So yesterday I got a message sent to me on a popular social network from a guy I've never met and have no idea who it is, nobody I know seems to know them either.

I won't repeat exactly what the message said, it wasn't directly malicious but from the content of the message, not only does the person know where I live, but they know the exact apartment too. Basically, they made reference to something very particular on my windowsill.

I'm a little bit freaked out. I ignored the message but made a note of the persons information. I'm pretty private and I don't let many people know where I live. Because the guy obviously knows who I am, that means he could easily find out when I'm not home (like if I'm on tour with the band etc).

Now I'm not sure what to do next. I'm thinking about calling out a locksmith to put locks on the inside doors of my apartment, I'm going to get an intruder alert system.... or I'm wondering if I should just call the landlord and try and move into a different apartment... I live pretty minimally so I could probably get all my stuff moved within a day......but I'm also wondering if that might be an overreaction...

I'm pretty worried. What do you guys think I should do?

Yikes!

I'd treat it seriously, perhaps go down to the police station and ask what they would recommend you do next.

Whoa.

Immediately tell the landlord, see if there are options to move to a different unit ASAP. That's what I would do first, anyway.

Make sure your windows are secure.

Tell the landlord about it, and file a police report. Even if it results in a warning, hopefully that will make a difference. All the best.

do you have a gun?

I would definitely report it. They might be able to track the message and get an IP address, and find out where he lives.

Do that, see what happens, and then figure out what to do. This is to be taken very seriously. Please, I beg you, report it.

I've ignored his message for the time being. And I don't have a gun, they're illegal here! I spoke to my cousin and he said I shouldn't worry too much, at least not for the time being. My sister said to call the police, but I spoke to my dad and he said they might not take it too seriously at this stage being as that no direct threat has been made.

I've reported it to Twitter's harassment team so they may be able to log the IP address. Through some Google sleuthing, I found him elsewhere on the internet and was able to find a few more pictures of him. So I've made a folder on my computer with all his pictures I've been able to find and all the information I know about him.

I'm on a high floor and the windows are double glazed so there's no chance of anyone getting up to them. Still, I'm going to go down to the landlords office in half an hour or so and let them know what's happened and see what they think. If I get any further messages from him along the same lines then I will definitely be thinking about moving to a different apartment. Which I'd really rather not have to do.

I really don't need this stress right now...

Well...is it possible that this is a friend-of-a-friend who wants to get to know you better or something?

Did the message imply any harm?

I think we need more info...

Nowadays they take these threats very seriously. I mean, they even arrested a middle school girl for sending death threats to George Bush on facebook. Which is crazy, but trust me, these are taken very seriously especially if they know where you live. Don't let this person control you and move you out of your apartment. Take matters into your own hands. Just report it because you never know what could happen.

PurpleJedi said:

Well...is it possible that this is a friend-of-a-friend who wants to get to know you better or something?

Did the message imply any harm?

I think we need more info...

No, not possible. None of my friends know this person. I'm thinking it must be somebody that lives near me and must have seen me walking around. It's a fairly big apartment complex with 5 or 6 different buildings and each of the buildings has 30 or 40 apartments. But like I said, they would have had to be paying pretty close attention to know exactly which one I'm in.

The message didn't imply any harm, directly. But the whole subtext of the message was that this random person, who knows I don't know him, is letting me know that he knows EXACTLY where I live. Which, even without any direct threat, is quite scary.

My dad has to deal with the police directly in his job, and he said that at this stage they would probably do nothing about it and just tell me to call them again if anything more serious is said or happens. Which is the problem in this country, the police are reactive and not proactive.

I'm going to go and speak to the landlords and then I'm gonna figure out how I can beef up the security. Perhaps the landlords would be willing to install some extra security or something. Or if not, I will just do it myself.

this happened to me too. my advice, for your peace of mind:, since this type of stuff is, imo, creepy as all hell

move. soon as possible.

arm yourself just in case.

let your attorney/police/family know what is happening

be aware that peopoe you meet are maybe not what/who they seem

good luck

Militant said:

PurpleJedi said:

Well...is it possible that this is a friend-of-a-friend who wants to get to know you better or something?

Did the message imply any harm?

I think we need more info...

No, not possible. None of my friends know this person. I'm thinking it must be somebody that lives near me and must have seen me walking around. It's a fairly big apartment complex with 5 or 6 different buildings and each of the buildings has 30 or 40 apartments. But like I said, they would have had to be paying pretty close attention to know exactly which one I'm in.

The message didn't imply any harm, directly. But the whole subtext of the message was that this random person, who knows I don't know him, is letting me know that he knows EXACTLY where I live. Which, even without any direct threat, is quite scary.

My dad has to deal with the police directly in his job, and he said that at this stage they would probably do nothing about it and just tell me to call them again if anything more serious is said or happens. Which is the problem in this country, the police are reactive and not proactive.

I'm going to go and speak to the landlords and then I'm gonna figure out how I can beef up the security. Perhaps the landlords would be willing to install some extra security or something. Or if not, I will just do it myself.

Yeah...that's creepy as hell.

I'd say at the very least, make sure the curtains are drawn at all times. Watch your back as you come & go. Especially as time goes on (when you tend to get lax).

I dunno what to say...other than BE SAFE.

uhm...there's no chance your EX could be messing w/ you, is there?

Nah, defo not anything to do with the ex. We're on good terms now, plus she lives halfway round the world lol.

I went to see the landlords. They were unhelpful. They said that come next month, there's gonna be more security around here because there's a uni campus nearby that the landlords also own. I'm going to get a CCTV warning sticker and stick it up on the trash chute outside.

And I've got a locksmith coming to fit a lock on the doors inside my apartment to add additional security. Thinking about buying an alarm system too.

I don't think moving is feasible. But if I get any more messages there may not be a choice.

Anyway, I've got a name, pictures and thanks to some Google sleuthing I know where he works too. The page where I found info on him has since been deleted, which is also creeping me out, so it's a good thing I already saved the info.

First, I think you should calm down. Going off half cocked is rarely productive.

From there:

1) Step up your personal security. Definitely make sure you have adequate locks on your abode. Don't leave windows unsecured when you aren't home. Make sure you have a deadbolt on your door - and keep it locked whether you're at home or not.

2) Definitely apprise your landlord of the situation, so he can be on the lookout for this person and keep an eye on your place. (Especially helpful when you aren't at home.)

3) Document everything. Keep records (and copies) of every contact this individual makes with you (assuming it happens again). That way, if you go to the police, you have grounds for a restraining order or other means of getting this person to cease and desist.

4) Do not engage this individual. Don't tell him that you've told your landlord, gone to the police, or anything of the sort. Engaging him damages your case with law enforcement (makes it look like you're an active participant in the communication). It's much better if you've had no contact.

Genesia said:

First, I think you should calm down. Going off half cocked is rarely productive.

From there:

1) Step up your personal security. Definitely make sure you have adequate locks on your abode. Don't leave windows unsecured when you aren't home. Make sure you have a deadbolt on your door - and keep it locked whether you're at home or not.

2) Definitely apprise your landlord of the situation, so he can be on the lookout for this person and keep an eye on your place. (Especially helpful when you aren't at home.)

3) Document everything. Keep records (and copies) of every contact this individual makes with you (assuming it happens again). That way, if you go to the police, you have grounds for a restraining order or other means of getting this person to cease and desist.

4) Do not engage this individual. Don't tell him that you've told your landlord, gone to the police, or anything of the sort. Engaging him damages your case with law enforcement (makes it look like you're an active participant in the communication). It's much better if you've had no contact.

Thanks Genesia. My front door seems pretty secure and I've got a locksmith coming round to secure additional doors in the apartment too. I always keep the windows shut. My landlords are a large company and I just went to the office and they weren't much help. They pretty much said to call the cops if it gets worse. I have been documenting everything and I haven't engaged or responded to them at all. I'm also going to wait a few days and then block this person on the social network. I don't want it seem like I'm antagonizing them by doing it straight away, so I'll wait a while before I do it and then it'll just seem random.

Militant said:

I've ignored his message for the time being. And I don't have a gun, they're illegal here! I spoke to my cousin and he said I shouldn't worry too much, at least not for the time being. My sister said to call the police, but I spoke to my dad and he said they might not take it too seriously at this stage being as that no direct threat has been made.

I've reported it to Twitter's harassment team so they may be able to log the IP address. Through some Google sleuthing, I found him elsewhere on the internet and was able to find a few more pictures of him. So I've made a folder on my computer with all his pictures I've been able to find and all the information I know about him.

I'm on a high floor and the windows are double glazed so there's no chance of anyone getting up to them. Still, I'm going to go down to the landlords office in half an hour or so and let them know what's happened and see what they think. If I get any further messages from him along the same lines then I will definitely be thinking about moving to a different apartment. Which I'd really rather not have to do.

I really don't need this stress right now...

Contact the police, of course, but since you have pictures of him, print those pictures and give a copy to your landlord so he/she can be on the lookout for him. If he is a tenant, the landlord may recognize him right away If he is a visitor of a tenant, the landlord can also show the pictures to the apartment complex's maintenance man. I know as many maintenance problems that my apartment complex has, our maintenance man is all over the place. I actually feel safer about my apartment while I'm at work because he's all over the place and sees everything so check with your maintenance man also because you'd be surprised who they see coming and going.

I know one thing though. I wouldn't let some loony toon scare me into moving. Moving is a big hassle, is extremely tiring, and is also very expensive. Also, if you move, then you've let him win. Contact the police and your landlord and even ask the maintenance man if he's seen him. You could even show the pictures to some of your neighbors and ask if they've seen him around. I think it's just a matter of time before someone has either seen him or knows who he is.

Genesia said:

First, I think you should calm down. Going off half cocked is rarely productive.

From there:

1) Step up your personal security. Definitely make sure you have adequate locks on your abode. Don't leave windows unsecured when you aren't home. Make sure you have a deadbolt on your door - and keep it locked whether you're at home or not.

2) Definitely apprise your landlord of the situation, so he can be on the lookout for this person and keep an eye on your place. (Especially helpful when you aren't at home.)

3) Document everything. Keep records (and copies) of every contact this individual makes with you (assuming it happens again). That way, if you go to the police, you have grounds for a restraining order or other means of getting this person to cease and desist.

4) Do not engage this individual. Don't tell him that you've told your landlord, gone to the police, or anything of the sort. Engaging him damages your case with law enforcement (makes it look like you're an active participant in the communication). It's much better if you've had no contact.

Exactly!

-The whole stalker shit is crazy!

-I have had stalkers too but mostly exboyfriends.

-They do the 'following you with the car' move on me.

-So I take extra spins and turns to try to lose them and more than not i do.

if I have to drive over a sidewalk to lose a stalker, I WILL!!!

-The craziest stalker move I have done to me was one time in the winter, I get up to get the mail, when I open my door and step outside, car tracks were all over my lawn!!

-Another crazy stalker move was when I was at work, we did alot of field work and had to travel to hospitals, well, this crazy ex shows up to one of the hospitals and FOLLOWS me around!!

-I had to get security on his ass!

-The security guard asks my ex, Frank, '"Is there a problem, do you have a problem?"

-Then Frank says, "No sir!!" and then leaves.

-If I could tell all my stalker stories in here, I'll be here for a long time

Damn Casey bro I'm sorry you're going through this. Definitely stay calm and collected. Do what you have to even if it sucks, but don't let fear control the situation.

NMuzakNSoul said:

Damn Casey bro I'm sorry you're going through this. Definitely stay calm and collected. Do what you have to even if it sucks, but don't let fear control the situation.

^-

-Good advice!

-As many crazy stalkers I have had, I have learned that fear was what they wanted me to feel the most, but to their dismay, it gave me more courage than ever before.

-I can';t stand stalkers!

-So much that, I believe in personal privacy very much. I would never go into other people's stuff.

-Some people like to snoop around, like in bathrooms or some girls like to go thru their BF's wallets.

-I will never do shit like that, no matter what.

Do what your gut tells you. If you sincerely feel like this guy is a danger to you then I'd move to a different apartment, def get extra locks and be aware of your surroundings at all times. Lots of crazy people out there and you don't want to take any chances. Hopefully the dude is just being a jerk and will go away.

Whether or not the cops take it too seriously at this stage doesn't matter. You should report it so that it's been documented should (hopefully not ) this continue or god-forbid escalate in any way.

JerseyKRS said:

I wasn't trying to be funny, I was serious. do you have a gun? all the other advice is awesome and should absolutely be followed. however, nothing can provide the "at the moment" protection of arming yourself IMO. it takes time for anyone to arrive, too much time if someone is bent on injuring you. I realize that not everyone shares that view though. I also know that not everyone can actually go through with shooting someone, so that would pose a problem, too. that's why I asked, though.

Instead, you should get a taser. Because you won't actually severely injure or possibly kill someone, but tasers are really painful and you can have definite control and defense with that.

JerseyKRS said:

a tazer may help as long as the assailant doesn't have a firearm, or is so jacked on drugs that he can still attack you. I know my view isn't a popular one, but if you're in my home.....i'm shooting to kill, plain and simple. if you're not my family, you shouldn't be in there. I'm going to assume you're there to harm me and my family. while carrying outside my home, you have to use more discretion of course. however, still.....if you're about to harm me or my family, I will empty my clip stopping you.

^agree. once you've had an 'intruder' who busts into your personal space, that's a line that cannot be uncrossed. it's a good idea to assume the stalker is nuts. good idea to be prepared.

Dude, I absolutely agree. But it remains... firearms are completely illegal here for any use. Even self defence. You can't go to a store and buy one. You can buy them in the hood of course.... but if the cops come to your house for any reason and see it, you'll get arrested, even if you've done nothing wrong, on posession of a deadly and illegal weapon charge.

I woulda BEEN had one if that weren't the case.

Luckily that also means it's unlikely an assailant will have one, either. I will look into getting some kind of taser. I'm not so worried about being attacked when I'm here as I'm sure I could defend myself reasonably well. I'm worried about any potential opportunists finding out that I might not be home.

Anyway, the locksmith just left and now I have an extra level of security, so that's good. I feel a bit more at ease now and am now going to look into some sort of monitoring system.

You should definitely get a taser then.