He died at the worst time. Of course, any time for him to die was horrible. But I was in a really rough spot in my life. I was emotional every day, almost all day, anxiety was debilitating. Then MJ up and dies on our asses. I just lost it. I bawled for days and days. Like, not just a little tear, but bawled like I was facing the electric chair. It was almost a full year until I could listen to his music again, after those first few days of mourning, then the funeral.

Onto this year, I wrote an article for Militant's The Violet Reality site, The First Time We Lost Michael Jackson. Take a read.

I miss MJ very much.

I miss Prince very much.

I miss George Michael very much.

I miss David Bowie very much.

TrivialPursuit said:

alphastreet said:

I was going through hell anyways that time too with an emotionally abusivr coworker and was going for counselling and day treatment after downsizing my hours. The London trip to see this is it was going to be my highlight so when cut off from that I felt sad and I really felt for his family. I also found it hard to listen to him, especially with the ballads, they would make me cry

I'm sorry you had a tough time back then. That sounds horrible what you had to deal with. My situation was sorta the same but with a landlord. Took me a couple of years to get out of that headspace, but I started listening to MJ shortly before that.

I guess as much as we love our artists, we never realize just how much we cared about them until they're gone. It's a bit of an epiphany of how invested we really were.

[Edited 6/28/20 19:23pm]

TrivialPursuit said:

TrivialPursuit said:

Free2BMe said:

TrivialPursuit said:

He died at the worst time. Of course, any time for him to die was horrible. But I was in a really rough spot in my life. I was emotional every day, almost all day, anxiety was debilitating. Then MJ up and dies on our asses. I just lost it. I bawled for days and days. Like, not just a little tear, but bawled like I was facing the electric chair. It was almost a full year until I could listen to his music again, after those first few days of mourning, then the funeral.

Onto this year, I wrote an article for Militant's The Violet Reality site, The First Time We Lost Michael Jackson. Take a read.

I miss MJ very much.

I miss Prince very much.

I miss George Michael very much.

I miss David Bowie very much.

I enjoyed your article. Just want to point out one thing. Michael only wore pajama bottoms one time to court. There were not multiple times. The one time that he wore the pajama bottoms was the day that he came to court straight from the emergency room. He was having back spasms and had to go to hospital. Tom Mesereau called the judge and told him Michael would be late because he was at hospital. Judge Melville threatened to hold Michael in contempt if he didn’t appear at court in a certain amount of time. He didn’t give Michael a chance to go home and change clothes. Luckily, Michael had on a jacket or he would had to appear in court in a T-shirt and pajama bottoms. Of course, Michael looked groggy on THAT day because he had been given medication for his back pain, most likely muscle relaxer. That’s what they gave me for the same problem and it made me so groggy, I could barely walk.FTR, that was the only time that he appeared to be groggy. The media portrayed this Incident with the pajama bottoms as something that happened more than once. It didn’t. I have footage of every single day that Michael walked into court. Not only does that footage show the different suits that Michael wore every single day, you can also observe his demeanor. BTW, after the verdict, the jurors were asked what they thought of Michael appearing in pajama bottoms. Every juror said that they didn’t even know that he had them on and couldn’t see them anyway because he was seated when they came into courtroom. Just wanted to point that out, since that was a misconception perpetuated by the media. Thanks for posting link to article. It was a nice read. [Edited 6/28/20 23:18pm]

How do you know that to be the actual truth and fact? True that it was only one time that Michael appeared at court in pajama bottoms, but how do you know that it just wasn't another publicity stunt by Michael or his PR camp, because let's face it, we all know how things work in the celebrity world. Michael himself have pulled many publicity stunts, just to gain attention, just like most celebs do, so how do we actually know that pajama gate was not yet another one? I mean come on, I don't care if Michael was ordered to court immediately or not! Do you actually think that Michael, with all of his resourses, and people at his beck and call, couldn't have gotten a change of clothing to appear in court with? ...And as for him being groggy, we all know that the man was doing drugs, so how do we know that it simply wasn't the drugs he was doing, and not some medication for back pain? I think we believe what we want to believe, and if you weren't actually there to witness anything with your actual eyes, that no one can speak on it as actual fact.

[Edited 6/29/20 9:00am]

[Edited 6/29/20 9:00am]

alphastreet said:

Looby, just what drugs do you think he was doing? Painkillers or something else?

Who knows? I would have never dreamed that Michael did drugs period. It was a shock to me that he even died from a drug. But isn't it known that he got hooked on them and used to go to his doctor for them because he liked the feeling he had while being put under for surgery? Clearly we know that he was doing something because that's how he died.

[Edited 6/29/20 12:04pm]

looby said:

alphastreet said:

looby said:

Who knows? I would have never dreamed that Michael did drugs period. It was a shock to me that he even died from a drug. But isn't it known that he got hooked on them and used to go to his doctor for them because he liked the feeling he had while being put under for surgery? Clearly we know that he was doing something because that's how he died.

[Edited 6/29/20 12:04pm]

That also shocked me cause I thought he was drug free and health conscious before that. After sometime following his death, I also felt disappointed in him for using propofol though was mostly mad at the doctor who gave it to him. I even felt bad at one point when I heard he took it during history tour cause I felt guilty he was trying to please fans with his tours and put himself through that

I know, and I know that many blame the doctor, but it was Michael who hired the doctor, and Michael who rules the doctor followed. There are those that will do anything for money if the price is right, no matter if it's right or wrong, and unfortunately Michael's doctor was one of them. Michael was in control of his own life and what he did in it. Michael may have had fame and fortune, and he was a very talented person, but in my opinion, all that fame and fortune wasn't worth it, because he suffered tremendously in life, and was put through a lot because of it. As shocking as it was, it's no wonder that he used drugs to try and ease his pain. Fame and fortune may seem like a dream, but many pay a hell of a price for it, and Michael was one of them.

alphastreet said:

Looby, just what drugs do you think he was doing? Painkillers or something else?

Which isn't drugs in my book. Cocaine is drugs. Heroin is drugs. Crystal Meth is drugs. Painkillers is medication to help you with a problem. He had a doctor to help him a problem. He didn't use that shit to get high. And it's misleading that in the english language everything is lumped together.

alphastreet said:

Though I was excited for the tour, I was surprised he was going that route and not putting out an album since he said in his private home movies special that he doesn’t like to tour.

It was no tour though. It doesn't come much easier than setting up shop in a city for 2 months and do a show every second night.

PatrickS77 said:

alphastreet said:

Looby, just what drugs do you think he was doing? Painkillers or something else?

Which isn't drugs in my book. Cocaine is drugs. Heroin is drugs. Crystal Meth is drugs. Painkillers is medication to help you with a problem. He had a doctor to help him a problem. He didn't use that shit to get high. And it's misleading that in the english language everything is lumped together.

Are you serious? Look up any "painkiller" and see if it's not listed as a drug. If you take too many "painkillers" can it not kill you? So what difference does it make if it's called a "medication" or a drug, since medications are just another way to say drugs?

PatrickS77 said:

looby said:

PatrickS77 said:

Which isn't drugs in my book. Cocaine is drugs. Heroin is drugs. Crystal Meth is drugs. Painkillers is medication to help you with a problem. He had a doctor to help him a problem. He didn't use that shit to get high. And it's misleading that in the english language everything is lumped together.

Are you serious? Look up any "painkiller" and see if it's not listed as a drug. If you take too many "painkillers" can it not kill you? So what difference does it make if it's called a "medication" or a drug, since medications are just another way to say drugs?

Yes. I am. Otherwise I wouldn't have said it. Can't help you if you can't see the difference.

alphastreet said:

PatrickS77 said:

Which isn't drugs in my book. Cocaine is drugs. Heroin is drugs. Crystal Meth is drugs. Painkillers is medication to help you with a problem. He had a doctor to help him a problem. He didn't use that shit to get high. And it's misleading that in the english language everything is lumped together.

I understand that all he wanted to do was sleep, but was going through drastic and dangerous measures to get that and that there was a payoff in that codependent relationship

Exactly. And with a Doctor present, he sadly thought that he was safe.

[Edited 6/29/20 13:31pm]

PatrickS77 said:

alphastreet said:

PatrickS77 said:

Exactly. And with a Doctor present, he sadly thought that he was safe.

[Edited 6/29/20 13:31pm]

He thought it was safe since he used it during HIStory tour too and a different doctor was giving it to him. Someone should have just referred him to a sleep therapist and then maybe he would have still been alive

Yeah. Luckily he had someone on the HIStory tour who knew what the fuck he was doing, unlike the quack who killed him. It was Michael's mistake though that he wanted a quick solution. A nurse did suggest a sleep therapist, but he wanted quick results.

I can definitely understand just putting your trust in doctors, thinking that just because they are a doctor, that however they decide to treat us, is right. I often think about myself, and when I go to my personal doctor, and they prescribe this or that medication for me, and how I just take it, with hardly any questions asked. Then when I really think about it, or after taking a certain medication prescribed by my doctor, and then hear a warning about that drug being recalled or have some sort of serious side effect to it that my doctor said nothing about? How many of us do that, just naively trust doctors simply because they are a doctor? When you think about it, that is some scary stuff!

looby said:

I can definitely understand just putting your trust in doctors, thinking that just because they are a doctor, that however they decide to treat us, is right. I often think about myself, and when I go to my personal doctor, and they prescribe this or that medication for me, and how I just take it, with hardly any questions asked. Then when I really think about it, or after taking a certain medication prescribed by my doctor, and then hear a warning about that drug being recalled or have some sort of serious side effect to it that my doctor said nothing about? How many of us do that, just naively trust doctors simply because they are a doctor? When you think about it, that is some scary stuff!

Yes. It definitely is. Just reading the bypack manual or whatever it's called, is scary.

PatrickS77 said:

alphastreet said:

PatrickS77 said:

Yeah. Luckily he had someone on the HIStory tour who knew what the fuck he was doing, unlike the quack who killed him. It was Michael's mistake though that he wanted a quick solution. A nurse did suggest a sleep therapist, but he wanted quick results.

He may have known what he was doing, but there is also the question of how ethical it was to do, cause it’s not like something someone would have normally used outside a hospital for surgery or a procedure . It should have never happened in the first place, and if tours were the cause, I would have rather had him take care of his health instead of trying to please the masses [Edited 6/29/20 14:35pm]

Obviously it was not ethical, but if you have someone do unethical stuff, at least get someone who's good at it and won't kill you.

looby said:

PatrickS77 said:

looby said:

PatrickS77 said:

Free2BMe said:

PatrickS77 said:

Which isn't drugs in my book. Cocaine is drugs. Heroin is drugs. Crystal Meth is drugs. Painkillers is medication to help you with a problem. He had a doctor to help him a problem. He didn't use that shit to get high. And it's misleading that in the english language everything is lumped together.

It seems that some people actually WANT Michael to have died from a self induced drug overdose from fentanyl, heroin, cocaine, etc. He died from Conrad Murray’s, a doctor, negligence. Michael wasn’t getting high, he was trying a remedy to get sleep. If Murray had monitored Michael, he would be alive. All of these things came out in court. According to autopsy report there were NO DRUGS in Michael’s system other than what Murray was pumping into him. I know it fits Looby and others like him/her to portray Michael as a drug addict to make them feel. Enter about their favorite artist. However, the FACTS say that there were other drugs in Michael’s system other than the Propofol that contributed to his death. The DA even asked the coroner, how far back could the autopsy report results go. The coroner said 3-4 weeks. Bottomline is that MJ did not die from a self induced drug overdose. That’s what the media WANTED and that’s what haters WANTED. Btw, Michael’s murder by Conrad Murray trial was given full 24 hour coverage for weeks. Everything that I’m saying was right there for any AWARE person to review.

Exactly.