NEW Shows Telvision Without Pity

Dads
Premieres: September 17 at 8 PM on Fox
Cast: Seth Green, Giovanni Ribisi, Martin Mull, Vanessa Lachey, Peter Reigert, Brenda Song
What the Heck Is It About? Eli and Warner run a successful video game company, but they are both suddenly saddled with their fathers who have moved in with them and not only take over their homes, but also try to insinuate themselves in the company.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 0. If it weren't for Sean Saves the World, this comedy would be the worst of the season.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Premieres: September 17 at 8:30 PM on Fox
Cast: Andy Samberg, Melissa Fumero, Andre Braugher, Terry Crews, Chelsea Peretti, Joe Lo Truglio, Stephanie Beatriz
What the Heck Is It About? Samberg stars as a smart-alec slacker cop who is lucky to be moderately good at his job, which works for him until Braugher comes in as as his tough new captain.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? All of them. We were dreading this until we actually saw the pilot and discovered it's by far the most promising sitcom of the fall. Samberg's hamminess works perfectly with Braugher's gruffness and the comedy is just spot-on.

Sleepy Hollow
Premieres: September 21 at 9 PM on Fox
Cast: Tom Mison, Nicole Beharie, Orlando Jones, Katie Winter
What the Heck Is It About? Ichabod Crane has been living in some kind of vaguely comatose state for years just waiting to be revived to continue his battle with the Headless Horseman. Of course, he's a fish out of water in modern society and has to convince the police that he's not a killer.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 6. We're willing to give this weird supernatural show a shot.

Mom
Premieres: September 23 at 9:30 PM on CBS
Cast: Anna Faris, Allison Janney, Nate Corddry, Matt Jones, Sadie Calvano, Blake Garrett Rosenthal, Spencer Daniels, French Stewart
What the Heck Is It About? Christy (Faris) is trying hard to be sober, but that's made more difficult by the reappearance of deadbeat mother (Janney) and her two kids.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 13. This show has a great cast and while it suffers from some typical sitcom pratfalls, the leads are charming enough to watch for a while.

Hostages
Premieres: September 23 at 10 PM on CBS
Cast: Toni Collette, Dylan McDermott, Tate Donovan, Sandrine Holt, Rhys Coiro, Billy Brown, Quinn Shephard, Mateus Ward, James Naughton
What the Heck Is It About? Ellen (Collette) is a doctor who is about to perform surgery on the President when her house is invaded and she's told that she has to kill POTUS or her whole family dies.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? We're giving this one a full season. Not sure where they'd go for a second one, but the pilot has us intrigued.

The Blacklist
Premieres: September 23 at 10 PM on NBC
Cast: James Spader, Megan Boone, Diego Klattenhoff, Harry Lennix, Ryan Eggold
What the Heck Is It About? Spader plays a creepy fugitive who is on all the most wanted lists and has decided to willingly turn himself in and help the FBI track down other people who are even worse than he is. But -- twist alert -- he'll only deal with one newbie agent (Boone).
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? We'd say most of the season. Spader's ability to get under our skin totally makes up for Boone's mediocre acting abilities.

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Premieres: September 24 at 8 PM on ABC
Cast: Clark Gregg, Ming-Na Wen, Brett Dalton, Chloe Bennet, Iain De Caestecker, Elizabeth Henstridge
What the Heck Is It About? Post-Avengers, Agent Coulson (Gregg) assembles a group of S.H.I.E.L.D agents to fend off the mysterious group The Rising Tide.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? Sight unseen, we're still going with all of them because, you know, Joss Whedon.

The Goldbergs
Premieres: September 24 at 9 PM on ABC
Cast: Jeff Garlin, Wendi McLendon-Covey, George Segal, Sean Giambrone, Hayley Orrantia, Troy Gentile
What the Heck Is It About? While we were super skeptical about this one on paper given the '80s setting, its actually better than we presumed. It's your typical oddball family comedy with the 11-year-old son Adam (Giambrone) on hand with his ever-present video camera capturing all of these twisted memories.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? At least 4, to give it a shot. It's sort of like an '80s That '70s Show (not to be confused with the terrible That '80s Show).

Trophy Wife
Premieres: September 24 at 9:30 PM on ABC
Cast: Malin Akerman, Bradley Whitford, Michaela Watkins, Marcia Gay Harden, Natalie Morales, Ryan Scott Lee, Bailee Madison, Albert Tsai
What the Heck Is It About? Pete (Whitford) has been married twice before, to Diane (Harden) and Jackie (Watkins), and now he's got a new younger wife, Kate (Akerman), and a whole host of kids. As Kate tries to adjust to being a stepmother and giving up her party girl ways, Pete has to deal with a host of emotions from his exes.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 6. This was better than we expected it to be, so we'll give it a solid shot.

Lucky 7
Premieres: September24 at 10 PM on ABC
Cast: Summer Bishil, Lorraine Bruce, Alex Castillo, Christine Evangelista, Stephen Louis Grush, Matt Long, Anastasia Phillips, Luis Antonio Ramos, Isiah Whitlock, Jr.
What the Heck Is It About? Coworkers at a gas station participate in a lottery pool and then it finally pays off. The trick is seeing who becomes an ass when they get cash, and who really benefits from the new wealth.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 1. We were bored by the pilot.

Back in the Game
Premieres: September 25 at 8:30 PM on ABC
Cast: James Caan, Maggie Lawson, Ben Koldyke, Griffin Gluck, Lenora Crichlow
What the Heck Is It About? Like last season's failed How to Live With Your Parents (for the Rest of Your Life), this centers around a grown woman getting divorced and moving home. Is that a thing now? But the big twist here is that there's a Bad News Bears element to it, where Lawson's single mom stars a baseball team of misfits after her father (Caan) won't put his own grandchild on his team.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? We're going with 3, because if it doesn't improve by then, we're saying three strikes and we're out.

The Crazy Ones
Premieres: September 26 at 9 PM on CBS
Cast: Robin Williams, Sarah Michelle Gellar, James Wolk, Hamish Linklater, Amanda Setton
What the Heck Is It About? Simon (Williams) runs an ad agency with his daughter Sydney (Gellar) and they struggle to maintain their existing bigwig clients with his odd brand of advertising.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? All of them. One of the more promising shows of the fall, and while there's no Joan Holloway, they did land Mad Men alum James Wolk, and with Williams' clout, we expect big guest stars to be flowing through the doors. The premiere is heavy on the Kelly Clarkson, and we're not going to complain at all about that.

The Michael J. Fox Show
Premieres: September 26 at NBC
Cast: Michael J. Fox, Wendell Pierce, Betsy Brandt, Conor Romero, Juliette Goglia, Jack Gore, Katie Finneran
What the Heck Is It About? Playing a thinly veiled version of himself, Fox stars as a local news reporter suffering with Parkinson's disease who is trying to deal with his illness and the possibility of returning to work after a humiliating on-air incident. And he's got a family who is tired of him hanging around doing nothing.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? A few. This show is pretty average, but we're hoping that Fox's self-effacing humor will shine through.

Masterchef Junior
Premieres: September 27 at 8 PM on Fox
Cast: Gordon Ramsay, Graham Elliot, Joe Bastianich
What the Heck Is It About? Gordon torturing little kids in the kitchen along with Graham and Joe.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? Most of them. What else have you got cooking on a Friday night at 8 PM?

Masters of Sex
Premieres: September 29 at 10 PM on Showtime
Cast: Michael Sheen, Lizzy Caplan, Caitlin FitzGerald, Nicholas D'Agosto, Teddy Sears, Beau Bridges, Allison Janney, Julianne Nicholson
What the Heck Is It About? Masters and Johnson and their experiments delving into human sexuality. Let's just say it's NSFW.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? All of them. It's a perfect show to decompress with after Homeland.

Betrayal
Premieres: September 29 at 10 PM on ABC
Cast: Stuart Townsend, James Cromwell, Hannah Ware, Chris Johnson
What the Heck Is It About? Sounds like such a needlessly convoluted soap opera. If Season 2 ofRevenge taught us anything, it's that complicated doesn't always mean good. Here Sara (Ware) and Jack (Townsend) are hot for each other, but her husband is the opposing counsel in a big case, and there's a lot of star-crossed lover nonsense. It's much more layered than that, but explaining it in detail is just too exhausting.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 1. We barely made it through the pilot.

We Are Men
Premieres: September 30 at 8:30 PM on CBS
Cast: Tony Shalhoub, Jerry O'Connell, Kal Penn, Chris Smith, Rebecca Breeds
What the Heck Is It About? When guys get divorced, they flock to an apartment complex where they commiserate about women, try to date and enjoy the single life.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 0. Save yourselves. This is no Men on a Certain Age.

Super Fun Night
Premieres: October 2 at 9:30 PM on ABC
Cast: Rebel Wilson, Liza Lapira, Lauren Ash, Kevin Bishop, Kate Jenkinson
What the Heck Is It About? Three roommates have spent years staying home on Friday nights, but then Kimmie (Wilson) starts moving up at work and flirting with a lawyer and they decide to venture outside to explore new things.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 3. That's about all of a Rebel-focused show we can handle.

Ironside
Premieres: October 2 at 10 PM on NBC
Cast: Blair Underwood, Pablo Schreiber, Spencer Grammer,
What the Heck Is It About? A remake of the classic show about a cop in a wheelchair. This version stars Blair Underwood as the titular tough cop and somehow Greek star/Kelsey's daughter Spencer Grammer is also on the force in the most unbelievable NYPD casting since Kristin Kreuk in Beauty and the Beast.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 1. We've got about all the NYC-based cop shows we can handle, thanks. Plus, if this show in and way keeps Pablo Schreiber from reprising his Orange Is the New Black role, we'll be peeved.

The Millers
Premieres: October 3 at 8:30 PM on CBS
Cast: Will Arnett, Beau Bridges, Margo Martindale, Jayma Mays, J.B. Smoove, Nelson Franklin, Eve Moon
What the Heck Is It About? Arnett is a recent divorcee happily enjoying his single status, until his parents split and his mom moves in with him while his dad moves in with his sister.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 1. We love Margo Martindale, but this show tested our devotion.

Welcome to the Family
Premieres: October 3 at 8:30 PM on NBC
Cast: Mike O'Malley, Ella Rae Peck, Joseph Haro, Ricardo A. Chavira, Justina Machado
What the Heck Is It About? Two teenagers fall in love and she gets pregnant, and then their families who hate each other have to learn to get along, Romeo and Juliet-style but no one seems to die.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 0. This is probably the only time we've ever thought that Mike O'Malley would be better off sticking with Glee.

Sean Saves the World
Premieres: October 3 at 9 PM on NBC
Cast: Sean Hayes, Linda Lavin, Thomas Lennon, Megan Hilty, Samantha Isler, Echo Kellum
What the Heck Is It About? Sean Hayes stars as a gay man who is suddenly raising his teenage daughter after his ex-wife decided to up and leave, and he's having a hard time juggling parenting with a demanding job.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? Negative 1, if possible. In fact, try and un-see the commercials if you can. We wish we could go somewhere to have it erased from our brains like inEternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

The Originals
Premieres: October 8 at 8 PM on The CW
Cast: Joseph Morgan, Daniel Gilles, Claire Holt, Pheobe Tonkin, Charles Michael Davis, Daniella Pineda, Leah Pipes, Danielle Campbell
What the Heck Is It About? Did you watch the backdoor pilot of The Vampire Diaries? Then you know they've sent Klaus, Rebekah and Elijah to New Orleans to take back the night from some rival vamps who are really mean to witches.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 13. That's when Vampire Diaries' first season went full throttle, so we'll keep up with this show until then and evaluate our devotion at that point.

The Tomorrow People
Premieres: October 9 at 9 PM on The CW
Cast: Robbie Amell, Luke Mitchell, Peyton List, Aaron Yoo, Mark Pellegrino, Madeleine Mantock
What the Heck Is It About? Stephen seems like a normal teen, until he starts teleporting uncontrollably in the middle of the night. Eventually he's told he's one of the Tomorrow People, an advanced race of humans who can do amazing things with their minds. Of course there's the whole bit about people chasing after them and wanting to torture/experiment on them.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 10. It could be our new Kyle XY-like guilty pleasure or it could be an unwatchable mess.

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland
Premieres: October 10 at 8 PM on ABC
Cast: Sophie Lowe, Michael Socha, Peter Gadiot, Emma Rigby, Naveen Andrews, John Lithgow
What the Heck Is It About? From the people that brought you Once Upon a Time original flavor comes this Alice in Wonderland-centric show. Here, Alice is considered crazy because of her wild tales of Wonderland, and the White Rabbit (Lithgow) helps bring her to back down the rabbit hole.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 3? Who are we kidding, we didn't think we'd watch two seasons of OUAT and we're hooked on that. We might as well just add this to our guilty pleasure list right now.

Reign
Premieres: October 17 at 9 PM on The CW
Cast: Adelaide Kane, Torrance Coombs, Megan Follows, Alan Van Sprang, Celina Sinden, Caitlin Stasey, Anna Popplewell, Jenessa Grant
What the Heck Is It About? Mary, Queen of Scots. Yes, really. She's been sent to France to secure Scotland's alliance with France by marrying Prince Francis.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 8. Sure, it's history done for teens, but the costumes are so very pretty. And we can't wait to hear all the kids on social media complaining about so-called spoilers. Just don't expect Tudors-level acting or raciness. This is The CW after all.

Dracula
Premieres: October 25 at 10 PM on NBC
Cast: Jonathan Rhys Meyers
What the Heck Is It About? Dracula. Vampires. You know the deal. This time he's out for revenge on those who turned him.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? All of them. It's a limited series, so we plan on sitting through the whole lot.

Almost Human
Premieres: November 4 at 8 PM on Fox
Cast: Karl Urban, Michael Ealy
What the Heck Is It About? Karl Urban is a cop in the future who is tired of his robotic companions, but is forced to work with a very humanistic glitch-y model after a "mishap" with his last metallic partner.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 2. It's worth a second look for the pretty boys, but this sci-fi procedural didn't really grab us.

Enlisted
Premieres: November 8 at 9:30 PM on Fox
Cast: Geoff Stults, Chris Lowell, Parker Young, Keith David
What the Heck Is It About? Pete is a super soldier who ends up returning home to get a ragtag unit into shape, even though that group includes his two brothers, one of whom is disinterested and the other of whom is a moron.
How Many Episodes Should You Watch? 2. It's not without some charm, but it just seems pointless.

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[Edited 9/16/13 20:05pm]

[Edited 9/17/13 23:47pm]

[Edited 10/10/13 3:15am]

Returning shows part 1

Parenthood
Returns: Thursday, September 26 at 10 PM ET on NBC
What to Expect: Well, this is the Braverman clan, so plenty of tears, both happy and sad. Happy tears for Kristina being cancer-free, a pregnant Jasmine, and the possible reunion of Amber and Ryan (Matt Lauria has been confirmed to return for a handful of episodes), Kristina's cancer being gone (we hope) and sad tears for no more Mr. Cyr in sight. (Seriously, who the hell picks Ray Romano?)
Will We Watch It? One of our greatest fears was that the wildly underrated drama wouldn't be renewed, so much like Jason Katims' other great NBC drama Friday Night Lights, we'll stay and fight for this one until the end.

Hawaii Five-0
Returns: September 27 at 9 PM on CBS
What to Expect: The show got shuttled off to Friday nights and we were underwhelmed by Wo Fat's capture/escape from prison and Kono heading off with her boyfriend in the finale.
Will We Watch It? Probably. We still like to like the relationship between Steve and Danny, but we want some answers.

Undercover Boss
Returns: Friday, September 27 at 8 PM ET on CBS
What to Expect: More upper management types working on the ground floor, experiencing how the other half (the half they often don't pay nearly enough) lives. Hopefully, more of those said undercover bosses helping out their deserving employees who truly need it.
Will We Watch It? Yep! Undercover Boss is one of the very few reality shows that actually serves a good purpose. Who doesn't want their boss to be on this? (Er, except us, of course.)

Blue Bloods
Returns: Friday, September 27 at 10 PM ET on CBS
What to Expect: Some new blood, with the addition of Bebe Neuwirth as the new Inspector General overseeing Frank's department. Plus, more of those famous Blue Bloods dinner scenes and inevitably just as much drama from the Los Lordes gang takedown.
Will We Watch It? Not until Donnie Wahlberg gets the New Kids on the Block to appear on the show.

The Amazing Race
Returns: September 29 at 8 PM on CBS
What to Expect: Teams of two racing around the world to win a million dollars. Nothing really new here.
Will We Watch It? Yes. So long as football overruns don't mess up our Sunday night viewing too much.

Once Upon a Time
Returns: September 29 at 8 PM on ABC
What to Expect: The magical land of Storybrooke may not be so magical after all. Plus, Ariel!
Will We Watch It? Yup. It's fairy-tales with a soapy twist, so we're willing to overlook the mediocre special effects.

The Good Wife
Returns: September 29 at 9 PM on CBS
What to Expect: Will Alicia choose her husband or her hot boyfriend? Or will her taking leave of Lockhart/Gardner to join forces with Cary mess up her personal life even more?
Will We Watch It? As long as Kalinda's husband doesn't return from the presumed dead, we're game.

Homeland
Returns: September 29 at 9 PM on Showtime
What to Expect: The finale ended with everything in a mess, with Brody taking off on the lam, his family in shambles, Carrie helping him escape and a whole bunch of CIA employees becoming casualties in a bombing.
Will We Watch It? Even though the first two episodes are sans Brody, we're excited to see where this often wrenching drama takes us next.

Revenge
Returns: Sunday, September 29 at 9 PM ET on ABC
What to Expect: Hopefully the writers will shake off their sophomore slump season and give us the goods again. And from the sounds of things, we'll be getting more sexy sex and more shockers (Emily gets shot…twice?!) from the soap.
Will We Watch It? As disappointed as we were in Season 2, we're willing to give this another shot (oof, sorry, Ems).

The Mentalist
Returns: Sunday, September 29 at 10 PM ET on CBS
What to Expect: At long last, we'll (supposedly) learn the identity of Red John as Patrick Jane will nab him this season. He'd better do it quickly, though, as the red menace has a list of people he's promising to knock off one by one.
Will We Watch It? Yeah, we need to know who Red John is just as much as Patrick Jane does.

The Simpsons
Returns: Sunday, September 29 at 8 PM ET on Fox
What to Expect: More guest stars to roll through Springfield during the show's landmark 25th (!!!) season, including the likes of Daniel Radcliffe, Kristen Wiig, Anderson Cooper, Elisabeth Moss and Zach Galifianakis, among many others. Plus, the premiere episode is called "Homerland", so perhaps some hilarious potshots at the acclaimed Showtime series will kick things off.
Will We Watch It?

Yeah, we're of the camp that believes The Simpsons is a shadow of its formerly brilliant self, but we still love those Springfield residents too much to give up that it can get back to greatness.

Bob's Burgers
Returns: Sunday, September 29 at 8:30 PM ET on Fox
What to Expect: More deliriously weird adventures from the Belcher family and their continually struggling burger business. Maybe Bob will get the best of Jimmy Pesto, maybe Tina will snag a boyfriend, whatever happens, it will undoubtedly be hilarious.
Will We Watch It? Yep! This is one of the funniest shows on television and the animated series' recent Emmy nomination is a testament to that.

Family Guy
Returns: Sunday, September 29 at 9PM ET on Fox
What to Expect: More offensive jokes and more repeated (and repeated and repeated) gags from the boorish Peter Griffin and Co. However, there are some pretty awesome guest spots this season, including Bryan Cranston, Peter Dinklage, Conan O'Brien, the late Dennis Farina and, oh yeah, the cast of The Simpsons.
Will We Watch It? Pass. We kinda had our fill of Seth MacFarlane's schtick during the Oscars. That said, we'll definitely tune in for Farina's episode and out of sheer curiosity, The Simpsons crossover.

American Dad
Returns: Sunday, September 29 at 9:30 PM ET at 9:30 PM ET on Fox
What to Expect: The Simpsons and Family Guy aren't the only shows to snag some big name guest stars. This, the tenth season of American Dad will feature the voices of Mariah Carey, Zooey Deschanel, Alison Brie, Olivia Wilde, and more.
Will We Watch It? Like with Family Guy, only when there's particularly cool guests on.

Eastbound & Down
Returns: Sunday, September 29 at 10 PM on HBO
What to Expect: That Kenny Powers is going to go out in a blaze of foul-mouthed glory, as Ken Marino and Tim Heidecker join on for the final stretch. Oh, and Lindsay Lohan will be guest starring on the cult comedy, too.
Will We Watch It? This is the show's final season, so we've gotta savor every moment with Kenny Powers while we can.

The Vampire Diaries
Returns: October 3 at 8 PM on The CW
What to Expect: We'd be upset that people died in the finale, but with this show that could be temporary. One thing's for sure, Klaus and his family have headed off to their own show, so unless that gets cancelled, we're done with the Original nonsense for a while.
Will We Watch It? Yeah. Though not as enthusiastically as in years past.

Scandal
Returns: October 3 at 10 PM on ABC
What to Expect: Olivia Pope's father outed her relationship with the president to the press, so that really can't go well at all.
Will We Watch It? Hell yes! This show improved by leaps and bounds last year and has become must-see TV for us.

Hart of Dixie
Returns: October 7 at 8 PM on The CW
What to Expect: Zoe took off for New York, but she'll obviously be back in Bluebell along with some other new faces and her indecision about a relationship with either George or Wade.
Will We Watch It? It's one of our guilty pleasures and we love the impractical outfits that both Zoe and Lemon wear, so yeah, we'll keep watching.

Beauty and the Beast
Returns: October 7 at 9 PM on The CW
What to Expect: In the sophomore season, Cat and Vincent will still have to keep their relationship under wraps and it is more than likely that Cat will still be mostly terrible at her job. There's also some nonsense about Muirfield, but we only tune in for the pretty people.
Will We Watch It? Sporadically, like we did the first season.

The Biggest Loser
Returns: October 8 at 8 PM on NBC
What to Expect: More overweight people losing weight, of course. But now the show is only an hour and as an added bonus, Ruben Studdard (Idol winner) will be getting his butt kicked as a contestant this season.
Will We Watch It?Yes. We've been hoping for years that the show would get shortened, and we never imagined a scenario where we'd get Jillian screaming at Ruben.

Supernatural
Returns: Tuesday, October 8 at 9 PM ET on The CW
What to Expect: Season 9 is either going to be heaven or hell, quite literally. In last season's finale, Sam and Dean stopped the trials to close the gates of hell after they realized it would kill Sam (meaning they stopped short of completely curing Crowley from being a demon, though he definitely isn't the same King of Hell anymore). While Sam didn't die, he's not in such great shape after coming close to finishing the third and final trial. Meanwhile, Metatron betrayed everyone and stole Castiel's grace (making him a human) as the third trial to force all the angels out of heaven. The episode ended with an epic -- and foreboding -- shot of every angel descending from those very heavens.
Will We Watch It? We've stuck it out this long with the Winchester boys, why stop now?

The Walking Dead
Returns: Sunday, October at 9 PM ET on AMC
What to Expect: More zombies! The Grimes gang is going to have to work overtime on keeping those rascally walkers that just seem to keep relentlessly coming in droves out of the prison walls in Season 4. Now, how much of the comics make it into the show this year is what will really keep us on our toes.
Will We Watch It? Of course. There isn't a better – or bloodier—show to hate watch.

Arrow
Returns: Wednesday, October 9 at 8 PM ET on The CW
What to Expect: More shirtless Stephen Amell, please! In addition to that, how his character Oliver will be affected by Tommy's death and the aftermath of the earthquake destruction of The Glades. And most importantly to DC Comics fans, the introduction of The Flash to the Arrow-verse.
Will We Watch It? Yes, and not just because of the shirtless to non-shirtless Stephen Amell ratio.

The Carrie Diaries
Returns: October 25 at 8 PM on The CW
What to Expect: Carrie got to have her summer in the city and hopefully that's convinced her to dump her suburban needy boyfriend and just enjoy her life at Interview. We're hoping that the appearance of Samantha will help in this matter.
Will We Watch It? Occasionally. We have a hard time mustering enthusiasm about Carrie Bradshaw's family life, or about people we know don't matter long-term.

Grimm
Returns: Friday, October 25 at 9 PM on NBC
What to Expect: Finding out the fate of Nick who fell into a zombified coma after his confrontation with the Baron Samedi. And, presumably, more of those mythical and fairy tale-inspired twists and turns on the supernatural series.
Will We Watch It? With two fairy tale shows out there to keep up with (Once Upon a Time being the other, of course), the chances are pretty grim (forgive us) we'll be keeping up with this one. Especially since it's staying on Friday nights.

Treme
Returns: Sunday, December 1 at 9 PM ET on HBO
What to Expect: This will mark the last season for the drama, and it will be a shortened one, at that. Of course, if you have watched any David Simon series, you know it's probably best to expect the unexpected.
Will We Watch It? Yes, if only to give this show a proper New Orleans send-off.

Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition
Returns: Tuesday, September 3 at 9 PM ET on Lifetime
What to Expect: Lots of grating screeching from the likes of abrasive dance instructor Abby (she of the equally morally questionable Dance Moms), the parents of dancing tots, and said dancing tots, who competing for $100,000 and a full dance scholarship.
Will We Watch It? Oh, pliés. Not a chance will we watch another season of the insufferable Abby berate a new group of kids.

The League
Returns: September 4 at 10:30 PM on FXX
What to Expect: Where do you go after a brown note? Back to fantasy football? We guess?
Will We Watch It? The show may be on a new network, but honestly, we'll watch these idiots do pretty much anything wherever they may be.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Returns: Wednesday, September 4 at 10 PM on FXX
What to Expect: A new network, for starters. Well, sort of. Sunny, along with The League andTotally Biased (among others) are moving to FX's spin-off channel FXX this season. But even with a "new" network, you can pretty much expect the same outrageous, rude, un-PC, and downright hilarious hijinks from the Paddy's Pub gang.
Will We Watch It? Does a rum ham float in water? (Yes).

Returning Shows part 2

Boardwalk Empire
Returns: Sunday, September 8 at 9PM ET on HBO
What to Expect: Finding out what's next for Nucky in the year 1924, now that he's back on top after the battle in the Season 3 finale. Will he still rule over Atlantic City or will he fade and into the background and run the show in the shadows?
Will We Watch It? It doesn't have quite the same pull as other HBO masterpieces like The Sopranos, but it's still become appointment television on Sunday nights.

Sons of Anarchy
Returns: Tuesday, September 10 at 10 PM on Fox
What to Expect: More Kurt Sutter-y goodness, no doubt. Hopefully we'll find out if Gemma was the one who snitched, thus sending Tara to prison. Speaking of prison, we'll see how things are panning out for Clay in the clink (presumably not very well). Plus, perhaps we'll see who Jax has chosen as a new VP and Sergeant-at-Arms now that Bobby is out.
Will We Watch It? We'll be there faster than an outlaw on a motorcycle.

The X Factor
Returns: September 11 at 8 PM on Fox
What to Expect: Demi and Simon are still on the panel doing their flirt/fighting, and they are joined by Kelly Rowland and Paulina Rubio. We doubt that either of these new ladies will be as goofily entertaining as Britney (or be able to make her odd facial expressions), so we're bummed about that.
Will We Watch It? Not really. We may check in on occasion, but with all the singing competitions we're finding this melody a little stale.

Dancing With the Stars
Returns: September 16 at 8 PM on ABC
What to Expect: They've gotten rid of that pesky recap-filled Tuesday night hour, so the eliminations will have to happen on Monday nights. Hard to say if they'll do the ousting at the beginning of the episode, or at the end. So You Think You Can Dance has tried it both ways with varying results.
Will We Watch It? Yes. We're curious to see how this works out, but if we make it to the end of the season completely depends on the celebrities competing.

Bones
Returns: Monday, September 16 at 8 PM ET on Fox
What to Expect: With that evil Pelant still running amok and throwing some major wrenches in Bones and Booth's wedding plans, plenty more heartbreaking drama and high-stakes, emotional maneuvers to end this baddies' reign of terror in Season 9. Plus, there's the addition of Freddie Prinze Jr. to the cast as Booth's pal to look forward to. It's a '90s teen heartthrobpalooza!
Will We Watch It? Make no bones about it. (Sorry).

New Girl
Returns: September 17 at 9 PM on Fox
What to Expect: We're guessing there will be a lot more to do with Nick and Jess's relationship, that Schmidt will have to pick between his two lovely ladies and perhaps Winston will get to do something. Also, Damon Wayans Jr. will reprise his role and that slightly eases the pain of theHappy Endings axing.
Will We Watch It? 100%

The Mindy Project
Returns: September 17 at 9:30 PM on Fox
What to Expect: Mindy will have returned from Haiti, and given that it's been announced that Timothy Olyphant will be guesting as a love interest, this doesn't bode well for Anders Holms sweet pastor. Adam Pally, Glenn Howerton and James Franco will also be appearing.
Will We Watch It? We are giving it two more episodes, even though we hate Morgan, mostly because we're curious to see if they fixed the multitude of problems from Season 1.

Survivor
Returns: September 18 at 8 PM on CBS
What to Expect: They found a new way to bring back the likes of Rupert (again) by adding a family twist, where each alum has a family member with them.
Will We Watch It? Yeah. We're curious to see if this twist pays off.

Last Man Standing
Returns: Friday, September 20 at 8 PM ET on ABC
What to Expect: More male-driven humor about a middle class family man. Oh, and some grunting. Wait, maybe we're getting our Tim Allen comedies mixed up. That said, the comedy is keeping in line with their ability to get big draw guest stars in the season premiere. Last year it was Allen's Home Improvementco-star Jonathan Taylor Thomas and this year it'll be the guys fromDuck Dynasty.
Will We Watch It? Friday night is where most shows get put out to pasture, so we're not going to waste our time. Well, that reason, and because it's not good.

The Neighbors
Returns: Friday, September 20 at 8:30 PM ET on ABC
What to Expect: Perhaps an audience? The premise of the show seemed so bad, but it turned out to be a surprisingly good, quirky little comedy about alien life. Hopefully more nerd-friendly cameos by the likes of George Takei will help keep it afloat.
Will We Watch It? Initially we weren't going to out of solidarity for the wrongly-canceled Happy Endings, but this weird little gem shouldn't be punished for that.

Shark Tank
Returns: Friday, September 20 at 9 PM ET on ABC
What to Expect: More aspiring entrepreneurs and the potential investors willing to make their reality television-bolstered dreams come true. Still, sadly, no real sharks.
Will We Watch It? Shark Tank has always been, and remains, one of those shows that you'll watch if it's on, but you don't go out of your way to DVR it.

Castle
Returns: September 23 at 10 PM on ABC
What to Expect: More angst between Castle and Kate now that she's got her dream job offer out of town. Seems like this shouldn't be as complicated as they are making it, given his extraordinary wealth, he could easily hop on a commuter shuttle constantly and/or move down there to write while she's working.
Will We Watch It? Yeah. They've successfully managed to bridge the gap from flirtation to actual dating, so we're curious to see how it all pans out.

How I Met Your Mother
Returns: September 23 at 8 PM on CBS
What to Expect: It's the final season, we've finally got a glimpse of the mother and they've got to wrap up a lot of unanswered questions.
Will We Watch It? We've stuck with this increasingly idiotic show for this long, we've got to see it through.

2 Broke Girls
Returns: September 23 at 9 PM on CBS
What to Expect: The titular girls found a never-before-noticed room in the diner that is just perfect for their second attempt at a cupcake shop in the season finale, so that will likely be the thrust of the fall.
Will We Watch It? Probably not. Much as we like Kat Dennings, this show is slowly eating away at us like a parasite.

The Voice
Returns: September 23 at 8 PM on NBC
What to Expect: The original flavor judges are back for the fall season, so we presume that Cee Lo will have a new ridiculous pet and Xtina will have her boobs out and a bizarre new fashion accessory that she'll wear to death.
Will We Watch It? Yeah, though we find ourselves already wishing for Usher's return.

Person of Interest
Returns: Tuesday, September 24 at 10 PM on CBS
What to Expect: From the sound of things at Comic-Con, more sci-fi elements. Now that we know that the Machine can think for itself (as evident by its self-reboot), we can only imagine that it will keep putting Reese, Root, and Finch to task this season as well. There's also the matter of an on-the-run Carter (Taraji P. Henson) and her status/whereabouts.
Will We Watch It? Sure. Things are starting to get much more interesting now, thanks to the Machine reveal.

Chicago Fire
Returns: Tuesday, September 24 at 10 PM on CBS
What to Expect: Drama, more drama and babies galore. The Season 1 finale revealed that Renee and Severide would be having a kid together, right as Hermann and his wife were welcoming their own bundle of joy. In case that wasn't enough, there was the harrowing prison fire, which the characters will be dealing with in Season 2.
Will We Watch It? Maybe. Hot cast members aside, we've sort of cooled off on this one.

The Middle
Returns: Wednesday, September 25 at 8 PM ET
What to Expect: More off-beat shenanigans from the Heck clan, especially now that Axl has graduated from high school and is heading off to college (something that Frankie didn't take very well to in the season finale), Brick will be moving on to middle school and Sue passed her driver's test. Perhaps a road trip to Axl's college with the Heck clan for the Season 5 opener?
Will We Watch It? Definitely. The Middle is an underrated gem that continues to thrive in the family sitcom landscape, while others have lost their footing. (Ahem, Modern Family.)

Criminal Minds
Returns: Wednesday, September 25 at 9 PM ET on CBS
What to Expect: Well, the team without Erin Strauss, that's what. While we'll have to adjust to a show without actress Jayne Atkinson, there's no word yet on whether or not we'll see more of the BAU stalker The Replicator (guest star Mark Hamill). While it's a safe bet he's dead, as Hamill mused on Twitter, "I'm unconvinced! Where's the body? You got it see you next season!!"
Will We Watch It? Only if the gang investigates the hilariously embarrassing catfish-ing that happened to one of their own.

CSI
Returns: Wednesday, September 25 at 10 PM ET on CBS
What to Expect: Last season was not a good one for the daughters of CSI, as both the fate of Morgan (Conrad's daughter) and Ellie (Brass' estranged daughter) are unknown at the ends of a gruesome serial killer (played by guest star Tim Matheson).
Will We Watch It? Now entering its 15th (!!) season, it's pretty safe to say we've had our fill of this popular procedural. Only so many kidnapped daughter plots you can watch, you know?

Revolution
Returns: Wednesday, September 25 at 8 PM ET on NBC
What to Expect: A much more brighter Revolution now that the power is back on, presumably. Then again, while it may be less dark looking, its disposition could be just as gloomy thanks to Randall and Nora winding up, you know, dead.
Will We Watch It? Despite all the show's ups and downs, we're still curious to see how this thing pans out, especially if the President returns from Cuba, where he's been in exile.

Law & Order: SVU
Returns: Wednesday, September 25 at 9 PM ET on NBC
What to Expect: More Mariska! Those sneaky petes in the SVU writers room lead us to believe their our beloved Olivia Benson had been shot and killed by rapist/murderer William “Burnt Fingertips” Lewis (Pablo Schreiber). Alas, Hargitay settled all our fears when she tweeted that she would be returning for Season 15.
Will We Watch It? What, and miss the sweet sound of that iconic "ka chung" noise?

Modern Family
Returns: September 25 at 9 PM on ABC
What to Expect: Adam DeVine is joining as a nanny for baby Joe and the rest of the family will have to deal with the new guy making changes.
Will We Watch It? Reluctantly. We're holding out hope it will return to its former glory.

Nashville
Returns: September 25 at 10 PM on ABC
What to Expect: Considering the finale ended on the worst note possible, with Jolene killing Dante, Rayna and Deacon falling apart after the paternity secrets get revealed, Deacon drinking, a huge car crash, Peggy being pregnant and so many other soapy things.
Will We Watch It? Yes. This show hit its stride towards the end of the season and even though we despise some of the characters, we're anxious to see how it all plays out.

Grey's Anatomy
Returns: September 26 at 9 PM on ABC
What to Expect: When we left the hospital, we were in throes of a major storm with Richard laying seemingly dead on the ground, Callie finding out that Arizona cheated on her and Meredith giving birth.
Will We Watch It? Yes. Not because of the aforementioned chaos, but because its Sandra Oh's final season.

The Big Bang Theory
Returns: September 26 at 8 PM on CBS
What to Expect: Raj can talk to women now, and not just when he's drunk. Penny and Leonard will have to reconnect after his trip after he was away for work for four months.
Will We Watch It? Mostly. Knowing that the show is in syndication and seems to be on all the time makes watching the new episodes seem a lot less urgent.

Right

Parks and Recreation
Returns: September 26 at 8 PM on NBC
What to Expect: Rashida Jones and Rob Lowe are exiting the show halfway through the season, so Leslie will be on her own without Ann. But first, a trip to London for some of the Pawnee gang.
Will We Watch It? Yes. One of our favorite comedies. We won't miss it.

Glee
Returns: September 26 at 9 PM on Fox
What to Expect: The show has had to cope with the recent death of Cory Monteith and working that into the storyline, as well as dealing with the ever growing and changing crew of characters that we barely care about.
Will We Watch It? The Cory tribute episode, yes. The rest of the season will be viewed on fast-forward.

Elementary
Returns: Thursday, September 26 at 10 PM ET
What to Expect: Now that Sherlock has discovered that his lady love Irene Adler had really been his foe Moriarty all along, we imagine he'll need some mending in Season 2. Hmm, we wonder who could really put him back together?
Will We Watch It? Season 1 was a fun, smart, and surprisingly deep surprise. We'll be watching, darling.

http://www.televisionwith...ing-shows/

There's a lot there, geesh.

Almost Human

Ironside (I didn't know) A big ole A definite.

Michael J. Fox has been on my mind lately but I didn't know he was coming out with a show. I might look once or twice.

I've been tempted by The Originals even though I don't watch the show it spinning off of ( I temporarily forgot the name).

Dracula, how are they going to make a long term series out of that?

The Middle, maybe.

Definitely coming back for Scandal.

And I'm sticking with Grey's Anatomy til the end. It's coming soon isn't it?

I'm sure there's more, I'll see later.

The only new show I'm looking forward to seeing is Blacklist. I adore James Spader.

The only new show I'm excited about is Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I may end up watching Michael J. Fox and The Blacklist, but otherwise all the other shows look dull, boring, or rehashed. I predict Dads will be the first show cancelled this season followed by Sean Saves The World, but then again as bad as that show looks, what does NBC have to replace it?

728huey said:

The only new show I'm excited about is Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I may end up watching Michael J. Fox and The Blacklist, but otherwise all the other shows look dull, boring, or rehashed. I predict Dads will be the first show cancelled this season followed by Sean Saves The World, but then again as bad as that show looks, what does NBC have to replace it?

I say we do a pool thread on the first to get cancelled shows. That'll probably be more interesting than the shows themselves.

Im gonna give Dads a couple of tries cause it has a stellar cast in play. I know its gotten shit from every critic out there but what does one expect from Seth McFarland?

AGENTS......oh you had me at Joss Wheadon.

Ill always give MjF a try, love him.

Ill also give The Crazy Ones a chance but if they cant harness Robin Williams, whos over the top frenziness turns me off, Ill drop that even if it does have Buffy.

The blacklist looks like a good Silence of the Lambs TV spin off.

New Girl and Boardwalk Empire! I should try Sons of Anarchy and The Walking Dead.

Looking forward to all the sci-fi theme shows coming out. Looking forward to that Simpsons/Family Guy crossover episode.

morningsong said:

Dracula, how are they going to make a long term series out of that?

Dracula is a limited series. One 13 episode season with no plans for a second. Midseason a pirate show called Crossbones is taking it's place.

New shows I'm willing to check out:

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: It'll be interesting to see just how Andre Braugher will do in a comedy as opposed to his heavy drama like past roles.

Sleey Hollow: Orlando Jones? Say whaaaa???? I have to see how he'll do.

The Blacklist: James Spader? Enough said.

Shows returning that are a must see (I accept absolutely NO phone calls while these shows are on):

Scandal: Already have it on my reminders app on my phone. Aside from the juicy plot and watching the sophisticated Kerry Washington do her job...tuning in every week to see the all so sexy Tony Goldwyn and cutie Scott Foley are additonal pluses. :crush:

Boardwalk Empire: Richard Harrow alone keeps me tuned into this show. It'll be interesting to see how Jeffrey Wright will fit right into this mold. Is he going to be the villian this season? Can't wait to see what Chalky and Nucky are going to do next.

The Walking Dead: No explanation needed.

Boardwalk Empire

Homeland

The Walking Dead

American Horror Story

Archer

The Boondocks (one can only hope)

Community (Harmon's back!)

Parks and Rec (Rob and Rashida are leaving, but as long as I still have Ron ("I know what I'm about, son") Swanson I'm set)

I'd usually put Family Guy on this list, but I think they've Jumped The Homer.

I will really miss Clone Wars.

I don't understand how formatting works on this forum, but here's my picks.

Mondays

Castle
Hostages
Sleepy Hollow

Tuesdays

The Originals
New Girl
The Mindy Project
Sons of Anarchy

Wednesdays

Nashville
Revolution
Survivor: Blood vs Water
American Horror Story: Coven
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Thursdays

Grey's Anatomy
Scandal
The Vampire Diaries
The Big Bang Theory
The Crazy Ones
Parks & Recreation
Sean Saves The World (because of Linda Lavin)
The Michael J Fox Show
Parenthood
Glee

Fridays

The Neighbors
Grimm
Dracula
The Carrie Diaries

Sundays

Revenge
The Good Wife
The Simpsons
Bob's Burgers
Family Guy
American Dad
The Walking Dead
Boardwalk Empire
Witches of East End
Homeland

Masters of Sex

Hudson said:

morningsong said:

Dracula, how are they going to make a long term series out of that?

Dracula is a limited series. One 13 episode season with no plans for a second. Midseason a pirate show called Crossbones is taking it's place.

Maybe

Hudson, this is great work you've done here. It is so much easier to read it the way you've presented it here than it is on the TWOP site. Must've been a lot of work on your part; thanks for doing it.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is the one I'm most excited about, but I'll give a couple others a chance based on their reviews. Moms could be fun.

Black actors..............still mostly UNEMPLOYED.

Efan said:

Hudson, this is great work you've done here. It is so much easier to read it the way you've presented it here than it is on the TWOP site. Must've been a lot of work on your part; thanks for doing it.

You can just copy and paste images onto the org you don't have to look up the location and then embed so it was easy.

Graycap23 said:

Black actors..............still mostly UNEMPLOYED.

Well, David Simon can't produce everything.

SPEAKING OF, HOW COULD I FORGET . . .

Treme . . . a criminally underappreciated show, with complex, layered characters. It doesn't have to take a backseat to anyone, but maybe 37 people outside of New Orleans have watched it. So glad I started watching in S2.

[Edited 8/29/13 17:23pm]

Hudson said:

morningsong said:

Dracula, how are they going to make a long term series out of that?

Dracula is a limited series. One 13 episode season with no plans for a second. Midseason a pirate show called Crossbones is taking it's place.

Kinda wierd that NBC is releasing a limited series for the fall and not for the summer. Honestly if done right, and a good writing staff, Dracula could be a hit.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is the only new show I plan on watching.

Returning shows: Boardwalk Empire and Bones. One day I'll catch up with Sons of Anarchy. I don't like being tied down by too many TV series.

namepeace said:

Some thoughts on the new shows...


Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Will be interesting to see Brougher in a Comedy. I can actually see it working quite well opposite Samberg.


Sleepy Hollow: Nicole Baharie's in it. Enough to make me tune in for the pilot at least.


Hostages: Hokie premise, but I may give it a try for Toni Collette.


S.H.I.E.L.D.: Joss Whedon? Check. Possible superheroes? Check. Gorgeous, kick-butt women? Check. The show's got all the right ingredients. I'll give it a try. I hope, though, that the story arc is a bit faster moving than Dollhouse, which died, I think, largely because Whedon insisted on a slow-as-molasses pace.


The Goldbergs: Sounds kinda Wonder Years-y to me. That's cool. But it's been done. I may catch a episode or two of this show, but I won't break my neck to do so.


The Michael J. Fox Show: This kind of sensitive subject matter from such a beloved '80s star will make for a project that will either soar or die a fiery, conspicuous death. I may check it out and wish for the best.


The Tomorrow People: I was a huge fan of this British series when I was a kid, but I'm very dissapointed at what looks to be a rather ethnically homogenous crew (save one visible minority ). Part of the original show's appeal was its sense of inclusivity amid genetic exclusivity. I'll tune in if/when they revisit that and get a few more black and brown stars among their lead ensemble.


Dracula: Maybe.


Almost Human: I may tune in to look at Ealy, but I have a sinking feeling this show will be awful.

[Edited 8/31/13 8:24am]

Lammastide said:

Some thoughts on the new shows...


Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Will be interesting to see Brougher in a Comedy. I can actually see it working quite well opposite Samberg

Reading more about Brooklyn Nine-Nine has made me a lot more interested in it. Braugher's character is gay, which I'm pleased by.

Efan said:

Lammastide said:

Some thoughts on the new shows...


Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Will be interesting to see Brougher in a Comedy. I can actually see it working quite well opposite Samberg

Reading more about Brooklyn Nine-Nine has made me a lot more interested in it. Braugher's character is gay, which I'm pleased by.

You have GOT to be kidding! I'll definitely be watching.