I read through your seven page letter

Every other line declaring that loving me was such a waste of time

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Ya, I read your seven page letter

And frankly, darling, you need to work on your prose because you could do much better

You spread your propaganda with a suspicious point

How I used to make you feel so high

But now you’re convinced that I wanna be another woman’s joint

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I did, I read your seven page letter

And there you were again,

Protesting that the engagement ring I once bought you was two carats too small

Luv, would you say that I was twisted if I confessed to reading your seven page letter

from the inside of a bathroom stall?

And I’ll whisper this question in case you have any regrets,

Were those teardrops on pages three and four?

You know, second paragraph on the third to last page

where you said that you don’t wanna see me no more

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Mmm-hmm, I read through your seven page letter

And it was shocking ‘cause I had never overheard any venom that ever wanted me deader

Folklore warns, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”

Lo and behold, right there on the last page where you wished that I had never been born!

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Ya, I read your seven page letter

Baby, you should have just called…