Spats said:

alter their behavior? when you make an effort to get to know someone you try and speak on topics they know, find things in common. that would be normal behavior.

what is truly ironic about your comment ("If you keep the rule book to yourself then you will hopefully get the real person and then you can start filtering") is that, in the process of guarding yourself against gameplaying you have become what you despise. you are playing games yourself, and are not being yourself.

XxAxX said:

You have to play games to an extent because most women do. You play games in return just to survive in the dating world.

Spats said:

it sounds like you've been really hurt sometime in the past.

not all people are like the women you describe. yes, there are shallow gold-digging bitches from hell who will abuse and use men, play games and deceive. but not all of us do. some of us are just people, trying to get by just like you

XxAxX said:

Not all women but most.

Spats said:

okay. that must be true in your experience.

here's something for you to think about, the flip side you might say: from a woman's perspective most guys are shallow, selfish freaks who don't care at all about our feelings or minds but care only about their own sex drive and satisfying it through use of our bodies. these are the guys who go to bars hoping to 'hook up' and get some 'sacktime'

XxAxX said:

There are millions of guys like that. I know some of them. I find most women only care about their own feelings and what's in their minds (they talk endlessly about it).

Spats said:

well i think we can find selfish/inconsiderate people everywhere. women who want to talk about their feelings need to find guys who want to listen to women talk about their feelings.

this is why it's important to honestly communicate. some people just want to find some sacktime. some people want to find someone to talk with and spend time with. some people want both sacktime and companionship. some people just want to have some fun

there's nothing wrong with different people wanting what they want. but imo if people are playing games to get what they want, and are not being honest with the other people, the whole endeavor is screwed from the get-go. just my 2c

Spats said:

XxAxX said:

Then i guess i should just kick the babe to the curb.

Spats said:

maybe yes. it's up to you, of course. but from what you've described your behavior is that of a guy who wants to know her as a person, for a long-term friendship/relationship.

you've put a lot of time and effort into taking her out on dates and such, but have not made any 'moves'. if i were her i'd think you were more interested in ME as a person, rather than me as a lover.

however, from what you tell us on the ORG you are actually only interested in bedding the lass. it would be far kinder to let her know what you really want, where you are truly coming from.

and, to be fair to you and men like you, it would be a far better world if prostitution were not only legal but not at all taboo, since a lot of men have to play games in order to deal with the games that women play just to get sex.

XxAxX said:

The reason i haven't made the big move is because i want her to do it. You would think she would get that by now. i guess some women are so set in their ways of thinking that it does not register.

If a guy has my number and doesn't call within a day or two, I don't think he's all that interested, which usually makes me less interested. I want to know he's into me. I want to know I'm on his mind. If I'm not, why bother?

then again, for me the length of time between a callback would highly depend on how much i liked someone. if i dig you, it'll be at least a day or two before i call you back. if i don't...no ringie-dingie for you.

Spats said:

maybe that's it. maybe she IS set in her ways of thinking. but then again, maybe she just wants to be friends.

XxAxX said:

Well the way she kisses me indicates she wants more than just friendship.