Stymie said:

but thats my point, if you could handle it, then surely many other women (who may not even be aware of their own strength) could...right?


or are you just that bad ass

Stymie said:

beautiful women are all over the place, of course he's gonna find them attractive...I've talked with boyfriends all the time about other beautiful women and they found it strange of me to do that, but maybe that's why I got along so well with them cause they felt comfortable around me to tell me what they thought was fine...I've even cracked jokes with boyfriends and said 'look, she's pretty ..want me to go get her for you?' ... but when the lying starts .. the relationship is over...trust is gone.. after lying, comes cheating. . I'd rather he say what SirPsycho just said.. 'look honey, I love you, but I want to see other people'.. words edit
[Edited 10/21/08 18:08pm]

SirPsycho said:

Of course I'm bad ass.

Honestly, and I know some org women won't like this either, but I'd be more hurt by my hypothetical man falling in love with someone else than just fucking her.

Stymie said:

awwwww

your a romantic you are

SirPsycho said:

Nah, org motherfuckers killed the romance in me.

Stymie said:

well duh, cause that would be the end of it why should he stick around with you if he was in love with someone else?

Stymie said:

that's a hard situation.. does he really love me? .. when the cheating comes.. that's a whole other ball game and I'd have to re-evaluate why I loved him, is he really worth it? folks do forgive each other for cheating.. but if it's a habit, that's a problem..

ZombieKitten said:

you got me there.

Stymie said:

but I think that scenario is probably a bit different. Something like that can happen to anyone, they can fall in love (or think they did) without necessarily going out in search for it. Then it's up to them on whether they decide to pursue it or not. Tough one!!!

ZombieKitten said:

emotional cheating is worse to me.

Stymie said:

So if someone falls in love with someone else, but doesn't tell them and doesn't act on it, is that cheating?

ZombieKitten said:

i'm not necessarily talking about falling in love. i mean sharing things with a person who is not your spouse or SO.

Stymie said:

ah OK

If I were in a monogamous relationship and somebody told me that they had fucked around BEFORE the next time we had sex, so my health wasn't at risk, I'd appreciate their honesty and be willing to talk about what happened and where to go from there. For sure. Shit happens. Life is sexy. No big deal.

If they lied to me about it for any length of time and/or put my health at risk though, I'd be done with 'em. Trust is key.


The lying also affects the relationship beyond it's romantic lifespan. I'm friends will ALL of my exes, except one. The one who lied to me for 6 months about being in love with somebody else. I KNEW, but she wouldn't admit it. I left her, and never intend to speak to her again.

veronikka said:

Spoken by a true Latina!!

Damn, your avatar is spooky...

Bite me!

as i've gotten older it's become less important to me

having said that... i'd still never cheat... because that's who i want to be

i'm not responsible for another person's actions though... if they cheat it's more a reflection on them than it is on me.... so if i split it would be out of losing respect for them... rather than jealousy or hurt

ZombieKitten said:

In that case I'm having an affair with the org
I tell you guys stuff I would never bring up with the master, lest he give me that blank stare I hate so much.

nah, cheating is no reason to break up.....

i'll just wait here until he comes back and have sex with everybody he had sex with. hopefully he'll bathe.

I used to think whoever did it was a dog, but I can see how it looks like cheating if they weren't getting what they wanted in the previous relationship or if conflict kept continuing and was taking an emotional toll on the person targeted. Of course they will be drawn to someone who treats them better and it could grow into something, although society will dog them for cheating.

evenstar3 said:

I feel like there's a really short time when I am first with someone where I actually don't look at other women. But it's only for about a week

It's basic human nature to be attracted to people. Doesn't mean you have to act on it, but it's like trying to turn off hunger. Just because we've had salad doesn't mean we don't want some bread, too! We are just respectul of salad's feelings.

DexMSR said:

Explain "serious relationship" outside of what we have

cuz see I know no one person can be another persons 100% need filler

so - serious relationships are okay by me - close friends - people, women that can be part of his life that I am not nor do not want to be

example

lets say it's ummm football season and TR has a great female friend that really digs football like he might - so they trip out with some peeps or to a sports bar or something to watch a game have some beers talk laugh whatever - that's all fine by me cuz I sure as hell am not interested in that shit

Double post sorry
[Edited 10/22/08 11:59am]

DexMSR said:

Regardless cheating is cheating...PERIOD!!!I have been cheated on and the trust part is broken once who ever in the relationship cheated. It makes it hard for the person who didnt do the cheating to trust another or the same person again. The trust is build up again but ever so slowly and like many may think IT DONT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT!!! It takes a LONG time for that trust to be regained some may never gain it back. I still have a hard time trusting anyone now in a relationship, half the time Im scared to even start one because of past experience or dont want the hurt or face the hurt again. Either way THE DAMAGE IS DONE once a person cheats!! Why even try to mend it back. There is no excuses for cheating IMHO. Even when married, the vows say "till death do you part" and means that. You want to cheat get the divorce THEN be with whoever. It only gives the cheater and the person who the cheater is involved with a bad rep( at least from what I see) anyway.

Ill wait for people to start throwing those bricks,I still like having morals in my life.

Sorry for rambling just my 2 cents.

Edited for spelling
[Edited 10/22/08 12:45pm]

toots said:

i fully agree... men just want it both ways.. they want the wife or girlfriend for the emotional intimacy and the pussy on the side to get the "thrill".... marriage is to love honor and trust... marriage is hard work for both

i am right there with you toots

ZAUBERFLOTE said:

Thanks

But it also goes for women as well.
[Edited 10/22/08 12:45pm]

toots said:

don't worry about sharing your opinions, if that's how you feel, share it .. we're all individuals

NDRU said:

it goes for a few months for me, i think. but this was after over a year.

evenstar3 said:

for me that went on for 8 years
probably for lack of talent

DexMSR said:

When you have built a life together, sex with someone else is a serious matter, imo.

I don't that cheating is always the result of something lacking in the relationship. Some people cheat just because they can..or they wants to smell something different