TheFreakerFantastic said:

IamFunkay7 said:

She said until I see her again next week I had to do these things:

5x of exercise (5 days)

2 times of getting out the house and hanging with friends/being away from home.

3 meals or more a day

Relaxing for a few hours a day

No offence, but I told you this last week on this thread....maybe u should listen to me instead

Sometimes though it's nice to hear from a real person in front of you and to talk....so I get it...

[Edited 11/29/11 14:23pm]

I kindly suggest you get over yourself, my friend.

This thread is about IamFunkay getting through her depression...not you getting your ego stroked. Okay?

IamFunkay7 said:

She said until I see her again next week I had to do these things:

5x of exercise (5 days)

2 times of getting out the house and hanging with friends/being away from home.

3 meals or more a day

Relaxing for a few hours a day

That sounds like a really good plan. You should try to follow it! I've been dealing with clinical depression for about seventeen years. I've been through lots of very rough spots, but I'm still here and experiencing joy in life!

JustErin said:

Real depression and anxiety is not something that we all go through at some point. It is not a normal part of life at all, it is not just a part of growing up and it's not something that just eating well, exercising and praying will take care of.

This is so true, and an extremely important point.

I am in no way pointing the finger at anyone in this thread who shared their experience or advice. But it is extremely important for sufferers of clinical depression (and those who wish to be helpful to them) to understand that having clinical depression is not the same thing as everybody having sad moods or tough times. The idea that some folks can deal with ups and downs and others are too weak to do so without help is a false notion when it comes to those who have this condition. It is a condition that requires attention and treatment.

Deadflow3r said:

Thank you for your kind words

I have always felt that God was real. Maybe not exactly the Christian version of God, but most definitely a universal, one, creator, force, that combines light and darkness like a ying yang symbol. Given that I believe that we are all figments of this Heavenly Father's imagination, we are therefor all understood and treasured by our creator.

It is unfortunate that many times in my life I felt that God's love and the love of the Universe was it for me. I have often felt like other humans do not love me. I am a vulture of a woman. My value seems to be only seen by others when I am no longer in their life. Like a vulture, I am misunderstood and even sometimes feared.

Since childhood I have had people pull away from me because "she is so strange!"

I should be ok with it. This man described the woman of his dreams and she sounded just like me. I fell for it. Finally someone likes vultures. maybe a male vulture? I fell hard and ultimately there was no net.

So back to meditation which heals me better than anything!

For starters, it is time to figure out what are you doing or saying to drive people away from you. Whatever it is, it's an ongoing pattern. Get to the root of the problem, and change it. Secondly, you may want to curb those intense conversations with these men. Talk about something interesting and fun. Get to know one another. Deeper conversations should come with time, once you guys get to know one another. Don't drive him away so soon. Thirdly, I do see optimism in finding true love in the near future on a few of your posts here. Also, your love for God. Hold on dearly to it. Another thing, and only you can answer this. Do you need to improve your appearance, for an example a pedicure or a manicure, your hair or clothing? It doesn't have to be expensive, and you do not have to look like a sexy vamp, but a change. Guys are very visual as well as loving a good positive attitude. I hope this helps, and stay away from cemetaries, unless it is to visit a love one. You're not dead. They are

PunkMistress said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

No offence, but I told you this last week on this thread....maybe u should listen to me instead

Sometimes though it's nice to hear from a real person in front of you and to talk....so I get it...

[Edited 11/29/11 14:23pm]

I kindly suggest you get over yourself, my friend.

This thread is about IamFunkay getting through her depression...not you getting your ego stroked. Okay?

No, I am just trying to save her some dough that's all, unlike a therapist, we don't charge....

But as I said, sometimes it's nice to hear it in person, so I get it.

So don't stress Genesia, sorry PunkMistress...

[Edited 11/30/11 3:13am]

Deadflow3r said:

alphastreet said:

I got chills reading that cause I could relate to a lot of it, but wish I was like that though I feel too victimized by my past to become this way too. There was a time I used to pray all the time and though I know it's helpful, it's too painful to do now and I feel guilty for too much.

[Edited 11/29/11 0:29am]

Meditation heals me more than prayer does.

I sometimes go to a quiet cemetery, no one is ever there. There I sit, quietly within its nothingness and force myself to become quiet inside.

Thank you for your kind words. Thanks for reminding me of cemeteries also. There is one not far from me and I should stroll through and maybe bring a candle.

I believe in the West we overvalue prayer and undervalue meditation. Ultimately we throw off our spiritual balance this way,IMO.

I believe meditation works too, but I don't know how to do it though I have gone for rekaxation therapy and want to continue it. I didn't mean to remind you of a cemetary lol although there are two people I would like to visit.

alphastreet said:

Deadflow3r said:

Meditation heals me more than prayer does.

I sometimes go to a quiet cemetery, no one is ever there. There I sit, quietly within its nothingness and force myself to become quiet inside.

Thank you for your kind words. Thanks for reminding me of cemeteries also. There is one not far from me and I should stroll through and maybe bring a candle.

I believe in the West we overvalue prayer and undervalue meditation. Ultimately we throw off our spiritual balance this way,IMO.

I believe meditation works too, but I don't know how to do it though I have gone for rekaxation therapy and want to continue it. I didn't mean to remind you of a cemetary lol although there are two people I would like to visit.

It can be as simple as closing your eyes and focusing on your breath.

ConsciousContact said:

alphastreet said:

I believe meditation works too, but I don't know how to do it though I have gone for rekaxation therapy and want to continue it. I didn't mean to remind you of a cemetary lol although there are two people I would like to visit.

It can be as simple as closing your eyes and focusing on your breath.

Exactly,

I love cemeteries.

They usually have beautiful grounds that are well kept up.

They are very quiet.

Almost never anyone there. (In victorian days they were social places and served as public parks). So no one is going to disturb your meditation.

I also often take along a journal and a camera too.

Yeah I know the manual I just have no discipline and don't know how to settle down my mind, body or spirit, I'm too all over the place...I can't believe I'm not even ADD sometimes

I think that when I was at my darkest though, I craved peace so much that I was able to do it a little bit, but it was so short lived.

alphastreet said:

Yeah I know the manual I just have no discipline and don't know how to settle down my mind, body or spirit, I'm too all over the place...I can't believe I'm not even ADD sometimes

I think that when I was at my darkest though, I craved peace so much that I was able to do it a little bit, but it was so short lived.

That is why I get out of the house and suround myself in an area where there are no distractions. I AM ADD. no doubt about it.

I'm diagnosed as bipolar, but don't even know sometimes if that's really the case, they don't know wtf they're doing....I should be my own personal psychiatrist instead (in the process of changing mine and stressed, but have to joke about it)

I like my religion a lot, but feel that upbringing has kept me from enjoying it like other people do, like I'm not good enough or something. I feel at my best if I'm in an environment like a coffee shop or one with neutral colours like in my living room and I have a cup of coffee or tea and a notebook to write poems or songs. If it leads to praying and having grattitude, that's the best type of spirituality for me. I have daily prayers but find it hard to calm down to do it or get too lazy and would rather do other things. Plus I don't attend congregation though I miss it, too much social anxiety, too much gossip and the years of believing I'm not good enough if I don't go from how family has put it has damaged me.

[Edited 11/30/11 6:51am]

alphastreet said:

I'm diagnosed as bipolar, but don't even know sometimes if that's really the case, they don't know wtf they're doing....I should be my own personal psychiatrist instead (in the process of changing mine and stressed, but have to joke about it)

I like my religion a lot, but feel that upbringing has kept me from enjoying it like other people do, like I'm not good enough or something. I feel at my best if I'm in an environment like a coffee shop or one with neutral colours like in my living room and I have a cup of coffee or tea and a notebook to write poems or songs. If it leads to praying and having grattitude, that's the best type of spirituality for me. I have daily prayers but find it hard to calm down to do it or get too lazy and would rather do other things. Plus I don't attend congregation though I miss it, too much social anxiety, too much gossip and the years of believing I'm not good enough if I don't go from how family has put it has damaged me.

[Edited 11/30/11 6:51am]

I am Both bipolar II and ADD, and I am not ashamed of either.

Congregations are made up of humans and it is human to gossip, fault find, be excluding etc.

It can be tough. I do find making time each day (lighting a candle indoors and focusing that way) to make a contact with the "God of my understanding" to be most helpful to me.

I'm bipolar and I've been also told OCD, but am now being given some crazy ass drug in addition to what I have I know I don't need, and it's not the first time this quack has pulled this shit on me handing me new samples with dangerous labels, and me just leaving them around my room unopened. Today I went to ask for a new psychiatrist and I'm researching to get a new counsellor, one in private practice now cause nobody has been helping me with my emotional problems, drugs won't do it even though I can't just get off them at this point either.

I definitely realize any group or community will have similar dynamics to what I fear, it happened at school and work too and I still deal with it at work and sometimes feel physically sick before going in, but it is what it is and it's not as bad as it used to be.

Funkay, sorry to make it all about me. I read one of your last posts, let us know how it goes with trying what your therapist recommended.

[Edited 11/30/11 7:16am]

TheFreakerFantastic said:

PunkMistress said:

I kindly suggest you get over yourself, my friend.

This thread is about IamFunkay getting through her depression...not you getting your ego stroked. Okay?

No, I am just trying to save her some dough that's all, unlike a therapist, we don't charge....

But as I said, sometimes it's nice to hear it in person, so I get it.

So don't stress Genesia, sorry PunkMistress...

[Edited 11/30/11 3:13am]

I'm not sure you do get it, but I know your intentions are good. Not only do you not charge like a therapist, you aren't qualified like a therapist. Neither am I. It's not just that it's "nice to hear it in person." A person who has depression needs a qualified guide who is trained in what is happening to them, not just well-meaning advice. Some of our well-meaning advice may coincide with what the qualified person suggests, and that's great. It means we might be on the right track with our kind words. It in no way means we are a replacement for professional assistance and years of training.

Again, it's clear that your intentions are to help, so I'm not attacking you at all. I'm just a person with depression who's been on the path of healing for sixteen years and I hate to see misinformation sent out to a young person just learning to deal with this.

I hate to jump in and I understand if you took the comment seriously, and especially if the topic starter did too, but though I'm a sufferer myself and have been for many years, mostly undiagnosed, I sort of laughed off the post cause it sounded unserious like a friend who wants to be there to help them and be there for them, although now it's reminding me of people who would look at me after I told them I take drugs and they would say I'm fine I don't look depressed. The reason I don't appear that way all the time though I may look spaced out at times is cause I hide it well.

Well, our next appt is next week, hopefully we will get forward on that too. I am currently having a burn out at school my ten page paper is already two days late and I got another one due on Friday... Like my mom always says, how do you eat an elephant, one bite at a time...one bite

And I don't mind seeing all your post, its ok, I don't want this thread to be just about me, I want it to be a support system for everyone.

I want deadflow3r to know she's not alone

[Edited 11/30/11 12:56pm]

TheFreakerFantastic said:

IamFunkay7 said:

She said until I see her again next week I had to do these things:

5x of exercise (5 days)

2 times of getting out the house and hanging with friends/being away from home.

3 meals or more a day

Relaxing for a few hours a day

No offence, but I told you this last week on this thread....maybe u should listen to me instead

Sometimes though it's nice to hear from a real person in front of you and to talk....so I get it...

[Edited 11/29/11 14:23pm]

I am sure that your words did not fall on deaf ears and your posts are not avoided.

I say this because on other threads, mostly in P&R, I post something and no one says a damn thing and then a page later someone else basically rewords what I said and gets tons of feedback. I end up feeling invisible.

Well, what these paid professionals should tell people is that these other things are just as important as medicine. If you are taking your meds but isolating, eating irratically and crappy ass foods, not getting outside or the regular sleep you need your med is not going to feel that effective.

alphastreet said:

I'm bipolar and I've been also told OCD, but am now being given some crazy ass drug in addition to what I have I know I don't need, and it's not the first time this quack has pulled this shit on me handing me new samples with dangerous labels, and me just leaving them around my room unopened. Today I went to ask for a new psychiatrist and I'm researching to get a new counsellor, one in private practice now cause nobody has been helping me with my emotional problems, drugs won't do it even though I can't just get off them at this point either.

I definitely realize any group or community will have similar dynamics to what I fear, it happened at school and work too and I still deal with it at work and sometimes feel physically sick before going in, but it is what it is and it's not as bad as it used to be.

Funkay, sorry to make it all about me. I read one of your last posts, let us know how it goes with trying what your therapist recommended.

[Edited 11/30/11 7:16am]

The title of the thread is Suffering from Depression.

As far as I can tell it is about and for anyone who is suffering and anyone who loves someone who is suffering from depression.

To me this is the org at its best, sharing, caring and just sometimes letting it out. I place to talk and a place to listen.

It is a thread about people trying to get healthy and getting frustrated when their efforts are not successful.

I love this thread

Deadflow3r said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

No offence, but I told you this last week on this thread....maybe u should listen to me instead

Sometimes though it's nice to hear from a real person in front of you and to talk....so I get it...

[Edited 11/29/11 14:23pm]

I am sure that your words did not fall on deaf ears and your posts are not avoided.

I say this because on other threads, mostly in P&R, I post something and no one says a damn thing and then a page later someone else basically rewords what I said and gets tons of feedback. I end up feeling invisible.

Well, what these paid professionals should tell people is that these other things are just as important as medicine. If you are taking your meds but isolating, eating irratically and crappy ass foods, not getting outside or the regular sleep you need your med is not going to feel that effective.

I agree, any therapist worth their credentials should be working on a holistic approach to healing, not just meds.

PunkMistress said:

Deadflow3r said:

I am sure that your words did not fall on deaf ears and your posts are not avoided.

I say this because on other threads, mostly in P&R, I post something and no one says a damn thing and then a page later someone else basically rewords what I said and gets tons of feedback. I end up feeling invisible.

Well, what these paid professionals should tell people is that these other things are just as important as medicine. If you are taking your meds but isolating, eating irratically and crappy ass foods, not getting outside or the regular sleep you need your med is not going to feel that effective.

I agree, any therapist worth their credentials should be working on a holistic approach to healing, not just meds.

I have been around psychiatrist and psychologists and therapists from 2004 until 2010 and they really are not good at doing more then mentioning it at one of the sittings. That info needs to be charted by the patient.

I think therapists should make their patients keep a log of ;

how many times you showered

brushed your teeth

got completely dressed and out of pj's

walked out of the house

got at least a half an hour of walking in the daylight

Ate a meal

What you ate

time you went to bed

time you got up

Words and feeling are important but actions speak to the mind as loudly if not more loudly than words do.

Deadflow3r said:

TheFreakerFantastic said:

No offence, but I told you this last week on this thread....maybe u should listen to me instead

Sometimes though it's nice to hear from a real person in front of you and to talk....so I get it...

[Edited 11/29/11 14:23pm]

I am sure that your words did not fall on deaf ears and your posts are not avoided.

I say this because on other threads, mostly in P&R, I post something and no one says a damn thing and then a page later someone else basically rewords what I said and gets tons of feedback. I end up feeling invisible.

Well, what these paid professionals should tell people is that these other things are just as important as medicine. If you are taking your meds but isolating, eating irratically and crappy ass foods, not getting outside or the regular sleep you need your med is not going to feel that effective.

I agree I was just telling everyone what the therapist said

Deadflow3r said:

PunkMistress said:

I agree, any therapist worth their credentials should be working on a holistic approach to healing, not just meds.

I have been around psychiatrist and psychologists and therapists from 2004 until 2010 and they really are not good at doing more then mentioning it at one of the sittings. That info needs to be charted by the patient.

I think therapists should make their patients keep a log of ;

how many times you showered

brushed your teeth

got completely dressed and out of pj's

walked out of the house

got at least a half an hour of walking in the daylight

Ate a meal

What you ate

time you went to bed

time you got up

Words and feeling are important but actions speak to the mind as loudly if not more loudly than words do.

Yeah I agree completely with these. There was a point where, I know it sounds gross, but I would go for days without showering and washing myself a couple of years ago ago though once I had to go out, I would force myself to clean up and that itself felt draining. They just hand out the drugs and I feel more worried or tired.

I don't need to take ativan often, only when needed, but was told to along with what I'm on if I have bad anxiety. I did it last night and ended up sleeping for 18 hours and feel so drowsy right now cause it's only the second time I've ever taken it. I don't want to again but I do know I need to adjust something about my medication, but most of all find a counsellor that understands my problems with anxiety everywhere I go, and the situation that's taken over my life bothering me so much.

alphastreet said:

Deadflow3r said:

I have been around psychiatrist and psychologists and therapists from 2004 until 2010 and they really are not good at doing more then mentioning it at one of the sittings. That info needs to be charted by the patient.

I think therapists should make their patients keep a log of ;

how many times you showered

brushed your teeth

got completely dressed and out of pj's

walked out of the house

got at least a half an hour of walking in the daylight

Ate a meal

What you ate

time you went to bed

time you got up

Words and feeling are important but actions speak to the mind as loudly if not more loudly than words do.

Yeah I agree completely with these. There was a point where, I know it sounds gross, but I would go for days without showering and washing myself a couple of years ago ago though once I had to go out, I would force myself to clean up and that itself felt draining. They just hand out the drugs and I feel more worried or tired.

I don't need to take ativan often, only when needed, but was told to along with what I'm on if I have bad anxiety. I did it last night and ended up sleeping for 18 hours and feel so drowsy right now cause it's only the second time I've ever taken it. I don't want to again but I do know I need to adjust something about my medication, but most of all find a counsellor that understands my problems with anxiety everywhere I go, and the situation that's taken over my life bothering me so much.

That is why I put showering and teeth on there.

Therapists need to really seeeee what the hell is going on.

"Asking a patient "how are you doing?" doesn't tell as much as leafing through what they have done for the past week or 2.

Some drugs I took also made me very sleepy. Now, sleepiness is also a side effect of my depression. Being lack luster all the time was horrible. I had no routine.

Right now in my life I also need to be a little firmer with myself as far as routines go. Depression totally can pull you out of that. Even simple routines like wake up, wash face and brush teeth kind of thing. There are a whole lot of things that i don't think patients will tell their therapist unless the therapist asks just for shame reasons alone.

Yeah they need to go through a checklist for sure and keep it basic and normalize these conditions instead of stigmatizing which is what I feel like is happening too often. I've always been tired myself too and have messed up sleep hours anyways, and my work shift times change a lot too so that messes me up big time.

Though I've been down anyways for a long time, I let things I can't help depress me so much too, especially if it involves people I have feelings for that I can't shake off, and I feel weird for admitting it cause I was always one to say I don't get emotionally attached to people, but it has happened to me though I know I'm fine without it too and advise people of the same thing.

most of all try to keep positive especially about the small things. then the rays of positivity will begin to shine brighter for you. this song helped me when i was going thru my "dark ages" in 2008.

take a listen.

Today for some weird reason, I snapped at my mom and went in my room and cried. I have no one here to open up to, I'm deeply lonely, I don't talk to people much and I know my isolation isn't helping. I just broke down and cried and idk what I need now, I'm losing my faith in myself and I wonder what God wants me to learn. I just want to fall in my mom's arm cry and tell her to just hold me.. thats all I want is to cry in someone's arms, someone to hear me, acknowledge me... it hurts and I smile it off, but I have to find out why is this happening?

I just wish someone would actually listen, let me confide in them. I'm always motivating people and holding them, encouraging them, telling them it will be okay. my glass is almost empty... I don't know... I'm not even an emotional person. It hurts.. its like I'm alone, often in my room trying to occupy my mind with school but my grades are falling.. I graduate next week but I don't care, I don't have friends are the money to celebrate it, let alone the energy.

I hate to type this long of a message. I'm not trying to get attention but there has been this knawing ache in my soul since my teen years. Ive always felt isolated from the rest of the world, but now.. nothing in my life is right.. its almost like God doesnt hear me anymore.. Ive had some happy moments.. but I feel worthless, hopeless.. like someone else could have done a better job living their life in replacement to me. I honestly, right now wish I never existed... and thats never happened to me before.. Ive never felt that way. Im not suicidal or anything.. I just think I would have been better off never being born. that sounds horrible...

What you are going through is normal. I was doing pretty badly around my grad time as well, but you have to be kind to yourself and pat yourself on the back for making it so far, despite the grades, you still passed. I was hard on myself for that too cause of the first year and a half of studies making my GPA much lower than it would have been though Masters programs will look at the 20 best credits or whatever though I'm still upset it's not all that. We all want someone to hold us, it's only natural, but sometimes when we look for too much validation to feel better about ourselves, like high expectations, even from family, it can be a big let down when it turns out you're not on the recieving end if that makes sense

I was having a really hard day too, I snapped at my family and became paranoid about a few things and was crying on and off before having a long nap all day. It was lack of sleep.

I understand the feeling of not being suicidal but feeling like existing rather than living. You just feel like you want temporary relief or like disappearing for a bit to numb away how you feel, but there are other alternatives to this. Have you learned relaxation at therapy or gone for relaxation therapy itself? I find that doing meditation on the days I could concentrate is like a recess or a break from settling down those thoughts I don't want though the practice comes with time and if you find someone to guide you through it at first.

[Edited 12/2/11 19:31pm]

alphastreet said:

What you are going through is normal. I was doing pretty badly around my grad time as well, but you have to be kind to yourself and pat yourself on the back for making it so far, despite the grades, you still passed. I was hard on myself for that too cause of the first year and a half of studies making my GPA much lower than it would have been though Masters programs will look at the 20 best credits or whatever though I'm still upset it's not all that. We all want someone to hold us, it's only natural, but sometimes when we look for too much validation to feel better about ourselves, like high expectations, even from family, it can be a big let down when it turns out you're not on the recieving end if that makes sense

I was having a really hard day too, I snapped at my family and became paranoid about a few things and was crying on and off before having a long nap all day. It was lack of sleep.

I understand the feeling of not being suicidal but feeling like existing rather than living. You just feel like you want temporary relief or like disappearing for a bit to numb away how you feel, but there are other alternatives to this. Have you learned relaxation at therapy or gone for relaxation therapy itself? NoI find that doing meditation on the days I could concentrate is like a recess or a break from settling down those thoughts I don't want though the practice comes with time and if you find someone to guide you through it at first.

[Edited 12/2/11 19:31pm]

Wow... didn't know that about grad school, same thing happened to me. we do look for validation, why am I coming down so hard on myself.. I am my biggest critique, maybe thats why alot of things arent looking forward in my life. my therapist taught me to breathe in and out, close my eyes and think of a song that reminds me of the happiest point of my life and mine is "He can only hold her ~Amy Winehouse~. but other than that i dont know how to meditate, my therapist said i narrowed down my life to school and home.. therefore I have a hard time getting assignments out of my mind and my friend said I need to relax and not think about it at all... thats hard for me,

free2bfreeda said:

most of all try to keep positive especially about the small things. then the rays of positivity will begin to shine brighter for you. this song helped me when i was going thru my "dark ages" in 2008.

take a listen.

click here: OOH CHILD by The Five Stairsteps

I love that song, thank you I really appreciate thi.

IamFunkay7 said:

alphastreet said:

What you are going through is normal. I was doing pretty badly around my grad time as well, but you have to be kind to yourself and pat yourself on the back for making it so far, despite the grades, you still passed. I was hard on myself for that too cause of the first year and a half of studies making my GPA much lower than it would have been though Masters programs will look at the 20 best credits or whatever though I'm still upset it's not all that. We all want someone to hold us, it's only natural, but sometimes when we look for too much validation to feel better about ourselves, like high expectations, even from family, it can be a big let down when it turns out you're not on the recieving end if that makes sense

I was having a really hard day too, I snapped at my family and became paranoid about a few things and was crying on and off before having a long nap all day. It was lack of sleep.

I understand the feeling of not being suicidal but feeling like existing rather than living. You just feel like you want temporary relief or like disappearing for a bit to numb away how you feel, but there are other alternatives to this. Have you learned relaxation at therapy or gone for relaxation therapy itself? NoI find that doing meditation on the days I could concentrate is like a recess or a break from settling down those thoughts I don't want though the practice comes with time and if you find someone to guide you through it at first.

[Edited 12/2/11 19:31pm]

Wow... didn't know that about grad school, same thing happened to me. we do look for validation, why am I coming down so hard on myself.. I am my biggest critique, maybe thats why alot of things arent looking forward in my life. my therapist taught me to breathe in and out, close my eyes and think of a song that reminds me of the happiest point of my life and mine is "He can only hold her ~Amy Winehouse~. but other than that i dont know how to meditate, my therapist said i narrowed down my life to school and home.. therefore I have a hard time getting assignments out of my mind and my friend said I need to relax and not think about it at all... thats hard for me,

Well, it really depends on the program you choose and where you live and other factors when it comes to looking at your GPA, or the best 10 or 20 of it averaged out. I wish a therapist told me this, but I learned this about myself a couple of years ago when my world fell apart. The reason I felt like crap was because I let work, hobbies, school, and even religion though important to me all define my self-worth and looked to all that for validation, cause I was not getting enough of it when growing up and looked outwards naturally, and I didn't always have a solid ground with those things either though I would try to over compensate for it and stress. I was getting love, but I was not getting emotional support or being told it's okay to not be perfect, which is why I get hard on myself. Maybe it's something similar? I lost a lot of important things a couple of years ago, and nearly gave up my faith too until I realized that in my case, I have to be zen about it and spiritual first, and tell myself I'm okay as I am with or without these things and then it's all secondary. Easier said than done, but we let labels define us too much that once we're stripped naked of them, we feel lost.

I like the idea about a relaxation song, try a relaxation colour as well and letting it run through you when closing your eyes. And also breathe in and out like the therapist suggested.

[Edited 12/2/11 21:26pm]