SeventeenDayze said:

Also, how in the world do I know a guy that age would even take me seriously or see me anything more than his sex object?

why wouldn't you want to be seen as a sex object? that's what all birds want innit?

i wouldnt date him, but we could like you know, hang out or sum.......

esp if hes musically inclined...

right now it would be vain andy, hes got the box over on facebook...

[Edited 12/29/11 1:00am]

SeventeenDayze said:

paintedlady said:

Questions a younger lady should ask herself before dating an older (significantly older) guy....

Why is he single? Does his dick still work?

Does he wear dentures? Can you kiss a man with fake teeth?

You must be aware that there is a "mayonaise mouth" factor with false teeth. Folks with a full set tend to collect cheese in the corners of their mouth. He's always gonna look like he just finished eating egg salad.... just sayin'.

Does he have a unique smell? If he does... will you be able to deal with odors that may arise during old man sex. Particulary fellatio.... asparagus dick, and cabbage of the nutsack can be a challenge.

Is he a robust man? Can he still dance, walk and do all the things you can?

Is he gassy? If so, this can put a damper on the whole sexy older guy vibe.

Does he have nice feet? Neglected feet look pretty bad and smell horrible after 60.

Can you find this man sexy while naked?

Can you see yourself sucking on his moobs?

If you can answer yes to all these questions, you can be the arm candy he needs.

This is by far the most disturbing and entertaining thing I've ever seen on the Org and man, that's saying a lot The stuff you wrote makes me wanna like totally give up on life right now

Our Paintelady is a dickmatologist, I would put everything she says as an earring when it comes to the affairs of the penis.

[Edited 12/29/11 5:59am]

SeventeenDayze said:

I was recently asked out by a guy who I think is about 20 years older than me. He also happens to be white (I'm black) and I've gone out with white guys before but never with that much of an age difference. I kinda got the impression from when we first met he was into me but wasn't sure, well, I guess my assumption was right. The thing is that one time he was telling me about some random article he read about how, "studies show that black men under 40 will, statistically, never find gainful employment"....

Then, when he called me to ask me out, he told me about how he just started some new contract job and was hoping to make a lot of money and wanted to take me out....

Ok, so dude is probably in his early 50s, should I go for it or not? Also, how in the world do I know a guy that age would even take me seriously or see me anything more than his sex object?

Thoughts?

Oddly, this stuck out as the worrying part for me.

Age gap and skin colour isn't an issue imo, but talking about money and making that a valid reason for wanting to take someone out is.

But that's just my opinion.

paintedlady said:

Questions a younger lady should ask herself before dating an older (significantly older) guy....

Why is he single? Does his dick still work?

Does he wear dentures? Can you kiss a man with fake teeth?

You must be aware that there is a "mayonaise mouth" factor with false teeth. Folks with a full set tend to collect cheese in the corners of their mouth. He's always gonna look like he just finished eating egg salad.... just sayin'.

Does he have a unique smell? If he does... will you be able to deal with odors that may arise during old man sex. Particulary fellatio.... asparagus dick, and cabbage of the nutsack can be a challenge.

Is he a robust man? Can he still dance, walk and do all the things you can?

Is he gassy? If so, this can put a damper on the whole sexy older guy vibe.

Does he have nice feet? Neglected feet look pretty bad and smell horrible after 60.

Can you find this man sexy while naked?

Can you see yourself sucking on his moobs?

If you can answer yes to all these questions, you can be the arm candy he needs.

I love every word of this.

Judged by the few things you mention about him he seems quite insecure. He might have stated those things as some kind of jokes, but it's possible that he's just an ass.

I tend to sort of make fun of other guys of my age too - admittedly in order to look better in the woman's eyes -, but I don't think I would bring up race in those comments (I usually just make fun of guys trying to look like businessmen or athletes when they're nothing of the kind, really). I don't think laughing at racial stereotypes is completely off-limits when dating someone of a different origin, but those comments seem like they would go a bit too far to be intended as just humour.

Harlepolis said:

SeventeenDayze said:

This is by far the most disturbing and entertaining thing I've ever seen on the Org and man, that's saying a lot The stuff you wrote makes me wanna like totally give up on life right now

Our Paintelady is a dickmatologist, I would put everything she says as an earring when it comes to the affair the of penis.

I had to read the OP's post twice...

Even if there was a conversation about the economy, the fact that he made a point of mentioning about Black men and gainful employment is a bit disconcerting.

Why say that? Was his point to let you know that he can take care of you better than a Black man could?

May I ask how you met?

You must have been a little interested to give him your number...

Does the money play a part in your level of interest in him? It seems that way since you didn't write about any other "qualities" he might offer that would make you even consider dating him. Not even "he seems nice" or "I'm attracted to him". Maybe you should ask yourself: "if it turns out that he's broke, or if he one day loses all his money, will I still be interested?". Your answer to that question will be enlightening.

If it is about the money - and if he does have a lot of it - you could still go for it, but then it's nothing more than the usual business-transaction type of relationship we so often see these days. Not exactly a solid foundation, but it might sustain the relationship for a few years if you're both on the same page about it.

Go out and have a nice time. Age is just a number.

im guessing something in a past relationship is causing him to discuss money and stability of having a job...

I say if hes hot go for it, its not like he asked you to marry him!

@ Paintedlady

Hey...let's not forget that 40 is the new 20.

So 50 is the new 30, right?

Always creepy when an older man wants to be with a younger woman

paintedlady said:

Questions a younger lady should ask herself before dating an older (significantly older) guy....

Why is he single? Does his dick still work?

Does he wear dentures? Can you kiss a man with fake teeth?

You must be aware that there is a "mayonaise mouth" factor with false teeth. Folks with a full set tend to collect cheese in the corners of their mouth. He's always gonna look like he just finished eating egg salad.... just sayin'.

Does he have a unique smell? If he does... will you be able to deal with odors that may arise during old man sex. Particulary fellatio.... asparagus dick, and cabbage of the nutsack can be a challenge.

Is he a robust man? Can he still dance, walk and do all the things you can?

Is he gassy? If so, this can put a damper on the whole sexy older guy vibe.

Does he have nice feet? Neglected feet look pretty bad and smell horrible after 60.

Can you find this man sexy while naked?

Can you see yourself sucking on his moobs?

If you can answer yes to all these questions, you can be the arm candy he needs.

to all of the above.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

Unless the man looks like Robert Downey Jr....forget him. LOL

Nah, I joke.

How long have you known this guy? Is he known to date women younger than him? More specifically, younger black women? How many times is he married, if any?

Feel this guy out. He could be just looking for young pussy. I would know...I like me the older men...but you gotta watch that.

Yeah, Robert Downey, Jr. is my baby daddy for real, I've been in love with him since junior high!

Good advice though, gotta make sure he's not having a mid-life crisis, but if he is, hey why not have fun, LOL!

retina said:

Does the money play a part in your level of interest in him? It seems that way since you didn't write about any other "qualities" he might offer that would make you even consider dating him. Not even "he seems nice" or "I'm attracted to him". Maybe you should ask yourself: "if it turns out that he's broke, or if he one day loses all his money, will I still be interested?". Your answer to that question will be enlightening.

If it is about the money - and if he does have a lot of it - you could still go for it, but then it's nothing more than the usual business-transaction type of relationship we so often see these days. Not exactly a solid foundation, but it might sustain the relationship for a few years if you're both on the same page about it.

Gotta correct you on something, I did say he still has all his hair

Someone else wrote on here they were disturbed that he brought up the fact that he just started a job recently (he's a construction worker/carpenter), so perhaps that's why he brought it up?

By the way, do union carpenters get paid a lot? Sorry for sounding like a gold digger, I'm just curious!

paintedlady said:

Questions a younger lady should ask herself before dating an older (significantly older) guy....

Why is he single? Does his dick still work?

Does he wear dentures? Can you kiss a man with fake teeth?

You must be aware that there is a "mayonaise mouth" factor with false teeth. Folks with a full set tend to collect cheese in the corners of their mouth. He's always gonna look like he just finished eating egg salad.... just sayin'.

Does he have a unique smell? If he does... will you be able to deal with odors that may arise during old man sex. Particulary fellatio.... asparagus dick, and cabbage of the nutsack can be a challenge.

Is he a robust man? Can he still dance, walk and do all the things you can?

Is he gassy? If so, this can put a damper on the whole sexy older guy vibe.

Does he have nice feet? Neglected feet look pretty bad and smell horrible after 60.

Can you find this man sexy while naked?

Can you see yourself sucking on his moobs?

If you can answer yes to all these questions, you can be the arm candy he needs.

SeventeenDayze said:

retina said:

Does the money play a part in your level of interest in him? It seems that way since you didn't write about any other "qualities" he might offer that would make you even consider dating him. Not even "he seems nice" or "I'm attracted to him". Maybe you should ask yourself: "if it turns out that he's broke, or if he one day loses all his money, will I still be interested?". Your answer to that question will be enlightening.

If it is about the money - and if he does have a lot of it - you could still go for it, but then it's nothing more than the usual business-transaction type of relationship we so often see these days. Not exactly a solid foundation, but it might sustain the relationship for a few years if you're both on the same page about it.

Gotta correct you on something, I did say he still has all his hair

Someone else wrote on here they were disturbed that he brought up the fact that he just started a job recently (he's a construction worker/carpenter), so perhaps that's why he brought it up?

By the way, do union carpenters get paid a lot? Sorry for sounding like a gold digger, I'm just curious!

Ok, so if he has all his hair and also money, then you're interested? I still think you might want to ask yourself the question I mentioned...

As for union carpenters' salaries I guess it depends what you compare them with. I'm sure they make a good living for being manual laborers, but it's not exactly like they're stock brokers or lawyers. In order to earn top dollar in carpentry I think you'd either have find a place in the market as a "wood designer" doing specialized precision work for upscale customers (I have a friend who does that) or run your own carpentry business with several employees.

SeventeenDayze said:

I was recently asked out by a guy who I think is about 20 years older than me. He also happens to be white (I'm black) and I've gone out with white guys before but never with that much of an age difference. I kinda got the impression from when we first met he was into me but wasn't sure, well, I guess my assumption was right. The thing is that one time he was telling me about some random article he read about how, "studies show that black men under 40 will, statistically, never find gainful employment"....

Then, when he called me to ask me out, he told me about how he just started some new contract job and was hoping to make a lot of money and wanted to take me out....

Ok, so dude is probably in his early 50s, should I go for it or not? Also, how in the world do I know a guy that age would even take me seriously or see me anything more than his sex object?

Thoughts?

I agree with Chocolate1 about that being a weird comment whether you're talking about the economy or not. And if he's trying to sell himself instead of pointing out what "short comings" someone else MAY have he should tell you all the great things about himself.

To say "pick me because those guys won't be able to find a job" sounds weak. Hell, he may find himself unemployed for a period of time. Does this mean he's not a great guy?

-

SeventeenDayze said:

I was recently asked out by a guy who I think is about 20 years older than me. He also happens to be white (I'm black) and I've gone out with white guys before but never with that much of an age difference. I kinda got the impression from when we first met he was into me but wasn't sure, well, I guess my assumption was right. The thing is that one time he was telling me about some random article he read about how, "studies show that black men under 40 will, statistically, never find gainful employment"....

Then, when he called me to ask me out, he told me about how he just started some new contract job and was hoping to make a lot of money and wanted to take me out....

Ok, so dude is probably in his early 50s, should I go for it or not? Also, how in the world do I know a guy that age would even take me seriously or see me anything more than his sex object?

Thoughts?

Older white man, bragging about his money, trying to take out a young person of color.

Tells young person of color that men of her race and age "will never find gainful employment."

1. That so-called statistic is full of more bullshit than a cow farm.

2. From the small snapshot you've given, he sounds like a racist, fucked-up, insecure motherfucker who will see you as a sex object but NEVER a person. This has nothing to do with his age and everything to do with his fucked up views on race (and probably gender, and probably age).

Tell him to go stuff a roll of $100s up his ass, or take advantage of him for some nice dinners if you really want to. But for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT TRUST HIM. This I beg of you.

[Edited 12/29/11 8:51am]

PunkMistress said:

SeventeenDayze said:

I was recently asked out by a guy who I think is about 20 years older than me. He also happens to be white (I'm black) and I've gone out with white guys before but never with that much of an age difference. I kinda got the impression from when we first met he was into me but wasn't sure, well, I guess my assumption was right. The thing is that one time he was telling me about some random article he read about how, "studies show that black men under 40 will, statistically, never find gainful employment"....

Then, when he called me to ask me out, he told me about how he just started some new contract job and was hoping to make a lot of money and wanted to take me out....

Ok, so dude is probably in his early 50s, should I go for it or not? Also, how in the world do I know a guy that age would even take me seriously or see me anything more than his sex object?

Thoughts?

Older white man, bragging about his money, trying to take out a young person of color.

Tells young person of color that men of her race and age "will never find gainful employment."

1. That so-called statistic is full of more bullshit than a cow farm.

2. From the small snapshot you've given, he sounds like a racist, fucked-up, insecure motherfucker who will see you as a sex object but NEVER a person. This has nothing to do with his age and everything to do with his fucked up views on race (and probably gender, and probably age).

Tell him to go stuff a roll of $100s up his ass, or take advantage of him for some nice dinners if you really want to. But for the love of all that his holy, DO NOT TRUST HIM. This I beg of you.

Sometimes i ain't gotta say shit.

Also, judging from parts one and two of your last escapades, you are not ready for any type of relationship with anyone. Get right with yourself first.

retina said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Gotta correct you on something, I did say he still has all his hair

Someone else wrote on here they were disturbed that he brought up the fact that he just started a job recently (he's a construction worker/carpenter), so perhaps that's why he brought it up?

By the way, do union carpenters get paid a lot? Sorry for sounding like a gold digger, I'm just curious!

Ok, so if he has all his hair and also money, then you're interested? I still think you might want to ask yourself the question I mentioned...

As for union carpenters' salaries I guess it depends what you compare them with. I'm sure they make a good living for being manual laborers, but it's not exactly like they're stock brokers or lawyers. In order to earn top dollar in carpentry I think you'd either have find a place in the market as a "wood designer" doing specialized precision work for upscale customers (I have a friend who does that) or run your own carpentry business with several employees.

Yeah I guess that's where I feel a bit conflicted. I'm really independent and would rather have a little bit with no drama than have a guy throwing money at me and then dealing with a dude who might be controlling or whatever. At the same time, I'm getting sick of not being with anyone but I think I'm getting used to being single to the point where I feel awkward even going on dates. Hard to explain but I think I lost interest in dating many moons ago...

The interesting thing is that I actual read the article the dude was referring to, which had been published around the time he made the comment but still...

Someone else asked how we met, we are in the same volunteer organization (but NO this is NOT the same guy I wrote about on a different thread with the jealousy and email drama).

As far as him being racist, well, he goes to a lot of events that are centered around black issues because he's a self-proclaimed communist (not joking here). I'm not a communist at all but thought this was really interesting to say the least.

Vendetta1 said:

Sometimes i ain't gotta say shit.

Also, judging from parts one and two of your last escapades, you are not ready for any type of relationship with anyone. Get right with yourself first.

That too.

PunkMistress said:

Vendetta1 said:

Sometimes i ain't gotta say shit.

Also, judging from parts one and two of your last escapades, you are not ready for any type of relationship with anyone. Get right with yourself first.

That too.

My last few escapades? I never dated that guy. It was HIS reaction that freaked me out, not my own. There's no need for him to act all indignant because I was hanging out with another guy, period.....

Also, I haven't had a steady relationship in about 10 years, so isn't that long enough? Why does everyone think you have to be "perfect" before being with another person?

SeventeenDayze said:

retina said:

Ok, so if he has all his hair and also money, then you're interested? I still think you might want to ask yourself the question I mentioned...

As for union carpenters' salaries I guess it depends what you compare them with. I'm sure they make a good living for being manual laborers, but it's not exactly like they're stock brokers or lawyers. In order to earn top dollar in carpentry I think you'd either have find a place in the market as a "wood designer" doing specialized precision work for upscale customers (I have a friend who does that) or run your own carpentry business with several employees.

Yeah I guess that's where I feel a bit conflicted. I'm really independent and would rather have a little bit with no drama than have a guy throwing money at me and then dealing with a dude who might be controlling or whatever. At the same time, I'm getting sick of not being with anyone but I think I'm getting used to being single to the point where I feel awkward even going on dates. Hard to explain but I think I lost interest in dating many moons ago...

The interesting thing is that I actual read the article the dude was referring to, which had been published around the time he made the comment but still...

Someone else asked how we met, we are in the same volunteer organization (but NO this is NOT the same guy I wrote about on a different thread with the jealousy and email drama).

As far as him being racist, well, he goes to a lot of events that are centered around black issues because he's a self-proclaimed communist (not joking here). I'm not a communist at all but thought this was really interesting to say the least.

RACIST RACIST RACIST

I've known them, honey. White dudes who try to be "down with the cause" and sometimes actually fight for the rights of others. But when it comes down to it, are the most plantation-minded sons of bitches everrrrr.

Being a racist or not has nothing to do with "having black friends" or being a communist. It has to do with whether the person acknowledges their white privilege and truly sees people as people. That so-called statistic he quoted to you rings huge alarm bells. I'm telling you I've met tons of them. I would bet all the money I don't have in the world () that he's one of them.

He could produce an article that supported his statement? That means nothing to me. Anybody can produce a twisted piece of so-called journalism that plays with numbers to make an inflammatory accusation.

And even if it were totally true and supportable, I still strongly question why he needs to convince you that young black men are unemployable and undateable.

SeventeenDayze said:

PunkMistress said:

That too.

My last few escapades? I never dated that guy. It was HIS reaction that freaked me out, not my own. There's no need for him to act all indignant because I was hanging out with another guy, period.....

Also, I haven't had a steady relationship in about 10 years, so isn't that long enough? Why does everyone think you have to be "perfect" before being with another person?

I could be wrong, but are you the person who was involved in the email list stuff, and that guy who was sending all those mixed signals and involving you in tons of drama?

PunkMistress said:

SeventeenDayze said:

Yeah I guess that's where I feel a bit conflicted. I'm really independent and would rather have a little bit with no drama than have a guy throwing money at me and then dealing with a dude who might be controlling or whatever. At the same time, I'm getting sick of not being with anyone but I think I'm getting used to being single to the point where I feel awkward even going on dates. Hard to explain but I think I lost interest in dating many moons ago...

The interesting thing is that I actual read the article the dude was referring to, which had been published around the time he made the comment but still...

Someone else asked how we met, we are in the same volunteer organization (but NO this is NOT the same guy I wrote about on a different thread with the jealousy and email drama).

As far as him being racist, well, he goes to a lot of events that are centered around black issues because he's a self-proclaimed communist (not joking here). I'm not a communist at all but thought this was really interesting to say the least.

RACIST RACIST RACIST

I've known them, honey. White dudes who try to be "down with the cause" and sometimes actually fight for the rights of others. But when it comes down to it, are the most plantation-minded sons of bitches everrrrr.

Being a racist or not has nothing to do with "having black friends" or being a communist. It has to do with whether the person acknowledges their white privilege and truly sees people as people. That so-called statistic he quoted to you rings huge alarm bells. I'm telling you I've met tons of them. I would bet all the money I don't have in the world () that he's one of them.

He could produce an article that supported his statement? That means nothing to me. Anybody can produce a twisted piece of so-called journalism that plays with numbers to make an inflammatory accusation.

And even if it were totally true and supportable, I still strongly question why he needs to convince you that young black men are unemployable and undateable.

Yeah, I hear ya. I've met a ton of "white liberals" who love black people whom they feel are inferior, ghetto, etc. But, in a heartbeat they will do everything they can to tear down a black person who doesn't fit the stereotype. I've dealt with that enough to know that a lot of liberals have just as much of a racist sentiment under it all as conservatives do......

But, besides all that, perhaps I should just enjoy the moment and let him do what he thinks will impress me. I just don't know if I wanna deal with breaking an "older guy's" heart at the end when the time comes that the fun is over and the reality of the age gap is unavoidable.

SeventeenDayze said:

paintedlady said:

SeventeenDayze....

has found herself a sugardaddy.

It's about damn time, I'm broke as hell I wouldn't mind kickin' it with an older dude for a bit just to have the experience. But, to the person who asked me am I for sale, I just thought about a weird complex about slavery (not joking). I don't know, plus the horrible stares I'd get from black dudes as well would be overwhelming...

But, I dunno, seems like it would be an experience either way!

Please honor and pay attention to those second thoughts you're having. Except the stares from black men, fuck them if they don't know you.

SeventeenDayze said:

PunkMistress said:

RACIST RACIST RACIST

I've known them, honey. White dudes who try to be "down with the cause" and sometimes actually fight for the rights of others. But when it comes down to it, are the most plantation-minded sons of bitches everrrrr.

Being a racist or not has nothing to do with "having black friends" or being a communist. It has to do with whether the person acknowledges their white privilege and truly sees people as people. That so-called statistic he quoted to you rings huge alarm bells. I'm telling you I've met tons of them. I would bet all the money I don't have in the world () that he's one of them.

He could produce an article that supported his statement? That means nothing to me. Anybody can produce a twisted piece of so-called journalism that plays with numbers to make an inflammatory accusation.

And even if it were totally true and supportable, I still strongly question why he needs to convince you that young black men are unemployable and undateable.

Yeah, I hear ya. I've met a ton of "white liberals" who love black people whom they feel are inferior, ghetto, etc. But, in a heartbeat they will do everything they can to tear down a black person who doesn't fit the stereotype. I've dealt with that enough to know that a lot of liberals have just as much of a racist sentiment under it all as conservatives do......

But, besides all that, perhaps I should just enjoy the moment and let him do what he thinks will impress me. I just don't know if I wanna deal with breaking an "older guy's" heart at the end when the time comes that the fun is over and the reality of the age gap is unavoidable.

Sounds like you're putting thought and intention into your decision.

Good luck and remember to update us!

SeventeenDayze said:

PunkMistress said:

That too.

My last few escapades? I never dated that guy. It was HIS reaction that freaked me out, not my own. There's no need for him to act all indignant because I was hanging out with another guy, period.....

Also, I haven't had a steady relationship in about 10 years, so isn't that long enough? Why does everyone think you have to be "perfect" before being with another person?

I don't believe for one second that everyone is asking for perfection because that's redundant. I believe that you should find out within yourself why do you fall for guys that are out to take advantage of you, not having your best interest at heart. That way, you would know what you should tolerate and not tolerate from men. The path to self-love.