from Minneapolis' "The Onion" newspaper.

WASHINGTON DC

As the nation approaches the one year anniversary of the Super Bowl XXXVIII tragedy an FCC study shows that millions of children were severely traumatized by the exposure to a partially nude female breast during the Feb. 1 2004 halftime show.
"No one who has lived through that day is likely to forget the horror" said a noted child therapist Dr. Eli Wasserbaum, "but it was especially hard on the children".

"By the time CBS cut to an aerial view of the stadium the damamge was done" said Wasserbaum, who has worked extensively with orphaned and amputeechildren in Third World war zones. "I've found that children can be amazingly resilient..this event is likely to haunt them for the rest of their lives". According tot he 500 page report, 90% of the children who saw the show said they were "confused and afraid".
"Mommy had dirty chest bumps" said a 5 year old boy quoted in one of the thousands of case studies compiled by the FCC. "She likes the bad lady on TV. I'm afraid mommy will take her shirt off and scare everyone. I hate Mommy."
Girls were traumatized as welloften expressing apprehensions about sexual development. According to Wasserbaum one 8-year oldgirl told her parent she did not want to get 'evil breats'.

...

Wasserbaum added that children who saw the televised breast in Europe, Australia and various other nations throughout the world were somehow unaffected by the sight.

This is a report according to The Onion
[Edited 2/6/05 9:33am]

Will yall shut about that damn Superbowl!Damn it was a damn year ago stop bitching about it!

I love the Onion but it's not a Minneapolis newspaper. It used to be based out of Madison Wisconsin and has since moved to New York.

ABeautifulOne said:

You obviously don't have much of a sense of humor.

No I'm just sick of people bitching about Jan's tit we've all seen one tit as a child

ABeautifulOne said:

Satire. Look it up.

They're a damn lie, people always trying to use their children when in reality they're the sick pups. I love when this stuff happens because people's hipocracies just comes to the forefront.

LQ

ABeautifulOne said:

You didn't see it. It was a joke, but not as big a joke as the overraction! I don't think I can watch the Superbowl this year. I'm not into football and only made it a point to watch to see Janet. Now this year the news is going to be all about "Nicer, more polite Superbowl"...."No Wardrobe Malfuctions". The media is so predictable in how they will report on stuff, it's absurd!

Man, if I had been 16 when that Super Bowl show aired.....whew, that woulda been a dream come true!!!

It's 2005 and this society is still hung up over a female breast. How sexually disturbed and backwards are we.

lilgish said:

ITS A JOKE PEOPLE

ITS A JOKE 2 ALL THE DUMBASSES WHO SAID THAT IT "harmed their children".

Its the one year ANNIVERSARY!

The onion might be a satire, but there's people out there who are really tramatized when they see a breast or any form of the nude body.

lilgish said:

mmm Like White televangelist, wait...
they love breast...
[Edited 2/3/05 20:57pm]

lilgish said:

it's obvious that it was planned oh well... first time i've seen a breast in years. love it love it love it... damn religous right

how does Europe deal with all the sex?

wwell, im a teenager and lemme tell ya, i havent been able to sleep since it happened. i mean, its not really a bad thing, but evertime i get it bed i just pops into my head...

Yeah, it pops into my head from time to time during all of those inappropriate moments...especially when I'm alone in bed

Just makes you wonder which kids were breastfed.

I bet that's not all that pops.

I think Janet should capitalize on the furor in her next video. She could pay homage to Josephine Baker in her next video. Just work the bananas and LET THE TITTIES SWING FREELY. Of course it would be banned, just like Justify My Love during the first Bush reign. So she'd have to sell it and drag the millions back home.

You know what's so ironic about that whole situation? It's the topics nobody in regards to the halftime show last year.


1. Why is it referred to as the "Janet Jackson" incident? Where's Justin Timberlake's name? Where's MTV- produced?

2. The clip of the nipple revealed was no longer than 1.6 seconds.

3. Yet, the media and the internet kept showing/looping the footage over and over, sometimes, no most of the time, playing it in slow motion.

4 Why wasn't the issue, a man ripping off a part of a woman's dress discussed?

IMO, that's was the most offensive part of the matter.

I blame everbody, MTV, Justin Timbelake, Janet Jackson, CBS, Viacom for lying to the people, that's wasn't an accident, they did know about it. It insults my intelligence to think otherwise, but the media put all the blame on the woman and let the man/men slide. Janet Jackson is guilty only for having the breast, so she didn't "expose" it.

Yet, it was Timberlake's song, performance, lyrics, and he makes a apology, and wins a Grammy. His name never come up in the discussion

That's more distrubing that seeing a nipple

Only in America can we see such shit. Poor little children afraid of a breast...

Thank good people here in europe don't have these strange taboos

paisleypark4 said:

sounds like American children are a bunch of babies

WhamBamGlamSlam said:

I see somebody loves The Josephine Baker Story on HBO.I bet you rewind that scene over and over too

The Onion

Even funnier then the story is the people on this thread who don't realize it's a fake

lovemachine said:

RIGHT??!!

lovemachine said:

This is the first post of yours that I've ever agreed with.

lilgish said:

aHHHHH THE HORROR!!!

Moonwalkbjrain said:

Yet all they have 2 do is watch BET Uncut and they will see titties gigglin, ass poundin and let me fuck dat pussy songs for a whole entire hour

paisleypark4 said: