CarrieMpls said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Why is a woman having an income such a top priority?

Make sme kinda sad. What happened to the days where the woman takes care of the household and the man brings home the bacon????

Fuck this working shit. I'm glad I'm done in December. It's for the birds.

To each his own, but I MYSELF feel like less of a woman now that I'm working.

I don't believe that. You might be frustrated with a situation or circumstances right now, but I don't believe that working makes you feel less of a woman for one second. Think of the self-esteem working has given you, being able to provide for your children, etc. I can't think of anything more womanly than being a good mother, which means taking care of your kids in every way you can providing an income to do so as needed.

True.

I guess I just also miss the days where I could be there for every single event at school. Be there to get my kids off the bus and have dinner ready for them when they got home etc.

You're right I'm probably just exhausted with the day to day crazy routine at this moment. It didn't seem quite this bad last year.

I am proud that I'm able to provide for them.

Okay FFS I can admit when I'm wrong.

'Less of a woman' was a little dramatic.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Okay FFS I can admit when I'm wrong.

'Less of a woman' was a little dramatic.

girl, you know

you can't have your own opinion

unless it's org approved

orger said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Okay FFS I can admit when I'm wrong.

'Less of a woman' was a little dramatic.

girl, you know

you can't have your own opinion

unless it's org approved

You understood what I meant though.

I felt more fulfilled as a woman when I was able to get up and make a home cooked breakfast, go to the bus stop, hit the gym, run to the grocery store, get home in time to have the house spotless, the food cooked, and lookin' as pretty as ever when everyone walked through the door.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

orger said:

girl, you know

you can't have your own opinion

unless it's org approved

You understood what I meant though.

I felt more fulfilled as a woman when I was able to get up and make a home cooked breakfast, go to the bus stop, hit the gym, run to the grocery store, get home in time to have the house spotless, the food cooked, and lookin' as pretty as ever when everyone walked through the door.

I knew exactly what you meant

like anyone of reason would

and I bet you never had

unicorn zits

when you stayed at home

TotalANXiousNESS said:

orger said:

girl, you know

you can't have your own opinion

unless it's org approved

You understood what I meant though.

I felt more fulfilled as a woman when I was able to get up and make a home cooked breakfast, go to the bus stop, hit the gym, run to the grocery store, get home in time to have the house spotless, the food cooked, and lookin' as pretty as ever when everyone walked through the door.

I don't have kids, so maybe that's part of it. When I was with my ex I did all of those things for him and worked. The fulfillment I get from my career is just as important as the fulfillment I got from taking care of my man in a most traditional way.

Shoewhore said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

You understood what I meant though.

I felt more fulfilled as a woman when I was able to get up and make a home cooked breakfast, go to the bus stop, hit the gym, run to the grocery store, get home in time to have the house spotless, the food cooked, and lookin' as pretty as ever when everyone walked through the door.

I don't have kids, so maybe that's part of it. When I was with my ex I did all of those things for him and worked. The fulfillment I get from my career is just as important as the fulfillment I got from taking care of my man in a most traditional way.

I was gonna say, I do that every day, but work too.

I don’t have kids, though.

I’ve thought about not working and being a stay-at-home mom (if I ever had kids) but I think I would be too scared of what would happen if my husband died, left, etc. I don’t like the idea of relying on anyone else for my care and well being. I love the idea of helping and taking care of each other, but I can’t imagine starting over in my career or whatever if that person were suddenly gone.

orger said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

You understood what I meant though.

I felt more fulfilled as a woman when I was able to get up and make a home cooked breakfast, go to the bus stop, hit the gym, run to the grocery store, get home in time to have the house spotless, the food cooked, and lookin' as pretty as ever when everyone walked through the door.

I knew exactly what you meant

like anyone of reason would

and I bet you never had

unicorn zits

when you stayed at home

Carrie and Shoewhore, you's have REAL jobs I'm assuming too. When I'm at work I feel like I'm waisting my day away.

I give props to working moms, I really do. I like to play with my kids when they get home from school, and on weekends. It's hard having 2 1/2 - 3 hrs a night to get dinner done, homework, baths and ready for bed, and the whole time you feel grossed out about the dishes laying in the sink from this morning yet.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Why is a woman having an income such a top priority?

Make sme kinda sad. What happened to the days where the woman takes care of the household and the man brings home the bacon????

Fuck this working shit. I'm glad I'm done in December. It's for the birds.

To each his own, but I MYSELF feel like less of a woman now that I'm working.

THAT idea died before the 1990's. Why do you think soap operas in the USA have been cancel in recent years?

In order for people to survive in the current state of a lousy economy, men AND women must "bring home the bacon".

TonyVanDam said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Why is a woman having an income such a top priority?

Make sme kinda sad. What happened to the days where the woman takes care of the household and the man brings home the bacon????

Fuck this working shit. I'm glad I'm done in December. It's for the birds.

To each his own, but I MYSELF feel like less of a woman now that I'm working.

THAT idea died before the 1990's. Why do you think soap operas in the USA have been cancel in recent years?

In order for people to survive in the current state of a lousy economy, men AND women must "bring home the bacon".

True, unless the man is making a six-figure salary.

TonyVanDam said:

chocolate1 said:

Well damn.

I am a beast in the sheets, make a decent salary, and can cook my ass off, but #5... about that.

If that's a deal breaker, then the man you speak of is missing out on a good woman.

Don't get it twisted. A man in general wants to have a son and/or a daughter.

So women like me are supposed to be alone?

YOU don't get it twisted... your comment was rude.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Why is a woman having an income such a top priority?

Make sme kinda sad. What happened to the days where the woman takes care of the household and the man brings home the bacon????

Fuck this working shit. I'm glad I'm done in December. It's for the birds.

To each his own, but I MYSELF feel like less of a woman now that I'm working.

Agreed! I hate the feel of being worn the fuck out at the end of my day, to have little time for my children. Just waking them up and putting them to bed and working hard all the live long day sucks!

I am sooo glad I am home with my kids, while kids are young they take so much more than a paycheck to take care of, they need you their mentally AND emotionally. Now when my kids are a bit older I'll be able to work and come home AND feel accomplished. But that "supermom" crap feels exactly like shoveling shit against the tide. Its like your working hard and things just get worse or stay the same, with zero progress and resentful kids wanting more time.

There is no worse feeling than having your child call a nursery worker "mommy".

Any job/money takes a back seat to nurturing my kids. I did the 90 hour weeks, pressed and dressed to a "T" and ran shit, just to come home to collaspe over my son. Never again. I may be broke, but I get to laugh and play with my children, I get to share the best moments of their days and that is worth more to me than any statement bag. I work part-time, just enough to get us by and live leaner, but it has taught me valuable life lessons.

I encourage any mom to enjoy mommy hood and keep work as a major back seat. Kids are only young for a short while... enjoy them while they are young then they get older and then its back to the grind. Back to the fast paced competitive world that you can focus all your ass kicking abitlities on... 1000000000% !

TonyVanDam said:

In no specific order.....

1. a companionship.

2. sex.

3. a homecook meal.

4. a "help meek" (a partner that also makes money).

5. the ability the have children for her man.

EDIT: #5 is optional for some.

[Edited 10/19/10 7:45am]

I want GOOD sex and I can cook. And I will if she does the dishes. Children are not a neccesity. Trust is.

chocolate1 said:

TonyVanDam said:

Don't get it twisted. A man in general wants to have a son and/or a daughter.

So women like me are supposed to be alone?

YOU don't get it twisted... your comment was rude.

I honestly do not think all men want children with women. In many cases, the men in our age group that are divorced and going for love the second time around want NO part with children. In this case you make the ideal woman.

Shoewhore said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

You understood what I meant though.

I felt more fulfilled as a woman when I was able to get up and make a home cooked breakfast, go to the bus stop, hit the gym, run to the grocery store, get home in time to have the house spotless, the food cooked, and lookin' as pretty as ever when everyone walked through the door.

I don't have kids, so maybe that's part of it. When I was with my ex I did all of those things for him and worked. The fulfillment I get from my career is just as important as the fulfillment I got from taking care of my man in a most traditional way.

I know, I need both worlds actually. I need my "Metropolitan Home/Essence/Real Simple/Country Living/Streetwear International" life to meet smack dab in the middle with "The Economist".

paintedlady said:

chocolate1 said:

So women like me are supposed to be alone?

YOU don't get it twisted... your comment was rude.

I honestly do not think all men want children with women. In many cases, the men in our age group that are divorced and going for love the second time around want NO part with children. In this case you make the ideal woman.

Never had the desire to be a father - too much damn work. It's a financial and emotional burden that I do not want. I love being an uncle, but after a few hours, I'm like, "go to your mommy and daddy!"

uPtoWnNY said:

paintedlady said:

I honestly do not think all men want children with women. In many cases, the men in our age group that are divorced and going for love the second time around want NO part with children. In this case you make the ideal woman.

Never had the desire to be a father - too much damn work. It's a financial and emotional burden that I do not want. I love being an uncle, but after a few hours, I'm like, "go to your mommy and daddy!"

See! Like I said... and he's ^^^ yummy!

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Okay FFS I can admit when I'm wrong.

'Less of a woman' was a little dramatic.

Not at all... I get you. I AM a mom and I get that statement 1000% and no, I don't want a man taking care of me, I just do not like feeling beat down at the end of my day.

paintedlady said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Why is a woman having an income such a top priority?

Make sme kinda sad. What happened to the days where the woman takes care of the household and the man brings home the bacon????

Fuck this working shit. I'm glad I'm done in December. It's for the birds.

To each his own, but I MYSELF feel like less of a woman now that I'm working.

Agreed! I hate the feel of being worn the fuck out at the end of my day, to have little time for my children. Just waking them up and putting them to bed and working hard all the live long day sucks!

I am sooo glad I am home with my kids, while kids are young they take so much more than a paycheck to take care of, they need you their mentally AND emotionally. Now when my kids are a bit older I'll be able to work and come home AND feel accomplished. But that "supermom" crap feels exactly like shoveling shit against the tide. Its like your working hard and things just get worse or stay the same, with zero progress and resentful kids wanting more time.

There is no worse feeling than having your child call a nursery worker "mommy".

Any job/money takes a back seat to nurturing my kids. I did the 90 hour weeks, pressed and dressed to a "T" and ran shit, just to come home to collaspe over my son. Never again. I may be broke, but I get to laugh and play with my children, I get to share the best moments of their days and that is worth more to me than any statement bag. I work part-time, just enough to get us by and live leaner, but it has taught me valuable life lessons.

I encourage any mom to enjoy mommy hood and keep work as a major back seat. Kids are only young for a short while... enjoy them while they are young then they get older and then its back to the grind. Back to the fast paced competitive world that you can focus all your ass kicking abitlities on... 1000000000% !

Are the two of you now saying that all that female emancipation of being equal, being your own man/woman, making your own money, having your own job, is not your cup of tea? All that is what a lot of women still want these days. They want to study, work and be independent, have a succesfull carreer, besides that they also want to be a mother, and go out and have lots have friends, and go on a vacations, and have hobbies AND be your partner/girlfriend/wife....

--

[Edited 10/19/10 9:48am]

Tremolina said:

TonyVanDam said:

In no specific order.....

1. a companionship.

2. sex.

3. a homecook meal.

4. a "help meek" (a partner that also makes money).

5. the ability the have children for her man.

EDIT: #5 is optional for some.

[Edited 10/19/10 7:45am]

I want GOOD sex and I can cook. And I will if she does the dishes. Children are not a neccesity. Trust is.

another yummy man weighs in.... just saying....

TotalANXiousNESS said:

orger said:

I knew exactly what you meant

like anyone of reason would

and I bet you never had

unicorn zits

when you stayed at home

Carrie and Shoewhore, you's have REAL jobs I'm assuming too. When I'm at work I feel like I'm waisting my day away.

I give props to working moms, I really do. I like to play with my kids when they get home from school, and on weekends. It's hard having 2 1/2 - 3 hrs a night to get dinner done, homework, baths and ready for bed, and the whole time you feel grossed out about the dishes laying in the sink from this morning yet.

imo there is nothing to be ashamed about if you prefer to stay home and adopt what is considered a more 'traditional' role in the home. it actually sounds kind of charming, like that might be fun. i've never tried it so i couldn't say if i'd be happier staying home. good for you

paintedlady said:

Tremolina said:

I want GOOD sex and I can cook. And I will if she does the dishes. Children are not a neccesity. Trust is.

another yummy man weighs in.... just saying....

Most women I have know were not like that tho'. ..

--

[Edited 10/19/10 9:53am]

in order

1.AFFINITY: living/fucking with a specific woman who is, in theory, the closest thing to a female version of that specific man. In other words, the possibility of fucking/living with your female alter ego, and that's pretty cool...that's why many men look for a compatible/similar woman...

2.daily sex (hopefully)

3.money (a partner who also makes money)

4.the natural (& uncouncious, or not) substitute of the mother and/or sister...

not sure if men truly/deeply want children...

[Edited 10/19/10 9:57am]

chocolate1 said:

TonyVanDam said:

Don't get it twisted. A man in general wants to have a son and/or a daughter.

So women like me are supposed to be alone?

YOU don't get it twisted... your comment was rude.

I just read you orgnote. I was not aware of any specific details. Please accept my apology.

Tremolina said:

paintedlady said:

Agreed! I hate the feel of being worn the fuck out at the end of my day, to have little time for my children. Just waking them up and putting them to bed and working hard all the live long day sucks!

I am sooo glad I am home with my kids, while kids are young they take so much more than a paycheck to take care of, they need you their mentally AND emotionally. Now when my kids are a bit older I'll be able to work and come home AND feel accomplished. But that "supermom" crap feels exactly like shoveling shit against the tide. Its like your working hard and things just get worse or stay the same, with zero progress and resentful kids wanting more time.

There is no worse feeling than having your child call a nursery worker "mommy".

Any job/money takes a back seat to nurturing my kids. I did the 90 hour weeks, pressed and dressed to a "T" and ran shit, just to come home to collaspe over my son. Never again. I may be broke, but I get to laugh and play with my children, I get to share the best moments of their days and that is worth more to me than any statement bag. I work part-time, just enough to get us by and live leaner, but it has taught me valuable life lessons.

I encourage any mom to enjoy mommy hood and keep work as a major back seat. Kids are only young for a short while... enjoy them while they are young then they get older and then its back to the grind. Back to the fast paced competitive world that you can focus all your ass kicking abitlities on... 1000000000% !

Are the two of you now saying that all that female emancipation of being equal, being your own man/woman, making your own money, having your own job, is not your cup of tea? All that is what a lot of women still want these days. They want to study, work and be independent, have a succesfull carreer, besides that they also want to be a mother, and go out and have lots have friends, and go on a vacations, and have hobbies AND be your partner/girlfriend/wife....

--

[Edited 10/19/10 9:48am]

All I can say is that, being successful at the workplace didn't make me feel more like a woman.

I felt more womanly when I laughed with my children and had full days with them instead of the rushing back and forth in both worlds. Because honestly I was not happy being un-able to give full focus to either one.

I hated being at work and having my mind on my son, or vice versa. I also had no support at home with the kids when I got home. The kids and all that was home stuff was dumped on me as soon as I walked in the door. It was unfair. I was the main bread winner AND I had to cook and clean too. I was worn out.

I sued and collect child support and stay home and now work when I want to. I am the happiest I've even been because the kids give me a true sense of joy and accomplishment.

That is the truth, I like fancy things, sure.. but they are not as important to me as living a totally stress free life. To have both would be ideal but I would rather be poor and spend my days with my kids anyday than earn what I did and spend virtually no time with my kids.

Many may disagree, but that is MY truth.

uPtoWnNY said:

TonyVanDam said:

THAT idea died before the 1990's. Why do you think soap operas in the USA have been cancel in recent years?

In order for people to survive in the current state of a lousy economy, men AND women must "bring home the bacon".

True, unless the man is making a six-figure salary.

That doesn't mean anything. A woman needs to pull her finanical weight as well.

Just saying.

Well said Paintedlady. I feel the same way you do.

JoeTyler said:

in order

1.AFFINITY: living/fucking with a specific woman who is, in theory, the closest thing to a female version of that specific man. In other words, the possibility of fucking/living with your female alter ego, and that's pretty cool...that's why many men look for a compatible/similar woman...

2.daily sex (hopefully)

3.money (a partner who also makes money)

4.the natural (& uncouncious, or not) substitute of the mother and/or sister...

not sure if men truly/deeply want children...

[Edited 10/19/10 9:57am]

If I were to guess what MEN want... this ^^^would be it.

Liking the "idea" of children and actually having them are two separate things all together.

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Well said Paintedlady. I feel the same way you do.

Mind you, I did really like my job, I enjoyed it! If I didn't have kids I would feel accomplished just making new strides at my job.... I was a tailor for men's suits.. I saw men in their undies daily.

I LOVED my job. I love men!

paintedlady said:

TotalANXiousNESS said:

Well said Paintedlady. I feel the same way you do.

Mind you, I did really like my job, I enjoyed it! If I didn't have kids I would feel accomplished just making new strides at my job.... I was a tailor for men's suits.. I saw men in their undies daily.

I LOVED my job. I love men!

I'm just thankful I got to stay home with mine until they went of to KG, (well I started working a few months before my youngest went to kg) but those were the sweetest days of my life and I wouldn't trade them in for anything.