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Reply #300 posted 01/10/17 10:15am

TOB

laurarichardson said:

Lola49purplebluerain said:

laurarichardson said: The big bad LauraRichardson I have seen and read many of your post while lurking on the org and have been well aware of your attitude that I had already decided that if you were to respond to any of my post to not only ignore you but also not to respond to you after this post but it has been a honor and no I am not trying to run anyone off this board I just don't completely agree or believe with this quote valuable information and I know that it's okay for me to have this point of view

Yet you took the time to respond. You can have any opinion that you like. TOB was Vanity's brother in law I will take what he has to say over your opinion. What is not valuable to you may be valuable to others.

Pragmatic sceptic, is what I thought when you (laurarichardson) responded to my posting the letters.

DeBorah mentions and speaks about Prince with admiration, forever grateful for what he did when Tony Lemans pasted in 1992.

I revealed the letters to show his generosity, and believing that he had done the same for Denise, if not much much more.

It should be evident that I have no problem with being ask a question or even with the questioning of my intent. Otherwise I will not understand what is at issue and what is misunderstood.

I try not to encourage certain type of dialog and altogether avoid most tabloid type subjects.

If I didn't ask and didn't know about Vanity and Prince's relationship, I definitely didn’t ask and don’t know a thing about his many other relationships to know that I’m posting something that would somehow contradict someone’s narrative.

Favorite pastime? : Poetry, baking, biking, lurking…

2funny

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Reply #301 posted 01/10/17 1:26pm

TOB

Vashtix said:

TOB said:

A year ago tomorrow on January 4th (Denise birthday) is the last day I spent time with her.

The next time I would see her is at 3:03am on February 15th as she lay in a hospital bed. Nine hours later I’m standing at her bedside holding her hand hopelessly watching her die.

I read that the other day but I just was too choked up to respond but today with time to process it I have to say just WOW.

It is so hard lose a loved one but to be there watching them die really walks within you the rest of your days. There is nothing like watching a birth and being present at a death. There are no words to express sympathy or compassion for that because I have experienced the same. It is with you just like breathing you cannot help it. You feel the loss even when you don't want to.

You limp on through life though but it is never ever the same. EVER.

It brings you even closer to the loved one you see die. It is strange but the bond for me seemed stronger after the experience.

Much respect, prayers, and all good thoughts to you TOB and your family.

Thank You Vashtix

I know and I am very sorry that you understand.

For the following 3 months I was extremely angry.

I truly believed that I could have saved her.

I was there and took care of her the last two times she was in the hospital in mid-2015. Ironically for months I was initially mainly concerned with her opiate use as being the cause of her hospitalization. I would even count them on my visits, but they were eventually ruled out as the cause.

I blamed myself for leaving town that weekend and for being out of cellphone range, hundreds of miles away up in the Redwoods near the Oregon board.

I blamed her and others for not calling me sooner, only to find (2 weeks later) that they had tried to reach me on the afternoon of the February 14th; while I was out of range and back then I never checked my voice messages.

My name being deliberately removed from the obituary, I wasn’t notified or invited to her cremation, and my not being invited to the memorial service did not help matters regarding the grieving process.

You have described my actions most accurately with “You limp on through life…”

Honestly, I am only now beginning to recognize it as a permanent injury.

Those who knew how close we were are beginning to explaining to me what they observed regarding our relationship, how and how much we communicated, and how often we saw one another. It’s not like I needed to drop everything or would even answer every call or text if I knew it wasn’t important. To an observer her calls were usually constant and mostly brief, as if she called to express a thought she wanted to share.

Also, it’s that I had worried about her for so many years.

I carried her when she couldn’t walk, fed her, helped her dress and put her to bed when she was weak. I’d take her shopping, fix her car, move her storage, take her cats to the vet, fed feral cats at locations around the city, etc.… I thought I was just there doing what I would have done and have done for anyone that has ask me for help. I just didn’t think much about it. Finding out later just how much she thought about it and how much it meant.

I wish I had treated it more precious.

We did so much together, but mostly we’d just hangout, cook and talk about everything, with Jesus being ask for help or being praised in every other breathe.

Though I had helped her a few times before it wasn’t until 2006 that we began to get close.

I don’t remember why that year she needed me to take her shopping for materials for her book, which would turn into an entire day with lunch and dinner.

I expected nothing and wanted nothing… or so I thought.

Just one day, an hour or just 10mins more.

I had forgotten all those hours I waited, worried watching her sleep. Seeing her laying there last year on the morning of the 15th I knew it was different, I search for any sign of her being there, I just didn’t want to accept it.

I know You understand Vashtix

again Thank You

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Reply #302 posted 01/10/17 1:33pm

Goddess4Real

avatar

I have never seen this pic before with John Stamos biggrin

Keep Calm & Listen To Prince
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Reply #303 posted 01/10/17 2:50pm

PennyPurple

avatar

TOB said:

Vashtix said:

I read that the other day but I just was too choked up to respond but today with time to process it I have to say just WOW.

It is so hard lose a loved one but to be there watching them die really walks within you the rest of your days. There is nothing like watching a birth and being present at a death. There are no words to express sympathy or compassion for that because I have experienced the same. It is with you just like breathing you cannot help it. You feel the loss even when you don't want to.

You limp on through life though but it is never ever the same. EVER.

It brings you even closer to the loved one you see die. It is strange but the bond for me seemed stronger after the experience.

Much respect, prayers, and all good thoughts to you TOB and your family.

Thank You Vashtix

I know and I am very sorry that you understand.

For the following 3 months I was extremely angry.

I truly believed that I could have saved her.

I was there and took care of her the last two times she was in the hospital in mid-2015. Ironically for months I was initially mainly concerned with her opiate use as being the cause of her hospitalization. I would even count them on my visits, but they were eventually ruled out as the cause.

I blamed myself for leaving town that weekend and for being out of cellphone range, hundreds of miles away up in the Redwoods near the Oregon board.

I blamed her and others for not calling me sooner, only to find (2 weeks later) that they had tried to reach me on the afternoon of the February 14th; while I was out of range and back then I never checked my voice messages.

My name being deliberately removed from the obituary, I wasn’t notified or invited to her cremation, and my not being invited to the memorial service did not help matters regarding the grieving process.

You have described my actions most accurately with “You limp on through life…”

Honestly, I am only now beginning to recognize it as a permanent injury.

Those who knew how close we were are beginning to explaining to me what they observed regarding our relationship, how and how much we communicated, and how often we saw one another. It’s not like I needed to drop everything or would even answer every call or text if I knew it wasn’t important. To an observer her calls were usually constant and mostly brief, as if she called to express a thought she wanted to share.

Also, it’s that I had worried about her for so many years.

I carried her when she couldn’t walk, fed her, helped her dress and put her to bed when she was weak. I’d take her shopping, fix her car, move her storage, take her cats to the vet, fed feral cats at locations around the city, etc.… I thought I was just there doing what I would have done and have done for anyone that has ask me for help. I just didn’t think much about it. Finding out later just how much she thought about it and how much it meant.

I wish I had treated it more precious.

We did so much together, but mostly we’d just hangout, cook and talk about everything, with Jesus being ask for help or being praised in every other breathe.

Though I had helped her a few times before it wasn’t until 2006 that we began to get close.

I don’t remember why that year she needed me to take her shopping for materials for her book, which would turn into an entire day with lunch and dinner.

I expected nothing and wanted nothing… or so I thought.

Just one day, an hour or just 10mins more.

I had forgotten all those hours I waited, worried watching her sleep. Seeing her laying there last year on the morning of the 15th I knew it was different, I search for any sign of her being there, I just didn’t want to accept it.

I know You understand Vashtix

again Thank You

If I may ask, are you her brother, or brother in law? Feel free to message me if you don't feel comfortable answering on the forum.

Peace & Love.

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Reply #304 posted 01/10/17 3:14pm

PaisleyPrint

TOB said:

Vashtix said:

I read that the other day but I just was too choked up to respond but today with time to process it I have to say just WOW.

It is so hard lose a loved one but to be there watching them die really walks within you the rest of your days. There is nothing like watching a birth and being present at a death. There are no words to express sympathy or compassion for that because I have experienced the same. It is with you just like breathing you cannot help it. You feel the loss even when you don't want to.

You limp on through life though but it is never ever the same. EVER.

It brings you even closer to the loved one you see die. It is strange but the bond for me seemed stronger after the experience.

Much respect, prayers, and all good thoughts to you TOB and your family.

Thank You Vashtix

I know and I am very sorry that you understand.

For the following 3 months I was extremely angry.

I truly believed that I could have saved her.

I was there and took care of her the last two times she was in the hospital in mid-2015. Ironically for months I was initially mainly concerned with her opiate use as being the cause of her hospitalization. I would even count them on my visits, but they were eventually ruled out as the cause.

I blamed myself for leaving town that weekend and for being out of cellphone range, hundreds of miles away up in the Redwoods near the Oregon board.

I blamed her and others for not calling me sooner, only to find (2 weeks later) that they had tried to reach me on the afternoon of the February 14th; while I was out of range and back then I never checked my voice messages.

My name being deliberately removed from the obituary, I wasn’t notified or invited to her cremation, and my not being invited to the memorial service did not help matters regarding the grieving process.

You have described my actions most accurately with “You limp on through life…”

Honestly, I am only now beginning to recognize it as a permanent injury.

Those who knew how close we were are beginning to explaining to me what they observed regarding our relationship, how and how much we communicated, and how often we saw one another. It’s not like I needed to drop everything or would even answer every call or text if I knew it wasn’t important. To an observer her calls were usually constant and mostly brief, as if she called to express a thought she wanted to share.

Also, it’s that I had worried about her for so many years.

I carried her when she couldn’t walk, fed her, helped her dress and put her to bed when she was weak. I’d take her shopping, fix her car, move her storage, take her cats to the vet, fed feral cats at locations around the city, etc.… I thought I was just there doing what I would have done and have done for anyone that has ask me for help. I just didn’t think much about it. Finding out later just how much she thought about it and how much it meant.

I wish I had treated it more precious.

We did so much together, but mostly we’d just hangout, cook and talk about everything, with Jesus being ask for help or being praised in every other breathe.

Though I had helped her a few times before it wasn’t until 2006 that we began to get close.

I don’t remember why that year she needed me to take her shopping for materials for her book, which would turn into an entire day with lunch and dinner.

I expected nothing and wanted nothing… or so I thought.

Just one day, an hour or just 10mins more.

I had forgotten all those hours I waited, worried watching her sleep. Seeing her laying there last year on the morning of the 15th I knew it was different, I search for any sign of her being there, I just didn’t want to accept it.

I know You understand Vashtix

again Thank You

This post sounds an awful lot like lovers to me rather than an in-law. But hey, it's all good...

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Reply #305 posted 01/10/17 3:25pm

PennyPurple

avatar

PaisleyPrint said:

This post sounds an awful lot like lovers to me rather than an in-law. But hey, it's all good...

I can't figure out the relationship, but you are right it does sound that way.

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Reply #306 posted 01/10/17 3:29pm

LoveHAteSeXYwH
y

luvgirl said:

Lola49purplebluerain said:

The full quote I found and read is Prince saying they loved one another deeply he loved her for the artist she was trying to be she loved him for the artist he was is this not the true full quote ? if it is then I am not going to go into it regarding my opinion with that quote but I do see a certain amount of resentment from some people towards the Melvoin twins for the past few months just in general when certain threads about them pop up and for certain ladies and gent on here and other websites that I have read there is top five competitions going on with ranking who was the love of his life I know I definitely saw that on here and other websites when Prince first died I don't think there is need to minimize anything it just with the facts that have been presented about their relationship from Vanity point of view it sounds no different than the other relationships and certain habits that I have read about I guess I am trying to figure out what the point of having this information come out now ?

Since when did his saying he loved her deeply became a thing to analyze and create a run on sentence to then try to make it so that its not what he really meant? confuse Not hating though. To each it's own. Purple love. yes

Strange , just saw and read a quick discussion on another website about Prince quote :'She loved him for the artist he was ,he loved her for the artist she was trying to be .That is what he said and meant. I have read your shrill posts here and on other threads and I know you stan for PnV relationship all day erday , but let's not try to change what he said because of your intense fandom allow you the problem of not seeing reality for what it is , but for what you, and other stans on here want it to be.

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Reply #307 posted 01/10/17 3:34pm

LoveHAteSeXYwH
y

TOB said:

A year ago tomorrow on January 4th (Denise birthday) is the last day I spent time with her.

The next time I would see her is at 3:03am on February 15th as she lay in a hospital bed. Nine hours later I’m standing at her bedside holding her hand hopelessly watching her die.

The articles I posted were Denise’s, they were in her storage unit, which I didn’t receive until April, and which I never read until that day I posted them.

My reason for posting them is 3 fold. One, they relate to a claim I had previously mention in this thread regarding Denise stating that she had wrote some of the lyrics to Nasty Girl. Two, that Denise was an artist, painted and wrote lyrics prior to meeting Prince. Three, that Denise was a paid artist, a working model and actress, had made movies, had movie offers and was considered a rising star; someone to be watched before she met Prince.

With regard to this thread, in my opinion, based upon what I have recently read in her writings, I believed that the “Him” in the song “The Beautiful Ones” was not about Morris Day, and therefore responded to this thread for that reason, hinting at a possibility of who the “Him” might be. I was certain it wasn’t Jesus.

Furthermore, these articles are very old, saying nothing new and they appear to confirm a belief and statements made by Prince. Making no controversy or attempting to deny or taking anything away from anyone.

However, if any statement or posting bring to light a question, an epiphany, a revelation, a new understanding or cause speculation, isn’t that what the Org is for?

Or is it that you are questioning my intent? Which means I’ll just go back to doing what I was doing; waiting for a mattress to be delivered, which finally arrive soon after my last posting.

Now, with this new found information regarding Denise mentioning “Strange Relationship” and as a poet who has faithfully participated in poetry groups, reading and commenting on members writes, I am willing speculate on what mused a poet like Prince to write a certain piece.

As a member of the Org I am even willing to put up with people questioning my intent when I am just sharing something I find interesting.

I just can’t believe they that I am actually being asked why I waited for Prince to die before posting these old articles, as if this information is new news.

Not questioning the content but my reason for now putting out this “information” as if I knew you didn’t know about it.

The irony is, after Denise passed I would stop by the Org and tried to read a little, before becoming overwhelmed, closing my computer and busy myself with something else, like not answer my phone. I thought everyone here knew so much more about “Vanity” than I did.

It took months before began organizing Denise’s items and reading her writings, starting with her poetry.

What I found I shared, mainly because I was sharing what I knew about Denise that I want others also to know; her poetry and art. This has been my stated agenda.

Furthermore, questioning not my statements (which no one can because I am either quoting or telling you what I believe), asking why now with regard to this old information as if it has value, thus questioning why I am not selling it.

If these old articles are news to you, then the November 1987 EBONY magazine will shock you.

Lastly, when Denise ask Prince about what Brenda had said to her, about him belonging to Susan, I did not state his response. My point had nothing to do with anything other than his intent and what he just did to her that set the stage for their unstable and explosive relationship.

In other words, He started it.

I have read associates have their intentions question ever since Prince died ,Sheila E being the poster child. I have also seen Prince family, his sister in particular get the same kind of questioning with the infor that she knew Prince was going to die ,and was not shocked when he did . She is his kin ,and people and fans question her . So who and in what world do you think your intent,contents of new and old infor is not immuned to the same type of scrutiny ?

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Reply #308 posted 01/10/17 3:37pm

LoveHAteSeXYwH
y

TOB said:

A year ago tomorrow on January 4th (Denise birthday) is the last day I spent time with her.

The next time I would see her is at 3:03am on February 15th as she lay in a hospital bed. Nine hours later I’m standing at her bedside holding her hand hopelessly watching her die.

The articles I posted were Denise’s, they were in her storage unit, which I didn’t receive until April, and which I never read until that day I posted them.

My reason for posting them is 3 fold. One, they relate to a claim I had previously mention in this thread regarding Denise stating that she had wrote some of the lyrics to Nasty Girl. Two, that Denise was an artist, painted and wrote lyrics prior to meeting Prince. Three, that Denise was a paid artist, a working model and actress, had made movies, had movie offers and was considered a rising star; someone to be watched before she met Prince.

With regard to this thread, in my opinion, based upon what I have recently read in her writings, I believed that the “Him” in the song “The Beautiful Ones” was not about Morris Day, and therefore responded to this thread for that reason, hinting at a possibility of who the “Him” might be. I was certain it wasn’t Jesus.

Furthermore, these articles are very old, saying nothing new and they appear to confirm a belief and statements made by Prince. Making no controversy or attempting to deny or taking anything away from anyone.

However, if any statement or posting bring to light a question, an epiphany, a revelation, a new understanding or cause speculation, isn’t that what the Org is for?

Or is it that you are questioning my intent? Which means I’ll just go back to doing what I was doing; waiting for a mattress to be delivered, which finally arrive soon after my last posting.

Now, with this new found information regarding Denise mentioning “Strange Relationship” and as a poet who has faithfully participated in poetry groups, reading and commenting on members writes, I am willing speculate on what mused a poet like Prince to write a certain piece.

As a member of the Org I am even willing to put up with people questioning my intent when I am just sharing something I find interesting.

I just can’t believe they that I am actually being asked why I waited for Prince to die before posting these old articles, as if this information is new news.

Not questioning the content but my reason for now putting out this “information” as if I knew you didn’t know about it.

The irony is, after Denise passed I would stop by the Org and tried to read a little, before becoming overwhelmed, closing my computer and busy myself with something else, like not answer my phone. I thought everyone here knew so much more about “Vanity” than I did.

It took months before began organizing Denise’s items and reading her writings, starting with her poetry.

What I found I shared, mainly because I was sharing what I knew about Denise that I want others also to know; her poetry and art. This has been my stated agenda.

Furthermore, questioning not my statements (which no one can because I am either quoting or telling you what I believe), asking why now with regard to this old information as if it has value, thus questioning why I am not selling it.

If these old articles are news to you, then the November 1987 EBONY magazine will shock you.

Lastly, when Denise ask Prince about what Brenda had said to her, about him belonging to Susan, I did not state his response. My point had nothing to do with anything other than his intent and what he just did to her that set the stage for their unstable and explosive relationship.

In other words, He started it.

I have read associates have their intentions question ever since Prince died ,Sheila E being the poster child. I have also seen Prince family, his sister in particular get the same kind of questioning with the infor that she knew Prince was going to die ,and was not shocked when he did . She is his kin ,and people and fans question her . So who and in what world do you think your intent,contents of new and old infor is not immuned to the same type of scrutiny ?

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Reply #309 posted 01/10/17 3:44pm

PennyPurple

avatar

LoveHAteSeXYwHy said:

TOB said:

A year ago tomorrow on January 4th (Denise birthday) is the last day I spent time with her.

The next time I would see her is at 3:03am on February 15th as she lay in a hospital bed. Nine hours later I’m standing at her bedside holding her hand hopelessly watching her die.

The articles I posted were Denise’s, they were in her storage unit, which I didn’t receive until April, and which I never read until that day I posted them.

My reason for posting them is 3 fold. One, they relate to a claim I had previously mention in this thread regarding Denise stating that she had wrote some of the lyrics to Nasty Girl. Two, that Denise was an artist, painted and wrote lyrics prior to meeting Prince. Three, that Denise was a paid artist, a working model and actress, had made movies, had movie offers and was considered a rising star; someone to be watched before she met Prince.

With regard to this thread, in my opinion, based upon what I have recently read in her writings, I believed that the “Him” in the song “The Beautiful Ones” was not about Morris Day, and therefore responded to this thread for that reason, hinting at a possibility of who the “Him” might be. I was certain it wasn’t Jesus.

Furthermore, these articles are very old, saying nothing new and they appear to confirm a belief and statements made by Prince. Making no controversy or attempting to deny or taking anything away from anyone.

However, if any statement or posting bring to light a question, an epiphany, a revelation, a new understanding or cause speculation, isn’t that what the Org is for?

Or is it that you are questioning my intent? Which means I’ll just go back to doing what I was doing; waiting for a mattress to be delivered, which finally arrive soon after my last posting.

Now, with this new found information regarding Denise mentioning “Strange Relationship” and as a poet who has faithfully participated in poetry groups, reading and commenting on members writes, I am willing speculate on what mused a poet like Prince to write a certain piece.

As a member of the Org I am even willing to put up with people questioning my intent when I am just sharing something I find interesting.

I just can’t believe they that I am actually being asked why I waited for Prince to die before posting these old articles, as if this information is new news.

Not questioning the content but my reason for now putting out this “information” as if I knew you didn’t know about it.

The irony is, after Denise passed I would stop by the Org and tried to read a little, before becoming overwhelmed, closing my computer and busy myself with something else, like not answer my phone. I thought everyone here knew so much more about “Vanity” than I did.

It took months before began organizing Denise’s items and reading her writings, starting with her poetry.

What I found I shared, mainly because I was sharing what I knew about Denise that I want others also to know; her poetry and art. This has been my stated agenda.

Furthermore, questioning not my statements (which no one can because I am either quoting or telling you what I believe), asking why now with regard to this old information as if it has value, thus questioning why I am not selling it.

If these old articles are news to you, then the November 1987 EBONY magazine will shock you.

Lastly, when Denise ask Prince about what Brenda had said to her, about him belonging to Susan, I did not state his response. My point had nothing to do with anything other than his intent and what he just did to her that set the stage for their unstable and explosive relationship.

In other words, He started it.

I have read associates have their intentions question ever since Prince died ,Sheila E being the poster child. I have also seen Prince family, his sister in particular get the same kind of questioning with the infor that she knew Prince was going to die ,and was not shocked when he did . She is his kin ,and people and fans question her . So who and in what world do you think your intent,contents of new and old infor is not immuned to the same type of scrutiny ?

Stop being rude.

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Reply #310 posted 01/10/17 5:29pm

luvgirl

Goddess4Real said:

I have never seen this pic before with John Stamos biggrin






Cool, nice find. biggrin
Sometimes I wish that life was never ending, but all good things they say never last. Love it isn't love until it's past. ~RIP my Prince~
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Reply #311 posted 01/10/17 7:06pm

TOB

PaisleyPrint said:

TOB said:

Thank You Vashtix

I know and I am very sorry that you understand.

For the following 3 months I was extremely angry.

I truly believed that I could have saved her.

I was there and took care of her the last two times she was in the hospital in mid-2015. Ironically for months I was initially mainly concerned with her opiate use as being the cause of her hospitalization. I would even count them on my visits, but they were eventually ruled out as the cause.

I blamed myself for leaving town that weekend and for being out of cellphone range, hundreds of miles away up in the Redwoods near the Oregon board.

I blamed her and others for not calling me sooner, only to find (2 weeks later) that they had tried to reach me on the afternoon of the February 14th; while I was out of range and back then I never checked my voice messages.

My name being deliberately removed from the obituary, I wasn’t notified or invited to her cremation, and my not being invited to the memorial service did not help matters regarding the grieving process.

You have described my actions most accurately with “You limp on through life…”

Honestly, I am only now beginning to recognize it as a permanent injury.

Those who knew how close we were are beginning to explaining to me what they observed regarding our relationship, how and how much we communicated, and how often we saw one another. It’s not like I needed to drop everything or would even answer every call or text if I knew it wasn’t important. To an observer her calls were usually constant and mostly brief, as if she called to express a thought she wanted to share.

Also, it’s that I had worried about her for so many years.

I carried her when she couldn’t walk, fed her, helped her dress and put her to bed when she was weak. I’d take her shopping, fix her car, move her storage, take her cats to the vet, fed feral cats at locations around the city, etc.… I thought I was just there doing what I would have done and have done for anyone that has ask me for help. I just didn’t think much about it. Finding out later just how much she thought about it and how much it meant.

I wish I had treated it more precious.

We did so much together, but mostly we’d just hangout, cook and talk about everything, with Jesus being ask for help or being praised in every other breathe.

Though I had helped her a few times before it wasn’t until 2006 that we began to get close.

I don’t remember why that year she needed me to take her shopping for materials for her book, which would turn into an entire day with lunch and dinner.

I expected nothing and wanted nothing… or so I thought.

Just one day, an hour or just 10mins more.

I had forgotten all those hours I waited, worried watching her sleep. Seeing her laying there last year on the morning of the 15th I knew it was different, I search for any sign of her being there, I just didn’t want to accept it.

I know You understand Vashtix

again Thank You

This post sounds an awful lot like lovers to me rather than an in-law. But hey, it's all good...

Now that’s a sad commentary, but understandable and not unexpected.

Over the years Denise and I have disagreed, argued and fought over a number of issues.

Except when she was sick I kept my distance for a number of reasons.

She was an evangelist and I was concerned with appearances.

Her celebrity kept her busy writing speeches and traveling so I rarely called her.

She was my son’s aunt, my wife’s sister and one of my best friends.

She reminded me too much of her sister.

I help people… total strangers, that’s what I do and have always done for friends, uncles, aunts, grandparents and church members. My parents often volunteered their 7 sons to help anyone in need.

You would not believe how many strangers’ cars I've pushed out of the street.

Over the past month I’ve helped a stranger change the battery, fix a flat tire and bought a gas can went got gas, only asking them to pay it forward to someone else.

I feed the neighbors cats when their out of town, house sat for a friend from the 18th to 23 last December, bought and installed a garage door opener at an exgirlfriends mothers house and helped another friend with a civil suit, all in December.

When someone says I know a guy, I’m usually the guy their talking about.

Denise also gave of herself total strangers.

Sent money to police, firefighter, humane societies and gave her church hundreds of thousands.

I have thousands of her canceled checks going back to the early 90’s prove it.

People will believe what they want.

I believe what I have done for others has been returned to me 10 times over.

I loved Denise and she told me often how much she loved me… as her brother

She was deserving of every seconds I was able to give her.

So “Yes” I guess I do understand how it sounds or how it may look.

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Reply #312 posted 01/10/17 7:42pm

Shard

TOB said:

Thank you for posting and pointing the artwork out to me. I had seen this video a few months back, obviously before this thread and its focus upon her as an artist the way it has. I just didn't put the 2 together, mainly because the artwork is not mentioned in the footage that was released.

It is evident from other magazine interview that spoke about her art but did not show any photographs of it and this video that showed it but didn't speak of it, I'm willing to bet that her paintings were almost always out during interviews they just weren't important to the management of news agency.

I do remember seeing something with Betty Boop, I just don't recall what it was.

She had a few comic books and other cartoon characters in her storage.

Thanks again

TOB I'm glad I could help you in some way. BTW there was an interview she gave, I think it may have been on 1 of her appearances with Joan Rivers, in which she talked about being in the process of making a big art piece in the shape of a boombox.

As for your post tonight, I'm sorry to hear of what you went through during the last year.

Also, I hope you don't feel as if you have to defend yourself on here. Sure, a few posters always dismiss and question everything that is contrary to what they think they already know, but I know most of the posters in this thread have been enjoying your posts about Denise/Vanity. You provide us with unique insight so again, thank you!

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Reply #313 posted 01/10/17 7:56pm

TOB

LoveHAteSeXYwHy said:

TOB said:

A year ago tomorrow on January 4th (Denise birthday) is the last day I spent time with her.

The next time I would see her is at 3:03am on February 15th as she lay in a hospital bed. Nine hours later I’m standing at her bedside holding her hand hopelessly watching her die.

The articles I posted were Denise’s, they were in her storage unit, which I didn’t receive until April, and which I never read until that day I posted them.

My reason for posting them is 3 fold. One, they relate to a claim I had previously mention in this thread regarding Denise stating that she had wrote some of the lyrics to Nasty Girl. Two, that Denise was an artist, painted and wrote lyrics prior to meeting Prince. Three, that Denise was a paid artist, a working model and actress, had made movies, had movie offers and was considered a rising star; someone to be watched before she met Prince.

With regard to this thread, in my opinion, based upon what I have recently read in her writings, I believed that the “Him” in the song “The Beautiful Ones” was not about Morris Day, and therefore responded to this thread for that reason, hinting at a possibility of who the “Him” might be. I was certain it wasn’t Jesus.

Furthermore, these articles are very old, saying nothing new and they appear to confirm a belief and statements made by Prince. Making no controversy or attempting to deny or taking anything away from anyone.

However, if any statement or posting bring to light a question, an epiphany, a revelation, a new understanding or cause speculation, isn’t that what the Org is for?

Or is it that you are questioning my intent? Which means I’ll just go back to doing what I was doing; waiting for a mattress to be delivered, which finally arrive soon after my last posting.

Now, with this new found information regarding Denise mentioning “Strange Relationship” and as a poet who has faithfully participated in poetry groups, reading and commenting on members writes, I am willing speculate on what mused a poet like Prince to write a certain piece.

As a member of the Org I am even willing to put up with people questioning my intent when I am just sharing something I find interesting.

I just can’t believe they that I am actually being asked why I waited for Prince to die before posting these old articles, as if this information is new news.

Not questioning the content but my reason for now putting out this “information” as if I knew you didn’t know about it.

The irony is, after Denise passed I would stop by the Org and tried to read a little, before becoming overwhelmed, closing my computer and busy myself with something else, like not answer my phone. I thought everyone here knew so much more about “Vanity” than I did.

It took months before began organizing Denise’s items and reading her writings, starting with her poetry.

What I found I shared, mainly because I was sharing what I knew about Denise that I want others also to know; her poetry and art. This has been my stated agenda.

Furthermore, questioning not my statements (which no one can because I am either quoting or telling you what I believe), asking why now with regard to this old information as if it has value, thus questioning why I am not selling it.

If these old articles are news to you, then the November 1987 EBONY magazine will shock you.

Lastly, when Denise ask Prince about what Brenda had said to her, about him belonging to Susan, I did not state his response. My point had nothing to do with anything other than his intent and what he just did to her that set the stage for their unstable and explosive relationship.

In other words, He started it.

I have read associates have their intentions question ever since Prince died ,Sheila E being the poster child. I have also seen Prince family, his sister in particular get the same kind of questioning with the infor that she knew Prince was going to die ,and was not shocked when he did . She is his kin ,and people and fans question her . So who and in what world do you think your intent,contents of new and old infor is not immuned to the same type of scrutiny ?

I am immune from scrutiny by people to lazy to read.

My intent with regard to the content of those old articles is stated clearly within the thread,

and specifically stated within the post you attached.

My question to you is, Did you read it?

Prior to that posting my intent is stated as it is in this post "her poetry and art. This has been my stated agenda."

Did you read that?

Your issue seems to be with the magazine or the writer.

How dare they print such things 30 years ago, right?

Shameful...

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Reply #314 posted 01/10/17 7:57pm

PennyPurple

avatar

TOB said:

PaisleyPrint said:

This post sounds an awful lot like lovers to me rather than an in-law. But hey, it's all good...

Now that’s a sad commentary, but understandable and not unexpected.

Over the years Denise and I have disagreed, argued and fought over a number of issues.

Except when she was sick I kept my distance for a number of reasons.

She was an evangelist and I was concerned with appearances.

Her celebrity kept her busy writing speeches and traveling so I rarely called her.

She was my son’s aunt, my wife’s sister and one of my best friends.

She reminded me too much of her sister.

I help people… total strangers, that’s what I do and have always done for friends, uncles, aunts, grandparents and church members. My parents often volunteered their 7 sons to help anyone in need.

You would not believe how many strangers’ cars I've pushed out of the street.

Over the past month I’ve helped a stranger change the battery, fix a flat tire and bought a gas can went got gas, only asking them to pay it forward to someone else.

I feed the neighbors cats when their out of town, house sat for a friend from the 18th to 23 last December, bought and installed a garage door opener at an exgirlfriends mothers house and helped another friend with a civil suit, all in December.

When someone says I know a guy, I’m usually the guy their talking about.

Denise also gave of herself total strangers.

Sent money to police, firefighter, humane societies and gave her church hundreds of thousands.

I have thousands of her canceled checks going back to the early 90’s prove it.

People will believe what they want.

I believe what I have done for others has been returned to me 10 times over.

I loved Denise and she told me often how much she loved me… as her brother

She was deserving of every seconds I was able to give her.

So “Yes” I guess I do understand how it sounds or how it may look.

I wish there were more people like you TOB. I understand what you are saying now, about 'brother'. You are the best, thank you so much for sharing with us.

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Reply #315 posted 01/10/17 8:02pm

TOB

PennyPurple said:

TOB said:

Thank You Vashtix

I know and I am very sorry that you understand.

For the following 3 months I was extremely angry.

I truly believed that I could have saved her.

I was there and took care of her the last two times she was in the hospital in mid-2015. Ironically for months I was initially mainly concerned with her opiate use as being the cause of her hospitalization. I would even count them on my visits, but they were eventually ruled out as the cause.

I blamed myself for leaving town that weekend and for being out of cellphone range, hundreds of miles away up in the Redwoods near the Oregon board.

I blamed her and others for not calling me sooner, only to find (2 weeks later) that they had tried to reach me on the afternoon of the February 14th; while I was out of range and back then I never checked my voice messages.

My name being deliberately removed from the obituary, I wasn’t notified or invited to her cremation, and my not being invited to the memorial service did not help matters regarding the grieving process.

You have described my actions most accurately with “You limp on through life…”

Honestly, I am only now beginning to recognize it as a permanent injury.

Those who knew how close we were are beginning to explaining to me what they observed regarding our relationship, how and how much we communicated, and how often we saw one another. It’s not like I needed to drop everything or would even answer every call or text if I knew it wasn’t important. To an observer her calls were usually constant and mostly brief, as if she called to express a thought she wanted to share.

Also, it’s that I had worried about her for so many years.

I carried her when she couldn’t walk, fed her, helped her dress and put her to bed when she was weak. I’d take her shopping, fix her car, move her storage, take her cats to the vet, fed feral cats at locations around the city, etc.… I thought I was just there doing what I would have done and have done for anyone that has ask me for help. I just didn’t think much about it. Finding out later just how much she thought about it and how much it meant.

I wish I had treated it more precious.

We did so much together, but mostly we’d just hangout, cook and talk about everything, with Jesus being ask for help or being praised in every other breathe.

Though I had helped her a few times before it wasn’t until 2006 that we began to get close.

I don’t remember why that year she needed me to take her shopping for materials for her book, which would turn into an entire day with lunch and dinner.

I expected nothing and wanted nothing… or so I thought.

Just one day, an hour or just 10mins more.

I had forgotten all those hours I waited, worried watching her sleep. Seeing her laying there last year on the morning of the 15th I knew it was different, I search for any sign of her being there, I just didn’t want to accept it.

I know You understand Vashtix

again Thank You

If I may ask, are you her brother, or brother in law? Feel free to message me if you don't feel comfortable answering on the forum.

Peace & Love.

Legally? Her brother-in-law.

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Reply #316 posted 01/10/17 8:30pm

PennyPurple

avatar

TOB said:

PennyPurple said:

If I may ask, are you her brother, or brother in law? Feel free to message me if you don't feel comfortable answering on the forum.

Peace & Love.

Legally? Her brother-in-law.

Thank you.

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Reply #317 posted 01/10/17 8:49pm

Vashtix

TOB said:

PaisleyPrint said:

Lola49, in all honesty, TOB didn't have a REASON to post these things when Denise was living. How could he post something he didn't even have access to. Besides, Denise could have posted these things herself if she wanted to.

[Edited 1/5/17 4:19am]

I believe that I have been clear regarding my interest in revealing Denise as the Artist she was. Collateral information and or revelations provides continuity and context in understanding “why her” and what made her more than a pretty billboard for rent.

These articles, though not completely accurate (with dates), indirectly provide the meaningful information regarding her other interest. To what depth and just how involved she was with her other interest I believe makes her much more interesting.

How does this “valuable information” collaterally damage someone else’s beliefs and or their version of history? What is the threat?

I think that because there are narratives that many have bought into about Prince and his relationships. It is difficult for information to show up that shows something that is goes against what was always known and thought to be true.

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Reply #318 posted 01/11/17 3:06am

purplegirl00

TOB said:

Vashtix said:

I read that the other day but I just was too choked up to respond but today with time to process it I have to say just WOW.

It is so hard lose a loved one but to be there watching them die really walks within you the rest of your days. There is nothing like watching a birth and being present at a death. There are no words to express sympathy or compassion for that because I have experienced the same. It is with you just like breathing you cannot help it. You feel the loss even when you don't want to.

You limp on through life though but it is never ever the same. EVER.

It brings you even closer to the loved one you see die. It is strange but the bond for me seemed stronger after the experience.

Much respect, prayers, and all good thoughts to you TOB and your family.

Thank You Vashtix

I know and I am very sorry that you understand.

For the following 3 months I was extremely angry.

I truly believed that I could have saved her.

I was there and took care of her the last two times she was in the hospital in mid-2015. Ironically for months I was initially mainly concerned with her opiate use as being the cause of her hospitalization. I would even count them on my visits, but they were eventually ruled out as the cause.

I blamed myself for leaving town that weekend and for being out of cellphone range, hundreds of miles away up in the Redwoods near the Oregon board.

I blamed her and others for not calling me sooner, only to find (2 weeks later) that they had tried to reach me on the afternoon of the February 14th; while I was out of range and back then I never checked my voice messages.

My name being deliberately removed from the obituary, I wasn’t notified or invited to her cremation, and my not being invited to the memorial service did not help matters regarding the grieving process.

You have described my actions most accurately with “You limp on through life…”

Honestly, I am only now beginning to recognize it as a permanent injury.

Those who knew how close we were are beginning to explaining to me what they observed regarding our relationship, how and how much we communicated, and how often we saw one another. It’s not like I needed to drop everything or would even answer every call or text if I knew it wasn’t important. To an observer her calls were usually constant and mostly brief, as if she called to express a thought she wanted to share.

Also, it’s that I had worried about her for so many years.

I carried her when she couldn’t walk, fed her, helped her dress and put her to bed when she was weak. I’d take her shopping, fix her car, move her storage, take her cats to the vet, fed feral cats at locations around the city, etc.… I thought I was just there doing what I would have done and have done for anyone that has ask me for help. I just didn’t think much about it. Finding out later just how much she thought about it and how much it meant.

I wish I had treated it more precious.

We did so much together, but mostly we’d just hangout, cook and talk about everything, with Jesus being ask for help or being praised in every other breathe.

Though I had helped her a few times before it wasn’t until 2006 that we began to get close.

I don’t remember why that year she needed me to take her shopping for materials for her book, which would turn into an entire day with lunch and dinner.

I expected nothing and wanted nothing… or so I thought.

Just one day, an hour or just 10mins more.

I had forgotten all those hours I waited, worried watching her sleep. Seeing her laying there last year on the morning of the 15th I knew it was different, I search for any sign of her being there, I just didn’t want to accept it.

I know You understand Vashtix

again Thank You

TOB: thank you sharing all that you did in this post. I, too, know the heartbreak of watching someone close die right in front of you and then all that comes in the aftermath of an experience like that. I held my best friend’s hand as she took her last breaths in December 2012. Young mother of three teens, 39 only, dying of breast cancer. She’d been through so much in her life but she was sassy and a fighter. She passed 3 months to the day of our last “girlfriend getaway” (we did those on her birthday every year). She went home after that weekend and after feeling poorly went to the doctor. Her cancer was back (she first battled 6 years before that). I drove seven hours each way to be with her children and rotate shifts at the hospital, keeping vigil with other family and friends until she passed. I had regret and anger for a long time. Regret-that I didn’t cherish the last time we spent together more, and anger that God would bring such a special friend/ sister in to my life then snatch her away. Anyway, I know others have had an experience like it too. It hurts and changes you forever.

.

The way you were treated in the aftermath of Denise’s passing, is incredibly painful and makes me feel anger for you and your family. I don’t even know you in real life. As to the whys of that, I will leave to you to share, if you wish. But how can people be so heartless at such a difficult time? I can only imagine how much salt that added to your grief.

.

Thank you for defending your brotherly relationship with Denise. You didn’t have to as many of us know what you meant. The kind of person you describe yourself and Denise as being, the type to give of yourself without expecting anything in return, is the type of people we need more of in this world.

Blessings.

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Reply #319 posted 01/11/17 3:09am

purplegirl00

Vashtix said:

TOB said:

I believe that I have been clear regarding my interest in revealing Denise as the Artist she was. Collateral information and or revelations provides continuity and context in understanding “why her” and what made her more than a pretty billboard for rent.

These articles, though not completely accurate (with dates), indirectly provide the meaningful information regarding her other interest. To what depth and just how involved she was with her other interest I believe makes her much more interesting.

How does this “valuable information” collaterally damage someone else’s beliefs and or their version of history? What is the threat?

I think that because there are narratives that many have bought into about Prince and his relationships. It is difficult for information to show up that shows something that is goes against what was always known and thought to be true.

nod

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Reply #320 posted 01/11/17 3:24am

Vashtix

LoveHAteSeXYwHy said:

luvgirl said:

Lola49purplebluerain said: Since when did his saying he loved her deeply became a thing to analyze and create a run on sentence to then try to make it so that its not what he really meant? confuse Not hating though. To each it's own. Purple love. yes

Strange , just saw and read a quick discussion on another website about Prince quote :'She loved him for the artist he was ,he loved her for the artist she was trying to be .That is what he said and meant. I have read your shrill posts here and on other threads and I know you stan for PnV relationship all day erday , but let's not try to change what he said because of your intense fandom allow you the problem of not seeing reality for what it is , but for what you, and other stans on here want it to be.

I do not know the reason you want to discredit, minimize or just totally ignore words from Prince's mouth. It is what he said; attacking someone else for discussing is rather weird. I am a fan of Prince and I am a fan of Denise/Vanity. Last year Prince talked. Actually he talked end of November 2015 too.

Luv girl has not been shrill just discussing her opinions on what was said. Prince spoke. I think that

is enough.

Being upset because maybe this changes what has been thought about Prince and Vanity prior to last year I understand and am surprised about much of it. They were ok to be friends throughout their lives and that is ok. Nothing will change what happened-Prince publicly spoke.

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Reply #321 posted 01/11/17 3:48am

Vashtix

PaisleyPrint said:

TOB said:

Thank You Vashtix

I know and I am very sorry that you understand.

For the following 3 months I was extremely angry.

I truly believed that I could have saved her.

I was there and took care of her the last two times she was in the hospital in mid-2015. Ironically for months I was initially mainly concerned with her opiate use as being the cause of her hospitalization. I would even count them on my visits, but they were eventually ruled out as the cause.

I blamed myself for leaving town that weekend and for being out of cellphone range, hundreds of miles away up in the Redwoods near the Oregon board.

I blamed her and others for not calling me sooner, only to find (2 weeks later) that they had tried to reach me on the afternoon of the February 14th; while I was out of range and back then I never checked my voice messages.

My name being deliberately removed from the obituary, I wasn’t notified or invited to her cremation, and my not being invited to the memorial service did not help matters regarding the grieving process.

You have described my actions most accurately with “You limp on through life…”

Honestly, I am only now beginning to recognize it as a permanent injury.

Those who knew how close we were are beginning to explaining to me what they observed regarding our relationship, how and how much we communicated, and how often we saw one another. It’s not like I needed to drop everything or would even answer every call or text if I knew it wasn’t important. To an observer her calls were usually constant and mostly brief, as if she called to express a thought she wanted to share.

Also, it’s that I had worried about her for so many years.

I carried her when she couldn’t walk, fed her, helped her dress and put her to bed when she was weak. I’d take her shopping, fix her car, move her storage, take her cats to the vet, fed feral cats at locations around the city, etc.… I thought I was just there doing what I would have done and have done for anyone that has ask me for help. I just didn’t think much about it. Finding out later just how much she thought about it and how much it meant.

I wish I had treated it more precious.

We did so much together, but mostly we’d just hangout, cook and talk about everything, with Jesus being ask for help or being praised in every other breathe.

Though I had helped her a few times before it wasn’t until 2006 that we began to get close.

I don’t remember why that year she needed me to take her shopping for materials for her book, which would turn into an entire day with lunch and dinner.

I expected nothing and wanted nothing… or so I thought.

Just one day, an hour or just 10mins more.

I had forgotten all those hours I waited, worried watching her sleep. Seeing her laying there last year on the morning of the 15th I knew it was different, I search for any sign of her being there, I just didn’t want to accept it.

I know You understand Vashtix

again Thank You

This post sounds an awful lot like lovers to me rather than an in-law. But hey, it's all good...

First it is clear you never have dealt someone terminally ill or living with a debilitating illness. Denise was a woman who lived daily with a illness and she had daily dialysis.

I personally know what it is to care for a loved one and WHEN THEY CANNOT DO FOR THEMSELVES:

when they cannot eat you feed them

when they cannot wash themselves you bathe them,comb hair

assist with cleaning out ears

cleaning out boogies in their noise

cut their nails, wash the linens and clothes, clean their butts when they poop (change depends)

make sure they take their meds

sit in their bedroom with them when they sleep

listen to them ramble and cry when they get depressed and tired of being physically frail and in unable to be independent.

THAT is what is done and daily and guess what? YOU ARE NOT thinking of sexing them. I guess that means I am lovers with my loved one cause I did/do the same exact things he describes.

[Edited 1/11/17 4:00am]

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Reply #322 posted 01/11/17 4:47am

laurarichardso
n

TOB said:

laurarichardson said:

Yet you took the time to respond. You can have any opinion that you like. TOB was Vanity's brother in law I will take what he has to say over your opinion. What is not valuable to you may be valuable to others.

Pragmatic sceptic, is what I thought when you (laurarichardson) responded to my posting the letters.

DeBorah mentions and speaks about Prince with admiration, forever grateful for what he did when Tony Lemans pasted in 1992.

I revealed the letters to show his generosity, and believing that he had done the same for Denise, if not much much more.

It should be evident that I have no problem with being ask a question or even with the questioning of my intent. Otherwise I will not understand what is at issue and what is misunderstood.

I try not to encourage certain type of dialog and altogether avoid most tabloid type subjects.

If I didn't ask and didn't know about Vanity and Prince's relationship, I definitely didn’t ask and don’t know a thing about his many other relationships to know that I’m posting something that would somehow contradict someone’s narrative.

Favorite pastime? : Poetry, baking, biking, lurking…

2funny

No I changed my mind once I saw you were not on the board to trash anybody. We have also had a lot of associates get run off the board because someone people can't accept that Prince was human. biggrin

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Reply #323 posted 01/11/17 5:08am

luvgirl

Vashtix: Thanks for trying to clarify on my behalf. There is too much anger in that tone for me to have a meaningful debate, and I'm beginning to get wary of all the negativity. If my opinion that I believed it when he said he loved her deeply offended anyone, I apologize. We are all entitled to our opinions, so I will move on.
[Edited 1/11/17 11:26am]
Sometimes I wish that life was never ending, but all good things they say never last. Love it isn't love until it's past. ~RIP my Prince~
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Reply #324 posted 01/11/17 5:12am

PaisleyPrint

TOB said:

PaisleyPrint said:

This post sounds an awful lot like lovers to me rather than an in-law. But hey, it's all good...

Now that’s a sad commentary, but understandable and not unexpected.

Over the years Denise and I have disagreed, argued and fought over a number of issues.

Except when she was sick I kept my distance for a number of reasons.

She was an evangelist and I was concerned with appearances.

Her celebrity kept her busy writing speeches and traveling so I rarely called her.

She was my son’s aunt, my wife’s sister and one of my best friends.

She reminded me too much of her sister.

I help people… total strangers, that’s what I do and have always done for friends, uncles, aunts, grandparents and church members. My parents often volunteered their 7 sons to help anyone in need.

You would not believe how many strangers’ cars I've pushed out of the street.

Over the past month I’ve helped a stranger change the battery, fix a flat tire and bought a gas can went got gas, only asking them to pay it forward to someone else.

I feed the neighbors cats when their out of town, house sat for a friend from the 18th to 23 last December, bought and installed a garage door opener at an exgirlfriends mothers house and helped another friend with a civil suit, all in December.

When someone says I know a guy, I’m usually the guy their talking about.

Denise also gave of herself total strangers.

Sent money to police, firefighter, humane societies and gave her church hundreds of thousands.

I have thousands of her canceled checks going back to the early 90’s prove it.

People will believe what they want.

I believe what I have done for others has been returned to me 10 times over.

I loved Denise and she told me often how much she loved me… as her brother

She was deserving of every seconds I was able to give her.

So “Yes” I guess I do understand how it sounds or how it may look.

No, TOB. What I meant was you sound like someone else, other than her brother-in-law. Like you could maybe "be" John Stamos or someone. And that maybe you were posing as an in-law here on the Org. in order to protect your identity and/or Denise's privacy, and if you were, I couldn't blame you. Not that you would pull some sideways stuff like that as her brother-in-law. But whoever you are, I am glad to have you here, and continue to appreciate any little tid-bits that you share with us about Denise. Much love to ya...

[Edited 1/11/17 5:37am]

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Reply #325 posted 01/11/17 5:19am

PaisleyPrint

Vashtix said:

PaisleyPrint said:

This post sounds an awful lot like lovers to me rather than an in-law. But hey, it's all good...

First it is clear you never have dealt someone terminally ill or living with a debilitating illness. Denise was a woman who lived daily with a illness and she had daily dialysis.

I personally know what it is to care for a loved one and WHEN THEY CANNOT DO FOR THEMSELVES:

when they cannot eat you feed them

when they cannot wash themselves you bathe them,comb hair

assist with cleaning out ears

cleaning out boogies in their noise

cut their nails, wash the linens and clothes, clean their butts when they poop (change depends)

make sure they take their meds

sit in their bedroom with them when they sleep

listen to them ramble and cry when they get depressed and tired of being physically frail and in unable to be independent.

THAT is what is done and daily and guess what? YOU ARE NOT thinking of sexing them. I guess that means I am lovers with my loved one cause I did/do the same exact things he describes.

[Edited 1/11/17 4:00am]

Vashtix, yes, I did work as an in-home health care nurse back in the 90's so I understand exactly what you're talking about. I highlighted those parts of his post for a reason. For a FULL explanation of why I said that, please see my response to TOB. Carry on, shall we...

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Reply #326 posted 01/11/17 5:22am

luvgirl

TOB said:



Vashtix said:




TOB said:


A year ago tomorrow on January 4th (Denise birthday) is the last day I spent time with her.


The next time I would see her is at 3:03am on February 15th as she lay in a hospital bed. Nine hours later I’m standing at her bedside holding her hand hopelessly watching her die.






I read that the other day but I just was too choked up to respond but today with time to process it I have to say just WOW.



It is so hard lose a loved one but to be there watching them die really walks within you the rest of your days. There is nothing like watching a birth and being present at a death. There are no words to express sympathy or compassion for that because I have experienced the same. It is with you just like breathing you cannot help it. You feel the loss even when you don't want to.


You limp on through life though but it is never ever the same. EVER.


It brings you even closer to the loved one you see die. It is strange but the bond for me seemed stronger after the experience.


Much respect, prayers, and all good thoughts to you TOB and your family.






Thank You Vashtix




I know and I am very sorry that you understand.


For the following 3 months I was extremely angry.


I truly believed that I could have saved her.


I was there and took care of her the last two times she was in the hospital in mid-2015. Ironically for months I was initially mainly concerned with her opiate use as being the cause of her hospitalization. I would even count them on my visits, but they were eventually ruled out as the cause.


I blamed myself for leaving town that weekend and for being out of cellphone range, hundreds of miles away up in the Redwoods near the Oregon board.


I blamed her and others for not calling me sooner, only to find (2 weeks later) that they had tried to reach me on the afternoon of the February 14th; while I was out of range and back then I never checked my voice messages.



My name being deliberately removed from the obituary, I wasn’t notified or invited to her cremation, and my not being invited to the memorial service did not help matters regarding the grieving process.



You have described my actions most accurately with “You limp on through life…”


Honestly, I am only now beginning to recognize it as a permanent injury.


Those who knew how close we were are beginning to explaining to me what they observed regarding our relationship, how and how much we communicated, and how often we saw one another. It’s not like I needed to drop everything or would even answer every call or text if I knew it wasn’t important. To an observer her calls were usually constant and mostly brief, as if she called to express a thought she wanted to share.


Also, it’s that I had worried about her for so many years.


I carried her when she couldn’t walk, fed her, helped her dress and put her to bed when she was weak. I’d take her shopping, fix her car, move her storage, take her cats to the vet, fed feral cats at locations around the city, etc.… I thought I was just there doing what I would have done and have done for anyone that has ask me for help. I just didn’t think much about it. Finding out later just how much she thought about it and how much it meant.


I wish I had treated it more precious.


We did so much together, but mostly we’d just hangout, cook and talk about everything, with Jesus being ask for help or being praised in every other breathe.


Though I had helped her a few times before it wasn’t until 2006 that we began to get close.


I don’t remember why that year she needed me to take her shopping for materials for her book, which would turn into an entire day with lunch and dinner.


I expected nothing and wanted nothing… or so I thought.


Just one day, an hour or just 10mins more.


I had forgotten all those hours I waited, worried watching her sleep. Seeing her laying there last year on the morning of the 15th I knew it was different, I search for any sign of her being there, I just didn’t want to accept it.




I know You understand Vashtix


again Thank You




Tob, you were a great friend to her. What a blessed woman she was to have someone who cared for her and helped her in her time of need the way you did. I'm sure it was very comforting for her to know that she had someone that she could rely on. Let that thought comfort you also and bring you the peace you are searching for in your grieving process. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sometimes I wish that life was never ending, but all good things they say never last. Love it isn't love until it's past. ~RIP my Prince~
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Reply #327 posted 01/11/17 7:24pm

Goddess4Real

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luvgirl said:

TOB said:

Thank You Vashtix

I know and I am very sorry that you understand.

For the following 3 months I was extremely angry.

I truly believed that I could have saved her.

I was there and took care of her the last two times she was in the hospital in mid-2015. Ironically for months I was initially mainly concerned with her opiate use as being the cause of her hospitalization. I would even count them on my visits, but they were eventually ruled out as the cause.

I blamed myself for leaving town that weekend and for being out of cellphone range, hundreds of miles away up in the Redwoods near the Oregon board.

I blamed her and others for not calling me sooner, only to find (2 weeks later) that they had tried to reach me on the afternoon of the February 14th; while I was out of range and back then I never checked my voice messages.

My name being deliberately removed from the obituary, I wasn’t notified or invited to her cremation, and my not being invited to the memorial service did not help matters regarding the grieving process.

You have described my actions most accurately with “You limp on through life…”

Honestly, I am only now beginning to recognize it as a permanent injury.

Those who knew how close we were are beginning to explaining to me what they observed regarding our relationship, how and how much we communicated, and how often we saw one another. It’s not like I needed to drop everything or would even answer every call or text if I knew it wasn’t important. To an observer her calls were usually constant and mostly brief, as if she called to express a thought she wanted to share.

Also, it’s that I had worried about her for so many years.

I carried her when she couldn’t walk, fed her, helped her dress and put her to bed when she was weak. I’d take her shopping, fix her car, move her storage, take her cats to the vet, fed feral cats at locations around the city, etc.… I thought I was just there doing what I would have done and have done for anyone that has ask me for help. I just didn’t think much about it. Finding out later just how much she thought about it and how much it meant.

I wish I had treated it more precious.

We did so much together, but mostly we’d just hangout, cook and talk about everything, with Jesus being ask for help or being praised in every other breathe.

Though I had helped her a few times before it wasn’t until 2006 that we began to get close.

I don’t remember why that year she needed me to take her shopping for materials for her book, which would turn into an entire day with lunch and dinner.

I expected nothing and wanted nothing… or so I thought.

Just one day, an hour or just 10mins more.

I had forgotten all those hours I waited, worried watching her sleep. Seeing her laying there last year on the morning of the 15th I knew it was different, I search for any sign of her being there, I just didn’t want to accept it.

I know You understand Vashtix

again Thank You

Tob, you were a great friend to her. What a blessed woman she was to have someone who cared for her and helped her in her time of need the way you did. I'm sure it was very comforting for her to know that she had someone that she could rely on. Let that thought comfort you also and bring you the peace you are searching for in your grieving process. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

yeahthat

Keep Calm & Listen To Prince
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Reply #328 posted 01/12/17 11:37am

TOB

Reciprocity said:

luvgirl said:

Vashtix said: Yes, and to think, she did all of this before age 21. I'm grateful to finally know a little about Denise Matthews, Aka DD Winters-the rising star. She had it all, beauty, charisma, talent, and the ambition and drive to succeed. She was so many different facets all at once, even up until the end of her life. In the end, she fought to get right where she needed to be. That was her proudest moment in my opinion. She never faltered...

It is really a great story of empowerment and what you can accomplish if you have drive and resilence. Fall down and get back up and she did that with her fatih in God as you said never faltering. I want her story told because she did so much as you said prior to 21.

Prince must have learned quick she was not some pretty face, who knew nothing and was wet behind the ears. His mystic, mind controlling tricks did not work on her. She left on her own terms. I like out of all the protoges she is the one that met him head on matching him.

I my opinion...


I think he changed soon after she left.

He describes a reason for his depression as coming from all directions of his life back then in the September 12, 1985 RollingStone interview.

Trying to juggle and control people is a balancing act not a musical one, music requires harmony.

What Denise writes seems to describing that same tumultuous time that he mentions.

Birth Pain, Teething, Growing Pains, Teenagers… honestly, how do you conceive, birth and raise an iconic musical super star? How do you control them once you do?

Prince was birthing stars before he was a fully develop star, which definitely set the stage for some serious StarWars.

How he held it all together to complete an album was easy for him as a talented genious, and because he mainly did it alone.

But a concert tour with how many acts? High wire, lion tamer, strong man, etc.…

Most people that receiving sudden stardom have less than a fraction of that pressure and responsibility and have handle it very poorly.

Denise, obviously didn’t know him well enough before she moved in.

She then reacted to the situation she was placed in (that he created).

Denise writes that she remained quiet, reserved, sat, listened and then calmly questioned Prince about what was said.

However!!! DeBorah describes it as if Denise called her soon after, saying to me

“… she gets there and was like, ‘Who are these Bitches.’”

To be a fly on the wall in that living room at that moment, eh? I wonder how Brenda and Susan remember it.

Point being, if true, Prince deliberately created that moment, why? Because he could as a new born star with power, and like an infant everything was new and he just wanted to see what would happen?

Well, “Heaven hath no fury…”

She seems to believe in him, but not believe him.

To love him but could not hope to trust.

If he eventually fell in love with her while she was still there how would she to know?

Within the past 2 years before their meeting she writes about get a proposal from a Hollywood executive to have her as a kept woman, returning home to find her boyfriend in bed with another woman, Adam leaving her in Japan, then being romanced by Prince (for the 2 years?)

That living room setup was cruel, icepick-through-the-heart wrenching, and only the beginning many insults.

This is why I had hoped that it they didn’t know each other for very long. Hoping they met in 81 for his sake.

To try to make sense of it and give him the benefit of the doubt that she has never been given.

Blame the woman...

The belief in his reason for writing Little Red Corvette seems to have allowed Denise to be blamed and dismissed for these many decades.

Even if it were true, it's a stupid reason and it is no excuse.

Maybe he later apologized, maybe he thought it forgiven and forgotten, maybe he thought examples like Stange Relation and Adore should have been enough to prove no matter what he did, this is how he felt.


No matter what, if he fell in love and if she said she forgave him... back then she couldn't shake it that memory, she had to leave.

She writes that she requested $100,000.00 to do the movie, because she knew he wouldn't pay it and had already made plans to leave.

Trying to take her name I believe was done for to send multiple messages.

He was mad she left and probably enraged when she was able to keep the name he made famous.

He definitely needed to heal.

.

.

.

From the 1985 RollingStone interview:

.

It's just so nice to know there is someone and someplace else. And if we're wrong, and I'm wrong, and there is nothing, then big deal! But the whole life I just spent, I at least had some reason to spend it.

When you talk about God, which God are you talking about? The Christian God? Jewish? Buddhist? Is there any God in particular you have in mind?
Yes, very much so. A while back, I had an experience that changed me and made me think differently about how and what I wrote and how I acted toward people. I'm going to make a film about it – not the next one, but the one after that. I've wanted to make it for three years now. Don't get me wrong – I'm still as wild as I was. I'm just funneling it in a different direction. And now I analyze things so much that sometimes I can't shut my brain off and it hurts. That's what that movie will be about.

What was the experience that changed you?
I don't really want to get into it specifically. During the Dirty Mind period, I would go into fits of depression and get physically ill. I would have to call people to help me get out of it. I don't do that anymore.

What were you depressed about?
A lot had to do with the band's situation, the fact that I couldn't make people in the band understand how great we could all be together if we all played our part. A lot also had to do with being in love with someone and not getting any love back. And there was the fact that I didn't talk much with my father and sister. Anyway, a lot of things happened in this two-day period, but I don't want to get into it right now.

How'd you get over it?
That's what the movie's going to be about. Paisley Park is the only way I can say I got over it now. Paisley Park is the place one should find in oneself, where one can go when one is alone.

You say you've now found the place where you can go to be alone. Is it your house? Within the family you've built around you? With God?
It's a combination of things. I think when one discovers himself, he discovers God. Or maybe it's the other way around. I'm not sure. . . . It's hard to put into words. It's a feeling – someone knows when they get it. That's all I can really say.

Do you believe in heaven?
I think there is an afterworld. For some reason, I think it's going to look just like here, but that's part . . . I don't really like talking about this stuff. It's so personal.

http://www.rollingstone.c...n-19850912

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Reply #329 posted 01/12/17 4:41pm

Vashtix

TOB you always share things that force me to think beyond what I have always thought I knew about Vanity and Prince.

I always thought they met and were instantly mesmerized by one another and he she eventually went to Minneapolis to be with her boyfriend (Prince). How interesting that their was this "situation" when she initally arrived in Minneapolis.

Denise, obviously didn’t know him well enough before she moved in.

She then reacted to the situation she was placed in (that he created).

Denise writes that she remained quiet, reserved, sat, listened and then calmly questioned Prince about what was said.

However!!! DeBorah describes it as if Denise called her soon after, saying to me

“… she gets there and was like, ‘Who are these Bitches.’”

To be a fly on the wall in that living room at that moment, eh? I wonder how Brenda and Susan remember it.

Point being, if true, Prince deliberately created that moment, why? Because he could as a new born star with power, and like an infant everything was new and he just wanted to see what would happen?

I really appreciate thisi nformation. It says so much about her courage and drive to take the chance to go Minneapolis. I would love to know how he persuaded her. It also says alot about him to being a puppeteer of sorts . The situation of the Living Room is a lot; brand new information and hard to imagine the gall of him to do that. It says much about who he was at the time, as you said being in the new position he found himself in.

Within the past 2 years before their meeting she writes about get a proposal from a Hollywood executive to have her as a kept woman, returning home to find her boyfriend in bed with another woman, Adam leaving her in Japan, then being romanced by Prince (for the 2 years?)

Prince had to have known there were many people checking for her ; Nice to read that she was living life but so sad she was unlucky in love. Life can be hard for really beautiful women.


That living room setup was cruel, icepick-through-the-heart wrenching, and only the beginning many insults.
This is why I had hoped that it they didn’t know each other for very long. Hoping they met in 81 for his sake.
To try to make sense of it and give him the benefit of the doubt that she has never been given.
Blame the woman...
The belief in his reason for writing Little Red Corvette seems to have allowed Denise to be blamed and dismissed for these many decades.
Even if it were true, it's a stupid reason and it is no excuse.
Maybe he later apologized, maybe he thought it forgiven and forgotten, maybe he thought examples like Stange Relation and Adore should have been enough to prove no matter what he did, this is how he felt.

Thanks for the insight for Little Red Corvette. He sang that song in his tribute to her in Melbourne when the night he found out she had transitioned. Adore is mighty powerful to me. It is an all time great ballad. Did she mention when they finally mellowed out? W

[Edited 1/12/17 17:32pm]

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