I was talking to a friend of mine and she told me that she and her hubby are fighting because she admitted that she sometimes thinks about her partner from work (she is a cop) when she and the hubby are having sex. She says that she would never cheat, and I’ve known her long enough to believe that, but it doesn’t change the way her hubby feels.

Do you think it is wrong to think of someone else during, before, or after sex?

How would you feel if your partner admitted that they thought about someone else during sex?

Do you think there is a difference between thinking of someone else you know and thinking of a celebrity?

Have you ever pretended your partner was someone else without them ever knowing?

Discuss

I would be hurt if my partner admitted that. I would be less hurt if it was a celebrity, but I would still be pissed.

It is something completely different though if I tell him to do it as some kind of sexual fantasy we share, then I am fine with it.

I don't do it, because I think it's not honest towards the person I am having sex with. I would only do it if my partner would want me to do it.

^^ But I have exteremely high standards who I have sex with and what I expect from a partner, so for others it might be different. I expect my partner to see me as his most important and special person on this planet he will ever meet in his life .

Oh yes, it's very hurtful, however, it's something I would never admit to my partner. The only time I thought about someone else during sex was with my last boyfriend and it was because he thought he was hot shit in bed when he was boring as hell. He started irritating me in other ways outside the bedroom too, so all of that contributed to how I felt. I came to realize that after awhile, I had fallen out of love and didn't even like him anymore. So I guess it depends.

I think it's tactless to admit it, but you can't help if you like them, I've had that problem too

Weeeeelll, this is a touchy subject.

If I had a man, and he was thinking of someone else (like a coworker or mutual friend), yes I would be extremely hurt and I'd probably throw him out of the bed.

A celebrity...I'd still be hurt but not as offended. I'm sure it happens to everyone from time to time, but hopefully it's not a regular occurance.

Either way, if either partner does that, it means they're getting bored (usually). I think if one of them admits that, maybe they should talk it out or seek counselling from a sex therapist.

hahaha good response!!!

ZombieKitten said:

Omg! I would NEVER want to know if he is thinking about someone else and likewise I would never tell him if I do!!! Actually no, once time he told me about a hot lady he saw at a kids party venue and I told him to pretend I was her it was kinda hot

Why would she tell her husband something like that? Dayum! That's extremely insensitive. If I fantasized about someone else, I certainly would not admit it.

I would never want to know, because I already know I'd be hurt by it . I, myself, wouldn't even care to think about a celebrity either [or anybody else during sex], because I really don't trust celebrities @ all & I'm happy to be having sex with the woman I'm with . For my woman to tell me that she thinks about a person she actually has easy access to though, would hurt like hell....I'd be devastated.

[Edited 9/3/12 2:13am]

Shyra said:

Why would she tell her husband something like that? Dayum! That's extremely insensitive. If I fantasized about someone else, I certainly would not admit it.

Exactly. Why tell? And when would you tell? Over cereal?

Totally bizzare.

Thinking about someone else during sex = LAME

I don't think it's wrong to think about other people during sex if the person is someone you would never have a shot being with. Like a celebrity or some hot person you saw at the store. But you don't tell your partner. Keep it to yourself. I think if you're thinking about someone you know, then it gets a little fucked up. Why are you thinking about that person? I find it hard to believe that a line wouldn't be crossed if an opportunity became available, as I'm sure my partner would as well. And if you're thinking about someone else every time you have sex with your partner then the writing might be on the wall for your relationship. Occasional fantasy=ok, Nightly fantasy=you're bored and it's time to move on.

Could never think of someone else...I enjoy focusing on the woman I'm with way too much ...the lights are on for a reason lol

If I need to think about someone else.... then I don't need to be fucking a person I am fucking.

I'm out, ya bore me.

If he needs to think about someone else... its ova... go fuck her. I do not care who she is.

Its one thing to fantasize about someone else in a daydream, but while I am getting sweatty and funky and putting in work?? Naw, you need to attach those sensations, tastes and smells to the actual person they belong to.

If I am choking on your dick, then you better not be thinking of anyone one else but me dammit. I deserve that consideration while you drop your load in me.

Shhhiiieeeeetttttttt I wish a muthafucka would!

How about just keeping your thoughts to yourself?

LadyCasanova said:

Do you think it is wrong to think of someone else during, before, or after sex?

So wait...you mean AFTER the comatose state of unconsciousness???

PurpleJedi said:

LadyCasanova said:

Do you think it is wrong to think of someone else during, before, or after sex?

So wait...you mean AFTER the comatose state of unconsciousness???

lol

Tittypants said:

I would never want to know, because I already know I'd be hurt by it . I, myself, wouldn't even care to think about a celebrity either [or anybody else during sex], because I've really don't trust celebrities @ all & I'm happy to be having sex with the woman I'm with . For my woman to tell me that she thinks about a person she actually has easy access to though, would hurt like hell....I'd be devastated.

[Edited 9/2/12 15:25pm]

Yea, you never know when one of them are going to try and stick their finger up your butt during sex

Shyra said:

Why would she tell her husband something like that? Dayum! That's extremely insensitive. If I fantasized about someone else, I certainly would not admit it.

I don't know, they were having one of those "truth" conversations where they are supposed

to be able to ask/tell each other things without the other person passing judgement and he asked.

ZombieKitten said:

Omg! I would NEVER want to know if he is thinking about someone else and likewise I would never tell him if I do!!! Actually no, once time he told me about a hot lady he saw at a kids party venue and I told him to pretend I was her it was kinda hot

You are just too sexy

Me and the ex did a similar thing over a Danica Patrick fantasy

PurpleMusiq8 said:

How about just keeping your thoughts to yourself?

This x 1,546,357,423,235,908,764

Or... she sounds like she's looking for an "excuse".

JoeTyler said:

Thinking about someone else during sex = LAME

that means you only think of yourself???

Don't some people role play? That's prentending to be someone else but still be you. Like say your girl plays the part of a striper, naughty nurse etc.

I would think if you think of someone else that the sex might not be good or maybe the sex is getting old?

LadyCasanova said:

Tittypants said:

I would never want to know, because I already know I'd be hurt by it . I, myself, wouldn't even care to think about a celebrity either [or anybody else during sex], because I really don't trust celebrities @ all & I'm happy to be having sex with the woman I'm with . For my woman to tell me that she thinks about a person she actually has easy access to though, would hurt like hell....I'd be devastated.

[Edited 9/2/12 15:25pm]

Yea, you never know when one of them are going to try and stick their finger up your butt during sex

Had to correct that grammatical error . I just don't imagine being with no one else but the woman I'm with during sex. Who's to say those stuck up celebrity hoes women would be all that in the sack anyway?

KingBAD said:

JoeTyler said:

Thinking about someone else during sex = LAME

that means you only think of yourself???

I learned from Dr. Toni many years ago that too much honesty can lead to some very damaging situations. At this point I'm going to agree with her. Thinking about somebody else during sex, it happens but there's a line when it gets to be a bad sign, like thininking about someone else most of the time obviously isn't good.

This is something everyone does. But you don't admit it. And even if in you're at a place in your relationship that you can admit it, you should never, under any circumstances, reveal who it is you're thinking about, especially it's someone you have a professional or personal relationship with outside of your relationship.

what an effin' idiot.

morningsong said:

I learned from Dr. Toni many years ago that too much honesty can lead to some very damaging situations. At this point I'm going to agree with her. Thinking about somebody else during sex, it happens but there's a line when it gets to be a bad sign, like thininking about someone else most of the time obviously isn't good.

Exactly. Sometimes, silence is very necessary. Your partner doesn't need to know every single thought in your brain. Hell, even family and friends don't need to know every single thought in your brain.

I have only 'cause the sex was THAT bad and it was one way to get it over with, along with faking an orgasm. And I flushed his ass a looooong time ago.

I save those thoughts for my masturbation time so I get the best of all worlds without having to deal with guilt..