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Thread started 07/08/02 11:57am

Haystack

It's a world of fun at Paisley Park

If Prince opened a theme park (called Paisley Park, naturally) what rides and attractions would there be in it?

For starters, there'd be a huge Ice Cream Castle as the centrepiece.
A River Rapids ride called 'The Holy River' which would be themed accordingly.
A 'Strange But True' freak show.
Every day there would be a Christopher Tracy's Parade through the park.
The grand entrance would be called 'Alphabet Street'.
There'd be a HUGE rollercoaster called 'The Ryde Dyvyne'.


Come on people, what else would you install in the park?
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Reply #1 posted 07/08/02 12:07pm

themellowone

Cool! The restaurant could serve Starfish and Coffee, and you could buy Raspberry Berets from the souvenir shop!
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Reply #2 posted 07/08/02 12:10pm

Aerogram

avatar

Haystack said:

If Prince opened a theme park (called Paisley Park, naturally) what rides and attractions would there be in it?

For starters, there'd be a huge Ice Cream Castle as the centrepiece.
A River Rapids ride called 'The Holy River' which would be themed accordingly.
A 'Strange But True' freak show.
Every day there would be a Christopher Tracy's Parade through the park.
The grand entrance would be called 'Alphabet Street'.
There'd be a HUGE rollercoaster called 'The Ryde Dyvyne'.


Come on people, what else would you install in the park?


Great idea, but there would also be :

- A spiritual gathering place with signs reading "No "Thieves in the temple" please!"
- A veggie restaurant called "Eat a Leaf"
- A daycare called The Rainbow Children
- A museum dedicated to the Record Industry, called either Slave to the System or Don't Play Me.
- A record store called Wreckastow
- A little park called LarryLand with giant Bass statues surrounding a sculpture of Larry with Tina at his feet (that would be the sculpture's name, by the way).
- A "zoo" called Animal Kingdom, but since Prince doesn't like cages, there would only be a few roaming goats and some chickens... and a cow (which of course would be known as the Sacred Cow).

I may have more brilliant ideas like that for you later...
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Reply #3 posted 07/08/02 12:27pm

Zthe9s

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Where is Swinger? lol
_________________________________________




"Every morning when I awake, the greatest of joys is mine: that of being Zthe9s... "
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Reply #4 posted 07/08/02 12:32pm

mrchristian

avatar

It could be a place where R&B musicians like RKelly hit on unsuspecting little kids who are coerced into entering the amusement part with fun carnival rides...

oops, MJ already has Neverland.
Didn't they do a couple songs together?
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Reply #5 posted 07/08/02 12:35pm

AnitaThrill

It would be a replica of Ned Flanders holy amusement park on the Simpsons. What was her name? Maude? Everyone went all excited and then couldn't wait to leave.
[This message was edited Mon Jul 8 12:37:22 PDT 2002 by AnitaThrill]
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Reply #6 posted 07/08/02 1:01pm

IceNine

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I see it as not a park, but a big white mansion with various, Prince-themed rooms for visitors to enjoy.

Here are some GREAT ideas for such a park:

The Purple Pain Room - visitors would enter the room and be summarily doused with grape soda, punched in the face and sent back into the park.

The Sexy MF Room - visitors would enter the room whereupon their buttocks would be tested in order to see if they were tight as a grape... if your ass is as tight as a grape, you will be allowed to roam about the park freely... if not, you will be punched in the face and sent to the Purple Pain room where you will be doused with grape soda and punched in the face again.

The Sister Room - visitors who unwittingly enter this room will be forced to have sexual relations with their sister.

The Head Room - visitors will be treated to a stuffed moose head on the wall for their enjoyment.

The Still Would Stand All Time Room - visitors entering this exciting room will watch endless videos of Prince discussing religious topics until they pass out in a stupor, at which point they will be whisked off to the Sexy MF Room.

The When Doves Cry Room - visitors who unknowingly enter this room will be forced to wear a dove suit. When properly clad, staff members will enter the room and make fun of the unwitting visitor until they cry... at which point they will be moved to the Purple Pain Room.

The Cherry, Cherry Room - visitors will be flashed by a girl named Cherry at which point they will fall to the ground or they will be forced to the ground.

The Thieves in the Temple Room - visitors who enter this exciting room will be robbed of all their valuables and sent immediately to the Still Would Stand All Time room.

The RoadKill Garden Room - visitors to this intriguing room will be treated to various carrion taken from the nation's highways.

The One Nite Alone Room - visitors to this alluring room will be locked in and forced to spend one night alone in this bare and comfortless room only to be taken to the Purple Pain Room when they are rudely awakened in the morning.

The Rave In2 The Joy Fantastic Room - I don't really want to go in2 the details of this room... needless to say, it is a room that Caligula would be ashamed to set foot in.


I have many more ideas... but I am tired of typing now.



EDIT: I forgot to mention that they could model the building after H.H. Holmes' infamous "Torture Castle."

....
[This message was edited Mon Jul 8 13:10:37 PDT 2002 by IceNine]
SUPERJOINT RITUAL - http://www.superjointritual.com
A Lethal Dose of American Hatred
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Reply #7 posted 07/08/02 1:12pm

chachalila

avatar

Haystack said:

If Prince opened a theme park (called Paisley Park, naturally) what rides and attractions would there be in it?

For starters, there'd be a huge Ice Cream Castle as the centrepiece.
A River Rapids ride called 'The Holy River' which would be themed accordingly.
A 'Strange But True' freak show.
Every day there would be a Christopher Tracy's Parade through the park.
The grand entrance would be called 'Alphabet Street'.
There'd be a HUGE rollercoaster called 'The Ryde Dyvyne'.


That is so damn clever. Almost wish it was real. lol
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Reply #8 posted 07/08/02 1:37pm

Swinger

Zthe9s said:

Where is Swinger? lol


A Call the Law hotline for you ninnies to dial the local cops after Roger Nelson picks your pockets clean. razz mr.green

hammer
Prince

.
.
.
.
[This message was edited Mon Jul 8 13:44:58 PDT 2002 by Swinger]
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Reply #9 posted 07/08/02 2:31pm

kimmydee

There would be an all you can eat Cherry Pie stand...and permanent residence status for npgmusicclub members. We could live in purple hobit-like buroughs and get around on rollerskates. Of course we would all be required to learn to play the tamborine and cow bell, and every night there would be a concert and we would have to sing for our supper. Dress code would be funky to the max (no black) There would be a huge glittering rainbow with a wonderful pool at the bottom for swimming...and a space ship for regular trips to Neptune...
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Reply #10 posted 07/08/02 2:51pm

Aerogram

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- a jail called Banished Ones Penitentiary (complete with an Electric Chair room no one wants to visit);
- a "rest" home called Don't Go Crazy;
- a black monolith entitle Still Would Stand all Time
- an information booth called Housequake where the information officers go "Quessstionnn?" and only answer if you preface with "Does anybody know about..."
- a reading room with rows and rows of bibles and only bibles... called The Question of U.
- an exhibit called The Future... on the coming apocalypse.
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Reply #11 posted 07/08/02 2:56pm

Handclapsfinga
snapz

Swinger said:


A Call the Law hotline for you ninnies to dial the local cops after Roger Nelson picks your pockets clean. razz mr.green

u mean after i kicked mr. nelson's ass, right? mr.green
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Reply #12 posted 07/08/02 3:29pm

Zthe9s

avatar

Swinger said:

Zthe9s said:

Where is Swinger? lol


A Call the Law hotline for you ninnies to dial the local cops after Roger Nelson picks your pockets clean. razz mr.green

hammer
Prince

.
.
.
.
[This message was edited Mon Jul 8 13:44:58 PDT 2002 by Swinger]


Roger wont be picking my pockets, ive got a lion in mine and baby it's ready to roar eek
_________________________________________




"Every morning when I awake, the greatest of joys is mine: that of being Zthe9s... "
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Reply #13 posted 07/09/02 5:07am

kimmydee

For the park: the toddlers would get pushed around in little red corvettes and the bumper cars would have smashed up grilles. There would be a cream pie fight arena (the cream would be made from soya beans)...
Sign up now for permanent residence! I'm in.
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Reply #14 posted 07/09/02 5:09am

IrishEcho

& if we put CalhounSq & slag10 in a pool, we could watch the whales & dolphins play, just like Marineland.
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Reply #15 posted 07/09/02 7:19am

NAMOR

Don't forget "319", which would hold nightly orgies( a'la, Eyes Wide Shut)
And then there's the "Endorphinemachine", which would be Virtual Reality sexual intercourse
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Reply #16 posted 07/09/02 11:11am

Haystack

New attractions for next season

A bucking bronco called Horny Pony (which ejaculates when the rider manages a full minute).
A ferris wheel called Circle Of Amour.
Plus three new themed areas -
New World - A futuristic area of the park with a Space Mountain type rollercoaster called Moonbeam Levels.
Soul Sanctuary - A haven from all the hustle and bustle of the rest of the park, with an Arboretum and a creche facility called Let's Have A Baby.
Dream Factory - A surreal new area with a vertical drop rollercoaster called Face Down and a house of horrors called Dark which has no visual attractions, but plays the Rave Un2 The Joy Fantastic CD on a constant loop.

When you enter the park, 'Strays Of The World' or 'Welcome 2 The Dawn' will play through the speakers at the gates, when you leave you'll hear 'Emancipation' or 'Goodbye'.

And all the staff will be wearing the official uniform of pink cashmere.
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Reply #17 posted 07/09/02 11:13am

IceNine

avatar

Haystack said:



And all the staff will be wearing the official uniform of pink cashmere.



...with assless pants...
SUPERJOINT RITUAL - http://www.superjointritual.com
A Lethal Dose of American Hatred
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Reply #18 posted 07/09/02 11:47am

dcm

IceNine said:

I see it as not a park, but a big white mansion with various, Prince-themed rooms for visitors to enjoy.

Here are some GREAT ideas for such a park:

The Purple Pain Room - visitors would enter the room and be summarily doused with grape soda, punched in the face and sent back into the park.

The Sexy MF Room - visitors would enter the room whereupon their buttocks would be tested in order to see if they were tight as a grape... if your ass is as tight as a grape, you will be allowed to roam about the park freely... if not, you will be punched in the face and sent to the Purple Pain room where you will be doused with grape soda and punched in the face again.

The Sister Room - visitors who unwittingly enter this room will be forced to have sexual relations with their sister.

The Head Room - visitors will be treated to a stuffed moose head on the wall for their enjoyment.

The Still Would Stand All Time Room - visitors entering this exciting room will watch endless videos of Prince discussing religious topics until they pass out in a stupor, at which point they will be whisked off to the Sexy MF Room.

The When Doves Cry Room - visitors who unknowingly enter this room will be forced to wear a dove suit. When properly clad, staff members will enter the room and make fun of the unwitting visitor until they cry... at which point they will be moved to the Purple Pain Room.

The Cherry, Cherry Room - visitors will be flashed by a girl named Cherry at which point they will fall to the ground or they will be forced to the ground.

The Thieves in the Temple Room - visitors who enter this exciting room will be robbed of all their valuables and sent immediately to the Still Would Stand All Time room.

The RoadKill Garden Room - visitors to this intriguing room will be treated to various carrion taken from the nation's highways.

The One Nite Alone Room - visitors to this alluring room will be locked in and forced to spend one night alone in this bare and comfortless room only to be taken to the Purple Pain Room when they are rudely awakened in the morning.

The Rave In2 The Joy Fantastic Room - I don't really want to go in2 the details of this room... needless to say, it is a room that Caligula would be ashamed to set foot in.


I have many more ideas... but I am tired of typing now.



EDIT: I forgot to mention that they could model the building after H.H. Holmes' infamous "Torture Castle."

...
[This message was edited Mon Jul 8 13:10:37 PDT 2002 by IceNine]



LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

Ice you aint right, man!! You aint right!


DCM
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Reply #19 posted 07/09/02 12:17pm

IceNine

avatar

dcm said:

IceNine said:

I see it as not a park, but a big white mansion with various, Prince-themed rooms for visitors to enjoy.

Here are some GREAT ideas for such a park:

The Purple Pain Room - visitors would enter the room and be summarily doused with grape soda, punched in the face and sent back into the park.

The Sexy MF Room - visitors would enter the room whereupon their buttocks would be tested in order to see if they were tight as a grape... if your ass is as tight as a grape, you will be allowed to roam about the park freely... if not, you will be punched in the face and sent to the Purple Pain room where you will be doused with grape soda and punched in the face again.

The Sister Room - visitors who unwittingly enter this room will be forced to have sexual relations with their sister.

The Head Room - visitors will be treated to a stuffed moose head on the wall for their enjoyment.

The Still Would Stand All Time Room - visitors entering this exciting room will watch endless videos of Prince discussing religious topics until they pass out in a stupor, at which point they will be whisked off to the Sexy MF Room.

The When Doves Cry Room - visitors who unknowingly enter this room will be forced to wear a dove suit. When properly clad, staff members will enter the room and make fun of the unwitting visitor until they cry... at which point they will be moved to the Purple Pain Room.

The Cherry, Cherry Room - visitors will be flashed by a girl named Cherry at which point they will fall to the ground or they will be forced to the ground.

The Thieves in the Temple Room - visitors who enter this exciting room will be robbed of all their valuables and sent immediately to the Still Would Stand All Time room.

The RoadKill Garden Room - visitors to this intriguing room will be treated to various carrion taken from the nation's highways.

The One Nite Alone Room - visitors to this alluring room will be locked in and forced to spend one night alone in this bare and comfortless room only to be taken to the Purple Pain Room when they are rudely awakened in the morning.

The Rave In2 The Joy Fantastic Room - I don't really want to go in2 the details of this room... needless to say, it is a room that Caligula would be ashamed to set foot in.


I have many more ideas... but I am tired of typing now.



EDIT: I forgot to mention that they could model the building after H.H. Holmes' infamous "Torture Castle."

...
[This message was edited Mon Jul 8 13:10:37 PDT 2002 by IceNine]



LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

Ice you aint right, man!! You aint right!


DCM


Thank you!

smile
SUPERJOINT RITUAL - http://www.superjointritual.com
A Lethal Dose of American Hatred
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Reply #20 posted 07/10/02 12:39am

EYESEEINSIDEU

avatar

NAMOR said:

Don't forget "319", which would hold nightly orgies( a'la, Eyes Wide Shut)
And then there's the "Endorphinemachine", which would be Virtual Reality sexual intercourse



(checks sign-up sheet) To no suprise...Vagina is signed up for this one!


Vaggie...dont forget this! nuts arrow ky
Eye See InsideU...
Eye see the amber ashes in your eyes...
Left from the spark of luv inside u...
It can't keep hidden...
And won't be contained...
This is the kind of spark that will 4ever remain... heart
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Reply #21 posted 07/10/02 12:55am

Moonbeam

You all crack me up! lol I love it! Some suggestions...

-The Don't Go Crazy asylum will have two sections: (1) those who are Delirious and (2) For Those of You on Valium...
-A group of soothsayers (notice no nay!) working in the Crystal Ball.
-Every phone is a Neon Telephone.
-A thrift store for Old Friends at a discounted rate.
-An enormous breast-shaped sex store entitled "G-Spot."
-A tunnel of love where "Adonis and Bathsheeba" is played.
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Reply #22 posted 07/10/02 2:38am

agotajonesmart
ha

Do you think we'd be picked up by "Lady cab driver" herself to get to the park ???
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Reply #23 posted 07/10/02 9:50am

Aannastesia

There would have to be a Parade down Alphabet Street.

Vendors selling Lemon Crush Icees.

A PhotoStop like the Old Time Photos at Fairs
but this would be a X-dress Photostop callled
"If I Was Your Girlfriend".

A bridge where visitors are encouraged to Graffiti!

Gold Experience>>>
Tossing ping pong balls into goldfish bowls.

An all night RAVE...

Pop Life>>>
Throwing Darts at LG balloons. hehhe

Holy River Raft Ride

Around the Worldin A Day Gyro Ride.

Release It...
a bungee/slingshot type ride.

Most beautiful Girl in the World ...
face painting / makeover.

Horny Pony Carousel.

Round and Round ferris wheel.

Into the Light Laser Show.

Chaos and Disorder Sensory Deprivation Chamber.

Glam Slam Bumper Cars

The Ladder Free Fall

International Lover Airplane Simulator

Anotherloverholeinyourhead Shooting Gallery

Rainbow Children Sky Ride...

Condition of the Heart must be Excellent Rollercoaster.

Take me with you Haunted House.

It Takes Two teeter totter

Joy in Repetition House of Mirrors

heart Life heart Sexy heart u all
heart life heart Sexy heart u all
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Reply #24 posted 07/10/02 9:55am

IceNine

avatar

Aannastesia said:


***clipped some good stuff***



You forgot the "Anotherloverholenyohead" trepanation clinic.
SUPERJOINT RITUAL - http://www.superjointritual.com
A Lethal Dose of American Hatred
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Reply #25 posted 07/10/02 9:57am

Chandrasonic

agotajonesmartha said:

Do you think we'd be picked up by "Lady cab driver" herself to get to the park ???

lol
In the little red corvette!
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Reply #26 posted 07/10/02 2:58pm

Pluv

avatar

on the east side of the park there is a lil club joint named Joy n Repetetion... paisely park workers hangin outside dressed up like pimps n thangs... U can take a polaroid photo with them for 5 bucks...the club has small round tables, dim lites, a small band palyin soul psycodelicide... with a female singer on a small stage repeatin 2 words in a mic ova N ova again wink
U will be seated by the hostess, a sweet looking girl with a smile beneath her nose wearin a pretty dress with different colored socks...
the waitress, Dorothy Parker, will greet u, proposition u with a bubble bath, then will take ur order.
the menu consists of:
a nice cool lemon crush for 77 cents.
a fruit cocktail for .77 cents
or the big breakfast:
starfish N coffee with mayple suryp or jam butterscotch cloud tanerine with a side order of ham...for 7.77
peace heart
P luv
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Reply #27 posted 07/12/02 10:45am

kimmydee

'Baby Your A Star' Rollerskating rink with diso balls, massive sound system and a retractable roof, only open after dark.
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Reply #28 posted 07/12/02 10:49am

Moonbeam

Pluv said:

on the east side of the park there is a lil club joint named Joy n Repetetion... paisely park workers hangin outside dressed up like pimps n thangs... U can take a polaroid photo with them for 5 bucks...the club has small round tables, dim lites, a small band palyin soul psycodelicide... with a female singer on a small stage repeatin 2 words in a mic ova N ova again wink
U will be seated by the hostess, a sweet looking girl with a smile beneath her nose wearin a pretty dress with different colored socks...
the waitress, Dorothy Parker, will greet u, proposition u with a bubble bath, then will take ur order.
the menu consists of:
a nice cool lemon crush for 77 cents.
a fruit cocktail for .77 cents
or the big breakfast:
starfish N coffee with mayple suryp or jam butterscotch cloud tanerine with a side order of ham...for 7.77


What about the FAM Slam?
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Reply #29 posted 07/12/02 11:25am

betra

avatar

AnitaThrill said:

It would be a replica of Ned Flanders holy amusement park on the Simpsons.


Damn. I musta missed this episode.
---------
.: your wit belongs here :.
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