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Thread started 02/13/07 11:03pm

Janfriend

How should a husband love his wife?

God pursues us with his love

How should a husband love his wife?

You husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. Ephesians 5:25



In sickness and in health

Robertson McQuilken was president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary in Columbia, South Carolina. His wife, Muriel, was not only a devoted wife and mother, but also a painter, speaker, hostess for the college, fabulous cook, and host of her own radio program. Then Muriel was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Initially, the college board arranged for care, but then McQuilken decided to take early retirement to care for his wife.

In spite of her deterioration, McQuilken stood by her and continued to love her deeply. Eventually she rarely did more than mumble "nonwords." He wondered if he would ever hear her sweet voice again. Then came February 14, 1995. McQuilken writes:

Valentine's Day was always special at our house because that was the day in 1948 that Muriel accepted my marriage proposal. On the eve of Valentine's Day in 1995…I bathed Muriel on her bed, kissed her good night…and whispered a prayer over her, "Dear Jesus, you love sweet Muriel more than I, so please keep my beloved through the night; may she hear the angel choirs…"

The next morning while Muriel slowly emerged from sleep, I dipped into memories of some the happy Lover's Days long gone. Finally she popped awake and, as she often did, smiled at me. Then, for the first time in months, she spoke, calling out to me in a voice clear as a crystal chime, "Love… love… love…" I ran to embrace her. "Honey, you really do love me, don't you?" Holding me with her eyes and patting my back, she responded with the only words she could find to express agreement. "I'm nice," she said.

adapted from The One Year® Book of Christian History by E. Michael and Sharon Rusten, Tyndale House Publishers (2003), pp 90-91

*****


















This got me to thinking about what is considered "suitable" love in the midst of religion. I saw on an Oprah aftershow program where a man quoted the Bible speaking about his wife and him being one and she should never deny him sex. He was basically saying she should give it to him when he wants it because they are "one."

I heard on the radio today, a woman talk about being a good submissive wife to her husband and I cringed. I had to fight my automatic reflex to throw my sandwich at the windshield and scream. I honestly feel religion is used as an excuse to abuse women and brainwash them into thinking they are less important and not equal


Can anybody tell me how they reconcile marital expectations with religion?
[Edited 2/13/07 23:04pm]

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Reply #1 posted 02/14/07 4:48am

Mach

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Interesting thread / topic Jan rose

this made me falloff

"I heard on the radio today, a woman talk about being a good submissive wife to her husband and I cringed. I had to fight my automatic reflex to throw my sandwich at the windshield and scream."


lol

hug

The Whorg - org whores unite !

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Reply #2 posted 02/14/07 7:27am

HiinEnkelte

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simply put, a husband should love his wife the way Jesus loved the church.
with a sacrificial love. with a love ready and willing to lay down his life. always forgiving, always forbearing, and even (this can be misunderstood) seeing perfection where there is imperfection.

my church is in the middle of a great series of sermons on marriage.
i think they are great and wonderful on the topic. nod
http://www.desiringgod.or...992/Video/
http://www.desiringgod.org/
biggrin

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Reply #3 posted 02/14/07 7:36am

Mach

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HiinEnkelte said:

simply put, a husband should love his wife the way Jesus loved the church.
with a sacrificial love. with a love ready and willing to lay down his life. always forgiving, always forbearing, and even (this can be misunderstood) seeing perfection where there is imperfection.

my church is in the middle of a great series of sermons on marriage.
i think they are great and wonderful on the topic. nod
http://www.desiringgod.or...992/Video/
http://www.desiringgod.org/
biggrin


Thank you for the links rose

The Whorg - org whores unite !

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Reply #4 posted 02/14/07 7:40am

Dogbiteit

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I think the Bible quote you used at the beginning of your post sums it up. Jesus was kind and caring to his congregation. He did what was best for them. We should be the same for our wives willing to lay our life down for them is necessary.

As far as people using religion to abuse women, you are dead on. But that’s just part of it almost every organized religion is used to abuse and oppress others, it’s sickening.

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Reply #5 posted 02/14/07 8:00am

cborgman

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Dogbiteit said:

almost every organized religion is used to abuse and oppress others, it’s sickening.


nod

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Reply #6 posted 02/14/07 11:25am

Janfriend

Dogbiteit said:

I think the Bible quote you used at the beginning of your post sums it up. Jesus was kind and caring to his congregation. He did what was best for them. We should be the same for our wives willing to lay our life down for them is necessary.

As far as people using religion to abuse women, you are dead on. But that’s just part of it almost every organized religion is used to abuse and oppress others, it’s sickening.


Yes, that's my biggest issue

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Reply #7 posted 02/14/07 11:25am

Janfriend

Mach said:

Interesting thread / topic Jan rose

this made me falloff

"I heard on the radio today, a woman talk about being a good submissive wife to her husband and I cringed. I had to fight my automatic reflex to throw my sandwich at the windshield and scream."


lol

hug


lol It's so true though. I was really angry

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Reply #8 posted 02/14/07 11:32am

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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Janfriend said:

I heard on the radio today, a woman talk about being a good submissive wife to her husband and I cringed. I had to fight my automatic reflex to throw my sandwich at the windshield and scream. I honestly feel religion is used as an excuse to abuse women and brainwash them into thinking they are less important and not equal


Of course it is. Many want to interpret the scriptures that the man is the head of household end of story and that the woman is supposed to be subservient because he is the head and if you read the full scope of the scriptures people use to make this assertion, it also states that the husband shall submit himself to his wife as Christ has submitted himself to the church. It is a two way street but most won't see it that way. Very sad.

2009: Mermaids and Dolphins...
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Reply #9 posted 02/14/07 11:37am

Sowhat

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Mach said:


"I heard on the radio today, a woman talk about being a good submissive wife to her husband and I cringed. I had to fight my automatic reflex to throw my sandwich at the windshield and scream."




You better not have thrown that sandwich you made for your husband that you were hurriedly bringing to him at work Damn it! Plus it would have obstructed you view as you were on your way to the erotic store to buy hot oils for the massage you are going to give your master....I mean husband tonight!

JUST KIDDING!

Being a husband to a wonderful Woman and a Father to three beautiful young Daughters I have the utmost respect for all Women. My take on this is that a husband should love his wife (and family) the best he can. To try and be as understanding and patient as possible and always trying to improve.

"Always blessings, never losses......"

Ya te dije....no manches guey!!!!!

mad I'm a guy!!!!
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Reply #10 posted 02/14/07 1:33pm

HiinEnkelte

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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Janfriend said:

I heard on the radio today, a woman talk about being a good submissive wife to her husband and I cringed. I had to fight my automatic reflex to throw my sandwich at the windshield and scream. I honestly feel religion is used as an excuse to abuse women and brainwash them into thinking they are less important and not equal


Of course it is. Many want to interpret the scriptures that the man is the head of household end of story and that the woman is supposed to be subservient because he is the head and if you read the full scope of the scriptures people use to make this assertion, it also states that the husband shall submit himself to his wife as Christ has submitted himself to the church. It is a two way street but most won't see it that way. Very sad.


and yet who would say, as a Christian, that there is no essential difference between Christ as head and church as body?

but yes, it is unfortunately a point that is often left out or, imo, often misrepresented.

Welcome to the New World Odor and
the Mythmaking Moonbattery of Obamanation.

Chains We Can Bereave In

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Reply #11 posted 02/14/07 1:36pm

Prudence101

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Marriage mates are to be respectful and loving toward each other:


“Let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself; on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

It cuts both ways

cool

Aka Torah

*-)
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Reply #12 posted 02/14/07 1:39pm

cborgman

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HiinEnkelte said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:



Of course it is. Many want to interpret the scriptures that the man is the head of household end of story and that the woman is supposed to be subservient because he is the head and if you read the full scope of the scriptures people use to make this assertion, it also states that the husband shall submit himself to his wife as Christ has submitted himself to the church. It is a two way street but most won't see it that way. Very sad.


and yet who would say, as a Christian, that there is no essential difference between Christ as head and church as body?

but yes, it is unfortunately a point that is often left out or, imo, often misrepresented.


well, i am not a christian, but i would say there is a huge difference, as i doubt very seriously christ would have much to do at all with a large amount of "christianity"

"passing strange"... experience the real
http://www.youtube.com/wa...NFbc7gLzQE
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Reply #13 posted 02/14/07 2:02pm

HiinEnkelte

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cborgman said:

HiinEnkelte said:



and yet who would say, as a Christian, that there is no essential difference between Christ as head and church as body?

but yes, it is unfortunately a point that is often left out or, imo, often misrepresented.


well, i am not a christian, but i would say there is a huge difference, as i doubt very seriously christ would have much to do at all with a large amount of "christianity"


do you mean that Jesus would have very little to do with the orthodox understanding of Christian marriage? or are you just speaking more generally?

Welcome to the New World Odor and
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Reply #14 posted 02/14/07 2:04pm

cborgman

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HiinEnkelte said:

cborgman said:



well, i am not a christian, but i would say there is a huge difference, as i doubt very seriously christ would have much to do at all with a large amount of "christianity"


do you mean that Jesus would have very little to do with the orthodox understanding of Christian marriage? or are you just speaking more generally?


i am saying i think jesus would reject a lot of modern christianity as false, like the bible claims he said he would.
[Edited 2/14/07 14:04pm]

"passing strange"... experience the real
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Reply #15 posted 02/14/07 2:09pm

HiinEnkelte

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cborgman said:

HiinEnkelte said:



do you mean that Jesus would have very little to do with the orthodox understanding of Christian marriage? or are you just speaking more generally?


i am saying i think jesus would reject a lot of modern christianity as false, like the bible claims he said he would.


oh, so you're just making a statement way off topic. shrug

Welcome to the New World Odor and
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Reply #16 posted 02/14/07 2:14pm

cborgman

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HiinEnkelte said:

cborgman said:



i am saying i think jesus would reject a lot of modern christianity as false, like the bible claims he said he would.


oh, so you're just making a statement way off topic. shrug


no, just responding to your equally off topic post. shrug

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Reply #17 posted 02/14/07 2:15pm

lazycrockett

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Well I'm not a Bible Scholar but from what I recall Jesus himself didn't address marriage did he?

"...I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love...with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night I will steal away into your home...and punch you in the face!"
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Reply #18 posted 02/14/07 2:50pm

HiinEnkelte

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lazycrockett said:

Well I'm not a Bible Scholar but from what I recall Jesus himself didn't address marriage did he?


insofar as anything is certain about Jesus, he most certainly did address it.

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Reply #19 posted 02/14/07 2:51pm

lazycrockett

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HiinEnkelte said:

lazycrockett said:

Well I'm not a Bible Scholar but from what I recall Jesus himself didn't address marriage did he?


insofar as anything is certain about Jesus, he most certainly did address it.



Scripture?? Matthew, Mark, Luke, John??

"...I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love...with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night I will steal away into your home...and punch you in the face!"
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Reply #20 posted 02/14/07 2:51pm

HiinEnkelte

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cborgman said:

HiinEnkelte said:



oh, so you're just making a statement way off topic. shrug


no, just responding to your equally off topic post. shrug


how was mine off-topic? (but mighty kind of you to reply to me seeing as you thought it was off-topic! smilelol)

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Reply #21 posted 02/14/07 3:31pm

Uhope

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lazycrockett said:

HiinEnkelte said:



insofar as anything is certain about Jesus, he most certainly did address it.



Scripture?? Matthew, Mark, Luke, John??


Jesus corrected the Pharisees' sad view on divorce by saying rather than allowing divorce on every sort of grounds, that marriage was meant to be a permanent union. He went further by saying that who ever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.

Matthew 5:31, 32; Matthew 19:3-9, Mark 10:11, Luke 16:18

Go to the source: www.watchtower.org

Thanks! biggrin
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Reply #22 posted 02/14/07 4:07pm

HiinEnkelte

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Uhope said:

lazycrockett said:




Scripture?? Matthew, Mark, Luke, John??


Jesus corrected the Pharisees' sad view on divorce by saying rather than allowing divorce on every sort of grounds, that marriage was meant to be a permanent union. He went further by saying that who ever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.

Matthew 5:31, 32; Matthew 19:3-9, Mark 10:11, Luke 16:18


thanks Uhope!

Welcome to the New World Odor and
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Reply #23 posted 02/14/07 4:11pm

lazycrockett

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Uhope said:

lazycrockett said:




Scripture?? Matthew, Mark, Luke, John??


Jesus corrected the Pharisees' sad view on divorce by saying rather than allowing divorce on every sort of grounds, that marriage was meant to be a permanent union. He went further by saying that who ever divorces his wife, except on the grounds of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.

Matthew 5:31, 32; Matthew 19:3-9, Mark 10:11, Luke 16:18



Those scriptures all deal with divorce and adultery Not what Jesus views on Marriage was.

"...I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love...with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night I will steal away into your home...and punch you in the face!"
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Reply #24 posted 02/14/07 4:12pm

SexyBeautifulO
ne

Close the Bible and open the Karma Sutra! cool

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Reply #25 posted 02/14/07 4:13pm

Illustrator

Close the books & open the legs. cool

Ignore this post.
I don't need the encouragement.

"To criticize is to choose the laziest form of expression." -some deep dude
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Reply #26 posted 02/14/07 4:20pm

HiinEnkelte

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SexyBeautifulOne said:

Close the Bible and open the Karma Sutra! cool


is that a book which discloses that if you give a bad dirty sanchez, your bound to somewhere down the line get a bad donkey punch in return?

wink

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Reply #27 posted 02/14/07 4:20pm

BCorgman

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HiinEnkelte said:

cborgman said:



no, just responding to your equally off topic post. shrug


how was mine off-topic? (but mighty kind of you to reply to me seeing as you thought it was off-topic! smilelol)


i don't think either of them are actually off-topic, since you asked an open question which i answered. i was just turning the smart-assery back around on you.

for a true american hero who laid his life on the line for 32 years defending my freedoms...

Gen. Arnold Nemeyer (Ret.), i salute you
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Reply #28 posted 02/14/07 4:22pm

HiinEnkelte

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BCorgman said:

HiinEnkelte said:



how was mine off-topic? (but mighty kind of you to reply to me seeing as you thought it was off-topic! smilelol)


i don't think either of them are actually off-topic, since you asked an open question which i answered. i was just turning the smart-assery back around on you.


well i'm all for the reciprocal smart-assery (safe-sex!) lol, but how is this smart ass?

hiinenkelte said:

and yet who would say, as a Christian, that there is no essential difference between Christ as head and church as body?

but yes, it is unfortunately a point that is often left out or, imo, often misrepresented.


confuse

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Reply #29 posted 02/14/07 4:25pm

BCorgman

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HiinEnkelte said:[quote]

BCorgman said:



well i'm all for the reciprocal smart-assery (safe-sex!) lol, but how is this smart ass?

hiinenkelte said:

and yet who would say, as a Christian, that there is no essential difference between Christ as head and church as body?

but yes, it is unfortunately a point that is often left out or, imo, often misrepresented.


confuse


for someone so brilliant, you can be really easy to confuse. (and no, i really mean that as a compliment, not as spite)

that wasn't the smart assery, the part about my response to your question being unrelated was.

for a true american hero who laid his life on the line for 32 years defending my freedoms...

Gen. Arnold Nemeyer (Ret.), i salute you
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