at what age do you give the ok for your kids to have sex and you feel somewhat comfortable with it?
[Edited 1/31/10 12:39pm]
[Edited 1/31/10 12:49pm]

I am aware of what my kids levels of sexual activity is/was

I have been honest with them and eduated them in pros and cons and everything inbetween

it's not so much about age as it is maturity and knowledge ( we're talking Teenagers ~ my only one left is 18 )

I am comfortable that I have done my very very best to educate them on the reality of sexual choices ~ I trust them to make independent and educated choices while also being aware that hroemones run deep and strong

so I can not answer your question really - it's a case by case situation ...

sex is normal and natural and IS going to happen

My daughter is 16, if it were up to me she would never have sex but I know that's not reality. Every time I have asked her if she is sexually active she responds with the same answer that she is not ready for it. Like Mach I have educated her on the subject and I just hope she takes my advice

Never.

I agree with Mach line of thought.

I kept an open line communication about sex and tried to be as open, honest, and positive as I could. I told her there was nothing she couldn't ask me and if she had any inkling she wanted to become sexual active she and I would go about making sure she could get birth control to prevent pregnancy and guard against STD's. Being realistic, before she left for university birth control went with her.

=====
[Edited 1/31/10 16:19pm]

my mum always told me or my sister

you can have sex under my roof

a) once you have turned 21
or
b) attained your bachelor's degree

whichever comes first

It's best to educate them about safe sex.

It's going to happen sooner or later.

ZombieKitten said:

I concur.
I'll also add if she not good enough to meet Mommy she's not good enough.

littlemissG said:

and I would also add "try me"
I'd like to think of myself as very open minded and accepting

Mach said:

I wish more people could have Moms like you.

Vendetta1 said:

My daughter is still young, but I'm gonna advocate that.

My oldest is 14...he is SO not ready for sex...

He has ADHD and when not on his meds...a real ass-clown I love my son like crazy...but he is a real pain ...sex for him should be when he is at least 17 or older...who knows....

My two younger children have a few years to go...my daughter will be 12 this year and she is very immature for her age...I know a few of you and your kids were definately more "aware" at that age than mine...I think it is their mother's fault...gotta be...

My youngest son though....let's just say he is a different story...9 and very popular...

To answer the question if I haven't already...at this rate...NEVER!

pardonme4livin said:

mine is 9, but I have that same concern with the ADHD....the maturity level is just so far behind, that I feel that even if I explain it, he just won't really get what I am trying to say. I already have a hard time expalining about how to treat adults with respect *bangs head*

I like ass-clown, the word I use sometimes also starts with ass....LOL (but never to his face)

I also can't quite decide if he's gay or just ultra-effeminate so I don't know which talk to have. I'm also thinking he might be a little sado-masochist.

you know what, I might have to slap a chastity belt on his lil pee-pee.....

ZombieKitten said:

My Mom didn't talk to me about sex ~ nor about my periods

That was not a family trait I wanted to pass down

meow85 said:

It was something I had to work hard at ~ I did not have that role modeled by my Mom BUT it was something I wanted to do as a Mother

BklynBabe said:

BklynBabe said:

One of my son's underlying issues is his impulsivity....which again, relating to sex, scares the shit out of me...he definately likes girls...but has no game, so that helps....

Mach said:

it was the same with my mom. i was scared to death and thought I was dying when I started my period. She never once bought feminine products for me ever.

i gave my daughter "the talk" about everything at 12 years old. She is going to ultimately do what she wants to but i would not green-light her to have sex, ever. I do want her repeating my mistakes.

Vendetta1 said:

Thanks for the pointers... my wife and I were trying to figure out when's a good time...

for me personally....I don't think it's ever ok to give the "OK" to your kids about having sex. talk to them about it, sure. Be open that it is and will happen, sure. Accept it when it does happen, sure. But give the OK? just seems weird to me.

Vendetta1 said:

I also shared my experiences with my daughters ( when age appropriate ) all of them, positive and negitive

there is an amount of power in words comming from your mother when she is honest enough to share/admit her negitive experiences, such as rape ~ pregnancy and so on

Shorty said:

well...I would talk to my daughter about the pill by 12 or 13 years old and put her on it no later than 15 years old. Is that in a sense giving the OK? I guess so...but it's just more of an acceptance thing to me.

oops...I meant to just edit my last comment, now it looks like I'm talking to myself. ahh..I don't that anyway.
[Edited 2/1/10 11:21am]

Mach said:

my mum wanted to take me to the doc to put me on the pill at the age of 18
I cried and cried, since I'd not even been kissed yet!

...
[Edited 2/1/10 18:55pm]

Oh... sorry read your question wrong. I never gave the OK for my son to have sex. I assume they will in time, so I encouraged masturbation in order for him NOT to have sex so soon.

I think he started having sex a year ago when he was 18.

Shorty said:

Great point! When should a mother start her child on birth control if at all?
I am concerned for my daughter... I don't think taking hormones so soon is not good for her body.

paintedlady said:

as a male. that's just

RenHoek said:

Some of these girls are FAST! So um yeah....

I had to teach him how to do his own laundry after that though.

paintedlady said:

I put my daughter on the shot and not pills at 14. Too many of her friends have babies already. i have explained to her that that is not an okay for her to go out and have sex but that i do not want her to become a teen parent because I ain't raising no more fucking kids.