Whatever. Just read it. Agree, disagree, then discuss.

No.10 Nice Guys Take Too Long To Recover

Nice guys and bad boys have the same low success rate when approaching women.

The difference is that bad boys hit on almost every woman they meet. Even if they're striking out most of the time, they still manage to find a date because they swing so often. They shrug off rejection and hit on someone else.

Nice guys, by contrast, work very slowly and only approach one woman they're most interested in. If they get rejected, they spend weeks or months licking their wounds before restarting the cycle

No.9 Nice guys are pushovers

Girls don't not like nice guys; they don't like spineless guys. You can be nice -- just don't be a pushover.

No.8 Nice Guys Have Hidden Agendas

In general, being a good person is attractive. The nice guy is something else. His niceness is not real; it's a social strategy, one that doesn't work, and he blames everyone else for that.

The nice guy lacks the self-confidence to ask someone out, or is otherwise after women who are not going to be interested in him. Such a guy may get into the habit of performing services for these women, trying to ingratiate himself into their company. But this never results in romantic interest. The nice guy may fly into a rage later since he is so frustrated and feels that he's not getting anything back for all his pains, but, really, he's just cheating himself.

No.7 Nice Guys Don't Put Themselves First

What's wrong with nice guys? The biggest problem is that most are hideously insecure. They are so anxious to be liked and loved that they do things for other people to gain acceptance and attention, rather than for the simple pleasure of giving. You never know if a nice guy really likes you for who you are or if he has glommed onto you out of desperation because you actually paid some kind of attention to him.

They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be on -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them.

Nice guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of compromising and negotiating, they repeatedly give in. When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that "Everything I did, I did for her," as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner.

No.6 Men rule and women drool

For the past few millennia, the social structure was for men to be rulers and women their servants (or property, depends how you look at it). Women in history were inferior.

The emancipation of women is a recent trend. One hundred years or so is a brief moment in history and social evolution.

Women who do like nice guys are early adopters. They are the women who study computer science, start their own business, etc.
The other type, the traditional one, who hasn't yet internalized the new social order, still looks for a man-ruler, a man who will own her.

No.5 Niceness Doesn't Rank Above Other Characteristics

Niceness is evaluated as a threshold issue. In other words, when a woman compares two guys who don't make her feel miserable, one being "nicer" than the other is usually not the deciding factor. Looked at this way, it's clear to me that looks, entertainment value, social status value, and even money rank above niceness for the overall population of women. Then there is the psychological effect: Being too nice may be perceived as a signal that you lack the higher value traits.

No.4 It's Easier For Nice Guys To Mess Up

Having a brand as a "nice guy" enormously raises expectations: The truth is, no one is nice 100% of the time, even if they just screw up by accident. The difference is that when the slightly jerky guy screws up, "that's just how he is sometimes," whereas when the nice guy screws up, he's perceived as a hypocrite who was only pretending to be nice all along to get into the girl's pants. If you don't believe this observation, just look at the top-rated answer on this question and how many votes it has garnered.

No.3 Nice Guys Have Low Self-Esteem

Based on personal experience and observation, I'd say the "nice guys finish last" cliche is an absolute fallacy. It is reinforced by a tendency to seek out and notice cliche-affirming situations and by characterizations of nice guys and bad boys by the popular media. I'd also argue that other personality traits may be common among people considered to be nice guys, such as low self-esteem, shyness or submissiveness, which may influence their ability to find women who are romantically interested in them.

No.2 Nice Guys Won't Admit That It's Not Her But Them

Girls like nice guys. A lot.

"Girls don't like nice guys" is what losers tell themselves when they don't want to actually consider what it is about themselves that women don't like. It's somehow easier to tell themselves that they keep getting rejected because they are "too nice" rather than because their breath stinks or because they're obnoxious little whiners.

Women aren't stupid. They aren't rejecting people because they are too good.

No.1 Nice Guys Aren't Nice Guys

Nice guys are rarely actually nice. Nice guys, as in the guys who complain about how women don't like them because they're too nice, are more often uninteresting, insecure and very entitled. They are the sort of guys who believe that if they open a door for a girl, she should sleep with them, and if she doesn't give them the time of day, it's because women only like jerks.

OK...some of those are bad stereotypes, but others hit it right on the nose.

Painfully so.

2012...guys, time to live like a rockstar!

Read more: http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/girls-and-nice-guys_10.html#ixzz1i3OK6FBJ

UGH.

Please stop reading that website. It’s written by low-IQ adolescents. A man of your maturity and intelligence can find better reading materials and advice. I promise.

That said, it seems they are defining “nice guy” as some kind of whiny pushover with no self esteem. Maybe that’s what some people define as a “nice guy”. They’re talking about the cheesy “nice guy” stereotype.

I happen to define a “nice guy” as a guy who is polite, has good manners and is generally kind to everyone. None of that has anything to do with being a pushover or whiny or no self esteem.

Someone on that site has some self esteem issues or is a bitch or something. Fuck what they think, Jedi.

CarrieMpls said:

UGH.

Please stop reading that website. It’s written by low-IQ adolescents. A man of your maturity and intelligence can find better reading materials and advice. I promise.

That said, it seems they are defining “nice guy” as some kind of whiny pushover with no self esteem. Maybe that’s what some people define as a “nice guy”. They’re talking about the cheesy “nice guy” stereotype.

I happen to define a “nice guy” as a guy who is polite, has good manners and is generally kind to everyone. None of that has anything to do with being a pushover or whiny or no self esteem.

Carrie...I can't stop going to it...it's like the kid that keeps playing with matches and setting the drapes on fire...over & over again...

CarrieMpls said:

UGH.

Please stop reading that website. It’s written by low-IQ adolescents. A man of your maturity and intelligence can find better reading materials and advice. I promise.

That said, it seems they are defining “nice guy” as some kind of whiny pushover with no self esteem. Maybe that’s what some people define as a “nice guy”. They’re talking about the cheesy “nice guy” stereotype.

I happen to define a “nice guy” as a guy who is polite, has good manners and is generally kind to everyone. None of that has anything to do with being a pushover or whiny or no self esteem.

I totally agree with u. And the world is lacking nice guys - maybe because most of them think us females want the bad guy - which isnt true most of the time.

Timmy84 said:

Someone on that site has some self esteem issues or is a bitch or something. Fuck what they think, Jedi.

Come on - tell me some of that shit isn't spot-on though...

Based on the choices made by most of the women in my family...I'm going with #11:

No.11 Some Women Have Low Self Worth

Having been unloved, unwanted, mistreated, neglected and/or abused at some time or another in their life (if not from the moment of conception), they are drawn to men who treat them badly. Not so much because they like it but because it is familiar to them and they don't believe they deserve better.

[Edited 12/30/11 13:32pm]

lenis said:

CarrieMpls said:

UGH.

Please stop reading that website. It’s written by low-IQ adolescents. A man of your maturity and intelligence can find better reading materials and advice. I promise.

That said, it seems they are defining “nice guy” as some kind of whiny pushover with no self esteem. Maybe that’s what some people define as a “nice guy”. They’re talking about the cheesy “nice guy” stereotype.

I happen to define a “nice guy” as a guy who is polite, has good manners and is generally kind to everyone. None of that has anything to do with being a pushover or whiny or no self esteem.

I totally agree with u. And the world is lacking nice guys - maybe because most of them think us females want the bad guy - which isnt true most of the time.

So tell us which items on that list are pure BS.

yanowha said:

Based on the choices made by most of the women in my family...I'm going with #11:

No.11 Some Women Have Low Self Worth

Having been unloved, unwanted, mistreated, neglected and/or abused at some time or another in their live (if not from the moment of conception), they are drawn to men who treat them badly. Not so much because they like it but because is familiar to them and they don't believe they deserve better.

PurpleJedi said:

CarrieMpls said:

UGH.

Please stop reading that website. It’s written by low-IQ adolescents. A man of your maturity and intelligence can find better reading materials and advice. I promise.

That said, it seems they are defining “nice guy” as some kind of whiny pushover with no self esteem. Maybe that’s what some people define as a “nice guy”. They’re talking about the cheesy “nice guy” stereotype.

I happen to define a “nice guy” as a guy who is polite, has good manners and is generally kind to everyone. None of that has anything to do with being a pushover or whiny or no self esteem.

Carrie...I can't stop going to it...it's like the kid that keeps playing with matches and setting the drapes on fire...over & over again...

I went through a period of time reading that site every day for a while too. I was trying to figure out the “male perspective” on things. That’s when I realized it’s such utter BS! There might be a few nuggets of good info here and there but most of it is written from a slimy late-teen/early 20-something perspective and following any of the “woman” advice would turn any decent woman off.

So please, just don't take any of it seriously.

PurpleJedi said:

Timmy84 said:

Someone on that site has some self esteem issues or is a bitch or something. Fuck what they think, Jedi.

Come on - tell me some of that shit isn't spot-on though...

Nice guys are not pussy.

CarrieMpls said:

PurpleJedi said:

Carrie...I can't stop going to it...it's like the kid that keeps playing with matches and setting the drapes on fire...over & over again...

I went through a period of time reading that site every day for a while too. I was trying to figure out the “male perspective” on things. That’s when I realized it’s such utter BS! There might be a few nuggets of good info here and there but most of it is written from a slimy late-teen/early 20-something perspective and following any of the “woman” advice would turn any decent woman off.

So please, just don't take any of it seriously.

Good...'cause I've been wracking my brain trying to determine what my "hidden agenda" might be.

I think what they’re trying to say is that guys who can’t get women use the excuse that girls don’t want “nice guys” and they call themselves a “nice guy” based on all of that criteria and that criteria is pointing out that they’re actually not “nice” at all.

But, as I said, women don’t define nice guys that way. We define them as being kind and generous (not with money, mind you).

So if you can’t get a lady, it’s not because women want bad boys and you’re not one. Look at yourself to find out why you can’t get a date (or a second one). That’s the moral of the story.

PurpleJedi said:

PurpleJedi said:

lenis said:

I totally agree with u. And the world is lacking nice guys - maybe because most of them think us females want the bad guy - which isnt true most of the time.

So tell us which items on that list are pure BS.

Pretty much the whole thing is BS. As Carrie wrote it doesnt really define a nice guy. It either defines a bad boy trying to be a nice guy --> no 1, or some spineless whimp with no self esteem whatsoever that tries to blame his bad luck with the ladies on the ladies or on the reason that he's a nice guy.

This is definitely not what defines a nice guy - or definitely not how I define a nice guy. A nice guy is kind and considerate. Treats his girl like a proper lady.

But that list is definitely BS

I have different ways that a man can become attractive to me. And by attractive, I don't necessarily mean physically attractive, but one that I want to date.

1. Even From A Distance - this is a guy who I think is hot physically and I will instantly accept a first date from him. Now he's got to give me some substance on that first date or he won't get a second.

2. Instant Chemistry - this is a guy who I get along with right away when we start talking (looks be damned - it doesn't matter!)

3. A Grower - this is a guy who I am not instantly attracted to physically and doesn't charm me right away with chemistry. But BECAUSE HE IS NICE I keep in touch with and the more I get to know about him, the more I admire him, and that makes him more attractive to me.

So a nice guy can become a grower. It just takes a little more time in the "friend" category.

(Don't stop being who you are, PurpleJedi! I'm a fan of yours!)

Purple Jedi, are you an older white guy? If so, holla! (Note, this is only funny if you've read the other thread)

Don't feel bad, yes, there's a lot of women who are drawn to morons but many more of us are NOT. I made a choice recently to forget about a clown who wasn't behaving too nicely and I'm giving a chance to a guy who so far is being nice. There's hope!

i just read the headings ~ cause its all BULLDUST!!!!

i get all over nice sweet guys!!!!

but they r so hard 2 find

Women don't really like boys who walk around inside a man's body.

Women don't really like men who swear up and down that they are "nice guys" when they open the door for themselves, take phone calls at the table during a date and proceed to talk for 20 minutes, plays Words Free on their phone and only stop to put their phone down to talk about themselves and what's "currently" stressing them out in their lives. Then when the woman talks they go back to surfing on their cell phone.

Women don't like men who proclaim up and down "I'm a real man and I do real man things". Really? Who exactly are you trying to prove to that you are a man? Hmph.

I could go on and on, but I won't, because there are truly some nice guys out here, its just that I haven't met them yet. But I do believe that they are out there.

i have watched many woman i've known go for the "bad boy" type of guy to only end up broken hearted in the end from being hurt. while the whole time they were ignoring the "nice guy" right in-front of their face, because they consider the nice guy boring. i don't get it? why would you want to be treated like crap and not respected by the bad boy? when you could be treated like a queen by the nice guy? my husband is a nice guy, and i adore him for that! but he told me before he met me, that girls thought he was boring. i find him thrilling, his mind is complex and we have awesome conversations about all topics. he has a dry, wicked sense of humor. i really hit the jackpot with him. lucky me that other girls found him boring!

kimrachell said:

i have watched many woman i've known go for the "bad boy" type of guy to only end up broken hearted in the end from being hurt. while the whole time they were ignoring the "nice guy" right in-front of their face, because they consider the nice guy boring. i don't get it? why would you want to be treated like crap and not respected by the bad boy? when you could be treated like a queen by the nice guy? my husband is a nice guy, and i adore him for that! but he told me before he met me, that girls thought he was boring. i find him thrilling, his mind is complex and we have awesome conversations about all topics. he has a dry, wicked sense of humor. i really hit the jackpot with him. lucky me that other girls found him boring!

You did!!! Lucky you!

I haven't hit the jackpot yet. Probably because I don't gamble (literally or figuratively). I'm gonna have to change that in 2012!!!

I find myself attracted to nice guys and bad boys......But a nice guy like you sound like you have is def my speed

-

PurpleJedi said:

No.10 Nice Guys Take Too Long To Recover

Nice guys and bad boys have the same low success rate when approaching women.

The difference is that bad boys hit on almost every woman they meet. Even if they're striking out most of the time, they still manage to find a date because they swing so often. They shrug off rejection and hit on someone else.

Nice guys, by contrast, work very slowly and only approach one woman they're most interested in. If they get rejected, they spend weeks or months licking their wounds before restarting the cycle

I agree with this one 100%. I've known lots of "bad" boys over the years and it just absolutely amazes me when I watch them hit on a woman, get rejected and hit on the next one that walks by. That type of rejection, for the most part, does not bother them. I was always very jealous of that particular characteristic.

From this "nice girl's POV" any nice guy I knew got his heart torn out had it coming to him... because he would seek out women based on looks alone and never consider character traits.

Go for the "hot chicks" only.... even if she is a royal bitch, then the royal bitch would rip his heart out since she showed signs from day one that she was heartless and self-absorbed.

As a "nice girl" I went after the "pretty boys" myself and I learned much from those type of mistakes I made, I had no one to blame but myself.

I just learned NOT to be shallow and stop blaming others for my dumb choices.

Stop being shallow and look beyond a woman's breast/ass/waistline sizes and start looking more at women who have strenght of character .

LOTS of GOOD women out there... just have to know what to look for.

I am a "nice girl"... may not be the hottest chick on the block, but I was the most fun.

It always amazes me how men can be so blind to what is right in front of them. They walk past lots of good women daily and never notice them because those women are not shaking their tits in dudes faces.

paintedlady said:

From this "nice girl's POV" any nice guy I knew got his heart torn out had it coming to him... because he would seek out women based on looks alone and never consider character traits.

Go for the "hot chicks" only.... even if she is a royal bitch, then the royal bitch would rip his heart out since she showed signs from day one that she was heartless and self-absorbed.

As a "nice girl" I went after the "pretty boys" myself and I learned much from those type of mistakes I made, I had no one to blame but myself.

I just learned NOT to be shallow and stop blaming others for my dumb choices.

Stop being shallow and look beyond a woman's breast/ass/waistline sizes and start looking more at women who have strenght of character .

LOTS of GOOD women out there... just have to know what to look for.

I am a "nice girl"... may not be the hottest chick on the block, but I was the most fun.

It always amazes me how men can be so blind to what is right in front of them. They walk past lots of good women daily and never notice them because those women are not shaking their tits in dudes faces.

You just made me think of the movie A Beautiful Mind for this scene:

"In a cinematic version of what would become the "Nash Bargaining Solution," we witness Nash's friends ogling one extremely beautiful blonde woman and four less-ravishing but still attractive brunettes. The other students all intend to seduce the blonde, and one even alludes to Adam Smith's theory of zero-sum game competition--the best man wins, and the others are left out in the cold, literally in this case. Nash, in a sudden flash, realizes that the basis of economic theory does not have to be a zero-sum game, but rather one that might assure mutually beneficial outcomes for all the parties involved (what would later become Nash's "equilibrium" theory). Nash proposes that the students avoid seducing the blonde, since they will get in each others' way and alienate both the blonde and the brunettes. Instead, by ignoring the blonde and concentrating on the brunettes, each will benefit (except, one supposes, the blonde). By seeing the barren outcome of their zero-sum competitive approach, they can adjust their strategy through cooperative bargaining and each, so to speak, enjoy the fruit of his efforts."

http://findarticles.com/p..._83355415/

Nobody needs to miss out people!!!

Every asshole, neurotic self-centered psychopath, paranoid delusional geek, an all around unpleasent disingenuous bloke would call himself a nice guy if you asked him to describe himself.

That's why if anyone asks me, I just say I'm an asshole.

imago said:

Every asshole, neurotic self-centered psychopath, paranoid delusional geek, an all around unpleasent disingenuous bloke would call himself a nice guy if you asked him to describe himself.

That's why if anyone asks me, I just say I'm an asshole.

You're a very nice asshole guy

Machaela said:

imago said:

Every asshole, neurotic self-centered psychopath, paranoid delusional geek, an all around unpleasent disingenuous bloke would call himself a nice guy if you asked him to describe himself.

That's why if anyone asks me, I just say I'm an asshole.

You're a very nice asshole guy