JoeTyler said:

dJJ said:

That sounds as if you rely your judgement from what you've seen in porn movies.

Girls and boys copy behavior if they think 'that's the way I should behave'. So, girls will give you the whole show with screams, moans and other Hollywood worthy moves.

If you interpret that as prove that you are pleasing her, you might want to watch this scene again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-bsf2x-aeE

I was like that when I was younger. Or when I'm wasn't really into it and I want the guy just to come, so at least I got over with it fast so I could leave.

Now I'm more in touch with my body. So, I sometimes can be wild, if that suits my mood. Or can be calm and wordless, because I'm enjoying myself, the moment, the atmosphere etc.

I've been very quite whilst having a great time and have been screaming and moaning while being very bored.

So, you might want to reconsider your conclusions about different behaviours.........

if you were like that when you were younger, then I'm sorry that you had to fake it to get through it as soon as possible...perhaps having sex that night with that somebody was a bad/rushed idea to begin with...and it's kinda sad that you think girls (and boys) copy the cliches they see in a porn movie, because I seriously think porn copied REAL life sex to begin with, not the other way around: people already screamed and said/did nasty things and similar stuff during sex since the caveman days...

my first post was about people staring at each other WITHOUT sayin' a word during the coitus/oral sex; as I've said before, that just creeps the fuck out of me to the point I lost all the excitement...

by screaming I didn't mean FAKE "wild" screams to encourage the male; more like what Serious said: screaming, moaning and sexy talk...

if I was making love and the sex partner was just there, semi-still, glancing at me and just being passive, I would automatically think that something's wrong...call me paranoid

cold/wordless sex is something that doesn't exist in my universe, or sex without an oral foreplay (what this thread is about, anyway)

I believe that some people are more quiet and not very outspoken during sex and still enjoy it. But I very much agree that I enjoy it a million times more when I can clearly see and hear how much my partner is overjoyed . In a way that is even more important to me than the actual act. It happened to me too that I lost all the excitement when my partner was too quiet. My boyfriend while he is a very sexual person was pretty quiet during sex in the beginning of our relationship and I taught him pretty quickly that I need to hear him more . He loves it that I am pretty loud in bed , so he has to understand that I enjoy that as well from my partner .

I spent a long time with someone believing that he couldn't do it properly. I knew the problem didn't lie with me because my previous partner was unbelievable. For years he didn't try because he believed I didn't like it - I don't know exactly what he was doing but it actually hurt so I always pushed him away. Then one day he stopped me from pushing me away and did it really well. Like mindblowingly well.
Wtf!

dJJ said:

Dave1992 said:

I also agree that giving oral sex includes a certain safe distance, which might be perceived as additional "control". But would you also agree that people only go down on each other because they have ego issues? :confused:

.

[Edited 7/7/12 10:15am]

I'm not sure what is meant with ego issues????

I think receiving a lickjob demands being able to allow yourself to surrender. And with that comes feeling vulnerable. If ego issue means fear of becoming to vulnerable and having to trust the other, than yes, I guess that could be an ego issue. However, I prefer the words vulnerable, being in control and surrender.

I was rather talking about the theory that men who like licking women have "ego issues", because they only lick women and want to make them come to be able to feel proud of themselves.

RicoN said:

if i had a fanny Dave i'd let you lick it

That's all I wanted to hear, man!

wavesofbliss said:

Dave1992 said:

I think it's cold and superficial that the joy people get from watching their sexual partner come stems from mere egoism. Plus, it's not just men that like to give pleasure to a woman; there are many women who like the feeling of giving pleasure to a man, regardless of their "ego"...

You're wrong about that "ego thing" you are referring to. Or would you also say parents buy their children toys because they have a problem with their egos? No, it's because it's human to want to make the people you care about happy. It's not an "ego thing", it's an "affection thing".

Well, if you were saying that it is more emotional for some than for other (which you clearly weren't)

yeah thats EXACTLY what i said and meant in my initial response. DERP

concerning egos in parental and all other relationships.... i can only suggest that you talk with wiser people or read basic psysch books. and yes i totally agree and understand what youre saying about the happiness of people you love- but that in no way negates the ego issues otherwise we'd all have conflict-free,happy relationships w/ everyone in our lives and that don't happen does it.

why are you makingit aq big deal? if she doesnt want you to go down on her then don't. THE END it never had to big deal. you asked her why, she anwserd you. you appear to not like the anwser you got.

Well, in your first post you were implying that there's something like a general rule that oral sex = not emotional and "proper sex" = emotional, which I simply didn't agree with...

If everything we do for each other in this world stems from ego issues, why would this then be relevant after all? It seemed like you were implying that there is a "better" way to lick a woman, or even a "better" way to show true affection (by simply not licking them at all), but now you are saying that every positive thought and every affection we might feel for other people is based on mere "ego issues". Alright then, sounds horrible, but if there's no way around it, why even discuss it? Isn't it better we do good things to each other because of "ego issues" than not do good things at all?

I am making a "big deal" out of it, because I am very interested in the human (and especially female) sexual psyche and because I care for this girl and because I would very much to show her that receiving oral sex can be wonderful (assuming her problem with it does stem from self-assuredness issues).

HuMpThAnG said:

Dave1992 said:

She also said that many guys have proudly said "they just haven't done it right, lemme try and you'll see!" and that it was just as bad as every time.

But the chance is still there that she was unfortunate enough to have men who didn't know what to do/how to react to certain "signs" only. We'll see.

You willing to take that chance & and be on the list of guys who "haven't done it right"?

Like I said, I may have licked many women to pleasure, but I am very much aware that it still wouldn't make me "better" or "worse" at licking or that this would make me a "better man" overall.

I am willing to take that chance because I am sure I would at least be very good at carrying out detailed orders. If she knows what exactly she wants, I am quite sure I would be able to provide it.

But just "go for it", "do my thing" and expect it will get her off? Nah, there's absolutely no guarantee for that and I'd never expect that.

paintedlady said:

Dave1992 said:

Is this for real or are you imago in disguise?

No disrespect here, but it really looks like you haven't read one single word from my original post describing my situation.

1. This has nothing to do with fake teeth. Her teeth are real and so is her pussy. My teeth are real too.

2. ...

3. Agreed (and I think we all agreed on that even before you posted it!).

The bold part is full of unnecessary weirdness and lecturing, especially if you've actually read my original post (where I clearly stated how I believed in the uniqueness of women; where I clearly stated that she actually does not like to have passive oral sex with anyone; where I clearly stated that I haven't even touched her yet.

Better learn to read! Sowwy...

I was generalizing as far as logistics are concerned during sex... not specifying your unique situation. Again..I was speaking in general to illustrate why people tend to not like oral sex/kissing/yadda yadda.

Some of us do not consider oral sex to be "passive"... I read that and that's besides the point.

BTW I can read so just fine.... your insults really do not help you or your situation. Hey, if it makes you feel better to talk shit then whatever. I don't have these problems.

Oh well, maybe she just doesn't want you sucking on her pussy... just live with that. No biggie.

No need to try to pick the girl apart over it.

You were first to insult and talk shit, but whatever.

You still do not seem to understand a single word I'm saying. Let's just leave it at that.

Cerebus said:

Did you ask her if somebody had ever told her she was riding the stink train? Seriously, I've known more than one woman who was VERY self-conscious about that because someone had told them they smelled at one time or another. Maybe she does smell.

I didn't ask her, but I got a nice little whiff of her pussy when we were in my car making out and touching and she got really wet and it was a perfectly "normal" smell, just the kind I love. It was not obtrusive at all; I am sure not many other people would have noticed - I have a very sensitive nose. But I'm sure she doesn't smell bad. Plus, everything about her just screams hygiene.

KoolEaze said:

Maybe some stud squirted his sperm into her pussy before you wanted to lick her and she felt a bit uncomfortable because you might have noticed it and she was too embarrassed to tell you about it or simply didn´t feel like telling you?

It´s not necessarily your fault and maybe she doesn´t have a problem with getting her pussy licked in a serious relationship but you said:" She's extremely sexual, gets horny VERY quickly and once she is horny it's VERY difficult to make her stop (she'd even do it in a restaurant). There's certainly no sexual energy missing."

With her being "so sexual" I´d never rule out the possibility that she´s been giving it to all them graffiti dudes just like Rose, if you catch my drift.

So maybe having some remaining cum in her pussy is what makes her feel a bit uncomfortable when you want to go downtown?

Then again, you said you fingerfucked her....so you would have noticed if she had a load in her but then again, things can be a bit tricky when the juices of passion blend inside. She was probably too worried about you noticing that she´d sex with someone else before.

If I were you, I´d straight up ask her whether THAT is the real problem.

Then again, maybe she just doesn´t like cunnilingus.

Oral sex is a bit overrated anyway.

I never got as close as "wanting to lick her". We were just talking about it randomly.

She didn't have sex for quite a while. I trust her on that. And you can trust my judgement.

She is very sexual, but she's also extremely proud and would never sleep with someone she doesn't really really care about.

I never said I finger-fucked her. I only said she likes it because she told me she does!

Nice theory anyway.

Your last bit sounds reasonable, though. The problem is, I just can't fucking believe a woman would not like to be licked!

Serious said:

KoolEaze said:

Maybe some stud squirted his sperm into her pussy before you wanted to lick her and she felt a bit uncomfortable because you might have noticed it and she was too embarrassed to tell you about it or simply didn´t feel like telling you?

It´s not necessarily your fault and maybe she doesn´t have a problem with getting her pussy licked in a serious relationship but you said:" She's extremely sexual, gets horny VERY quickly and once she is horny it's VERY difficult to make her stop (she'd even do it in a restaurant). There's certainly no sexual energy missing."

With her being "so sexual" I´d never rule out the possibility that she´s been giving it to all them graffiti dudes just like Rose, if you catch my drift.

So maybe having some remaining cum in her pussy is what makes her feel a bit uncomfortable when you want to go downtown?

Then again, you said you fingerfucked her....so you would have noticed if she had a load in her but then again, things can be a bit tricky when the juices of passion blend inside. She was probably too worried about you noticing that she´d sex with someone else before.

If I were you, I´d straight up ask her whether THAT is the real problem.

Then again, maybe she just doesn´t like cunnilingus.

Oral sex is a bit overrated anyway.

Hmm that thought would have never crossed my mind .

I know that you did not mean to generalize it and that it was not your intention to say that women who are like that fuck around, but I just wanted to point out that someone being a sexual person does not mean at all that that person is having sex with many partners. I have a lot of sexual energy, but I am totally not interested in sleeping around. I just cannot get enough of the partner I am with when I am in a relationship. I know that many people have that impression of somebody who loves sex or dresses sexy and that can be frustrating at times . But I guess that the woman Dave is talking about probably is interested in having fun with many men, so you could be right with what you are saying....

Nope, she's not at all interested in sleeping with many men...

[Edited 7/7/12 20:44pm]

Maybe she means one of those Rick James licks

Dave1992 said:

Cerebus said:

Did you ask her if somebody had ever told her she was riding the stink train? Seriously, I've known more than one woman who was VERY self-conscious about that because someone had told them they smelled at one time or another. Maybe she does smell.

I didn't ask her, but I got a nice little whiff of her pussy when we were in my car making out and touching and she got really wet and it was a perfectly "normal" smell, just the kind I love. It was not obtrusive at all; I am sure not many other people would have noticed - I have a very sensitive nose. But I'm sure she doesn't smell bad. Plus, everything about her just screams hygiene.

Yeah, but even if she actually smells like roses, she might think otherwise. Either because if a bad experience in the past, or just because she's not really sure. I know both can happen. She could just need some gentle encouragement in that regard.

Why not just respect her decision and keep it moving?

Dave1992 said:

HuMpThAnG said:

You willing to take that chance & and be on the list of guys who "haven't done it right"?

Like I said, I may have licked many women to pleasure, but I am very much aware that it still wouldn't make me "better" or "worse" at licking or that this would make me a "better man" overall.

I am willing to take that chance because I am sure I would at least be very good at carrying out detailed orders. If she knows what exactly she wants, I am quite sure I would be able to provide it.

But just "go for it", "do my thing" and expect it will get her off? Nah, there's absolutely no guarantee for that and I'd never expect that.

Maybe she has a queefing problem?

Maybe she always has gas and doesnt wanna fart in your mouth?

Its perplexing thats for sure.. but maybe she just doesnt like it.. Nothing behind it, no sad stories of how someone broke her clit... she just would rather have sex..

tinaz said:

Maybe she has a queefing problem?

Maybe she always has gas and doesnt wanna fart in your mouth?

Its perplexing thats for sure.. but maybe she just doesnt like it.. Nothing behind it, no sad stories of how someone broke her clit... she just would rather have sex..

vagina fluff

How old is she?

I ask as some (note I said some) younger women may act all sexual and may have had sex many times but haven't really enjoyed it fully yet. It's an insecurity thing. Women generally can't come until they're fully comfortable with themselves and their partner and for a lot of young women that's difficult. Going straight to the "regular" sex means it's over faster.

Or, as others have said, maybe it's just not her thing.

ThisOne said:

tinaz said:

Maybe she has a queefing problem?

Maybe she always has gas and doesnt wanna fart in your mouth?

Its perplexing thats for sure.. but maybe she just doesnt like it.. Nothing behind it, no sad stories of how someone broke her clit... she just would rather have sex..

vagina fluff

!!

Cerebus said:

Dave1992 said:

I didn't ask her, but I got a nice little whiff of her pussy when we were in my car making out and touching and she got really wet and it was a perfectly "normal" smell, just the kind I love. It was not obtrusive at all; I am sure not many other people would have noticed - I have a very sensitive nose. But I'm sure she doesn't smell bad. Plus, everything about her just screams hygiene.

Yeah, but even if she actually smells like roses, she might think otherwise. Either because if a bad experience in the past, or just because she's not really sure. I know both can happen. She could just need some gentle encouragement in that regard.

"By the way, when were we in my car last week, I could smell your pussy! But don't worry, babe, the smell was lovely."

Ottensen said:

Why not just respect her decision and keep it moving?

What "decision" are you talking about and in what way am I being disrespectful?

We just talked about it in a general sense. She would let me lick her pussy, but I know that she's not that much into it. I wouldn't do anything to her she doesn't really enjoy.

tinaz said:

Maybe she has a queefing problem?

Maybe she always has gas and doesnt wanna fart in your mouth?

Its perplexing thats for sure.. but maybe she just doesnt like it.. Nothing behind it, no sad stories of how someone broke her clit... she just would rather have sex..

I don't know, but she said that her pussy was really tight and, based on my experience, I'd say that tight pussies are less likely to have a queefing problem than not-so-tight pussies. But that's also a plausible theory!

I simply can't imagine it's because anything's "wrong" with her. It just doesn't seem like her!

"sad stories of how someone broke her clit"

Well, that's the thing that seems so surreal: a woman who would "rather have sex" and doesn't like being licked. It's absolutely new to me.

CarrieMpls said:

How old is she?

I ask as some (note I said some) younger women may act all sexual and may have had sex many times but haven't really enjoyed it fully yet. It's an insecurity thing. Women generally can't come until they're fully comfortable with themselves and their partner and for a lot of young women that's difficult. Going straight to the "regular" sex means it's over faster.

Or, as others have said, maybe it's just not her thing.

I think she's around my age (~20).

While I do agree with you and I often had the impression that she didn't have the opportunity to fully "let go" and simply enjoy herself yet, she doesn't have a problem with coming and making sex an exciting experience (I can tell by the way she moves when she kisses and touches me).

Yet still I think that, in her mind, there may be a minor insecurity thing attached to it.

Another thing she mentioned was that she becomes extremely impatient when she's being licked and she'd rather feel the whole cock inside of her as quickly as possible, because she can't wait for it. While that's a very, very plausible argument, I still believe that this kind of impatience can be nice to play with, when people take time with foreplay etc...

^ She sounds like a pimp: "fuck all that foreplay bitch fuck me! "

Am I wrong?

Whats wrong with accepting some women just don't like it? I'm not particularly fnd of it myself.

Stymie said:

Whats wrong with accepting some women just don't like it? I'm not particularly fnd of it myself.

I just think Dave wants advice. He never came across this before and he said he respects her decision... but I think he himself wants to be sure on how to please his woman right because as he said, the woman is sexually experienced lol

Timmy84 said:

Advice on what? How to make her like it?

She's being open and honet with him and she has told him what she does like. This thread perplexes me.

Stymie said:

Whats wrong with accepting some women just don't like it? I'm not particularly fnd of it myself.

Do you know why you aren't? What about it doesn't feel good?

Stymie said:

Timmy84 said:

I just think Dave wants advice. He never came across this before and he said he respects her decision... but I think he himself wants to be sure on how to please his woman right because as he said, the woman is sexually experienced lol

Advice on what? How to make her like it? She's being open and honet with him and she has told him what she does like. This thread perplexes me.

No, I would simply like to find out what might causes a woman to dislike being licked, because I can't imagine the sheer physical sensation can feel bad (if done right).

Dave1992 said:

Of course I now why I'm not. :lol:

It is a multitude of reasons Dave, mainly based on the mindset of the person doing it.

Dave1992 said:

It's not about t feeling bad. It can be about a personal preference. I know men who don't like head.