This was just forwarded to me from Brit's web site.


Honeymoon Poem

A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.

I remember it well, as she was smilin'
She said it was called Turtle Island.

I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.

We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.

As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.

A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!

Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.

Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.

Friendly "hellos" and never goodbyes
When you're having fun, oh, how time flies!

As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!

~ Britney

Gives this a run for it's money:

There's a goat in my ass
Feeding mainly on grass
Some say he was stolen
But he feeds on my colon

--Charles Sheen

that's just TOO much!!!

andyman91 said:

you're cracking me up!

Anxiety said:

Bravo! What a master piece. I never knew Britney had such a way with words.

I tried reading this poem to my mom and first she said: "britney spears didn't write this, she can't even read!"

and then 1/4 through the poem she said:"STOP READING THIS! IT'S INSIPID! I'M GETTING A HEADACHE ON THAT SIDE OF MY HEAD! KINDERGARTENERS WRITE BETTER THAN THIS! IT'S INSIPID! I'VE HAD A LONG DAY AND I CAN'T STAND TO HEAR THIS CRAP!"


i just dissloved into laughter.

and then she said that they just finished counting the votes in NM for the presidental election.

Anxiety said:

Sounds like a goddamn Hallmark Card! She forgot a few lines...

We partied so hard and smoked a lot of pot
Did so much Coke, I woke up in snot!

Anxiety said:

That's the scariest part of your post.

The Road Less Traveled
by Britney Spears


I bought a new blouse today
I bought a blue one

Because everyone wears the red
And I wanted to be a little different

Then I called my true love's name
We got high and 69ed for a while

And sometimes like people die?
And that's really sad.

Anxiety said:

you are KILLIN me here!

Anxiety said:

Hard for her to resist copying Janet, isn't it?

Anxiety said:

Holy shit that's funny!

Anxiety said:

Based on recent photographs of Ms. Spears I have my doubts about the shower part.

These days she looks like she just gets hosed down once a week out back behind the barn.

Anxiety said:

TimCalhoun said:

With what?

Anxiety said:

I seriously can't stop laughing at this

Anxiety said:

from britneyspears.com:

BRITNEY'S LETTER TO FANS: NOVEMBER 8, 2004

Dear Fans,

I'm just getting back from my honeymoon and it was absolutely breathtaking! This is the happiest I've ever been in my life. Unfortunately, we couldn't take our honeymoon right after the wedding because of the closing on our new house. We are just settling into our new home and it is coming together perfectly. I'm redecorating a lot of things because when we decide to start a family, everything in it needs to be perfecto! I love decorating; it's very therapeutic for me. I believe your house is a reflection of yourself, so I want everything in mine to be exquisite.

My new hobby is experimenting with all different types of art lessons. It's always been a passion of mine. Maybe I'll even do my sister's make-up next year for big events. Jamie Lynn is turning into such a beautiful little lady. Her new show is coming out soon and I am sooo proud of her. It's called Zoey 101 and it will be on Nickelodeon in January. DON'T MISS IT!

I haven't really thought a lot about work lately. What better time for a greatest hits album to come out? I can actually enjoy & reflect on my success at this point in my life. I may be disappointing some fans out there, but I don't think I'll do another tour for a couple of years. My priorities in life have changed. I am having fun again reading all the magazines that I enjoy (mainly because I am not on them). At this point and time, what I want is not my face on every cover, but someone else's instead. I really want to help other people achieve their dreams and possibly even develop new artists. Everything is in the very beginning stages and it feels great to just think about different opportunities that I am interested in pursuing.

The Holiday's are right around the corner and I can't wait to have my own Christmas tree in my very own house. As far as New Year's plans, I really wanted to have a huge party for all our friends and relatives who were unable to be at our wedding, due to the last minute surprise element, but I think we might have to wait until after the house is completely finished.

Well, I've got to go. My dog, Lacy, just got fixed and she's not acting like herself! I'm going to have Shabby Chic re-cover her bed and maybe that will lift her spirits!

Love, B

PS ~ Regarding last week's letter: I'm not the type of person to put blame on other people, but I do feel that some things which were done for me were not always in my best interests. Looking back, I feel now that on my 4th album "less is more" should have been the way to go. As for me quitting the business for good, that is kind of harsh. As I said earlier, my priorities have changed and I am going to be focusing on three main areas of my life for the immediate future. Myself, my husband, Kevin and starting a family. When I really come back, things will be totally different. Until then, there are some things close to me that you might be interested in seeing. For one, you will be able to get a taste of my fine hubby on a few covers; Jamie Lynn has her show coming out and of course, the tabloid's weekly analysis of my "letter of truth". Hopefully, they won't be trying to decipher that one for much longer! I can't wait to read what they say this week. He He! Well, now I've really got to go!

Love ya,

B