I'm the illest rapper to hold the cordless, patrollin corners
Looking for hookers to punch in the mouth with a roll of quarters
I'm meaner in action than Roscoe beatin James Todd Sr.
across the back with vacuum cleaner attachments {Ow! Ow! Ow!}
I grew up in a wild hood, as a hazardous youth
with a fucked up childhood, that I used as an excuse
And ain't shit changed, I kept the same mindstate
since the third time that I failed 9th grade
You probably think that I'm a negative person, don't be so sure of it
I don't promote violence, I just encourage it {c'mon}
I laugh at the sight of death
as I fall down a cement flight of steps {ahhhhh!}
and land inside a bed of spider webs
So throw caution to the wind; you and a friend
can jump off of a bridge and if you live, do it again
Shit, why not, blow your brain out, I'm blowin mine out
Fuck it, you only live once, you might as well die now!

There's people that love me and people that hate me
But it's the evil that made me this backstabbing, deceitful, and shady
I want the money, the women, the fortune, and the fame
That Means I'll end up burning in hell scorching in flames
That means I'm stealing your checkbook and forging your name
Lifetime bliss for eternal torture and pain
Right now I feel like just hit the rock bottom
I got problems now everybody on my blocks got 'em
I'm screaming like those two cops when 2pac shot 'em
Holding two glocks, I hope your doors got new locks on 'em
My daughter's feet ain't got no shoes or sock's on 'em
And them rings you wearing look like they got a few rocks on 'em
And while you flaunting them I could be taking them to shops to pawn them
I got a couple of rings and a brand new watch you want 'em?
Cause I never went gold of one song
I'm running up on someone's lawns with guns drawn

wanted an album so rugged nobody could touch it
Spend a million a track and went over my budget (Ohh shit!)
Now how in the fuck am I supposed to get out of debt?
I can't rap anymore - I just murdered the alphabet
Drug sickness got me doin some bugged twitches
I'm withdrawn from crack so bad my blood itches
I don't rap to get the women - fuck bitches
Give me a fat slut that cooks and does dishes
Never ran with a click - I'm a posse
Kamikaze, strappin a motherfuckin bomb across me
From the second I was born, my momma lost me
I'm a cross between Manson, Esham and Ozzy
I don't know why the fuck I'm here in the first place
My worst day on this earth was my first birthday
Retarded? What did that nurse say? Brain damage?
Fuck, I was born during the earthquake

OK, I'm going to attempt to drown myself
You can try this at home
You can be just like me!

Mic check one two.. we recordin?
I'm cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn't wanna answer this
If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus
I strangled you to death then I choked you again
Then break your fuckin legs till your bones poke through your skin
You beef wit me, I'ma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer, and beat yer ass legally
I get you blunted off of funny home grown
Cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono
(Ohh no!!) So if I said I never did drugs
That would mean I lie AND get fucked more than the President does
Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert
I ripped her fuckin tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch!)
My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge
Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blonde dreads (Fuck you!)
Every girl I ever went out wit is goin lez
Follow me and do exactly what the song says:
smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink
And jump behind the wheel like it was still legal
I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill
Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin skill
Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill
But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist
How the fuck can I be white, I don't even exist
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave
My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?
And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?

Now follow me and do exactly what you see
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I slap women and eat shrooms then O.D.
Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole
When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold'
Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold
Killed em both and smeared blood in a white Bronco (we did it!)
My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk
I slapped Garth Brooks out of his Rhinestone shirt
I'm not a player just a ill rhyme sayer
That'll spray an Aerosol can up at the ozone layer (psssssh)
My rap style's warped, I'm runnin out the morgue
witcha dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch
Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon wit a cape on
And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn
I'm bout as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative traits
A premature birth that was four minutes late
Mother.. are you there? I love you
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel
Will someone explain to my brain that I just severed
a main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain?
I take a breather and sighed; either I'm high, or I'm nuts
Cause if you ain't tiltin this room, neither am I
So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass
Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her
Cause when I drop this solo shit it's over with
I bought Cage's tape, opened it, and dubbed over it

I came to the club drunk with a fake ID
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I've been with 10 women who got HIV
Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I got genital warts and it burns when I pee
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree
You probably wanna grow up to be just like me!!!

Life.. by Marshall Mathers
What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle
put in front of your optical to slow you down
And everytime you think you gotten past it
it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin
What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny
Money is the root of all evil
Money'll make them same friends come back around
swearing that they was always down
What is life?
I'm tired of life
I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
I'm tired of committing so many sins
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never having any ends
Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins
I'm tired of this DJ playing YOUR shit when he spins
Tired of not having a deal
Tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel
Tired of drowning in my sorrow
Tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my Monte Carlo
I'm tired of motherfuckers spraying shit and dartin off
I'm tired of jobs startin off at five fifty an hour
then this boss wanders why I'm smartin off
I'm tired of being fired everytime I fart and cough
Tired of having to work as a gas station clerk
for this jerk breathing down my neck driving me bezerk
I'm tired of using plastic silverware
Tired of working in Building Square
Tired of not being a millionaire

But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
without a condom on, while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

I'm tired of being white trash, broke and always poor
Tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store
I'm tired of not having a phone
Tired of not having a home to have one in if I did have it on
Tired of not driving a BM
Tired of not working at GM, tired of wanting to be him
Tired of not sleeping without a Tylenol PM
Tired of not performing in a packed coliseum
Tired of not being on tour
Tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work
in the back of a Contour
I'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones
Having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns
Tired of being stared at
I'm tired of wearing the same damn Nike Air hat
Tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of Lugz
Tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs
Tired of other rappers who ain't bringin half the skill as me
saying they wasn't feeling me on "Nobody's As Ill As Me"
I'm tired of radio stations telling fibs
Tired of J-L-B saying "Where Hip-Hop Lives"

But if I had a million dollars
I'd buy a damn brewery, and turn the planet into alcoholics
If I had a magic wand, I'd make the world suck my dick
without a condom on, while I'm on the john
If I had a million bucks
it wouldn't be enough, because I'd still be out
robbing armored trucks
If I had one wish
I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

Yo.. Slim Shady!
Yo.. I'll fuckin.. I'll..
I'll puke, eat it, and freak you (eww)
Battle? I'm too weeded to speak to
The only key that I see to defeat you
would be for me to remove these two Adidas and beat you
and force feed you 'em both, and on each feet is a cleat shoe
I'll lift you off your feet so fast with a roundhouse
you'll think I pulled the fuckin ground out from underneath you
(Bitch!) I ain't no fuckin G, I'm a cannibal
I ain't tryin to shoot you,
I'm tryin to chop you into pieces and eat you
Wrap you in rope and plastic, stab you with broken glass
and have you with open gashes strapped to a soakin mattress
Coke and acid, black magic, cloaks and daggers (ahhh!)
Fuck the planet, until it spins on a broken axis
I'm so bananas I'm showin up to your open casket
to fill it full of explosive gasses
and close it back with a lit match in it
while I sit back and just hope it catches
Blow you to fragments
Laugh, roll you and smoke the ashes

Nothin' moves me more than a groove the soothes me,
Nothin' soothes me more than a groove
that boosts me,
Nothin' boosts me more,
Or suits me beautifully,
There's nothin' you can do to me,
Stab me,
Shoot me,
Psychotic,
Hypnotic, product I got the antibiotic.
Ain't nobody hotter and so on and yada yada
God I talk a lot of hem-de-lay-la-la-la,
oochie walla um da dah da dah da but you gotta gotta,
Keep movin',
There's more music to make,
Keep makin' new shit,
Produce hits to break
the monotony,
What's gotten into me?
Drug's, rock and Hennessey,
Thug like I'm 'Pac on my enemies,
On your knees,
Got you under seige,
Somebody you would give a lung to be hungry,
Like a fuckin' younger me,
Fuck the fee,
I can get you jumped for free,
Yah buddy,
Laugh it's funny,
I have the money to have you killed by somebody who has nothing,
I'm past bluffing,
Pass the K-Y,
Let's get ready for some intense,
serious ass fucking!

come on now; slim is sick. One of the best ever.
My music can be slightly amusing
You shouldn't take lyrics so serious, it might be confusing
Just trying to seperate the truth from entertainment
It's stupid, ain't it? I get sick of trying to explain it
See I could sit and argue with you but it goes beyond
Just being a snot, pointy-nosed bleach-blond
Cause I came here to uplift; let your woes be gone,
Tell 'em to get fu*ked and just mosie on
Constantly moving, constantly using the constitution
As a form of restitution
Bless the children, nothing less than brilliant
Let me entertain you like Robbie Williams
I'll be here when y'all are gone, rebuilding,
World revolving, still evolving, still Slim
How many kids'll copy? Probably millions,
But I'ma do this as a fu*king hobby till then, cause
[Edited 5/14/09 13:27pm]

Graycap23 said:

You are so wrong for that, even if it is true.

Damn, a lot of non hiphop fans in here obviously, but what do you expect on a Prince board.

Eminem has major skills and one of the best pure spitters ever. Listening thru his new album, his flow and rhyme patterns are ridiculous if you know anything about rap. His subject matter may be off putting, has some weak/corny choruses but can't deny his raw skill as a rapper.

Now, I don't know where he falls in all time rappers but probably in top 20 somewhere. My number one rapper is Nas, followed by Jay, Rakim, Biggie and Pac.

Anyway, Nick Cannon taking this way too serious. Yeah, he's defending his wife but Em is in character on the album. His slim shady persona allows him to say shit that is out of line for anyone. He raps about rape, murder and everything under the sun on this album. He raps as a dead Christopher Reeves for crying out loud. Don't take him seriously, just enjoy it for what it is or move on.

blumer said:

That's a bit dismissive. People here listen to more than Prince. People here probably love Englebert Humperdink as much as they love Barry Manilow, or Britney Spears or Led Zepplin or The Circle Jerks.

ernestsewell said:

Sorry but its true. I rarely see hiphop posts in here and when I do, its the few mainstream acts like Eminem, Jay-Z or Lil Wayne that get a post. There's a school of thought that rap isn't music and it seems to prevail on this board, something I don't agree with however.

And yeah, the Engelbert Humperdink is funny, but more likely for your average Prince fan than knowing they have heard the new Tanya Morgan album. I just don't see a lot of knowledge in the few hiphop posts I've seen on here. Why I spend most my time in Okayplayer where I can get a healthy dose of both due to Quest's love of Prince.

blumer said:

This board isn't the end all and be all of music thought, or even Prince conversations either. When in Rome...
[Edited 5/14/09 13:56pm]

Thanks for posting those lyrics to LIFE...THAT SONG IS HHHOOOOTTTT. He spoke nothing but the truth on just about every album. His underground material is top notch too

He needs to retire and grow up. I don't find joking around about rape and hitting women funny what so ever. Dude needs some serious help and anger management classes. He's not even from detroit either...he's from warren which is a surburb of detroit. 8 mile is outside of detroit. I went to school in Michigan and everyone says this. Now if he was claiming 7 mile, it would be a different story. The only reason why he got popular was because he is a white rapper who is controversial. Leave the satire to Weird Al, Eminem.

BoOTyLiCioUs said:

violetblues said:

Oh yeah I forgot that.

I can't wait for a Tele-tubbies showdown

6 pages of argument on two talentless individuals .....

Eminem: A bubble gum who built his entire career dissing people to get attention , most of his songs are mockery, his catalogue is flawed.

Nick cannon: unknown irresponsible individual who decide to blast eminem to get some attention, he is a married person, so he should just shut the hell up, he should not embarrass himself and his wife, calling each other names like little children, grow up, he gave eminem more attention by attacking him.

seeingvoices12 said:

I agree 100%. Back when Eminem first came out and started blowing up, I never completely understood why he felt the desire to make fun of all the big pop acts. When he would make comments about how he wasn't a pop star, I remember how I would laugh my ass off. Dude had teenage girls making posters for him, painting his name across their pre-pubescent cheeks and foreheads, and screaming outside of the MTV studios when he made appearances on TRL....not really that much different from the girls who were doing the same thing for NSync, Britney, BSB, and every other teenybopper pop act that went on that show. Any artist who constantly topped the TRL countdown and repeatedly debuted atop the Billboard Top 200 is a pop artist to me. I don't care what they say, what their fans say, or what musical genre they are claiming; teenage girls were loving them some Eminem. If a large marjority of the general public is digging you, than you're a Popular artist IMO. Nothing wrong with being popular, especially in the monetary department.

Nick Cannon is like a fugly, younger, goofier, way less talented version of Jamie Foxx. He shouldn't really be taken all that seriously. Right now, he's being dubbed Mr. Mariah Carey, so him calling Eminem a 'has-been' just makes him look like an idiot. Man, when is Mariah going to get bored with this clown and dump is corny ass? Everytime I see pictures of this dude, he looks mentally challenged...like he rode the short bus to school.
[Edited 5/14/09 17:37pm]

seeingvoices12 said:

U sound like somebody who dont have any of the albums or know any lyrics off hand to even back up your point for talent-less

paisleypark4 said:

Again , talentless....

I know the majority of eminem's work, my brother WAS a fan, his albums were thrown in the garbage can before years ago by the fan himself.

seeingvoices12 said:

These two fools should get in a MMA ring and duke it out. I bet no one would watch either but if they do it would be as a sideshow. They be perfect for a Celebrity Deathmatch right now.

Timmy84 said:

seeingvoices12 said:

but what is your backing for talentless? Everyone on the Earth got one...I hate when people say that about another person...dude is not Paris Hilton..she has a talent in somehting...she sisnt using it well..but hell..everybody has one. I swear No one I know locally could write with clever catchy wordplay or thought provoking lyrics like "Stan" or "The Way I Am" "Mosh" or "Lose Yourself" and sound good doing it.

His whole crew around him tried to sound like him and it shows that his level is way above theirs..50 Cent, Lloyd Banks, D-12 all them cant do anyhting like him and he is only 4 albums deep. Where is your rap argument?

Well I ain't talking about talent. I'm talking about two fools who don't know when to shut up. Y'all been off topic the last three pages.

Like I said bring on Celebrity Deathmatch.

kano1987 said:

I agree. But Nick Cannon is just fanning the flames and feeding the .

blumer said:

Indeed.
He murdered jay though on renegade.

midiscover said:

This is just great.


Not only is he a really big douche bag.. but in a couple of years, he will be a douche bag with some girls name on his back he isn't with.


FAIL
[Edited 5/15/09 6:57am]

Sdldawn said:

NOW thats the truth if I ever heard one

^ I did always wonder why Nick got that big ass Mariah tattoo and she got the little hardly there Mrs. Cannon tat. All is not fair in love and business.

i'd do the same thing..so that it can be easily removed! She knew better. But he's a kid..it shows he was being dumb anyway

paisleypark4 said:

it's hilarious

paisleypark4 said:

and to boot, By that time Eminem will have another album out to make fun of him even more about it.

im still surprised Mariah couldn't do any better than nick cannon

nick cannon is walking into a trap, and if he actually tries to battle em he'll be helping em more than anything.


i read this ahwile ago, and i was with him, but turning it into a racial thing was a bit of a stretch. straight up? i think nick is just a sucka for love type. not the worst thing in the world, but that shit is offensive to one as pimpish as i