This painting is abs-olutely fabulous



By FELISSA BENJAMIN

How many situps does it take to get a sexy six-pack like the one Mariah Carey showed off during Macy's fireworks on Monday?
None!

Mariah's rep claims the songbird's new chiseled torso is the result of "eating right and working out 3 hours a day with her personal trainer," but I just scooted uptown to Faux Glow on Madison Ave. and got myself some insta-abs.

For $75, Faux Glow technicians will paint on abs with a spray gun for pain-free (and instant) chiseling, under the theory that shadows can create the same look as actual muscles. That's a little less than one session with a trainer - and a lot less than liposuction.

Jeani used a spray gun to shoot a stream of frigid color at my stomach, expertly creating contours meant to mimic the look of a real six-pack. Could this be the answer to the tiresome crunch? Well, at least for 7-10 days.

My formerly pale, pasty stomach was suddenly dark and toned - unlike the rest of my body. But Jeani kept spraying and the abs kept contouring.

Afterward, Jeani aimed a cold fan at my belly so the paint wouldn't run (no one wants a three-pack).

In the daylight (or any light, really) my "six-pack" looks more like smudges of dirt applied by an 18-wheeler. But from far away, and if you look quickly before blinking, my stomach is totally smokin' - if a little itchy.

BEFORE




AFTER


[Edited 7/11/05 6:56am]

It's weird I didn't even notice this detail on Mariah. Did she have paint-on abs for Live 8?

CinisterCee said:

She wore a dress, so probably not Mariah should've known better though. People really aren't that stupid.

meltwithu said:

That's some funny shit right there! Looks like fucking TIGER STRIPES! LOL!

HulkHogan said:

Why does Mariah keep doing dumb things?

meltwithu said:

That's some funny shit right there! Looks like fucking TIGER STRIPES! LOL!

VoicesCarry said:

I couldve done a better job than THAT! !! It doesnt even look real. They should've done it lighter

sirnozedevoidofunk said:

what do you expect for $75? that's like asking why do beyone's and janet's weaves looke better than Shalay-lays and Nee-Nee's around the corner--$$$$$
(she is awfully pale up top to be so orange at the torso)

beret1022 said:

I wish she'd stop though. Wearing that short and tight black dress with her tatas hanging out around those little kids at Live 8. Someone should've told her the point of Live 8 was not to display her T&A as usual, but for the sake of Africa's troubles.

add on
[Edited 7/11/05 10:22am]

sirnozedevoidofunk said:

what do you expect for $75? that's like asking why do beyone's and janet's weaves looke better than Shalay-lays and Nee-Nee's around the corner--$$$$$
(she is awfully pale up top to be so orange at the torso)

Actually, *Beyoncé's weaves look more like natural hair than alot of the chicken head's walking around with two-toned textured hair.
[Edited 7/11/05 13:31pm]

Scorpion said:

Yeah, like when you can see all her gross-ass netting exposed. Please.



Her natural hair looks just like that, I'm sure
[Edited 7/11/05 19:20pm]

Scorpion said:

Yeah, like when you can see all her gross-ass netting exposed. Please.



Her natural hair looks just like that, I'm sure
[Edited 7/11/05 19:20pm]

VoicesCarryFurther said:

VC is that you? r u now voicescarrygfurther? twink is confused


.
[Edited 7/11/05 20:58pm]

This reminds me of Janet in the Escapade video. Her face was so painted up to try and make it look thinner, she looked like a monster.

And lets not forget when Paula pulled that "Promise of a Thin Me" by shooting the video wide screen, then squashing it to regular TV dimensions.

This reminds me of Janet in the Escapade video. Her face was so painted up to try and make it look thinner, she looked like a monster.

And lets not forget when Paula pulled that "Promise of a Thin Me" by shooting the video wide screen, then squashing it to regular TV dimensions.

Tom said:

wasn't the song called "promise of a new day"?

Tom said:

ooooo! pictures PLEASE!

This reminds me of Janet in the Escapade video. Her face was so painted up to try and make it look thinner, she looked like a monster.

And lets not forget when Paula pulled that "Promise of a Thin Me" by shooting the video wide screen, then squashing it to regular TV dimensions.

Tom said:

It's said around this forum that every thread eventually becomes a thread about Madonna. The truth is that every thread eventually becomes about how fat a female celebrity is.