I'm a Mother i've got both. I only lost one tooth from having children. I was very lucky. My Mother didn't have any neither did Dad, the wars he went through and the one Mam went through. How delightful to have that same tune playing as the lead line up the top when i opened this page. I don't know this one. I'd rather not be reminded about the ones i haven't heard yet, it causes an ache. Yes i have to get to a dentist soon. There's nothing to pull on. It's fine as long as i don't eat. Well, that's one way of controlling the fat. It also makes me very sad. I know i'm alive. How's this for a misery one, alone in the dark with no one to trust, i have to keep going, i woke up so i must. I'm putting it down to the infection in the tooth going around the brain too. This might be a good time to pull a Rune and a Medicine card see what i'm dealing with.#33 Weasel. It doesn't sound crash hot. OMG 'it was Weasel who foretold of the coming of the white boat people!!!'Ok, it's worth the print, 'They have strange new medicines,' said Weasel. 'They will tell us that to live the way we do is wrong. They will confuse us with their talking bark.' So, i'm pleased this medicine turned up. I worry i would only be trouble so i keep to myself. My medicine is too strong for most people. I am going to ask my younger self one day if i had known how my life would be, would i have still stayed here? Wow!!! So got that working for me tonight then children! Runes are warming in my pocket! I can't get over writing what i wanted and pulling that card. Fantastic. Spirit won't lie to me. I wouldn't half give them a bad time if they did. Well i'd ignore them and they hate that. That was so cool. '..difficult power totem to have.' The ears hear more and the eyes too. 'Weasel was sent by chiefs to the enemy camp to smoke them for power.''Weasel never failed to give an accurate account...' It's stunning it's even got this to a tee, 'You might even look a bit guilty at times due to what u know from observing life.' Weasel changes color with the season. Silent Weasel has many lessons to teach u. Weasel could confound the Great Spirit.' I'll take note of the 'contrary' Weasel too. Very accurate for now. Rune #20 Mannaz. I think it represents 'mankind' and the 'self'. Aye and it's esssence is water, another one for me.Thank U God, i'm grateful beyond measure. I was asking for clarity and that one is also about clarity being necessary right now. Doubting my feelings goes with the brain injury and being bashed. I trust them to tell me when i'm at risk. I'm wary of pleasure it always leads me to pain. So ok, i've just confirmed that Spirit will confirm what i already know, well, thanks, that helps a lot, not. This is comforting though, 'Remember that in the life of the inner-self you are always at the beginning.' (Rune Basics) There is some kind of blockage i know that for sure. The Rune also confirms that. Just waiting while i get a little warmer. Just looking through the tapes in my mind from last night about chidren going to school in Africa. Child labor is preventing them from going to school. They have to pay school fees, who is that to, the church? Secular schools served me better. I saw young boys breaking rocks with hammers. Very small children too. Poor little precious babies chopping cassava plant to sell as well. Heartbreaking stuff to watch. Then a young man from Amnesty Int. in China, came around here to get donation committments from people, u know, their bank details to have regular deductions taken out. I blessed him for doing it and sent him on his way. Look God i know i'm socially starved and spend all my time alone but really i don't need U to send random tests of my integrity. Time is too precious to me to want to waste any. I'm old, gray haired but i'm no rich bitch, i've always paid my way. I like to sleep with a clear conscience. I start out emotionally shattered and end up only emotionally battered just like everyone else. I'm so hungry i could eat the crutch out of a low flying duck. I feel a U.N.O. coming on, that's a United Nations Omelette, depending on what else i add it can have an identity crisis. It's going to set my tooth off again. I don't find Teatree oil very tasty. I have to have food to cope with the painkiller i took. It's very confusing, the burning in the top of the shoulder is back, sleeping on the lounge, i haven't slept in the bed for months, ok, once a couple of weeks ago. I don't get between the sheets, i just sleep under the doona, it's too hot otherwise. I just haven't tweeked it properly. It's a very disoriented life. Andrew my son rang me back, no, he hasn't spoken to his sister, he can't tell me how she is. I told him about the miracle with the fridge, how it's (sssh, i whispered, it's been working alright for weeks now, i don't want to talk loud and hex it i said). I walked into the lounge room and kept my voice a whisper, 'it hasn't even frosted up.' I reminded him it had come from a broken home. I said now all it needed was the seals replaced. No kidding, it's amazing what a difference being able to have confidence in it working the right way, makes. I couldn't pin him down to coming here and helping with some yard work for this 3rd inspection next week by the real estate agents. That was painful. I phoned the tenants advice and advocacy service, they are allowed 4 inspections per year, they have had three, that covers all three layers of management they have stuck in above me and i'm sorry but i wouldn't have any of them to dinner. The last two were here about 20 minutes and after going out the back in the mud they walked back out to the front through the house, this next lot won't, they can walk all the way in the mud back to the front by the gate, they're not trudging back through here if they go into the back garden, it's a swamp. They are driving me up the wall all these inspections and then there's the fixings. It's a house invasion. There are bad tenants so they treat us all like derelicts. No, sorry i never agreed to be a tenant all my life, no one asked me what i wanted. There are only two people to help me do this passport application and they both keep saying they will help and then another week goes by and nothing is done. I fear i won't get there this year at all because it will take longer for the thing to be mailed out to me. That's the system now, i don't mind that but i've had three different ways and all of them haven't worked, it's back to this one. As if it isn't bad enough to be afraid of flying then not being able to get a passport to do it, well i could take that as an omen. I've been on a couple of domestic flights, fine as long as it's dark. I thought i'd get the sweats and everything, nah, hardly felt the movement, up 45 minutes down and off we get. Well that was better than 10 hours on the train. That was fine, not even an hour. I let the confidence of others carry me with them. That was about seven years ago. Funny how precious life becomes, the less there is of it to waste. The Raspberries are out. I have to feed them up a bit. No, wonder the birds sound so chirpy. So i'll keep plodding along, one foot in front of the other and one day who knows i might just make it over there. It's ok i'm under sedation well i will be when i get off here, i can't type too good if i'm ripped. I want to go and can't, i'm going to need anaesthetic if they don't help me to. To u all in deep gratitude for this grant Infinite and eternal peace, joy and Love, take care, God Bless and Be Well.xxxxx