I'm hankering a bit. I may or may not have had the earphones on i don't recall, i'm hankering for now. How do u thank someone for throwing out a lifeline every time u want to jump off a cliff or something. He does. He gets on my wick something aweful it's like i haven't got a second to myself. Then i have to almost do grievous psychic harm to get him to rack off when i really want to have a pity party. He still won't go! It must have been that Moon thing, i was having a bad case of the tres bits. I counted out the pills too and even got the plonk out. It was so aweful my Father got me past it. I went into some sort of retreat and one song after another just came into my head. I played a bit of music yesterday. I have done without it i don't like it but i can do, i loathe, detest and despise those that put me in the position of not having his music any time i damn well please, or else, it means war! Battered womans syndrome means over some things i don't even have a fuse. I snap and hard. I hear some people over there use the 'N' word. Fine i understand it has a harmless meaning as well, not to me. I don't like it and i don't like hearing it from anyone especially Black people, men mainly. Very not cool ever. I happen to feel this Negro man is molten hot on this day of the year, aaah MOLTEN. I'm jealous of the permanent tan so much it hurts. The women with that beautiful hair, long or close cropped, the shape of the head is only accentuated by the short hair. So regal and stately. I just thought, i might have looked like that one lifetime or another, sighs, ah well that's not so bad then. So i'm being a bit of a twit, i like it. I know how to work this thing a bit, she types with the tongue hanging out. Just enough to know how to muck up a bit. I had two older brothers, honestly if i could stir them up it was a huge coup for a little girl. I never did but i always hoped i would, could u know. Hide their boots or socks or something, anything just something, just once! That minx is waiting to pay out on someone. I'm wondering what to put in the bags hung over the chair in the dining area. I'll phone tomorrow and see what buses are leaving from here. I don't travel much, i don't like it to be honest unless it's door to door. I'm over travelling on public transport, the roads are very rough in some places, it jarrs the spine. I've been at it all day celebrating someone's birthday coincidentally i shall now celebrate arriving here on this very auspicious day when someone was 9. Carry on darling u know ur never going to catch up to me. I was wondering what i could do for some small enterprize at home that wouldn't be any pressure for me. I found some material, i can start right away. We know to say thank u for these small mercies. I don't know where to find them anymore so i decided i would make my own, about a dozen should do. I'll find some finer material and maybe learn some lacey crochet to edge them with. It's the weeping all the time paper just doesn't cut it. It needs to be understood i weep for joy more than i weep for sorrow. Hence when i have the odd pity party i don't want pestering to buck myself up, thank u. I put the means to do me in in front of me as a sign to Spirit i had reached the end of my tether. I can't get over my Father's look. Sorta like, 'is that all?' My Dad was born in 1908. It's all to do with my children. So Dad comes in to remind me i'm not a child? He better not do that too often i've got that 'u haven't had children Dad u don't know how it feels.' Ace up my sleeve. I don't know what offends me the most? In that confusion i leave this as it is and another week goes by when i worry if my daughter can buy her dignity this week. Is she safe and warm and is she being Loved. Not that i believe in that airy fairy pipe dream stuff. My history proves it's all codswallop. It makes pretty songs. It gives us all something to hope for. I deleted facebook again today or yesterday. It takes up too much time and i'm not that keen on being so hooked in i can't put it down like some i know. I got sick of the constant barrage of crap from the female to male showing off the breastless chest, and caning the gender name. I'm not so keen on males at the best of time, so a female that has deliberately changed to a male just to cover up her bullying, is not my idea of a good friend. I'm bad. Not positive, always complaining about her family not helping her and now shoving her, he-ness down my neck. Bye facebook don't need that kind of bully in my life. Compounding this is the fact she knows she's doing it. The other thing that pisses me off about the gay thing here, what does it say when a country will give gays equality in marriage because one has the ear of the pm, before it gives women equal pay and the free childcare or gst free tampons and sanitary pads. If men bled it would be free. Not my worry anymore, chuckles. It shows u what a slack pack of useless females they were that supposedly fought for women's lib they couldn't even get free sanitary products or stop them being value added taxed. They never knew i existed i was busy paying for a roof over my head and electricity bills. They weren't going to support me. I saw a vapour trail in the sky over the sea. I know it's the only safe way to get rid of some things. At certain times of the year i have trouble breathing, like now. It's also mould season. It's constant even without rain. I can't wait to let u hear how i can do 'Soul Shadows.' It's a Love of mine. It's quite a feat to get past the tears, for what, i don't know, i never knew any of them. I think i just want u to see how it affects me just so u know, u have proof. The other one i like playing around with is Etta James. I Love those deep deep tones. Sorry darlings u only get down that far when u've pushed out a baby or three. Enjoy ur youth dears. My heaviest son weighed 8lb 6oz i thought i was going to split in two. Daughter next was like shelling a pea at 7lb, i could do a half a dozen of them anytime, easy as, painless too. Andrew was 8lb 4 oz when i was 33yrs. It was uncomfortable but i knew what was happening, i barracked him on. 'Come on son, u can do it.' I had craved garlic during pregnancy i knew it was a boy. I craved garlic with Matthew, i had form. That's the one experience i can take away from here, childbirth. Darlings it can be a revellation and for a woman it's the greatest initiation she will ever go through and oh men the woman that u get after, is formidable in the extreme if that turns u on. It should. For one such, 'all the world's a stage, all the men and women merely players!' So rack off hairy legs i got mine. That's how i felt after i'd got my third one delivered at home. There wasn't anything to worry about once my children and spouse walked through that front door. I'd covered it all. If those idiots don't think we have anything left to fight with, sorry kids u weren't looking we took care of it all in the ether when u were all asleep, carry on, it's cool. They will wither and die out. Who would carry that seed? Ratbag, it was that one. Bloody good job i was sitting down. I can't stand it when i'm not sitting ready. The voice is enough to drive u up the wall. Thank God for the repeat function. Oh i get it back and then just sit and wait for it to wash over me. BCW, i wish i felt great. Death warmed up more like. It won't last, only as long as the next period change. I need some time in the bush to get a handle on what the vibe is about. It tickles stop doing that, i can feel it. I can always feel it when u just slip in for a time. Why wouldn't i let u, it tickles. When it's not too bloody hot. It's like u kinda own the space. It's cold in here but i always feel warm bordering on the steaming hot when u get a bit too close. No one will ever understand the power of this, better just to let it be and enjoy it. We all have to anyway. Just remember who started it, he caused all this. I wouldn't be doing this if not for him. I wouldn't be bothered. With respect my loves, u just don't matter to me that much, Prince matters. Oh all lives matter but u know what i mean, here and now, i wouldn't be bothered to be but 'something about that man does something to me'. I care about him. U take care of him or else. Consequences for u. We have to talk about these recordings. There's a fullness about some, would they be Quincy Jones produced for Bill Withers. God is it just that the musicians are so in tune? There's a piece of equipment difference between them. They envelop ur whole being when they come on. The roundness could be coming from the violins. This is a turn up honest to God. I was as far down as i can get. I even sacked God. I hadn't had enough greenery. I get fed up of doing that as well. That's it then, don't make me go without the music i'm too up tight. I'm still sulking over having to turn off the mobile data thing to stop the adverts sucking up all my credit. It means i don't get any other mail. U have to watch out around u, miracles happen, like my fridge, still working properly? Not frosting up. I'd be a hopeless partner, i'd be listening to the music and if one disturbed me i'd tell him to p.o. Not a good sign. 'Spoonful.' is on, it's a chuckle. That music is a blast. Caught again, i knew it would be that, too late, that clap is a dead give away, 'Black Sweat.' I crack up everytime it comes on if it catches me. I put some of my quotes up today, that may be the thing i've been missing. I don't get down that far because i have these quotes up around the house to remind me i've come a long way. Oh ok, yes, i'm a little red corvette. That's if u mean a very fast deadly little boat. Oh yeah, i sets my course and steer straight for it. God has seen fit to equip me with a very good Spiritual sense of direction. Forget the passport crap, i don't count that i'm not responsible for the state of play around that. This one turns me on too. 'Something that turns u on.' well. Bill this music does it. Who's playing those instruments then? I know who's keeping me peaceful and warm. Like i said Prince's music doesn't date. Bill's is just giving me the words to describe it. I mean i could do this whole 63 years all over again as long as it leads me back to this and the music and Prince. Make sure he has a good one today please. Only don't tell him he doesn't want to be reminded. Stuff that he should know it's all more fun the older we get, we get to break more rules see. We know how to do it with subtlty, funny word. About the future, if i have to do it alone, i'm not up for it. If i have to work for the suffering of seeing more pain count me out of seeing the future. If i can get the idea we have to make the difference ourselves across then i'm up for whatever work u would have me undertake. It's not hard for me. I'm an adept. Wait 'til u find out what this feels like, blow ur mind it will. Well, u've been blowing mine for this long, 'bout time u got urs. Really i'm only interested in seeing him laugh. I'll split his sides. I'm so going to surprise u. There was a flash across the top of the page. Is it me or is the typing getting a bit more fluid? Yeah, well i never said accurate. I sent a text to the local national broadcaster, he was there recently, about it being someone's birthday, he never read it out. I didn't care, it was out there, it started it off, i wanted it to start here and spread around the world until he wakes up this morning and finds that we're all celebrating without him anyway. Rainwoman has skills. Funny how it seems we play with the whole thing on another level. Mind bogglingly wonderful, it's good to be the other side of that pit of despair, thanks to his music, the others help but he speaks all the right words to my mind. May God grant that all can find one such as he to serve this purpose for them. Quite a few of us find him fitting that bill perfectly. I have acute hearing, i hear more than most. I want more. It's like i absorb it into me. I think u have to want it on that level(etheric) for it to work though. U can't explain that until it does it to u, that, music making u shout out. Joy just busts out. I find the whole experience quite bizzare. Beautifully bizzare. That means i can't really find the words to explain it and i don't intend to try either. He's great at mixing it up down here. God i mean, not Prince. Get a load of it then! Try telling me He isn't having a lend of us, i won't believe u. I mean i love all the other music i've got but none of it comes close to Prince's. It's got something extra dimensional for me. I have a thing for numbers and music is numbers with rhythm i've got a bigger thing for that, i'm stuffed, hooked, line and sinkered babe. Don't save me i like this drowning feeling. The waves lift me up and carry me, on the best trip i've ever had. Yeah ok, ur right Stevie, 'Music is a world within itself.' I have to crack that mystery. It will bug me until i have a handle on it. Oh i remember that line in one of the 3EG songs about it being related to the 'sound' that started underground. Too simple. It doesn't explain the smile it paints all over my face when something i'm really fond of comes on, i'll even bounce around in public. Is it that we mostly try to enjoy ourselves with music to accompany it? I'll have to ponder it a bit more. I want a Nobel Peace award for his services to women, pull ur head in, i mean building their self esteem. His services to health for all the workout music he produces. In case u have any doubt about the power i weild see what happens now this is out there. His services to this, that and the other. It won't do them any good i'll get that award for him or disgrace those that would prevent it. We don't know half of what he has done for other women. I've told u some of it from my point of view. There are plenty of others all the same as me, grateful for his work. Don't tell him we don't want it going to his head. We just want that Nobel Peace Prize awarded to Prince for his service to the arts and the world. They wouldn't be hearing my crap if it wasn't for him either, they should think themselves very lucky. I Love this, who made this come about, he did, learn from him, he's brilliant. To u all in deep gratitude for this grant Infinite and eternal peace, joy and Love, take care, God Bless and Be Well.xxxxx