My Secret Love (I Refuse)


Love
Has never been easy for me
Can’t you see
I have always been lonely
Faith
It seems like a mystery
Girls like me
Have to hide our hearts away

If only we could live one day
Without the need to hide away
I’d tell the truth to everyone
How I live for you

But people never understand
They’ll destroy us if they can
Say we were struck down by the
Hand of Heaven

We must be wise
And keep our disguise
Stand by our lies
My secret love

I refuse
To think of losing you
I won’t give the world
The chance of accusing you
I refuse
I’d sooner die than tell
I’m under your sweet spell
My secret love

No
Don’t say a single word
Can’t be sure
Can’t be sure that we won’t be
Heard

Like Romeo and Juliet
They will chase us to our death
Then voice their false regret
The liars
But since the day that we first
Met
And until I take my dying breath
I’ll be tangled in your net
Of desire

I refuse…

I refuse
To think of losing you
I won’t give the world
The chance of abusing you
I refuse
To tell the truth of you
I refuse for you
My secret love

You and I, we are like spies in the house of holy love. We are actors in a heartless play. I smile my smile and play my part and forever hide my lonely heart.
My secret love


---what do you think this song is really about?

Well, this song appeared in the movie "Grace Of My Heart" and was sung by a character that was a closet lesbian...

jtfolden said:

OMG, I thought I was the only one who saw that movie. I have the soundtrack! You didn't have to give it away. I wanted people to guess

Janfriend said:

LOL Same here. In fact, I have a quickly withdrawn copy of the soundtrack featuring Joni Mitchell's vocals on Man From Mars by mistake.

Didn't mean to give it away, just figured that maybe you'd come across the track and didn't know the context.

Wow, Joni Mitchell's vocals on Man from Mars. How does it sound? How was it a mistake?

Janfriend said:

It sounds great, much better than Kristan Vigard's, imo, but then I love Joni's smoky voice. (She later completely redid this track and included it on her own "Taming The Tiger" album.)

Anyway, Joni's then husband at the time, Larry Klein, was responsible for producing the soundtrack and he asked her to write a track for the movie as he thought the subject matter would be appropriate. She finally came up with one and it was going to be heavily featured in the movie. Later, it got demoted and trimmed down to a little background music during the funeral scene and Joni felt uncomfortable having it featured on the soundtrack and not really be in the movie so her vocals were replaced on the track. An accident during the mastering process left her track on the cd and not Kristen's, however, so MCA records had to withdraw 20,000-40,000 CD's and re-issue a new release.


A little bit of obscure trivia: "Man From Mars" is the name of one of Joni's cats and the song was written about him, rather than anything to really do with the movie. She scolded the cat for peeing on her floor and he ran away for two days - the result being that joni was so worried about him she wrote a song about her search and fear of him being lost. lol Listen to the lyrics and think of Joni calling for her little gray cat.