically conservative guy and someone who's out of shape. I don't wanna sound superficial but I worked hard H (still do) to get in shape and I want a guy who think it's important to stay in shape. I mn

Oh, yes, that's a good one. I forgot about that one. That is a deal breaker for me as well. No big guts and man titties for me. I might tolerate a gut on a otherwise rather slim frame, but if a man is obese, I can't hang. Oh and one more. I don't want to sound like a snob, but a man must have some education/intelligence and home training. He must be able to hold an intelligent conversation on varied subjects and have decent table manners and etiquette. And he must know how to speak the king's english, no glaring grammatical errors, please! I don't want to be embarrassed every time he opens his mouth. One more. Married or separated men who hit on me get shut down immediately. If you're separated, you're still married, and nine times out of ten, you're just trolling until you decide to go back home to wifey and kids. I'm nobody's "jump off."

I guess with all these demands, it's the reason I've never been married!

Hudson said:

I don't want a man who finds woman doable.

You watch too much Big Bang Theory.

in ORDER

1 Bad Hygiene

2 Extreme laziness (more job-related $$$$, than house-related)

3 Refusal to adapt to my family's flaws (like everybody does, or should do?)

4 Refusal to respect my NEED for some weekly free time FOR MYSELF , If I'm reading a book, I don't want you talking to me okay

5 Random cheating (I could forgive cheating under certain circumstances)

(I have omitted the OBVIOUS -frigid, racism, homophobia, neofascism, arrogance, lack of common interests, incompatible characters, too talkative, emotionally immature, hate for Prince, etc-because I couldn't be a relationship with someone like that to begin with, wtf)

[Edited 5/20/14 12:36pm]

I Still think you're a troll but in one of your ''stories'' didn't you cheat on your wife? i can't keep up with the bad erotic novels you right on here.

5???

Pfft.....

1. You can't be some selfish fuck only thinking about YOUR needs.

2. Still feeling a need to see if you "still got it with the ladies" by hanging out trying to have a pissing match with your friends stuck on bachelor mode. Fuck off.

3. Look at any girl or woman in my family in any sexual way. "Your sister is hot" or staring at my mom's tits will get you chased out my life with the quickness.

4. Complaining about my kids, or anyone's children including your own.

5. Lies, even lies made in omittance I will NOT tolerate.

6. I leave my purse in your car to run to get something quickly from a store, you BETTER not go through my shit being some sort of nosy bastard that doesn't respect my privacy. Wanna search my bag for tampons you pussy... ask me and I'll give you one. Respect my belongings!

7. When you come into MY space, do NOT pick up my remote, go into MY fridge, or act as if you own and live in my place. It's MY place, you are my guest, know your place and sit your ass down in that corner. Thanks.

8. You fuck me, get the hell out of my house. If you try to hang around I will cut you. We suck, we fuck, we bust nuts and you leave my house before your dick is dry. Got it?! Good! Trust me, you will get used to getting dressed in the hallway. Its OK, my neighbors understand.

9. I NEVER cheat, so don't start accusing me of shit. Do not try abusive psychological crap on me and do not dangle the marriage carrot in my face. I am over 40, raising 3 kids and have no time for a muthafucka trying to make my life more complicated. Its why I kicked my children's father to the curb. Easy peasy.

10. Expecting things from me like dinners, handouts...etc. takes away resources I use for my children. Do not ask me to give to you and it takes from my kids, any real man would never ask that of me. Don't give me a dime and expect a dollar back. Kiss my ass.

11. Don't treat me like I am your ex... we all have baggage, but I am not ex # ____. I am unique and come with my own brand of crazy.

12. WASH YOUR ASS like I wash mine. Take care of you, so I can hump you proper.

[Edited 5/20/14 23:01pm]

NinaB said:

^ ^ ^ Hell Yes to all of that! See now this is exactly why I love your posts! Don't stay away so long! [Edited 5/20/14 22:51pm]

I know I must sound crazy t some guys, but being over 40 and a mom makes me want a simple uncomplicated boyfriend who comes over, laughs and shares good conversation and sex.

My time is exhausted with my family and keeping it simple is best. I also tend to attract bossy/dominant men! So I have to come off strong and forceful to get my needs heard.

1) Clinginess
2) Addiction (drugs, porn, gambling...)
3) Financially Irresponsible

4) Abusive (not limited to physical)

5) Cheating (if you cheat at cards, I may end up killing you)

6) Spinelessness

7) Bossy

8) Ineffective Communicator
9) Prejudice (gay haters, racists, classists, sexists...)
10) Flake
11) Terrible in bed

12) Nosiness

13) Negative

14) STD's (I have a hard time with this one)
15) Dependency

paintedlady said:

chocolate1 said:

I keep coming back to this thread... Guess I'll finally answer.

Me too.

Alcoholic...lived with 2. My ex-husband for 3 years and ex-fiance for 7 years through 3 bouts of rehab. Never again...Nope...can't do it. Social drinker yes...mean, physically abusive, DUI drunk no.

Smoker...lived with one for 7 years. Nope...can't do it.

Republican...disclaimer; the racist, completely capitalistic, don't give a shit about anyone but me, anti-gay, anti-women, religious fanatic Repubs

Cheating...been there done that. The grass is never greener. If you want to cheat, leave...goodbye.

Personal Space...MUST respect my need to be completely alone sometimes. I am a total introvert and without my quiet and dark time I will go nuts. Just because I need to go swimming nude alone doesn't mean I'm cheating. Not a fucking teenager anymore.

I could post more but I guess 5 was the limit.

[Edited 5/21/14 0:43am]

paintedlady said:

5???

Pfft.....

1. You can't be some selfish fuck only thinking about YOUR needs.

2. Still feeling a need to see if you "still got it with the ladies" by hanging out trying to have a pissing match with your friends stuck on bachelor mode. Fuck off.

3. Look at any girl or woman in my family in any sexual way. "Your sister is hot" or staring at my mom's tits will get you chased out my life with the quickness.

4. Complaining about my kids, or anyone's children including your own.

5. Lies, even lies made in omittance I will NOT tolerate.

6. I leave my purse in your car to run to get something quickly from a store, you BETTER not go through my shit being some sort of nosy bastard that doesn't respect my privacy. Wanna search my bag for tampons you pussy... ask me and I'll give you one. Respect my belongings!

7. When you come into MY space, do NOT pick up my remote, go into MY fridge, or act as if you own and live in my place. It's MY place, you are my guest, know your place and sit your ass down in that corner. Thanks.

8. You fuck me, get the hell out of my house. If you try to hang around I will cut you. We suck, we fuck, we bust nuts and you leave my house before your dick is dry. Got it?! Good! Trust me, you will get used to getting dressed in the hallway. Its OK, my neighbors understand.

9. I NEVER cheat, so don't start accusing me of shit. Do not try abusive psychological crap on me and do not dangle the marriage carrot in my face. I am over 40, raising 3 kids and have no time for a muthafucka trying to make my life more complicated. Its why I kicked my children's father to the curb. Easy peasy.

10. Expecting things from me like dinners, handouts...etc. takes away resources I use for my children. Do not ask me to give to you and it takes from my kids, any real man would never ask that of me. Don't give me a dime and expect a dollar back. Kiss my ass.

11. Don't treat me like I am your ex... we all have baggage, but I am not ex # ____. I am unique and come with my own brand of crazy.

12. WASH YOUR ASS like I wash mine. Take care of you, so I can hump you proper.

[Edited 5/20/14 23:01pm]

I u.

Shyra said:

DysregulatedToxicity said:

I like this list. A deal breaker for me is also a politically conservative guy and someone who's out of shape. I don't wanna sound superficial but I worked hard H (still do) to get in shape and I want a guy who think it's important to stay in shape. I mn

Oh, yes, that's a good one. I forgot about that one. That is a deal breaker for me as well. No big guts and man titties for me. I might tolerate a gut on a otherwise rather slim frame, but if a man is obese, I can't hang. Oh and one more. I don't want to sound like a snob, but a man must have some education/intelligence and home training. He must be able to hold an intelligent conversation on varied subjects and have decent table manners and etiquette. And he must know how to speak the king's english, no glaring grammatical errors, please! I don't want to be embarrassed every time he opens his mouth. One more. Married or separated men who hit on me get shut down immediately. If you're separated, you're still married, and nine times out of ten, you're just trolling until you decide to go back home to wifey and kids. I'm nobody's "jump off."

I guess with all these demands, it's the reason I've never been married!

paintedlady said:

Ocean said:

paintedlady said:

5???

Pfft.....

1. You can't be some selfish fuck only thinking about YOUR needs.

2. Still feeling a need to see if you "still got it with the ladies" by hanging out trying to have a pissing match with your friends stuck on bachelor mode. Fuck off.

3. Look at any girl or woman in my family in any sexual way. "Your sister is hot" or staring at my mom's tits will get you chased out my life with the quickness.

4. Complaining about my kids, or anyone's children including your own.

5. Lies, even lies made in omittance I will NOT tolerate.

6. I leave my purse in your car to run to get something quickly from a store, you BETTER not go through my shit being some sort of nosy bastard that doesn't respect my privacy. Wanna search my bag for tampons you pussy... ask me and I'll give you one. Respect my belongings!

7. When you come into MY space, do NOT pick up my remote, go into MY fridge, or act as if you own and live in my place. It's MY place, you are my guest, know your place and sit your ass down in that corner. Thanks.

8. You fuck me, get the hell out of my house. If you try to hang around I will cut you. We suck, we fuck, we bust nuts and you leave my house before your dick is dry. Got it?! Good! Trust me, you will get used to getting dressed in the hallway. Its OK, my neighbors understand.

9. I NEVER cheat, so don't start accusing me of shit. Do not try abusive psychological crap on me and do not dangle the marriage carrot in my face. I am over 40, raising 3 kids and have no time for a muthafucka trying to make my life more complicated. Its why I kicked my children's father to the curb. Easy peasy.

10. Expecting things from me like dinners, handouts...etc. takes away resources I use for my children. Do not ask me to give to you and it takes from my kids, any real man would never ask that of me. Don't give me a dime and expect a dollar back. Kiss my ass.

11. Don't treat me like I am your ex... we all have baggage, but I am not ex # ____. I am unique and come with my own brand of crazy.

12. WASH YOUR ASS like I wash mine. Take care of you, so I can hump you proper.

[Edited 5/20/14 23:01pm]

4anothertime said:

Ocean said:

How many times have YOUR neighbors seen you getting dressed on the stairs or running naked across your house?? LOL

I know Ocean is a happily married woman so I should explain my reasons why I practice dating this way.

1- I am a single mother of three. I am stigmatized anyways as a woman who makes poor choices at the very least. Some may even consider me immoral (unreasonably so) just because they like to lump all single mothers in the "ratchet" category because of their own Puritanical views.

BUT! It is alright with me, since this allows me a new found freedom to do EXACTLY as I please. It's not not me "giving up" on how people see me, I just don't give a damn what people think. I have ZERO fear of what people might say about me since none of those judgemental heffas are paying my bills or helping me in any way.

2- In my twenties I needed the post sex cuddles for validation, but no longer. I am simply a no-fuss type of lover.

He comes over (I prefer this since I do not have to drag toiletries around, and I am partcular) we cuddle on the couch, watch his stupid western/oldie

I offer him a drink, which he almost always turns down because he wants to start kissing

We kiss, hug, laugh, giggle, talk, and get hotter

then we take it to the bedroom... and have at it

I bring my "A" game every time and never waste a moment to learn his body better (its been over 4 years now since I had this lover)

We get done and he knows to start tossing his clothing on immediately as I gently usher him to the door

a quick peck and he's stumbling down the hall to leave still buckling his belt and adjusting clothes.

IF my neighbor sees (84 year old Ms. Betty, who is home during the days and has a 45 year old lover herself!) gives me a wink or a thumbs up. Love her!

I close my door, take a shower, and sit back freshly showered and satisfied with a glass of whatever I please and free to continue on with my day, any way I wish.

besides, I don't want to date with my kids unless he makes a commitment (engaged with me) because I don't want my kids to miss him if we break up. I will never push or pressure a man for a commitment, so my freedoms allow him the space he needs to have an easy going relationship.

It is not for everyone, but it works for me while my kids are still school aged and my main focus.

[Edited 5/21/14 7:05am]

noimageatall said:

chocolate1 said:

I keep coming back to this thread... Guess I'll finally answer.

Me too.

Alcoholic...lived with 2. My ex-husband for 3 years and ex-fiance for 7 years through 3 bouts of rehab. Never again...Nope...can't do it. Social drinker yes...mean, physically abusive, DUI drunk no.

Smoker...lived with one for 7 years. Nope...can't do it.

Republican...disclaimer; the racist, completely capitalistic, don't give a shit about anyone but me, anti-gay, anti-women, religious fanatic Repubs

Cheating...been there done that. The grass is never greener. If you want to cheat, leave...goodbye.

Personal Space...MUST respect my need to be completely alone sometimes. I am a total introvert and without my quiet and dark time I will go nuts. Just because I need to go swimming nude alone doesn't mean I'm cheating. Not a fucking teenager anymore.

I could post more but I guess 5 was the limit.

[Edited 5/21/14 0:43am]

^^^ I need to add those to my list as well!

Mandingo said:

'What 5 things would your partner have to do for you to dump them?'

• Not treat me like a king when I am the king!
• Treat me like the king when I'm an ass and not call me out
• Come back home without some kind of foodstuff for me
• Wear denim on top and bottom
• Be really dull

paintedlady said:

noimageatall said:

chocolate1 said:

Me too.

Alcoholic...lived with 2. My ex-husband for 3 years and ex-fiance for 7 years through 3 bouts of rehab. Never again...Nope...can't do it. Social drinker yes...mean, physically abusive, DUI drunk no.

Smoker...lived with one for 7 years. Nope...can't do it.

Republican...disclaimer; the racist, completely capitalistic, don't give a shit about anyone but me, anti-gay, anti-women, religious fanatic Repubs

Cheating...been there done that. The grass is never greener. If you want to cheat, leave...goodbye.

Personal Space...MUST respect my need to be completely alone sometimes. I am a total introvert and without my quiet and dark time I will go nuts. Just because I need to go swimming nude alone doesn't mean I'm cheating. Not a fucking teenager anymore.

I could post more but I guess 5 was the limit.

[Edited 5/21/14 0:43am]

^^^ I need to add those to my list as well!

I could also add drug user. Anything besides weed which I don't consider a drug and I'm out.

noimageatall said:

paintedlady said:

^^^ I need to add those to my list as well!

I could also add drug user. Anything besides weed which I don't consider a drug and I'm out.

Absolutely! Addictive personalities tend to make for people who are needy and operate in extremes making them unpredictable in a bad way.

paintedlady said:

noimageatall said:

I could also add drug user. Anything besides weed which I don't consider a drug and I'm out.

Absolutely! Addictive personalities tend to make for people who are needy and operate in extremes making them unpredictable in a bad way.

Yep Including insecure, irrational, jealous, and possessive. Not for me.

paintedlady said:

Fauxie said:

'What 5 things would your partner have to do for you to dump them?'

• Not treat me like a king when I am the king!
• Treat me like the king when I'm an ass and not call me out
• Come back home without some kind of foodstuff for me
• Wear denim on top and bottom
• Be really dull

Apparently you didn't get the memo, denim is in on top and bottom big time.

kewlschool said:

Fauxie said:

'What 5 things would your partner have to do for you to dump them?'

• Not treat me like a king when I am the king!
• Treat me like the king when I'm an ass and not call me out
• Come back home without some kind of foodstuff for me
• Wear denim on top and bottom
• Be really dull

Apparently you didn't get the memo, denim is in on top and bottom big time.

I don't get memos, any of them. I didn't say being in or out of fashion was a dealbreaker, either. I just said no to denim top and bottom. The attractive ladies in the above pic do nothing to change this. If I were to hook up with them at least one of two things would have to happen, that they remove either their top or bottom denim clothing items. Ok, so in order for ME to hook up with any of those ladies many others things I can't even conceive of right now would probably have to happen, but just shut up, I've lost interest now.

Bringing up marriage

Letting yourself go

Clingingness/high maintenance

No respect for money

Lack of common sense

Drug/alcohol abuse

Cheating

Ocean said:

paintedlady said:

I know Ocean is a happily married woman so I should explain my reasons why I practice dating this way.

1- I am a single mother of three. I am stigmatized anyways as a woman who makes poor choices at the very least. Some may even consider me immoral (unreasonably so) just because they like to lump all single mothers in the "ratchet" category because of their own Puritanical views.

BUT! It is alright with me, since this allows me a new found freedom to do EXACTLY as I please. It's not not me "giving up" on how people see me, I just don't give a damn what people think. I have ZERO fear of what people might say about me since none of those judgemental heffas are paying my bills or helping me in any way.

2- In my twenties I needed the post sex cuddles for validation, but no longer. I am simply a no-fuss type of lover.

He comes over (I prefer this since I do not have to drag toiletries around, and I am partcular) we cuddle on the couch, watch his stupid western/oldie

I offer him a drink, which he almost always turns down because he wants to start kissing

We kiss, hug, laugh, giggle, talk, and get hotter

then we take it to the bedroom... and have at it

I bring my "A" game every time and never waste a moment to learn his body better (its been over 4 years now since I had this lover)

We get done and he knows to start tossing his clothing on immediately as I gently usher him to the door

a quick peck and he's stumbling down the hall to leave still buckling his belt and adjusting clothes.

IF my neighbor sees (84 year old Ms. Betty, who is home during the days and has a 45 year old lover herself!) gives me a wink or a thumbs up. Love her!

I close my door, take a shower, and sit back freshly showered and satisfied with a glass of whatever I please and free to continue on with my day, any way I wish.

besides, I don't want to date with my kids unless he makes a commitment (engaged with me) because I don't want my kids to miss him if we break up. I will never push or pressure a man for a commitment, so my freedoms allow him the space he needs to have an easy going relationship.

It is not for everyone, but it works for me while my kids are still school aged and my main focus.

[Edited 5/21/14 7:05am]

good on you and bloody hell good on Ms Betty

RIGHT!? One day I will gather my courage and ask her what senior citizen sex is like.... especially with a man the same age as her GRANDSON!!! Crazy. Just amazingly crazy. I pray she uses condoms because she gets more action than me.