Dave1992 said:

There's nothing wrong with being a strict parents, having strict rules and expecting your child to obey them (and punishing them if they don't).

But there's a lot of things wrong with enforcing your laws by hurting someone physically, or by earning respect because someone fears you. That's pathetic, horrible, disgusting and simply not what I imagine a truly loving father/mother being able to do.

There have to be other ways. If you can't find them, you're not fit to have children, in my opinion.

Such a strong position.....how many children have you raised?

Wow...Its my daughter's 15th birthday (eyes are welling up) and my husband just walked in and told me that I've done a great job as a mom raising our kids because they are awesome.

StillGotIt said:

Dave1992 said:

There's nothing wrong with being a strict parents, having strict rules and expecting your child to obey them (and punishing them if they don't).

But there's a lot of things wrong with enforcing your laws by hurting someone physically, or by earning respect because someone fears you. That's pathetic, horrible, disgusting and simply not what I imagine a truly loving father/mother being able to do.

There have to be other ways. If you can't find them, you're not fit to have children, in my opinion.

Such a strong position.....how many children have you raised?

Dave is too young to really understand what he's saying.

PurpleJedi said:

StillGotIt said:

Such a strong position.....how many children have you raised?

Dave is too young to really understand what he's saying.

I must admit....the question was a sarcastic set up....he sounds like he's incredibly naive and idealistic about parenting

StillGotIt said:

PurpleJedi said:

Dave is too young to really understand what he's saying.

I must admit....the question was a sarcastic set up....he sounds like he's incredibly naive and idealistic about parenting

I mean, of course everyone is entitled to their opinion...but for me, I'll respect the opinion of someone like Mach, for example, who HAS raised a wonderful, well-adjusted family without spanking and still doesn't go around making such strong & high-brow declarations to the contrary.

But then again I was very vocal and opinionated at his age myself...so...

[Edited 11/5/11 8:22am]

Thank you for the incredible compliment on my Family ~ I am honored

PurpleJedi said:

I mean, of course everyone is entitled to their opinion...but for me, I'll respect the opinion of someone like Mach, for example, who HAS raised a wonderful, well-adjusted family without spanking and still doesn't go around making such strong & high-brow declarations to the contrary.

StillGotIt said:

angel345 said:

As a child, my mother told me I had an habit of wandering off when her back was turned. I also had a habit of playing with matches. My mother gave me one good spanking, set fire to my behind (not literal ) because I set the garbage can on fire. I really deserve that one because that habit was an endangerment to myself and others. We could have been homeless, and lives could have been lost, along with my other neighbors. Had she not correct me, I think I would have been an arsonist

Yea...potentially burning down the house....definitely worth a spanking. you dont get a second chance for that. One of my siblings did burn us out of a home doing dumb shit with a candle.

Wow . Sorry to read this.

StillGotIt said:

Wow...Its my daughter's 15th birthday (eyes are welling up) and my husband just walked in and told me that I've done a great job as a mom raising our kids because they are awesome.

Machaela said:

Thank you for the incredible compliment on my Family ~ I am honored

PurpleJedi said:

I mean, of course everyone is entitled to their opinion...but for me, I'll respect the opinion of someone like Mach, for example, who HAS raised a wonderful, well-adjusted family without spanking and still doesn't go around making such strong & high-brow declarations to the contrary.

What can I say? You're awesome.

My mom gave me a busted lip once so she made me stay home from school. I wasn't a bad kid, but yeah...got belts, hangers, shoes and hard pounding fists...and I'm a lot smaller than her. She does have temper problems.

StillGotIt said:

Dave1992 said:

There's nothing wrong with being a strict parents, having strict rules and expecting your child to obey them (and punishing them if they don't).

But there's a lot of things wrong with enforcing your laws by hurting someone physically, or by earning respect because someone fears you. That's pathetic, horrible, disgusting and simply not what I imagine a truly loving father/mother being able to do.

There have to be other ways. If you can't find them, you're not fit to have children, in my opinion.

Such a strong position.....how many children have you raised?

I haven't raised any children yet, but what does this (and my age) have to do with how well-reasoned my opinion is? It's rather you two who sound a bit naive, because being older or having made mistakes is not an excuse for bad behaviour.

If I ever decide to have children (thinking that I'm fit enough to do it) and they turn out to be such a big pain in the arse that it would make me want to slap them, I sincerely hope that I'll be surrounded by people like the person I am now to stop me from doing it.

PurpleJedi said:

StillGotIt said:

I must admit....the question was a sarcastic set up....he sounds like he's incredibly naive and idealistic about parenting

I mean, of course everyone is entitled to their opinion...but for me, I'll respect the opinion of someone like Mach, for example, who HAS raised a wonderful, well-adjusted family without spanking and still doesn't go around making such strong & high-brow declarations to the contrary.

But then again I was very vocal and opinionated at his age myself...so...

[Edited 11/5/11 8:22am]

How do you think it would feel to your children if they'd hear you saying you don't respect someone's opinion just because they're younger than you are (or because they don't share your opinion)?

I've said it a thousand times already: I met old, experienced people who behaved like total idiots (especially here on the org) and I met young, inexperienced people who didn't have to go through certain experiences to know what their outcome would be, which is quite wise. You'd be lying if you told me you haven't, too.

But I guess it makes you feel stronger, so carry on.

[Edited 11/5/11 11:03am]

One more thing I'd like to share with you: The journey is the reward.

I am striving for the ideal of not hitting anyone (including children), no matter if I think it's possible to still raise a child without doing it or to get through life without showing people that they made me really angry. If I don't manage to, it's still wrong. I'll do my best not to hit anyone. If that's what you call "naive", just because it actually makes sense in a forward-thinking world, then I, for instance, can't take your opinion seriously, no matter how old and wrinkly you are, no matter how many nations you have raised with your bare hands.

wise words , young grasshoppa

free2bfreeda said:

Dewrede said:

I had been trying to get information on this for quite a while tonight , just to be sure i wasn't making any false assumptions and i found this article that supports what you said

http://findarticles.com/p..._13437203/

thanks for posting the link to the article. i found the reading quite interesting.

[Edited 11/4/11 22:09pm]

cool

paintedlady said:

Dewrede said:

^

It seems the majority of the people who agree with corporal punishment that posted on this thread are black

Don't shoot me

[Edited 11/4/11 16:26pm]

Its more of an "Old school vs. New school" thing really.

Many homes in where the parents were raised up with certain traditions and ideals... they may spank the kids.

Rich/poor, black/white, whitecollar/bluecollar.... people spank or do not spank due to ideals they have about child rearing.

i reckon it's both

peacenlovealways said:

My mom gave me a busted lip once so she made me stay home from school. I wasn't a bad kid, but yeah...got belts, hangers, shoes and hard pounding fists...and I'm a lot smaller than her. She does have temper problems.

TonyVanDam said:

Dewrede said:

Not trying to offend anyone but

reading this thread it appears as if corporal punishment for children is more accepted and practiced by blacks than whites , rather than it having to do with region

Not true. I'm strongly convince that the techniques of disciplining child does vary among the differ regions.

The South is a little old-fashioned about it. When a child is unruly, the responsible parent put that child in his/her place with an open hand, a belt, a peddle, or a switch. That's it. End of story.

The link i posted says otherwise and explains why

I think it's both

Dave1992 said:

DexMSR said:

I got the belt. My brother got the belt. And my child will surely get the belt if necessary.

Mom and Dad mixed as much love as they did fear in us and we turned out fine. If you did something that required such punishment, then so be it.

Far too many parents have lost complete control over their chilldren because they won't spank their children. I have seen it first hand how parents become enablers to their childrens off behavior only to become tired, angry, frustrated and depressed at how their child has turned out.

If you instill solid values and they then decide that value system means nothing to them, then they should be punished accordingly.

And Yes...corporal punishment should be back in schools as well. Child services my ass!!! I wish one of them would knock on my door and tell me how to raise my child while prisons are FULL of those that didn't have any parental controls!

And let my child make a "threat" to call child services...I will drop them off at the juvenile detention center MYSELF!!

Holla!

What an absolutely disgrace

Co-sign

That's just uncalled for

Aren't you like 7 ft tall ?

I rest my case

[Edited 11/5/11 13:18pm]

Sad, sad, sad thread.

It's 'normal' tho' that people who have been abused as a child, do it themselves too when they become parents. Of course they defend their incompetence. One of the major reasons why the world is so messed up. Children are raised to use force and violence to get what they want.

It's also 'normal' to justify abusing your children under the guise of 'parenting', because when you have a weak personality it's much easier to make that seem as normal and even "necessary", than admit that you are just a fucked up individual in need of help. Nah, you rather ignore that slapping ANYBODY never is right and keep on living in your little lalala land that it IS right when you do it to your child, under the guise of 'being such a great parent'.

Sorry, but you are NOT a "great parent" and it doesn't matter one iota whether you "think" punishing children pysicially as if they are your property is part of parenting. Your abusing a little defenseless child, period. And this thread proves that MANY of you people do that.

Take note therefore also, all you folks on here who think it's okay to give your child "the belt" or physically absuse them in any other way, under the guise of 'parenting':

There is a way to legally get away with your failure to deal with your kids:

Just make sure your kid won't go to the police before the statute of limitations applies and you will be just fine! However, when your kid doesn't, you may just be prosecuted.

[Edited 11/5/11 11:38am]

Dewrede said:

paintedlady said:

Its more of an "Old school vs. New school" thing really.

Many homes in where the parents were raised up with certain traditions and ideals... they may spank the kids.

Rich/poor, black/white, whitecollar/bluecollar.... people spank or do not spank due to ideals they have about child rearing.

i reckon it's both

I reckon you shouldn't base your opinion about people black or white parents by what you read online... I know people who would squash any theory in that article. Many parents do not use spanking... white and black...

Religion MAYBE... but race? No.

[Edited 11/5/11 13:08pm]

Dave1992 said:

TonyVanDam said:

Well which is worse?

1. A child respecting the parents out of fear.

OR

2. A child disrespecting the parents out of unruliness AND dishonor.

Parents who can't earn respect from their child other than by scaring it.

THAT wasn't the question.

Tremolina said:

Sad, sad, sad thread.

It's 'normal' tho' that people who have been abused as a child, do it themselves too when they become parents. Of course they defend their incompetence. One of the major reasons why the world is so messed up. Children are raised to use force and violence to get what they want.

It's also 'normal' to justify abusing your children under the guise of 'parenting', because when you have a weak personality it's much easier to make that seem as normal and even "necessary", than admit that you are just a fucked up individual in need of help. Nah, you rather ignore that slapping ANYBODY never is right and keep on living in your little lalala land that it IS right when you do it to your child, under the guise of 'being such a great parent'.

Sorry, but you are NOT a "great parent" and it doesn't matter one iota whether you "think" punishing children pysicially as if they are your property is part of parenting. Your abusing a little defenseless child, period. And this thread proves that MANY of you people do that.

Take note therefore also, all you folks on here who think it's okay to give your child "the belt" or physically absuse them in any other way, under the guise of 'parenting':

There is a way to legally get away with your failure to deal with your kids:

Just make sure your kid won't go to the police before the statute of limitations applies and you will be just fine! However, when your kid doesn't, you may just be prosecuted.

[Edited 11/5/11 11:38am]

She apparently posted it after Daddy threatened to cut her off financially and take her Mercedes if she dropped out of school.

I guess being beaten led to attempted blackmail.

paintedlady said:

Dewrede said:

i reckon it's both

I reckon you shouldn't base your opinion about people black or white parents by what you read online... I know people who would squash any theory in that article. Many parents do not use spanking... white and black...

Religion MAYBE... but race? No.

[Edited 11/5/11 13:08pm]

whatever

Dave1992 said:

There's nothing wrong with being a strict parents, having strict rules and expecting your child to obey them (and punishing them if they don't).

But there's a lot of things wrong with enforcing your laws by hurting someone physically, or by earning respect because someone fears you. That's pathetic, horrible, disgusting and simply not what I imagine a truly loving father/mother being able to do.

There have to be other ways. If you can't find them, you're not fit to have children, in my opinion.

For all we know Dave, you might not be fit to be a real parent if you allow children to go unpunished for being a bunch of unruly, disrespectful, and dishonorable brats that think they are "above the law" within the family household AND society in general.

No disrespect, this is real talk.

TonyVanDam said:

Dave1992 said:

Parents who can't earn respect from their child other than by scaring it.

THAT wasn't the question.

There has to be fear... fear based actions rule the world... Why dont you speed in your car? Because you fear a speeding ticket... Why dont you steal? Cuz you fear jail...

There MUST be consequences to every action, I have seen those "time out, lets discuss this" parenting... Its a joke, the child is usually out of contol! But if a child knows its bad behaviour will warrant a punishment of some kind, that is what teaches them how to behave... You dont have to "scare" your child, but it must be aware of the consequences...

And this is in noway saying beat your child...

paintedlady said:

Dewrede said:

^

It seems the majority of the people who agree with corporal punishment that posted on this thread are black

Don't shoot me

[Edited 11/4/11 16:26pm]

Its more of an "Old school vs. New school" thing really.

Many homes in where the parents were raised up with certain traditions and ideals... they may spank the kids.

Rich/poor, black/white, whitecollar/bluecollar.... people spank or do not spank due to ideals they have about child rearing.

Exactly.

tinaz said:

TonyVanDam said:

THAT wasn't the question.

There has to be fear... fear based actions rule the world... Why dont you speed in your car? Because you fear a speeding ticket... Why dont you steal? Cuz you fear jail...

There MUST be consequences to every action, I have seen those "time out, lets discuss this" parenting... Its a joke, the child is usually out of contol! But if a child knows its bad behaviour will warrant a punishment of some kind, that is what teaches them how to behave... You dont have to "scare" your child, but it must be aware of the consequences...

And this is in noway saying beat your child...

Fair enough.

tinaz said:

TonyVanDam said:

THAT wasn't the question.

There has to be fear... fear based actions rule the world... Why dont you speed in your car? Because you fear a speeding ticket... Why dont you steal? Cuz you fear jail...

There MUST be consequences to every action, I have seen those "time out, lets discuss this" parenting... Its a joke, the child is usually out of contol! But if a child knows its bad behaviour will warrant a punishment of some kind, that is what teaches them how to behave... You dont have to "scare" your child, but it must be aware of the consequences...

And this is in noway saying beat your child...

Seriously.

The funny thing is, every time-out based parenting approach that fails is supposedly because "oh well that parent just wasn't doing it right, it really works."

When one spanked child does wrong it's "that because (all) parents that spank their kids can't parent worth a shit".

The failure(s) of one approach is generally looked at as an isolated incident. The failure(s) of the other is applied to ALL who use it.

I feel bad for the kid who grows up and hits someone thinking that person will turn around and issue him a time-out. He's in for a surprise.

But it doesn't matter. Because those parents can sit nice and lofty on their imaginary thrones of self-proclaimed parenting superiority while the world deals with their kid's bullshit.

FauxReal said:

tinaz said:

There has to be fear... fear based actions rule the world... Why dont you speed in your car? Because you fear a speeding ticket... Why dont you steal? Cuz you fear jail...

There MUST be consequences to every action, I have seen those "time out, lets discuss this" parenting... Its a joke, the child is usually out of contol! But if a child knows its bad behaviour will warrant a punishment of some kind, that is what teaches them how to behave... You dont have to "scare" your child, but it must be aware of the consequences...

And this is in noway saying beat your child...

Seriously.

The funny thing is, every time-out based parenting approach that fails is supposedly because "oh well that parent just wasn't doing it right, it really works."

When one spanked child does wrong it's "that because (all) parents that spank their kids can't parent worth a shit".

The failure(s) of one approach is generally looked at as an isolated incident. The failure(s) of the other is applied to ALL who use it.

I feel bad for the kid who grows up and hits someone thinking that person will turn around and issue him a time-out. He's in for a surprise.

But it doesn't matter. Because those parents can sit nice and lofty on their imaginary thrones of self-proclaimed parenting superiority while the world deals with their kid's bullshit.

Agree with EVERY word!!