kidelrich said:

Whelp! What about your state of mind? You weren't drooling all over her, spilling your beer, or anything?

xplnyrslf said:

If that were actually the case, why would she bother to give him her number?

JustErin said:

In order to get him to go away??? Is the message generic on the recording? or does she state her name and it was definitely her voice and #.

JustErin said:

That's usually how I am too. I rarely give out my number. If guys ask I say, "I don't give out my number." If the guy still persists, I might add, "Fine, you can give me yours if you want but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll call." (A tad bitchy perhaps, but I feel it's better to be honest & upfront than let him think I'll call for sure .)

I did break my own rule not too long ago: gave out my number, told the guy don't call me the next day--and what did he do? Called the next damn day. Against my better judgement, I went out with him anyway. For many reasons I won't get into I shoulda stuck with my original m.o. of not giving out the digits cause I "just wasn't that into him." lol.



Yeah, don't sweat it yet. She probably doesn't want to call back on the weekend...give it til Tuesday.

xplnyrslf said:

She did state her name. WTF, btw. I didn't beg for her number. I just asked right before I left.

jone70 said:

I can't be sure, because I pretty much just saw her back, but I think she was at the same bar tonight and not even a wave "hi". I don't have her face comitted to memory, but it was probably her. What was that somebody said about not meeting great girls at bars?

kidelrich said:

I'm actually kind of depressed about this, but I guess she wasn't worth the time/effort.

kidelrich said:

Just trying to eliminate the possibilities. Didn't suggest you were desperate.
I'm probably the last person who should contribute to this topic as I've been married 25 yrs and know NOTHING.

kidelrich said:

You'll find that most women aren't.

Spats said:

Don't take it out on yourself. She could have a BF somewhere, There's too many unknowns. Go back to the place with a bunch of buddies, have a good time. and if she's there, say, "HI" and ignore her the rest of night. Hit on someone else.Or be "chillin like a villain" with the buds.
Don't appear to be injured by her nonresponse. Way back in the 70's the hottest chick in the bar had crabs.

Spats,,,,can you offer some suggestions that would be helpful, Other than spitting on her and tossing your beer down her shirt??
[Edited 9/17/06 19:54pm]

xplnyrslf said:

He should not be upset about it. Most women are not worth it. Women do nonsense like that all the time. Just move on. Look for a women better looking than her. Trying to figure out why most women do the stupid stuff they do is hopeless. Save your energy.

Call her five timez a day, all at the same time every day and then every Wednesday ask her to marry you because it's Wednesday and the she'll think your keen and funny!

Take her to a bar and tell her you want to have her babiez!!

kidelrich said:

Why not? I'm VERY selective about who I give my number to outside of career situations, so if I felt cool enough about you to give you my digits, then call. The world is sad and complicated enough without inviting people into your life who want to play mind/ego games. If the chemistry was right when you met the chick, move on to the "having FUN" part already (!) and leave all that worry worry ooh lets-color-this relationship by the dots-because of our fear of intimacy bullshit to the emotionally unintellligent.

I say if it feels good, let it ride...

Ottensen said:

lilmissmissy said:

Yeah, that should work. It's never failed before.

lilmissmissy said:

Your advice is spot on.

XxAxX said:

In an ideal world that's true. But this is not an ideal world. If a girl called me the day after i gave her my number i would think she was a loser or lonely. I think most would think the same way. Wait a couple days or a week.

Spats said:

i disagree. although i agree with a lot of your thinking and applaud it i think that when you have feelings for someone and it's mutual there isn't any need for games like that. (yes, i understand you might consider someone who wants to hear from you right away 'lonely' or a 'loser' but you should keep in mind there are other reasons too)

when someone plays hard to get i'm disappointed and usually am turned off becauae that behavior is a type of 'game playing' and gameplaying is death to real love. it kills trust because the one playing games has a set of rules but won't share the rule book, which isn't fair or kind

My fiance once told me if you meet a girl out in a bar, you always wait two days to call....

We didn't meet in a bar, and he called me before I even got home. I was flattered.

Guess it depends on whether or not "playing the game" is important in this scenario. I tend to think "the game" is a bit stupid. I'm not sure why there has to be rules of etiquette over showing interest. A man must've invented it all.

XxAxX said:

But if you share the rule book with them then they will alter their behavior just to get in good with you. If you keep the rule book to yourself then you will hopefully get the real person and then you can start filtering.

XxAxX said:

Meeting someone at a bar one night and getting their number is a bit early for any 'real love' talk, no?

kidelrich said:

That's true. You are not going to meet "The love of your life" at a bar or club. You go their to meet hot women and have fun.

Spats said:

i've never had any sorta experience like this ('least not yet), but have given it some thought: you gotta give folks some room. call too soon and folks'll perhaps think that you're rather clingy/creepy. call too late, folks'll think that you couldn't care less about speaking to 'em again.

my thoughts on this would to have at least a 2- to 3-day window between getting the digits and calling back.

purplerein said:

Biting!

kidelrich said:

Saucy!

kidelrich said:

well obviously yes. but each and every encounter is the foundation for whatever the thing grows into. if you curse the encounter with a shallow attitude, it will be a shallow relationship. aned vice versa

purplerein said:

What?

Spats said: