Dr. Phil: "Hello, everybody. Welcome to a special two-hour episode of Dr. Phil. Today on the who show was a group of extravagent guests. To my left, we have pop-legend Prince and his loverly wife, Mani. How are you?"

Prince: "Great."
Mani: "Feeling good, feeling great."

Dr Phil: Alright. And to my right have 5 of his past music proteges. Umm....what are your names again?

Mayte: Mayte Garcia
Jill: Jill Jones
Ingrid: Ingrid Chavez
Robin: Robin Power
Apples: Patricia Apollonia Kotero

Pr Phil: "Okay. Y'all are here to speak out against your former mentor and put all of the cards on the table. And Im sure each of you have your own bone to pick with Prince and have lot to say. But lets start you you first, Robin Power. Robin?"

Robin: "Yeah, Phil?"
Dr Phil: "You seem to be the more aggressive of the bunch. Would that be because you come from a ecomonically-deprived community?"
Robin: "What...."
Dr Phil: "Let me rephrase the question. Are you are a section 8 girl?"
Robin: "What kinda question that? You brought me here to ask me that?"
Dr. Phil: "No, Robin. You're here to express your ill thoughts and in order to do that, we must first find out the origin of your hostile feelings."
Robin: "I aint hostile, gotdammit!"
Dr. Phil: "Okay, lets move on. What was your perception of Prince's persona when you knew him?"
Robin: "I don't know. Um, conceited. Self-righteous. A tease."

Dr. Phil: "A tease?"
Robin: "Yeah, he would stick his dick in just about every bitch that was around him except for me."
Dr. Phil: Oh?
Robin: "Yeah, he'd lay the freakdown everywhere. The movie set, the studio, backstage. I always heard bitches bragg about that he had a big cock and how good he was in bed. I wanted some too.

Dr. Phil: "Hmmm..."
Robin: I remember once back on the set of the "Bridge" during break between shots....

FLASHBACK TO 1989/1990 CIRCA

Its a foggy night in Minneapolis. Neon lights gloom the city. The cast crew of the movie are away. Robin Power stands on the side of the First Avenue club, lighting a Newport. When suddenly she hears hard panting and gasping. Robin peeps around the corner to the alley behind the club and sees Ingrid and Prince. Ingrid is naked, laying on the hood of a car with her legs wrapped around Prince's waist. Prince, with his feet still on the ground, is leaning over on top of her ramming his dick in her vagina repeatly. Ingrid's gasps and Prince's moans are insynch with each pound. Robin heards the sound Ingrid's naked asscheeks loudly squeaking against the hood of the car as it grinds against it, smearing the hood. Friction from the sex causes the car to rock lightly. Robin is spellbound. She feels the butterflies in her stomach. She's desires such pleasure to the point she cant even think straight. The sight of drool leaking out the side of Ingrid's mouth causes Robin's Newport to fall from her numb fingers as she watches under hypnosis. Robin then shuts her eyes, clinges her teeth and tightens her fists. A hour later, Prince & Ingrid are gone. Robin walks over to the car. He notices the smeared areas of the hood caused by Ingrid's ass grinding against it. Robin looks around and see no one else. Robin then leans over and smells the smeared hood and instantly gets a flashback in her mind of Prince ramming away Ingrid like a machine. The smell is of intensity. Robin pulls down her jeans and panties, and sits nude directly on the smearing and exhales.....

FLASH-FOWARD....


Dr. Phil: Interesting...

*As Robin emotionally recaps the memory, Mani's whispers in Prince's ear, then they both giggle.*

Dr. Phil: "Its okay, Robin. Lets talk about your involvement in the Graffiti Bridge project. You basically played as yourself, Robin with an attitude.

You had song you did the movie that introduced you to the world."

Robin: "I had a song called "Number One" that was supposed to be on the soudntrack. It was done over the "NPG" beat, but my version by axed from the soundtrack."

Dr. Phil: "You were workin on a rap album. What happened to that?"

Robin: "Prince shelved it. And wouldnt even put out the album sampler."

Ingrid: "Thank God."
Robin: "What? If I rememeber right, you're album wasn't a exactly a piece of work either. I mean, how hard is it to just talk a bunch of meaningless shit over music?"

Ingrid: "Whatever."

Prince: "I acutally enjoyed Ingrid's album."
Jill: Yeah, me too.
Apple: Same here.

Robin: "*bleep*...you! *bleep*...you! *bleep*...you! And *bleep*...you!

Dr. Phil: "Now, Robin, your role and your rapping skills, as well as the whole movie in general, was crushed and ridiculed by critters and reviews. Tell me, were you able to find work in the entertainment industry after that?"

Robin: "No. I was blacklisted in whole the industry. Acting, music, modeling, dancing. Couldnt do any of that."

Dr. Phil: "Thats awful. Why do you think you were blacklisted?"

Robin: "Envy and jealousy. They knew Robin Power was the best and that she would takeover and put alot of other entertainters out of work."

Dr. Phil: "Or it was because you sucked."
Robin: "Uh, Excuse me?"
Dr. Phil: "Maybe were blacklisted because you sucked."
Robin: "I aint suck at nothing"
Dr Phil: Its important to be honest with yourself and let it out.

*Robin begans to get choked up*

Robin: I-I guess...

Dr. Phil: Repeat after me. I, Robin Power, am no-talent, wash-rag...
Robin: What!!!!
Dr. Phil: Repeat after me. I, Robin Power....
Robin: No...*choked up*
Dr. Phil: "Robin, you have to do this. You have to...how do yall say it...'keep it real'. Not repeat after me. I, Robin Power..."
Robin: "I, Robin Power,...."
Dr. Phil: "Am a no-talent....Am a no-talent...."
Robin: "Am a no-talent...."
Dr. Phil: "Wash-rag"
Robin: "W-w-w-washrag"

Dr. Phil: "And the only way I'll ever have sex...."
Robin: "Huh?"
Dr. Phil: "Say it..."
Robin: "And the...only way...I-I-I'll ever have sex...."
Dr. Phil: "Is if I commit lesbian rape"
Robin: "Nah-Uh!"
Dr. Phil: "C'mon, Robin, you gotta say it. Keep it real...'shorty'. Shaw-tay. Keep it, keept it thoro, too."
Robin: *cryin* "An-an-an-an-and....th-th-the o-o-only w-w-w-way...Ill ever have s-sex....*pause*....IS IF I COMMITT LESBIAN RAPE!!!"

*Robin breaks down and runs backstage*

Dr. Phil: "She'll be fine. She just needs a minute to gather herself. Moving on....Apollonia."
Apples: "Hey, Doc!"
Dr. Phil: "Okay, the first question I wanna ask you is.....
[Edited 3/4/05 12:44pm]
[Edited 4/22/05 15:02pm]

woulda been better if this were an episode of jerry springer. jus' sayin.

Am I the only one who loves the Dr.Phil lookalike from the "7" video?! I will marry the person who can find a picture of that and paste it on here!

RazzBeret said:

wait--i think i know who you're talkin about...the dude who played mayte's dad, right? i'll do a quick screencap in a sec...

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

YES!!! Oh my gosh, can you get a pic for me?! I LOVE YOU!

RazzBeret said:

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

whens the wedding?

sosgemini said:

Dr.Phil from 7 will of course, be my best man.

Didn't Robin Power fuck Prince? How eles would she know his penis is suposedly 7.5 inches long?

Krystal666 said:

Lets just pretend she lied.

Dr. Phil: "Okay, before, we go any further, we have a call from talk show host, Bill O Reilly. O' Reilly, are you there?"

Bill O Reilly: *vibrating noise in the background* "Aaaaahhhhh..."
Dr. Phil: "Bill?"
Bill: "Hey, Phil."
Dr. Phil: "Hey there, Bill. How are you, buddy?"
Bill: "Im doin fine. Listen, listen, I know you're not gay and neither am I cause Im happily married and happily married men are certainly not gay. I am not a queerist."
Dr. Phil: "Queerist??? Uh, Bill...?"
Bill: "Listen, listen. Now imagine me and you stranded on a deserted island, with no food, nothing to eat but a bag of extasy pills and two bottles of whiskey. And its reeeee-heeaaally gettin hot..."
Dr. Phil: "Bill, now you wait just a minute...."
Bill: "LET ME FINISH, PHILLIP!"
Dr. Phil: *sighs*

Bill: "Alright, look. We're hot, we're sweating, we're all aroused up and the suns going down. We just radioed to civilization and they said can a rescue plane in the next 5 hours. Think about this. Whatever happens within those 5 hour on that island would stay that island and nobody else would never know. Now if ever such incident were to occur, would you let me do it?"

Dr. Phil: *sighs* "Do... what?"
Bill: "You know? Would you let me borrow the screwdriver? Hammer the wood? Use up the hot glue and "Phil" it back up from the back?"
Dr. Phil: "Omg..."

*Everybody else shocked...*

Bill: "Now was that a 'yes' as in 'YES! OMG! YES'? Or a..."
Dr. Phil: "No, it was 'OMG, we're currently live on the air right now'."
Bill: "This...this is on the air right now?"
Dr. Phil: "Yes, Bill."
Bill: "Really...the air? Live...on air?"
Dr. Phil: "Yes, Bill. Turn on your TV."
Bill: "Okay...."
D. Phil: "Do you see me talkin to you?"
Bill: "Umm, yes. This was all a big joke and my name is not really Bill O Reilly. Bye." *CLICK!*

*Long silence...*

Dr. Phil: "Okay, ummmm....where were, um...Look, I dont know him. Why is everybody staring at me?"

Prince: "Its your show."

Dr. Phil: "Right. I...I really truely dont not know him. I met him once and thats it."

Jill: "Are you blushing?"

Dr. Phil: "No I am certainly not, Im just deeply embarrassed and I apologize. I am truely sorry for accepting that call. Lets forget it ever happened, get it outta our systems and get back on with the show, PLEASE. Okay, now. Alright. O-kay. Now Appollonia...."

OnionJuice said:

this shit is too much!

what a fine imagination.....

Damn, I love the ORG!!!

Dr. Phil: "Okay, now Apollonia, what is your grudge with Prince?"

Apples: "Well, I dont really a grudge against him. You know, the Apollonia 6 thing, we wanted to go in one direction, but Prince wanted us to go another. It just didn't work."
Dr. Phil: "Then, if you don't mind me asking, why are you here?"
Apples: "Well...."
Jill: "Some people just never change."
Apples: "What?"
Dr. Phil: "Do you care to elaborate, Jill?"
Jill: I mean, it was same way back then with her. Why do you even exist?
Apples: Well, I can see you havent change either. You're still the same lil jealous bitch that you were before. Pathetic.

Dr. Phil: "Im confused here."
Apples: "Well, it all started on the set of Purple Rain..."
Dr Phil: "Wait a minute! Speakin of Purple Rain, we have co-stars Wendy and Lisa on the line right now. Girls, are you there?"

Wendy & Lisa: "Hi, Phil!"

Dr Phil: "Hey girls. Okay, lets start with your relationship with Prince."

Lisa: "Okay, uh, I joined the band in 1979."
Wendy: "And I joined in 1984."
Lisa: "But we've seen each other since we were kids."
Dr. Phil: "Okay now, which one are you? Wendy or Lisa?"
Lisa: "Im Lisa".
Dr. Phil: "You're Lisa. But which one are you? Are you the obese triple-chined one or the anoxeric freckle face one?"

Lisa: "What!!! I AM NOT OBESE!!"
Wendy: "And Im NOT an anoxeric freckle face!"
Dr. Phil: "Girls, girls, not need to get upset."
Lisa: "*bleep* YOU, ASSHOLE!!!! *CLICK*"

Dr. Phil: Well...I wanna thank Wendy and Lisa for finding time to pull themselves from off of one another to call in. And thats not allm we also have Vanity on the line. Vanity, are you there?

Vanity: "Hello, Dr. Phil! Please call me Denise."
Phil: "Okay, Denise, how are you?"
Vanity: "I'm blessed. Hi, Prince!"
Prince: "Hey, Denise."
Mani: "HEY, DENISE!"
Vanity: "Oh...hi, 'Man'."
Phil: "Okay! Alright, okay! Haha now, Denise, you dont seem to be an unhappy camper as these ex-lady proteges here. How is that?"

Vanity: "Well, time heals the heart and faith heals the rest."
Phil: "Oh, thats incredible! Do you..."
Vanity: "Have you spoke to the Father today?"
Dr Phil: "W-Well, I,uh...I,umm...well..."
Vanity: "Make sure you let Him know how much you love him."
Dr Phil: "I-I will. How's... *cut off again*"

Vanity: "He wants to hear from you. If you're believing for something in your life, 'believe' with out a doubt - your Father cares for you. He wants you to have your heart's desires. What you lose on earth, will be lost in Heaven. What you bind on Earth, will be bound in heaven. Thats a promise from Him. Believe it and receive it. Matthew chapter 7, verse 8 saids..."*CLICK!*

Dr Phil: Um, Denise seems to have been disconnected. We apologize for this unforunate mishap. Our engineers are looking into the matter as I speak

***In the control room***

Engineer 1: "Yo son, I remember when these chicks used to be hot, son."
Engineer 2: "Yeah now, they damn near old and shit."
Engineer 1: "Prince's wife dont look all that bad though, son...neither does his ex-wife either, kid."
Engineer 2: "I feel ya, dawg! I'd knock em both down at once, mayne."
Engineer 1: "Hell yea, son!"
Engineer 3: *burst through door* "Hey! Robin Power just gave me some pussy!"
Engineer 1 & 2: "Daaaaa-yam!!!"
Engineer 2: "Ay, how much you pay her, cuz?"

***back on the set***

Dr Phil: "In the meantime, lets get back to the...*interrupted*

Mani: "Wait! Before we go any further, I have a confession to make. Me & Mayte have been having a secret lesbian affair. Its been goin on since I began working at Paisley Park. It was even goin on in the last stages of Prince & Mayte's marriage. She divorced you to get with me, but then YOU married me. I cant wait to get back to hotel and eat her pussy."

Mayte: "I know its too late, but I also a small confession. While Prince and I were married, I also had sex with Marva King. I even tossed her salad...twice."

Ingrid: "And I have a confession to make as well. I was born a hermaphadite. And I am working on a new spoken word album called "the Best Of Both Worlds".

Apples: "And I have a confession to make. Prince, everytime we had sex...I faked it. I should've won an Emmy. If only you had just two more inches of dick..."

And I have confession to make, this story is gettin kinda tired now.

OnionJuice said:

:Falloff:

TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK

I'm Lesile Stall.
Tonight on Sixty Minutes I have an exclusive one on one interview with
The Purple One - Prince.

I'll ask him about his recent re-emergence in the public spotlight, including his recent appearances on award shows, and the Hollywood party circut.
What has changed for the now top-selling pop icon?
We'll find out next when I talk to his Royal Badness Prince.

TICK TICK TICK TICK TICK

This is Dr. Phil thingy is sooooo freaking funny

**CELEBRATING ONE MONTH AND A FEW DAYS TO THE DAY THAT I WROTE THIS STORY**




Uncensored:

Ingrid: "Whatever."
Prince: "I acutally enjoyed Ingrid's album."
Jill: Yeah, me too.
Apple: Same here.
Robin: "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! And Fuck you!

Deleted Part

During a commercial break....

Dr. Phil: "Where did Robin go?"
Producer: "She's backstage.
Dr. Phil: "Tell her she did a great job. I think the people will acutally believe it was real. Very Oscar-worthy. And how did O' Reilly's call come through on the show?
Producer: "I dont know..."
Dr. Phil: "Oh and call up Wendy and Lisa, and tell them thats there's no hard feelings. This is my job and this is what I do. But they just need to accept what they are."
Prodcer: "Speaking of which, we have Wendy & Lisa and Vanity on the line waiting."
Dr. Phil: "Slendid!"
Producer: We're coming back from commerical break...

RazzBeret said:

That was really him?