I don't get angry often. As a matter of fact, it's been a while since I've
been REALLY angry.

But when I do get angry, I end up saying and doing very hurtful things.

The funny thing is that I don't "blank" out and end up not realizing what
I say or do. I very much realize what I'm saying or doing as I'm lashing
out at somebody. I very much know at that very moment that I'm hurting them.

but it's like an itch I can't get rid of unless I scratch at it mercilessly.
What I truly hate about this is that I consider it a sign of immaturity.
I would never do it to my family, and certainly never to my nephews. So,
obviously, I have some self-control over destructive forms of expression.

Yet, I allow myself to be a complete ass when I shouldn't. Today, I had
an opportunity to pretty much tear someone to shreds, but opted not to
due to time and the fact that I had a lot of other things to think about.

But thinking back on the moment earlier today, I came to realize that it
was never anything worth escalating to that level anyways. It was all ego
stroking and my sticking to rigid principles instead of being flexible.

The conversation earlier with this person could have gone very very badly
if I had chosen to.

I think I'll meditate on this a while and figure out what's going on in my
brain. Obviously, I have some growing up to do.


Do any of you guys get 'mean-angry' ?

FIRST!

And good luck!

I think it's awesome that you stopped yourself.

And yes, I get "mean-angry". But I found out that's a by-product of diabetes.

In general, no. It's very rare that I get mean-angry. Usually it means I'm feeling physically threatened (like in the midst of a NIN mosh pit, or that time I tried to break up a bar fight and got hit in the eye) and then I want to push or shove people, not say something hurtful. Though I might swear or something. And wow, it's really, really rare for me.

I'm not sure I CAN consciously and purposefully say something hurtful to someone. It would almost hurt me worse, I'd feel so badly about it. Even if I'm really, really angry.

Imago said:

stfu!!!! of course i do not!!! you ARE the only human who does this!!!!*













*okay, sometimes i am cranky/mean when i am 1) sleep-deprived, or 2) hungry. my blood sugar drops and poof! i have no patience whatsoever.

RodeoSchro said:

CarrieMpls said:

Oh Honey

You can start by locking this thread: http://prince.org/msg/15/325859
but saying something very direct to the poster before it gets locked.
I hate that thread sooooo much




GROUP. HUG.

RodeoSchro said:

-they say that about high blood pressure too...

ooo, sometimes i could just stamp my little feet!

XxAxX said:

Imago said:

I don't mod that forum.

No. I will go off on someone but I'm always mindful of what I say. Some things can't be taken back once you say them.

I don't really believe in the "blanking" out. I think that's an excuse. People know they're saying when they're trying to be hurtful. There's intent and purpose.
[Edited 12/11/09 5:56am]

johnart said:

I love bottoms

XxAxX said:

Oh I get SUPER crabby if I am either of the above.

But still not consciously mean. I try hard not to let my crabbiness show through.

I have GOT to run down the street before they lock the west gate entrance to grab some food. I'll be back in 30-40 minutes.

Please don't post anything stupid in the meantime.
[Edited 12/11/09 5:56am]

Imago said:

Imago said:

ha. i got there first and ate ALLLLL the christmas peeps. too bad for you

Imago said:

is it wrong of me to find this guy kinda hot?? maybe i'm just horny

crap. must sign off and get to work.

carry on ...

Imago said:

I love a challenge.

CarrieMpls said:

i can't imagine you being flat out mean

Being brutally mean when angry used to be a major problem for me. I'm not as bad now...I just think these thoughts now but don't verbalize them.

so do you look for opportunites to blow up cause ordinarily you dont feel like you are in control???..or do you feel you were attacked directly???

Imago said:

Oh, ok, I'll wait til you get back....

Story of my life, kid...

It's genetic, too. Everyone in my family, We are like the nicest mean folk you can meet. Passive-aggressive, and probably bipolar. Sometimes I can't even stand myself!

I work hard to try to contain as much of it as I can, but I have too much too deal with, then it becomes a problem, But I am really trying, because it has started to affect my physical and mental health. I have to learn to relax and not let stupid shit get to me. It sounds so simple, but yet....

i can't get truly angry. ever. my anger always internalises
into selfdestructive behaviour.

which is just as much a problem i guess.

i did a role play about this with a psychologist a few times
and at the end of the session i sensed that he was angry and
i was still in my "oh, yes, you're being mean to me, well,
that's life"

XxAxX said:

Me too!

RodeoSchro said:

What!?! Are you being serious??

Lammastide said:

Yup. Hypoglycemia can make you act totally out of character.

My hypoglycemic "mean-angry" is usually directed at myself.

Genesia said:

I once went cookoo for cocoa puffs when my sugar dropped dangerously low due to a medical treatment and when my mom tried to "snap" me out of it with a slap I slapped her back . I'd never in my life been restrained to a stretcher/bed. It was all kinds of fucked up. Part of me could tell some nonsensical shit was coming out my mouth but oops there it went and I could not stop it. Then I called Ron from my hospital bed when my sugar dropped again a few days later with an elaborate plan on how to break me out to go to a drag show. Ok, that part sounds like something I'd actually do but I was once again talkin crazy shit. A nurse had to come in and straddle me (yes straddle) and shove some urrrrnj juice in me.

But medical reasons are different. Some people just wanna be mean fucks and then be all "oh, I couldn't help myself". Bulllllshit. No.
[Edited 12/11/09 6:54am]