From launch.com

50 Cent - 'The Massacre'
(Wednesday March 16, 2005 12:54 PM )

Released on 07/05/04
Label: Aftermath


If nothing else, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson is a product of his times. He exists in a game where success is measured by a ratio of 99% marketing and 1% talent – and in the rap business it don’t get much better than nine bullet holes and a crib sheet for crack dealing. Throw in patronage from Dr Dre and Eminem and, as a record exec, you’d put Granny’s house on ten million sales at the very least.

And that’s pretty much what transpired. “Get Rich & Die Trying” was less a launch than a coronation. From a standing start, and courtesy of Dre’s killer soundtrack, Fiddy became just about the biggest, baddest rapper on the planet. That his lyrical skills were poor, at best, was irrelevant. What mattered was his reputation - and the reputation of those nine bullet holes went before him from his webpage to his album sleeves to his Reebok ads. Blam, blam, blam…

The follow-up was always going to be trickier. For a start, Fiddy’s now a multi-millionaire, and even if the business card does read ‘gangsta’ his hustling days are dust. So, what can a poor boy do? For “The Massacre”’s run-in he sidestepped this inconsistency by kicking off more beefs than Jose Mourinho. The single “Piggy Bank” ignites at least five – with Shyne, Jadakiss, Fat Joe, Nas and Kelis all dissed. This is something of a tactical masterstroke because, like milking those nine bullet holes, the headlines remain focussed on anything and everything but the music.

Which is pretty fortunate really, because “The Massacre” is a stunningly bad record. Musically adequate and vocally witless, it’s basically the dumbest action movie sequel ever made with Fiddy playing the role of "Black Schwarzenegger" on the implausibly buffed front cover. The cinematic theme is continued throughout the inner sleeve as we’re treated to a series of laughingly stylized poses designed to highlight every facet of his character. So, in addition to "Terminator Fiddy" (large guns feature prominently), there’s "Scarface Fiddy" (counting out the coke spoils, bitch at the window), "Fiddy Bond" (tuxedo, two bitches, .45’s), "Obi Wan Fiddy" (squatting, Buddha-style, in a rock pool) and, most amusing of all, "Emmanuelle Fiddy" (pouring a jug of milk over a girl’s chest).

The tendency is to treat the whole affair like a glorified “Itchy & Scratchy” cartoon, particularly on hearing the contents. Aside from an Eminem cameo on “Gatman and Robbin” (geddit?) and “Candy Shop”’s second-rate impersonation of “In Da Club”, the remainder is as subtle and as obvious as it’s titles (“Outta Control”, “Ski Mask Way”, “This Is 50”, “Gunz Come Out” etc, etc). Only “A Baltimore Love Thing” and “So Amazing” ever flicker out of the ordinary. Although lets not kid ourselves that “The Massacre” has anything to do with music or talent. 50’s nothing more than a vehicle to make various people (himself, Eminem, Dre, Aftermath Records) very rich indeed whatever the cost.

And that’s the sad thing. It works. 50 markets himself as white America’s worst nightmare – a hybrid of Mike Tyson and thug lover - and white America, happy to see it’s prejudices confirmed, buys his records by the glockload. Simple as. Like Eminem, he’s the rapper George Bush would want you to like. Why the rest of us would want to buy into his clichés of race, rap, violence and wilful stupidity is a wider question and probably one with fairly unpalatable answers.

But at the very least this is a desperately average album, albeit one that will sell wherever retards roam. (Ouch!)

2/10 by Adam Webb
[Edited 3/17/05 20:38pm]

Interesting article! How long do u think he’ll be around? Usually when I’m in my car I listen 2 the sports stations, but 2 day I chose 2 check out the local radio stations. Trust me they played 50 ALL DAY on different radio stations. Every time I heard his voice I would play another station and his damn music would be playing, I mean all day they played 50. It’s really sad what music has turned in2. Believe me if I had a CD player in my car, I wouldn’t have 2 deal with this type of madness. I can’t stand the brother

VoicesCarry said:

So true...so very very true.

pennylover said:

If it's not him, it will be the next one off the assembly line. The charts are so depressing these days.

I didn't realize how deep Launch.com was! They seem to have hit the nail on the head from wht I've heard on the album.

I'm trying to find the lyrics to Nas' slammin' 50....


I've heard JadaKiss and Fat Joe are about tired of fiddy also...



he makes me ill....

I wonder who they are paying off at RollingStone to keep giving his albums glowing reviews...

Tom said:

It's probably their guilt for not understanding why it sells so well.

My friend has the new 50 Cent CD and I heard about 5 or 6 cuts from it, including Piggy Bank. I'm glad my boy had it because it confirmed to me what I already knew: it sucked ass. In fact we talked though 2 of the songs and didn't even realize it. That review was so dead on it. Too bad that there are a whole lot of retards roaming aroung, including my friend for buying that shit.

I guess he is white America's worst nightmare! But apparently not for the reasons most mainstream media people assume he is. When Public Ememy, Ice-T and N.W.A. busted out raps about violence, corrupt cops and killing gangbangers, they were representing what real life on the streets was for them at that time. With 50 Cent, his thuggish persona is wielded over the heads of America as a marketing device to sell more product. Did anyone notice that 50 Cent had his major beef with the Game just days prior to the release of his new album, and that they conveniently ended their feud just as they announced his first week sales at over 1,000,000 albums? If anything, this makes him a poseur, or as he once called Ja Rule, a "Wanksta".