NEWS FLASH!!!!!

We interrupt this story to being you some breaking news. Earlier this week soul music icon Prince had an unidentified artist removed from his residence after he reportedly caught him doing drugs in his home. Today, that unidentifed artist speaks out but keeps his identity concealed. Here is what he had to say:

"Man...Prince...man, he trippin, man. H-h-h-he kicked me out of his crib while I was constipated. Man, thats *CENSORED* -ed up! You dont kick a man out of your *CENSORED* -ing house when he constipated. Thats a *CENSORED* -ing crime, man. I was snorting coke was cause it helps my constipation go away. You know how it do. It, uh...it, uh....uuuhhhh....i-i-i-its good for your bowels. It softens it up. You know how it is when you, uh....take a *CENSORED* and, uh.....and, uh....a-and, uh....you know how that *CENSORED* dont wanna come out and you gotta rock back and forth? Back, back, forth and forth? Uh-Oh, wait a minute! BACK, BACK, FOURTH, AND FOURTH!!! Hahaha, thats my jam there. Yeah. Ummm... What was I talkin about? Uhhh....oh yeah! But anyways, like I was sayin, man, I ain't never, I aint never, I ain't never did drugs before in my entire life, man. I mean...do I look like the kinda person that snorts that stuff? Thats crazy! Hell, knowing Prince, he probably snorted my *CENSORED* after me out. Selfish mutha- *CENSORED* Thats why I took a sh- *CENSORED* on his porch."

We will keep you updated on this matter as it unfolds. You return you to your story.

"Trouble what kind of trouble" Prince asked.
"Sit down PoohBear. Can we speak alone for a moment?" Mani asked Anxiety who gracefully left the room.

"A new addictive drug has been discovered. It's your boots Precious. The smell of your foot funk causes a reaction in the brain much like cocaine. All of our homes have been broken into and your boots are gone."

Prince stand still, then blinked, once, twice, three times "NOOOOO!! Not the boots! Oh God! The cars, the vault, the money, but not the booooots!!"

Mani wrapped here arms around her weeping husband trying in vain to console him.
"Don't worry Love, I have a plan" Mani informed Prince, "We'll go back to earth and...

"we'll check out what DSW has in store ok?"
Prince stared at his wife.

"WHAT THE...! WOMAN! U GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME WITH THIS DSW SH---, uh... i mean stuff." Prince was seething. "Anyways, how could those crazy people break into our home and steal [b]all my boots? there'd hafta be a whole army of people to take all of 'em."

Prince too was in vain trying to console himself with the thought that all of his beloved boots couldn't have been taken.

"well...honey...that's the problem. the entire army ordered me to open our home for 'government reasons'. i didn't know that they had been studying ur shoes the entire time and...ooh baby i am so sorry! but i did find somthin out that may help us..."

just then the door to the room burst open and in came Queen Unibusta with Axiety held by the ear.

"I KNEW that you would show up here princey-pie. oooh! and ur lovely wife too! well, well, well, u can thank the young man here for looking glazed over, the only look he gets when listening to YOU! and i just knew that he didn't have any form of audio device, i caught him. Now all of you will come with me to the royal court while Burger King, Michael, and I decide your fate. Oh, and Mani, thanks for letting the entire army into your home. too bad your so dumb as not to realize they were all ROBOTS! "

with an evil cackle she left the room, Axiety in sobs now.

"I'M SORRY PRINCE! I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET THE GLAZED LOOK, IT'S JUST YOUR ASS IS SO DAMN FINE THAT I...I!" Axiety trailed off, his wailing with him

"It's...it's ok man!" Prince called after him as guards surrounded him and Mani. "you know, he was really good at that massage. i should call him.."

Just then, over the loud speakers came a small voice.

"Prince?...its, uh, Dr. Phil. sorry. we need you to COMPUTER BLUE, CONTIENTAL, THEN 7 TO THE LEFT AND BE "THE ONE" ONCE U HIT THE 17 DAYS MARK. GET THE MORNING PAPERS TO THE MAX AND CREAM IT ON OUTTA THIS JOINT 2(ANOTHER) JOINT!"

which what Razz was really sayin was...

NEWS FLASH!!!!!

We interrupt this story to being you some breaking news. Earlier this week soul music icon Prince had an unidentified artist removed from his residence after he reportedly caught him doing drugs in his home.
Today, that person has been identified as no other than....


Kermit the Frog of Muppets fame.
Kermit met the Prince when he appeared on the now cancelled Muppet Show.

We will keep you updated on this matter as it unfolds.
We return you to your story.
[Edited 4/18/05 18:41pm]
[Edited 4/19/05 15:37pm]

sisforscandalous said:

something Prince understood immediately.
"Ok, Ok we'll come quietly."
As the guards led the captives pass a bureau on the left , prince said "Let me get some pants." The guards let him open the top drawer. Before they could react Prince had drawn a long sword and swung it wildly over his head! It looked just like the 7 video, except Prince was naked and Mani wasn't doing a belly dance! The guards ducked out of the way of sharp blade, fearful of being cut. Mani ducked and stayed behind her beloved Prince. "Mani! The calendar! Hit the 17th!" Prince instructed Mani. Mani saw the calendar on the wall next to them, and pressed hard on the 17th. Beneath them the floor opened. They slid down a long curving slide through the trunk of the tree, landing in a pile of shredded papers.

"Let's get out of this joint!" Prince yelled.
Hand in hand Prince and Mani ran at maximum speed thru the forest of Buttopia. It wasn't enough. Queen Unibusta and her minions were closing in fast in their hovercrafts! The Nelsons were running out of breath, just as they couldn't take another step, a small craft appeared overhead. The craft fired blue-white lasers at the Queen’s hovercrafts as it descended to rescue the Nelsons. The door open and Mani & Prince was whisked inside by Samuel L. Jackson in full Jedi gear!

What happen next was truly unbelievable...
[Edited 4/20/05 15:40pm]

This thing was going alright till that pic of the hairy guy.

Samuel, “I’m glad I found you!”
Prince much relieved, “How did you find us Sam?”
“I felt a disturbance in the force, a purple disturbance, and followed it to Buttopia.”
“Uh, you’re really into this Star Wars stuff, aren’t you Sam?” Mani inquired not believing what she heard. “The force and the Jedi way is my religion. George Lucas has shown me the light. It’s never-ending royalties on the Star Wars movies and merchandise, fees for convention appearances, and of course, my very own action figure,” Sam proudly pronounced. Prince was sorry he didn’t have any Watchtowers or his bible with him. He wanted badly to share the word with his friend Sam. But as things stood, he didn’t even have clothes or his beloved boots. Not even a pair of wedgies! A torpedo fired from above rocked the space craft.“Prince put this on, and follow me,” the Jedi ordered as he gave the Prince of Buttopia a robe. Take this and follow me! We must use the force to win this fight!” Samuel shoved a light saber into Prince’s hand and yanked him by the collar out the hatch.

The Buttopians had landed. Sam rushed into the crowd of double wide, but fleet footed people and SWISH! Dispensed them with his saber! “ Don’t be afraid Prince, unlike the ones in the movies, these only will stun them!” Prince fumbled with the saber, and finally figured out how to turn it on just as a large guard reached him. SWOOOSH! The guard fell to the ground unmoving. “Cool,” Prince smiled to himself. Prince back flipped and landed in a split. "HIAH!" He screamed welding the light saber like a mad man. "Take it easy Prince!" Sam yelled. "I'm a dolphin, don't tell me how to swim!" Prince shouted back, gaining confidence with every stroke. Back to back Prince and Samuel thrashed, poked, and stunned the enemy. Soon only Queen Unibusta, Burger King, Michael Jackson was left standing.

“Give it up Unibusta! I will never be your husband!” Prince yelled, with the saber ready in a fighting pose.

Unibusta looked very sad. “I know my Prince, as the song says ‘I can’t make you love me’.” Unibusta takes Michael’s hand, “Michael Jackson has agreed to join me and Burger on the throne. He will be appreciated here, instead of being persecuted on Earth.” Prince wonder how much Unibusta will appreciate Michael once she got him in the bedroom. Well, it might be the best thing that could happen to Mike, Prince decided.
Unibusta pleaded, “All I ask of you is to teach us how to be emancipated. You are free to come and go to Buttopia as you please.” Prince put down his light-saber. “I think I like that, Unibusta, I like that a lot!” Mani emerged from the space shuttle, “How about the boots?” “They’re safe at the castle” Burger King said.

Burger King put an earthen vase on the ground between them. "What's that for?" Samuel asked. "Oh Sam! don't you belong to the NPG Music Club? Tap it with your nail" Prince instructed. Samuel cautiously tapped the vase with his nail and was suddenly in the castle's throne room! One by one the rest of the party appeared. "Don't you know you have to click on a vase to get anywhere on the NPG site? I mean it makes perfect sense." Prince explained.

Michael leaned toward Prince and asked.....
[Edited 4/23/05 13:59pm]

"Do you think I can borow that gold suit? I think it might just be Macauly's-- i mean my size?!" giving Prince a sheepish smile. With all that he had been through he couldn't help but feel sorry for his former JW brother. "yes u can have it. Have...fun." Michael let out a joyful yelp. " By the the way Michael," "Yes Prince?","Never do that noise in my presence again okay?"

"AHEM!" Prince said,"I think we should start Buttopia's march to emancipation with a celebration, just like I have a Paisley Park! Queenie invite everyone to the palace and let's party!" Prince's announcement was greeted with loud cheers. Prince asked Burger King for use of a private office for he and Mani to work in. Once the door was locked behind them, Prince kissed Mani passionately. "Miss me Boo Boo Kitty?" Prince whispered. Mani smiled and nibbled on Prince's ear. Their bodies pressed together in rising desire. Prince backed Mani over to the sofa as he unzipped the back of her dress. Mani lifted Prince's Jedi robe off and ordered, "Use the force, Prince! Use the force!" Prince eagerly complied. First he....
[Edited 4/23/05 18:04pm]

gave Mani a passionate kiss, then an idea an idea struck him. Prince stood back and extended his hands above Mani and closed his eyes. “Precious? What are you doing Precious?” Mani asked. Prince’s face twisted in deep concentration. “AAAAH!” Mani screamed, suprised by the wave of sexual pleasure that engulf her body. “OH MY LOVE!” The sensations raced through her body causing her to twitch in pure ecstacy. Unknown to Prince his use of the force’s exotic powers was affecting every woman on Buttopia! Back in the Secret Ladies Ultimate Tree House, Krystal666 was rocking back and forth screaming, “YES PRINCE YES!!” KLHK rolled on the floor whimpering, “JAYRADEE, OH BABY!!” The Buttopian woman humongous butts shook with unbelievable pleasure as walls crumbled around them. Finally Mani vision blur and the universe slip silently away as she sent one last scream echoing thru the hallways. Prince open his eyes, wiped the sweat off his brow, and said, “How’s that Baby? Baby? Mani wake up!
Come on! I didn’t get mines yet!” Prince tried to arouse Mani from her deep satisfied slumber in vain. Prince never felt so frustrated! His chubby throbbed tantalized with the thought of being with Mani. “The f***ing Force! I ,I...got an idea!” Prince held his hands directly in front of his Little Nelson, and concentrated. Almost instantly he felt the familiar rush. He closed his eyes and smiled. As before, Prince was unaware of the effect he was having on Buttopia. All over the planet men were suddenly thrown into a sexual high. Jayradee pumped his hips and called, “KHLK, BABY I NEED YOU!” Asianbomb777 wanged himself and moaned, “HUEY, HUEY HUEY!!” Anxiety bit his lips and moaned Prince’s name softly. OnionJuice called for "Beeeeyonce!!" Prince finally saw the purple rainbow above the dawn and came violently, spraying his cum all over Mani. Exhausted, Prince curled up on the floor in the fetal position.

While Buttopia recovered from the force....

The first of the party invitees arrives. Paula Abul walks into the castle and calls out "Hello", no one answers. Paula is relieved to be off of Earth, the lighter gravity on Buttopia is a blessing for her back injury. She really does have a back injury. It's from humping younger men. Why can't people understand, younger men take alot out of you? Paula thinks maybe she needs a change of pace. Prince she thinks....

As Paula was deep in thought, ZAAPP! She was transported to large empty room with no light. Paula cursed loudly and stumbled thru the darkest.

Meanwhile
Buttopia was waking up.
"Mani"
"Yes Honeybear?" Mani replied getting dressed.
"Go over there to the computer, and type what I say." Prince instructed his wife/assistant. Mani open Word program and Waited. "Remember, go slowly Prince. U didn't hire me 4 my typing skills!"

"Mmmm, how should I start" Prince said outloud. "Is that Mmm with three m's or four Love?" Mani asked. Prince was glad he had other clerical staff.

"Here's what I want you to type...."

Prince dictated for almost an hour. He showed Mani how to spell check again and printed his creation. "I'm going to revealed this at the party Mani. Buttopia will be the perfect society!"

"That's wonderful dear, let's get cleaned up." Mani and Prince headed off to a bath/dressing room to prepare for the celebration totally unware unfriendly eyes where watching from hidden cameras. Prince was pleased to find the NPG had been transported to Buttopia, along with their instruments. The Great Hall was beautifully decorated in shades of purple and white, with candles and flowers everywhere. The hall was filled to capacity when Prince approached the microphone.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of Buttopia. A new and better day is dawning. You have chosen me to lead you planet to true freedom and happiness, and I have in my hand the plan to do just that!"
Cheers!
"I give you the one and true way...Theocratic Order!"

Queen Unibusta rose from her throne couch and said...
[Edited 5/3/05 19:11pm]

'OH HELL NO! YOU DIMINUTIVE DIMWIT WOMEN RULE HERE!' Queen Unibusta roared.
Prince looked around nerviously, a mob of super-sized women was pushing toward him. 'TREVOR! TREVOR DEFEND!!' Prince yelled before he spotted his trusted bodyguard pinned to the floor by three four-hundred pounders. 'SETTLE DOWN, SETTLE DOWN!' Prince turned to see Mani, his beloved wife at the mike. 'What you Royal Purpleness means is God then Man serving God by serving Woman. Man's subservent role as provider of woman's needs makes him first not second to woman. Is that right Sweetiepoo?' Prince with a wide I look on his face nodded to save his mini-buns. Mani continued, 'For example my Princey, works hard on his music and touring to give me the lifestyle of the rich and famous. But he'll take his best stuff and lock it up, then spend a fortune on a video nobody will see if it wasn't for me. The boy is not that bright, I let him do the shopping and play in his studio while I make the deals. Thanks to me we are actually going to sale a Musicology Tour video, and stopped hiding out in colder than Satan's heart Minneasota.' Prince stood mute as Mani finished her address to Buttopia's women. 'So you see, let the boys take the lead as the so-called-head, but your the neck that turns the head!'

Prince looked at his equally diminutive wife and said...