Got this in an email thought you guys might have a laugh at it.
Enjoy


HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.


FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave...without the princess.


DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.


GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...


GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duett by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.

PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the heavy metal protagonist.

INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes anobscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someones screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are
still looking for the one who did this.

CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to 'thank' the protagonist he replies, "sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."

GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.


NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

EMO
The protagonist sees the dragon and moans about how hard it will be to get the princess to fall in love with him, he gets eaten. The princess
is very happy, because he was a whiny bitch anyway.

I like the first one best.

And I didn't even know there was such a thing as "grind metal".

minneapolisgenius said:

I think that's the kind of music where they scream and you can't understand what they are saying.

But where's BLACK METAL? You know, the one where the protagonist crucifies the dragon on an upside down cross and then sacrifies the princess to Satan and drinks her blood?

sextonseven said:

i thought Black Metal and Death Metal were the same.

Sweeny79 said:

there's a lot of rap groups that do that.

sinisterpentatonic said:

me too.

sinisterpentatonic said:

Really?

I don't think I have more than 5 rap cd's total. I am severly lacking in that category.

sinisterpentatonic said:

Nope. You get more satanic imagery in black metal.

sextonseven said:

Huh. Good to know.

I'll go for christian rock. Funny thread

virginie74 said:

Thanks

My favorite description is the Nu Metal one.... I can so see that as a Korn video.

Sweeny79 said:

Why not, but what about the princess ?

virginie74 said:

I'm guessing she finds her own way out.

OK, then I'll go for gothic.

virginie74 said:

obviously the most "romantic" choice!

Sweeny79 said:

But power is great (what's the sountrack ?)

Can I change the progressive rock end ?