Question for straight black males.

There is something that has only happened with black males and I am convinced it is homophobia. Perhaps I am wrong and it is something else. Let me give a couple examples of what I'm talking about.

One time I got on the bus and sat down next to this black guy. He was on the inside of the seat next to the window. As the bus was packed, I took this seat as it was the only one available. Before my ass could hit the seat he literally jumped out of his seat mumbling something about space. I'm guessing it was the same thing I've heard from other black men, about being to close to their space. I mean he jumped as if I was on fire or like a cat that hits the water. It was ridiculous and over the top. All I wanted to do was sit down.

Another time I was in the liquor store and the store owner was off in another part of the store and the guy in front of me starts mumbling under his breath, and he starts hopping up and down and he starts punching his fist in his hand and his mumbling got louder and I hear man, you are in my fucking space dude. I was literally 3 feet away

Last night I stopped at the 711 and there was a drink on the counter where the lotto tickets were. I went over and pointed over the drink, never even getting close to it. This black guy says Hey man, you are too close and snatches the drink away with the quickness.

I am convinced that this is homophobia. I have only experienced this space issue with black men and believe me, I am very aware that people have issues with gays so I am always aware of males around me and make sure that I don't "threaten" them in any way, especially by being too close. Am I missing something in the black culture when it comes to males and space issues?

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[Edited 2/21/08 20:23pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

There is something that has only happened with black males and I am convinced it is homophobia. Perhaps I am wrong and it is something else. Let me give a couple examples of what I'm talking about.

One time I got on the bus and sat down next to this black guy. He was on the inside of the seat next to the window. As the bus was packed, I took this seat as it was the only one available. Before my ass could hit the seat he literally jumped out of his seat mumbling something about space. I'm guessing it was the same thing I've heard from other black men, about being to close to their space. I mean he jumped as if I was on fire or like a cat that hits the water. It was ridiculous and over the top. All I wanted to do was sit down.

Another time I was in the liquor store and the store owner was off in another part of the store and the guy in front of me starts mumbling under his breath, and he starts hopping up and down and he starts punching his fist in his hand and his mumbling got louder and I hear man, you are in my fucking space dude. I was literally 3 feet away

Last night I stopped at the 711 and there was a drink on the counter where the lotto tickets were. I went over and pointed over the drink, never even getting close to it. This black guy says Hey man, you are too close and snatches the drink away with the quickness.

I am convinced that this is homophobia. I have only experienced this space issue with black men and believe me, I am very aware that people have issues with gays so I am always aware of males around me and make sure that I don't "threaten" them in any way, especially by being too close. Am I missing something in the black culture when it comes to males and space issues?

Hmm? Interesting. It COULD be homophobia. So, let's say that it is: In the Black community - mainly bcause of how strong and infulential the Black church is - being gay is truly frowned upon, especially for Black men because they've always been the picture of masculinity and strength. So, when that masculinity is either in question or threatened, then a lashing out of sorts can come as a result of that.

Then, it could just be 3 isolated events that warrant no connection as a whole.

I'd also suggest that when you are that close to hetero brothas.....stop grabbing their crotch.

MuthaFunka said:

Hmm? Interesting. It COULD be homophobia. So, let's say that it is: In the Black community - mainly bcause of how strong and infulential the Black church is - being gay is truly frowned upon, especially for Black men because they've always been the picture of masculinity and strength. So, when that masculinity is either in question or threatened, then a lashing out of sorts can come as a result of that.

Then, it could just be 3 isolated events that warrant no connection as a whole.

I'd also suggest that when you are that close to hetero brothas.....stop grabbing their crotch.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Those are just 3 instances of many many I could cite It wasn't just 3 isolated times. It's been many times over the years.

Dance said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Those are just 3 instances of many many I could cite It wasn't just 3 isolated times. It's been many times over the years.

What do you think would happen if you went into an average small Midwest town that wasn't diverse?

I'm going to assume you're gay. But even so (and i'm not being funny) like are you wearing a skirt? I mean unless you're FLAMING, how would they know?

Now i will say this. Brothas in the hood are HUGE homophobes for the most part. Which is ironic because all of these cats either know someone or have someone in their family that's gay. Brothas in the hood just conduct themselves that way, and yeah it's fucked up. But is it more fucked up than how frat boys act? Because i know if you're on a college campus around the frat house and you're gay you've got some shit coming your way as well.

Either way, homophobia is racism no matter how you cut it. It's fucked up.

Dance said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Those are just 3 instances of many many I could cite It wasn't just 3 isolated times. It's been many times over the years.

What do you think would happen if you went into an average small Midwest town that wasn't diverse?

ButterscotchPimp said:

Sounds like u ran into some knuckles heads. Everyone deserves respect as a person.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

MuthaFunka said:

Hmm? Interesting. It COULD be homophobia. So, let's say that it is: In the Black community - mainly bcause of how strong and infulential the Black church is - being gay is truly frowned upon, especially for Black men because they've always been the picture of masculinity and strength. So, when that masculinity is either in question or threatened, then a lashing out of sorts can come as a result of that.

Then, it could just be 3 isolated events that warrant no connection as a whole.

I'd also suggest that when you are that close to hetero brothas.....stop grabbing their crotch.

Those are just 3 instances of many many I could cite It wasn't just 3 isolated times. It's been many times over the years.

And you know I want to be grabbing crotches but I need serious green lights and even then I'm very demure!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Dance said:

What do you think would happen if you went into an average small Midwest town that wasn't diverse?

I'd stand out like a sore thumb! I have been in small towns in different parts of the country and have experienced reactions from males. ALWAYS I am minding my own business. Always. But men need to react. But the reactions of black males, as I explained above has been the most extreme over the top and I have always heard the "space" thing come up. Each time it was mentioned.

Some of this reaction can be traced back many generations. One of the aspects of history that no one ever talks about is the homosexual conditions of slavery and the drama associated with how it was "maintained".

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Dance said:

What do you think would happen if you went into an average small Midwest town that wasn't diverse?

I'd stand out like a sore thumb! I have been in small towns in different parts of the country and have experienced reactions from males. ALWAYS I am minding my own business. Always. But men need to react. But the reactions of black males, as I explained above has been the most extreme over the top and I have always heard the "space" thing come up. Each time it was mentioned.

I think that this could be applied to Americans in general. I'be heard this "you're in my space"-comment many times, and I believe it's a cultural thing. Maybe black men feel are a little bit more sensitive about it than white men, but the general sentiment of Americans is "don't get too close to me". I noticed that especially when guys hug ... here in the States, you hug a dude without really getting to close to him. In Europe, guys really embrace each other, and in some countries (like Spain or France) it's not uncommon to even kiss each other on the cheek.

ButterscotchPimp said:

MuthaFunka said:

MrSoulpower said:

MuthaFunka said:

MrSoulpower said:

It's funny, because back in the jazz scene of the 1940s and 1950s, brothers used to call each other "baby". I always wondered why that would be, considering the homophobia you mentioned. Then I learned that calling another man "baby" is the ultimate displayal of awareness of your own musculinity ... because only a man who is really confident in his manhood thinks he can get away with that without being suspected to be gay ...

And it's the same way in sports - Athletes patting another athlete on the ass is "normal" but if you tried that shit at the club - a beatdown ensues.

MrSoulpower said:

MrSoulpower said:

MuthaFunka said:

And it's the same way in sports - Athletes patting another athlete on the ass is "normal" but if you tried that shit at the club - a beatdown ensues.

Right, especially among Football players. I think wearing all the protective gear makes a dude look tough, so he thinks he can get away with it. Soccer players don't really do that .. but they hug and jump on each other when they score a goal ..

evenstar said:

MrSoulpower said:

I think that this could be applied to Americans in general. I'be heard this "you're in my space"-comment many times, and I believe it's a cultural thing. Maybe black men feel are a little bit more sensitive about it than white men, but the general sentiment of Americans is "don't get too close to me". I noticed that especially when guys hug ... here in the States, you hug a dude without really getting to close to him. In Europe, guys really embrace each other, and in some countries (like Spain or France) it's not uncommon to even kiss each other on the cheek.

very true. i'm a woman, and the casual intimacy i experienced my first time in europe (cheek kissing, hugging, etc) made me somewhat uncomfortable. we just don't do that here.

ehuffnsd said:

evenstar said:

very true. i'm a woman, and the casual intimacy i experienced my first time in europe (cheek kissing, hugging, etc) made me somewhat uncomfortable. we just don't do that here.

that's funny in gay culture the issue of personal space is very european.

evenstar said:

MrSoulpower said:

I think that this could be applied to Americans in general. I'be heard this "you're in my space"-comment many times, and I believe it's a cultural thing. Maybe black men feel are a little bit more sensitive about it than white men, but the general sentiment of Americans is "don't get too close to me". I noticed that especially when guys hug ... here in the States, you hug a dude without really getting to close to him. In Europe, guys really embrace each other, and in some countries (like Spain or France) it's not uncommon to even kiss each other on the cheek.

very true. i'm a woman, and the casual intimacy i experienced my first time in europe (cheek kissing, hugging, etc) made me somewhat uncomfortable. we just don't do that here.

I've got a solution.






















































Hang out with Prince You'll NEEEEEVER have that problem.

And he'll share his poppin lip gloss with you. Kidding.

mdiver said:

evenstar said:

very true. i'm a woman, and the casual intimacy i experienced my first time in europe (cheek kissing, hugging, etc) made me somewhat uncomfortable. we just don't do that here.

Prude!

MrSoulpower said:

ehuffnsd said:

Black Guy's can be hyper sensitive about homosexuality, in fact whole countries can be...

I whilst visiting relatives in Jamaica, I was traveling on Public transport (mini van) and was next to the window in the front seat beside the (male) driver.

At the next stop a man was going to get in the van so I (wishing to stay by the cool window) got out to let this man on the bus…

BIG Mistake!!!

I got Threatened quite severely and I was in actual fear for my safety.. Other passengers on the bus intervened and helped me out by saying

"She’s English…she's English” I didn’t realise how this was helping as I had no clue what was going on.

Two women then offered to seat this man in-between them… He continue to cuss and shout at me from the back of the bus (and the driver just gave me dirty looks and kissed his teeth)

I looked out of the window….

Later when I’d reached my destination, I explained what had happen to my Nan who told me this.

One minute they want peace……

Then do everything to make it go away.