.

To what extent should we shield ourselves from painful truths? To what extent is it justified to shield other people from knowledge we think they might experience as painful? Is ignorance always bliss or is knowledge always to be preferred? Any examples?

Ignorance is bliss. The truth always hurts.

I think I'd be a lot happier if I didn't know what I know, or if I didn't care for that matter. On the flipside of that though, is I wish other people cared as much and the world would be a happier place for everyone.

retina said:

Zero.


In the long run, you're not doing them any favors.


Ignorance is ultimately only blissful in the short term and - as Lothan said - the world would be a better place if there were less of it.

Depends on what the knowledge is. for the most part I prefer being informed, even if it's painful. That don't mean I can't ignore shit with the best of em

retina said:

that comic is hilarious.

I really think this can be a tricky issue. Take for example a case of infidelity that was not caused by a malfunctioning relationship but rather by alcohol and out of control hormones, or whatever. In other words, it was a blip on the radar; something that was there for a moment but which is now gone.

From a practical standpoint one could argue that the cuckolded spouse wouldn't need to know about it. It would only cause pain and possible breakup even though they are both still as much in love as before, and there is no reason to believe that the infidelity would happen again, especially since the culprit has now learned from his/her mistake.

On the other hand, one could just as well argue that the spouse has a right to base his or her decisions regarding the relationship on the full truth rather than some trimmed down version of it. In a case like the one described I would have wanted to know about it if I was the one who had been cheated on, but I also know that there are many people out there who would have preferred not to know, so the matter of telling them about it if I knew about it is more difficult to decide.

There are plenty more situations that can be difficult. I would have preferred to not have seen some of the crap I've seen on the internet, but I didn't know that at the time. One doesn't know one's limits until one has crossed them, you know?

Keep the opinions coming. It's interesting to read what you think.

HiinEnkelte said:

I think so too.
I've been looking at it from time to time and it makes me laugh every time. It is what inspired this thread.

Ok, cheating is rarely a "blip" on the radar. Ignorance can be bliss when it comes to that but if I find out my partner is cheating on me, they lose their eyeballs

retina said:

OK, do you feel this applies equally to women, cheating on their male partners? This kind of phenomena seems to involve the straying husband. Is there a double standard when it comes to women doing the same thing?

You tell me retina.
I'm always up for a good debate and willing to learn new truths.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

You'd have to beg the question what is the woman or man doing in a situation that even offers up the opporutinty to cheat, if it wasn't something that was already in their heart?

How does one find themselves at another person's house, hotel room, etc. with alchohol, and having sex to begin with? Also, the third party--that is the person who the husband and wife are cheating with, should have enough self respect and dignity not to act like a common whore.

Though husbands in this situation are looking for an a good time alot of times, I think that wives who find themselves in this situation are looking for an escape or to fullfill a fantasy. Either way, it's never a blip, and sex for a married couple is never "casual".

knowledge is power

Imago said:

Cheating does not make one a common whore. I am an exceptional whore.

Lothan said:

I don't think cheating necessarily equates whoredom. In instances where women are so ridiculous as to think their men need sex 6 times a year, I don't look at a man straying in the same way as when the wife is seeking to please her husband and he's just a greedy pig. Nor do I look at women in the same way who stray for emotional support, say in the instance where they are being abused. Of course, I'd suggest just leaving in your partner is causing you to react from lack of love or attention but I don't view all "cheating" as wrong.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Neither do I.

I wouldn't say it's good to avoid the truth, but I wouldn't suggest dwelling on things that make us miserable, either.

Some folks think it's irresponsible to have fun while we're at war, for example, but I think I only have so much control over the world, but I have control over my own life, and I am of no benefit to the world if I'm simply adding misery to it.

NDRU said:

Good point

I think balance is very important.

oops I missed the real question.

I'd say if it truly was a blip on the radar screen, then the spouse doesn;t necessarily need to know (there was a great episode of MASH that covered this--a devoted husband who slipped up one night while he's away at war, and he was advised to keep the truth to himself).

But you're describing someone with an alcohol or emotional problem, so the truth being hidden isn't just infidelity, but those other problems, too. That says to me that the truth should come out.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I was referring the the third party person.

I think married people are looking for an escape from the mundane or from a bad situation, so I agree.

But the dishonesty of the situation is terribly filthy in my eyes, and the cheating spouse should just come out and be open about it.

Of course, there are complications and variations in all relationships that cause such breakdowns, but there's nothing wrong with err'ing and the side of honesty.

NDRU said:

I know what you're saying and I agree, but the question I was trying to raise on this thread wasn't really if we should dwell on painful truths but rather if we should acquire them at all in the first place? In other words, if we have a chance to not even know about some of the crap that's going on, should we choose that, and if so in which cases?

retina said:

Well, since you're not replying to me directly you can answer some of your own questions on this thread here: http://www.prince.org/msg/100/235116


(I'm nowhere on it so it's safe )

NDRU said:

That wasn't "the real question" though, it was just an example of knowing versus not knowing something. It's not a real situation, nor was it the reason I started this thread. Just FYI.



Well, I didn't intend to describe someone with alochol problems or emotional problems, I was just trying to paint a picture of a situation that really was a blip on the radar and caused by temporary circumstances. It's interesting though that you think it's okay to not let the spouse know if it truly is a blip.

oh lawd, I'm sorry.

This dan-ban shit is getting to me. I'm otta here.

retina said:

It depends. There are so many truths. I'd personally want to aquire the ones that apply to me directly, but I don't need to know about every time some person kills their entire family.

In the cheating example, I wouldn't want to know if my girlfriend cheated out of some extreme circumstance (she was imprisoned with some guy and all they had was each other and they had sex) That would have nothing to do with me, and I would forgive her if I did find out, anyway.

Similarly, I don't want to know about the crazy sex she had before me either. It's okay that she did it, but why should I know about it?

retina said:

I think a "blip" is a very unlikely scenario, however.

Imago said:

OH NO YOU DON'T!!!

NDRU said:

If she'd done something you wouldn't have been able to forgive her for though (just hypothesizing here), would you have wanted to know then, or would it be better to just return to your old life with her (assuming that it was something she'd never do again)?



I don't know, no reason really. I would probably be interested in knowing out of pure curiosity, but at the same time it wouldn't be great if it turned out that she only truly got off on black guys or something else that I'm not.

MissMe said:

Unfortunately so.