Okay...I am going to say something, and I will probably have to take some heat for it...but....yes this person wrote on a forum, telling us he got caught for cheating...gave us a semi-interesting reason to why he cheated. But I must say this...unless you live in one's life, or have walked in their shoes, we as a group have NO right to judge them. Yes we can give our opinions, but we should NOT judge, or look down upon what this person did. Everyone has their own reasons for doing things...we must all remember this. We aren't in their marriage!!!!

Now...let the heat begin!

Stymie said:

i find it fascinating how many old married couples have been through things of this sort and not a soul would know about it until one day in their old age they might have a light hearted conversation about it.
It wasnt the end all of the marriage. there are things more invested than sex.

horatio said:

You have to be very honest and very strong to make a marriage work and youhave to do that work on a daily basis

Of course we may love more then one person in our lifetimes
Of course the desire to be sexual with others may come up

See I agree that blame, right wrong and all those judgements are yes, easy to cast out, though not as often used as a mirror to see ourselves as human and imperfect as well

MoniGram said:

Amen

MoniGram said:

Nah, I'm not judging him nor am I looking down on what he did. There just should have been communication and this would not have happened. At least, in my opinion.

Stymie said:

I agree

For many though it is SO HARD to be honest even with their partners about sexual needs - to stay in a place of balance and talk things through, listen and have compassion without the ego feeling wounded is very hard to do for many

I guess it depends on the vows that the couple makes to each other. IMO, too many just go with the traditional words yet really don't realize that they are making a contract (or setting up a expectation) and they need to really pay attention to what they are saying they willing to do and go through with that other person. Did you mean it or not? Or are we held accountable for our words?

Stymie said:

Stymie said:

I can agree with this..but on that same note, once again we don't really know everything. We are hearing one side of the story.

Moni I too agree with what you say and I certainly wouldn't rush to judge any of you either...

It is, however, very sad to see two people who obviously loved one another go their seperate ways on such awkward terms.

RenHoek said:

Yes it is sad, but there are reasons for every mistake. And we will never really know it all, because we aren't them. We can only wish the best for both of them.

...now, i gotta say what "the book" ( word of god) says.


The two people, who marry, shall be come one flesh.

and how can the two walk together unless they agree?????



...do you agree to sex celibacy or swinging???? if neither, then you gotta compromise,


However.....Do you really wanna share the same body with another person.....it would seem sorta cramped if you catch my drift.



...that's .....haverstock 2:2

myfavorite said:

and how many wives did 'the book' say those men took?

horatio said:

c'mon man this gon get moved to the P&R forum

Don't ever think that you were justified in cheating. That's all.
You fucked up bad and if you tried to make this her fault in any way whatsoever, then you fucked up twice.
People go through things and they do expect their spouses to ride it out with them. Since you didn't (and if you still really want to be married to this woman) I think you already know what you need to do and that is put your dick on ice until she works her issues out. And if she can't get over her thing, then get a divorce. Let her go so she can maybe find somebody who will honor her the way you promised you would.

MoniGram said:

Fuck that, I'll judge away. I judge everyone and expect to be judged for my actions in return. I'm not one for this pc crap.

She was not putting out so she is to blame for him wanting it elsewhere but he still should not have fucked someone else while still wanting to be with his wife - for whatever reason.

alwayslate said:

Amen.

JustErin said:

I never get that whole 'don't judge' thing. What are people afraid of. You can say it all you want but in life you will be judged by what you do and say and you will judge others in the same way. I'm quite happy with that system. Ok, so people often don't know the specifics of others' situations but I'm fine with how in general I will be judged based on what I say and do. You just have to act right and cop to your mistakes when you don't and people tell you so.

Fauxie said:

I'm fine with that system as well and quite frankly, we're better people for thinking that way.














Ok, that was a joke.....sorta.

JustErin said:

I was quite fine with not scrolling down to see your disclaimer.

You got a good lawyer?

JustErin said:

I am not defending his actions...I am just saying..we are only hearing one side to the story. I would hate for someone to only hear one side of my story and judge me. No thanks...but everyone has their right to think what they want.

PurpleJedi said:

HALF!

MoniGram said:

Well, sure. We are only hearing one side of the story...but the story is - wife doesn't put out, husband cheats. Those are the facts. I'm commenting on the facts and that's it.

Cinnie said:

Pfft...

The problem was you got caught. If it was only about sex you should have been more discrete, your wifes been chit chattin' on the phone with her I mean texts and credit card bills, jeez call her on a landline and pay cash.

I kinda feel for you because I'm a filthy slut as well but your mistake was taking a marriage vow. There's only one place this is going and it ain't got a happy ending. Either beg her forgiveness (a long shot) or get a good lawyer like someone said.

JustErin said:

There are so many scenarios that should be considered when people get together and this should very well be one of them. For the most part, sex is very important to men and a very important part of a marriage. I have no idea why she lost interest in it but instead of fucking someone else, he should have just talked to her.

But damn, for real, is sex more important than love? Men scare the bloody hell out of me.

MoniGram said:

He asked the question "But at the core am I wrong?" He got an answer, I pass no judgement on him as a person, Just gave my thoughts on what he posted, no more no less .

Mars23 said:

double ditto. you should have tried harder to understand what she is going through instead of just thinking about and only about YOUR NEEDS. What if the shit was on the other foot? You wouldn't want her sucking some other guy's dick because you couldn't get it up due to a medical condition.... sigh.. MEN.

Stymie said:

But wait a second. Why do you think that men think it's more important than love? What I see is men (and some women) needing there to be both to be happy. I will never understand the whole, "well, if you loved her you would understand and be with her no matter what". Screw that, that is fantasy land talk, imo. If someone is not meeting your needs (whatever that may be) it won't work and honestly, it shouldn't have to work.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am in no way saying that what he did was right. It wasn't. I'm saying that he should have ended it with her before he started sniffing others' panties.