alphastreet said:

IamFunkay7 said:

Wow... didn't know that about grad school, same thing happened to me. we do look for validation, why am I coming down so hard on myself.. I am my biggest critique, maybe thats why alot of things arent looking forward in my life. my therapist taught me to breathe in and out, close my eyes and think of a song that reminds me of the happiest point of my life and mine is "He can only hold her ~Amy Winehouse~. but other than that i dont know how to meditate, my therapist said i narrowed down my life to school and home.. therefore I have a hard time getting assignments out of my mind and my friend said I need to relax and not think about it at all... thats hard for me,

Well, it really depends on the program you choose and where you live and other factors when it comes to looking at your GPA, or the best 10 or 20 of it averaged out. I wish a therapist told me this, but I learned this about myself a couple of years ago when my world fell apart. The reason I felt like crap was because I let work, hobbies, school, and even religion though important to me all define my self-worth and looked to all that for validation, cause I was not getting enough of it when growing up and looked outwards naturally, and I didn't always have a solid ground with those things either though I would try to over compensate for it and stress. I was getting love, but I was not getting emotional support or being told it's okay to not be perfect, which is why I get hard on myself. Maybe it's something similar? I lost a lot of important things a couple of years ago, and nearly gave up my faith too until I realized that in my case, I have to be zen about it and spiritual first, and tell myself I'm okay as I am with or without these things and then it's all secondary. Easier said than done, but we let labels define us too much that once we're stripped naked of them, we feel lost.

I like the idea about a relaxation song, try a relaxation colour as well and letting it run through you when closing your eyes. And also breathe in and out like the therapist suggested.

[Edited 12/2/11 21:26pm]

hmm colors sounds like a good idea

normally I meditate to this song.. for about five yrs now still one of my fav, it always calms me down

It puts me in a trance, often reflects a part of me.. idk how to explain it..even listen to it now calms and soothes me

This one I just discovered, they are really helping me right now. I also like to dance to them

This really looks good.

XxAxX said:

IamFunkay7 said:

This thing has waves

It's like going to war with a person

hang in there, you.

It's nice!

I find that songs in D minor with a lot of instrumentation and layers are my weakness and do something to my emotions for some reason. It could be in any genre.

My therapist also notice that another source of my depression/anxiety is my mother.

I believe so to, home life represents my mother.. she just woke me out of my sleep yelling at me about something she thought but it wasn't true, yet she is convinced that it is Anyway... I'm tired.. can't find peace of mind at this house, if I had the gas I would go stay at my brothers, thats where I de-stress.

Story of my life too when there is no rational behaviour from the other end. Once I pay off my debts and secure a job I'm confident in, I wouldn't mind getting my own place at all. It will make me appreciate home more and I could have peace of mind.

I know it will work out in the end, the "climb" is the part that sucks

I learned the hard way I have to believe in myself more than anyone, and sometimes, even family. Not to scare you or anything, but I had to really be strong after graduation too when job searching cause it didn't come overnight and no one understood how competitive it was though I kept believing and searching and it eventually came though I had really awful days too where I felt bad about myself cause I kept being made to feel that way by others. Easier said than done, but you have to learn to be a friend to yourself sometimes when others are not, or if you have positive people like friends, the healthy kind who won't stab you in the back, spend more time with them if family is being too negative at points like that, that's why balance is good.

alphastreet said:

I learned the hard way I have to believe in myself more than anyone, and sometimes, even family. Not to scare you or anything, but I had to really be strong after graduation too when job searching cause it didn't come overnight and no one understood how competitive it was though I kept believing and searching and it eventually came though I had really awful days too where I felt bad about myself cause I kept being made to feel that way by others. Easier said than done, but you have to learn to be a friend to yourself sometimes when others are not, or if you have positive people like friends, the healthy kind who won't stab you in the back, spend more time with them if family is being too negative at points like that, that's why balance is good.

I agree, negative friends/backstabbers make it worse, im awaiting for some positive ones to come in my life. I keep people at a distance, If I can't trust you there is no need to be close to you like that anymore. You have a point though, job searching... has been hectic... lol

when feeling i'm down i try to find things to be thankful for. no matter how minute they may seem.

1. i have a place to take a shower

2. i have food in my refridgerator

3. my body works, hands, eyes, feet, etc

4. i have talents, artistic, cooking, sewing, etc

5. i (have been told) am a good cook, i agree

6. the sun is shinning today. if it's raining, the flowers, trees and all are sustaining life

7. i have a roof over my head

these things may seem trivial, however each day i try to find something to be thankful for.

positivity is like a light, a light that glows if u let it grow.

santana has a quote that i like very much: "one positive word creates a million positive vibrations." (one can only imagine the opposite regarding negative words)

for you from me:

1. i'm thankful you can convey your thoughts so well

2. i'm thankful you have two eyes to see

3. i'm thankful you are a good person

4.

5.

6.

7.

4-7 are for you to fill in. it's a small beginning to start from, but finding things in your life to be thankful for are plentiful if you just look around you.

this little light of mine, i'm going to let it shine (with positivity).

Anyone here suffer from monthly depression? Like it comes around the time your time of month is about to strike? I do...and it's a bitch.

ThruTheEyesOfWonder said:

Anyone here suffer from monthly depression? Like it comes around the time your time of month is about to strike? I do...and it's a bitch.

Yep that enhances it but thats so true..

free2bfreeda said:

when feeling i'm down i try to find things to be thankful for. no matter how minute they may seem.

1. i have a place to take a shower

2. i have food in my refridgerator

3. my body works, hands, eyes, feet, etc

4. i have talents, artistic, cooking, sewing, etc

5. i (have been told) am a good cook, i agree

6. the sun is shinning today. if it's raining, the flowers, trees and all are sustaining life

7. i have a roof over my head

these things may seem trivial, however each day i try to find something to be thankful for.

positivity is like a light, a light that glows if u let it grow.

santana has a quote that i like very much: "one positive word creates a million positive vibrations." (one can only imagine the opposite regarding negative words)

for you from me:

1. i'm thankful you can convey your thoughts so well

2. i'm thankful you have two eyes to see

3. i'm thankful you are a good person

4.I'm graduating with my degree in less than a week

5.I'm eclectic, talented songwriter and poet

6.I am loved by many and even if I feel alone I'm really not

7.Although I'm no master at guitar.. or any instrument I can play by hearing and thats a blessing

8. I can motivate almost anyone and I love God for always being there for me.

4-7 are for you to fill in. it's a small beginning to start from, but finding things in your life to be thankful for are plentiful if you just look around you.

this little light of mine, i'm going to let it shine (with positivity).

I am a huge believer of grown children getting out of their parents home before their 23rd birthday.

You are too big for the nest.

Yes it is risky to leave. You may not be ready.

By not leaving you are telling yourself "I am too weak".

"I am not capable of handling adulthood"

"I will crumble"

"I am unable to learn from my mistakes, pick up the pieces and move on. I need a parent to that for me".

You are sending yourself a very negative message.

Truth is that you are going to make mistakes and some of them will seem major. However your parents are alive and can give you guidance. You are still in your twenties and other adults may be willing to mentor you.

If you continue to stay home until your late twenties, thirties or beyond. You will be no better off for it. You will still make mistakes, some of them seeming to be major. However your parents will be older and less able to help you or they may have already died.

Older and wiser adults are less likely to invest in mentoring someone over the age of 30, especially over 35. You will be seen as a weakling, lacking ambition, and not worth the time and energy.

In relationships you will only attract simular folks if anyone because people will see you as childlike, and needy. Someone that can not be an equal.

I have known people that find a mate once their parents die. I have a strong feeling that the fact that this man inherited his family home complete with built in swimming pool in a nice area of town had something to do with it. The home is paid for. All he has to do is pay the taxes on it. Believe it or not I have known some who can't do that.

So, get into a rooming house or whatever. Join the peace corps even , do something that cuts the apron strings. You will be sending your soul the message "I CAN DO THIS" and it will make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself.

Deadflow3r said:

I am a huge believer of grown children getting out of their parents home before their 23rd birthday.

You are too big for the nest.

Yes it is risky to leave. You may not be ready.

By not leaving you are telling yourself "I am too weak".

"I am not capable of handling adulthood"

"I will crumble"

"I am unable to learn from my mistakes, pick up the pieces and move on. I need a parent to that for me".

You are sending yourself a very negative message.

Truth is that you are going to make mistakes and some of them will seem major. However your parents are alive and can give you guidance. You are still in your twenties and other adults may be willing to mentor you.

If you continue to stay home until your late twenties, thirties or beyond. You will be no better off for it. You will still make mistakes, some of them seeming to be major. However your parents will be older and less able to help you or they may have already died.

Older and wiser adults are less likely to invest in mentoring someone over the age of 30, especially over 35. You will be seen as a weakling, lacking ambition, and not worth the time and energy.

In relationships you will only attract simular folks if anyone because people will see you as childlike, and needy. Someone that can not be an equal.

I have known people that find a mate once their parents die. I have a strong feeling that the fact that this man inherited his family home complete with built in swimming pool in a nice area of town had something to do with it. The home is paid for. All he has to do is pay the taxes on it. Believe it or not I have known some who can't do that.

So, get into a rooming house or whatever. Join the peace corps even , do something that cuts the apron strings. You will be sending your soul the message "I CAN DO THIS" and it will make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself.

I know what you mean, I moved out when I was 18 and just moved back 2 years ago. I miss having roommates, and enjoying my own freedom, but I prefer my own place the next time I move out... I don't like having roommates lol.

Wanted to move out at 19 for school almost a decade ago, but that didn't work out in the end. Though I would like my own place, it doesn't make sense yet cause of not making enough to do so, and my location right now being convenient for my work. If I got a better job that was further, I would move then. And I don't mean to use this as an excuse, but in my culture, it's normal for adult children to still live at home till marriage so we're not really encouraged to leave or it's looked down upon, though it really depends on the individual/family too and I think this is slowly changing overtime and more are beginning to do it, or they do it if they need to relocate for work far from home or out of town. I came close to leaving several years ago, but now want to do it within the next two, and I don't plan to marry or anything like that, it would be for myself. Though I'm grateful for where I'm at right now, I need mental stability too and maybe that is the change I need cause I keep dwelling on how I didn't do things I could have done years ago.

alphastreet said:

Wanted to move out at 19 for school almost a decade ago, but that didn't work out in the end. Though I would like my own place, it doesn't make sense yet cause of not making enough to do so, and my location right now being convenient for my work. If I got a better job that was further, I would move then. And I don't mean to use this as an excuse, but in my culture, it's normal for adult children to still live at home till marriage so we're not really encouraged to leave or it's looked down upon, though it really depends on the individual/family too and I think this is slowly changing overtime and more are beginning to do it, or they do it if they need to relocate for work far from home or out of town. I came close to leaving several years ago, but now want to do it within the next two, and I don't plan to marry or anything like that, it would be for myself. Though I'm grateful for where I'm at right now, I need mental stability too and maybe that is the change I need cause I keep dwelling on how I didn't do things I could have done years ago.

Hell I feel ya on that. I wanted to move out when I was 17 actually. My mom is so stifling and even now, though I'm 21, she's still feeling too possessive of me. I have to actually set her straight more often than not.

And my mom...let's just say you could actually go on guilt trips, she'd run the fucking travel agency.

No wonder I get monthly depressed.

Yeah back to that, before and after that special monthly visit, I'm at my worst, in fact, it's not so bad when I'm on it compared to before.

Mom was okay with me moving out, dad said he would support it and then financially backed out cause of other plans. I should have just saved up when working in high school, but I didn't know the family would breakdown and others would be involved His reason was cause I didn't leave town though the commute took forever, it really would have made a huge difference.

free2bfreeda said:

when feeling i'm down i try to find things to be thankful for. no matter how minute they may seem.

1. i have a place to take a shower

2. i have food in my refridgerator

3. my body works, hands, eyes, feet, etc

4. i have talents, artistic, cooking, sewing, etc

5. i (have been told) am a good cook, i agree

6. the sun is shinning today. if it's raining, the flowers, trees and all are sustaining life

7. i have a roof over my head

these things may seem trivial, however each day i try to find something to be thankful for.

positivity is like a light, a light that glows if u let it grow.

santana has a quote that i like very much: "one positive word creates a million positive vibrations." (one can only imagine the opposite regarding negative words)

for you from me:

1. i'm thankful you can convey your thoughts so well

2. i'm thankful you have two eyes to see

3. i'm thankful you are a good person

4.

5.

6.

7.

4-7 are for you to fill in. it's a small beginning to start from, but finding things in your life to be thankful for are plentiful if you just look around you.

this little light of mine, i'm going to let it shine (with positivity).

That's awesome.

one of the things that males me depressed is my financial situation. I really do not take the time to budget myself and end up making compromises i wish i did not hasve to make because of it. I totally messed up my banking this month and i think it may be a case of identity theft! I am vowing now to change all that for good. From now on I will keep a log of my spending and cut the whole "it is only a dollar" "it is on sale and i will never get it at that price again" bullshit out. It is my new years resolution but i am starting right now, December 11, 2011!!!!

Great goal!

So I'm working through this, my grades weren't so dandy this quarter but...

Due to me digging deep within my own mind, I realize we are our biggest critics...

So what am I learning?

I struggle with depression and I need to stop comparing everyone elses experience to mine. =/

Take your setbacks and see them as an accomplishment, I may not have the best grades, the best life, the best looks, but its mine, mine to live and I'm going to be okay. This depression won't destroy me, it will not break me, I will break it. I may not be the most prettiest but I can only be me and I think I'm gorgeous in my eyes, I may not have straight A's but I'm pretty damn smart and can explain anything to you, got myself through college even with the issues. I may not like my situation but I can change it and if I can't I can figure out how to deal with it.

Whats the cure to help on the road to freedom: Life is imperfect, accept it, it will never be perfect.

Confidence in life, will help you on your journey, life gets harder, but thats the battle, the purpose. It's like a giant series of pop quizzes, and the award is the experience.

IamFunkay7 said:

So I'm working through this, my grades weren't so dandy this quarter but...

Due to me digging deep within my own mind, I realize we are our biggest critics...

So what am I learning?

I struggle with depression and I need to stop comparing everyone elses experience to mine. =/

Take your setbacks and see them as an accomplishment, I may not have the best grades, the best life, the best looks, but its mine, mine to live and I'm going to be okay. This depression won't destroy me, it will not break me, I will break it. I may not be the most prettiest but I can only be me and I think I'm gorgeous in my eyes, I may not have straight A's but I'm pretty damn smart and can explain anything to you, got myself through college even with the issues. I may not like my situation but I can change it and if I can't I can figure out how to deal with it.

Whats the cure to help on the road to freedom: Life is imperfect, accept it, it will never be perfect.

Confidence in life, will help you on your journey, life gets harder, but thats the battle, the purpose. It's like a giant series of pop quizzes, and the award is the experience.

Keep working through, you're doing a great job.

Congrats funkay, proud of you. And on days that aren't so great, remember you will have good days like this again.

On days when depression is particularly bad it really helps to revisit music that makes you feel empowered and full of life again. When I am deeply depressed, music has always been the motivating force to get me up and and back on my feet again...for all these years. As well as reading poetry that really speaks to me. Best wishes to you. And, remember, a new day always dawns when you will feel better. That is the wisdom of growing older--life constantly changes and nothing stays the same. For every dark night, there is a new dawn.

alphastreet said:

Congrats funkay, proud of you. And on days that aren't so great, remember you will have good days like this again.

Agreed there are gonna be dark days, but the good ones always make the fight worth it.

Thunder, those are some wise words, as you can see I put that quote as my signature to never forget it,

For every dark night, there is a new dawn... thats the best quote Ive heard in a while.

Shows you how much I work through in one month lol, wow!

[Edited 12/13/11 19:27pm]

IamFunkay7 said:

alphastreet said:

Congrats funkay, proud of you. And on days that aren't so great, remember you will have good days like this again.

Agreed there are gonna be dark days, but the good ones always make the fight worth it.

Thunder, those are some wise words, as you can see I put that quote as my signature to never forget it,

For every dark night, there is a new dawn... thats the best quote Ive heard in a while.

Shows you how much I work through in one month lol, wow!

[Edited 12/13/11 19:27pm]

I feel honored. Just remember this is advice from someone who has battled depression for decades. It does get better. Just pick your battles wisely. The rest of the time--learn how to enjoy yourself.

I like that quote too. Fast, upbeat music that you don't have to take too seriously does help for sure. And if you like being active, dancing or exercising to it.

To those of you who suffer from depression, I know how you feel. I suffer from depression too. I sleep really weird hours, or hardly at all. I wake up early in the morning, with thoughts racing, and I can't go back to sleep. Last night I fell asleep around 7:30 p.m., and woke up around 5:30 a.m. this morning.

cilexa, zanax, therapy, diet n exercise. its what i do .. works for me

[Edited 12/22/11 9:51am]