Apparently this is or will be in an upcoming issue of GQ...

"Dear Britney Spears,

Sit down, honey. We gotta talk.

Wanna Diet Mountain Dew and a piece of watermelon Bubblicious? Cheddar
Ruffles and a Kool? Sure. Knock yourself out.

What happened, Britney? Once, you were the pubescent light of our lives, the
lip-synching fire of our loins. Talentwise, we never confused you with Maria
Callas, or even Maria Conchita Alonso, but you were sexy, precocious, and
ambitious: Madonna meets JonBenét. You made a couple of good songs-we really
liked "I'm a Slave 4 U," we didn't care what anyone said-and you were
America's ranking pop princess. Britney versus Christina? Britney versus
Christina was like Reagan versus Mondale.

But now we're worried.

Your reputation's plunging faster than Courtney Love's blood sugar. Your
latest album was a disappointment. You canceled your summer tour because of
a bum knee.

Your fifty-five-hour ex-husband squealed to the tabloids about hot Britney
sex. While Christina was catwalking DSquared in Milan, you were catwalking
Cinnabons in Santa Monica. And you're doing what you always do when you're
feelin' down: You're getting married.

You look sad, honey. We saw photos of you and your mom having a run-in with
the paparazzi at a pet shop. You cried and your mascara ran so much you
looked like Tammy Faye Baker watching Terms of Endearment. Michael Moore
filleted you in Fahrenheit 9/11, showing you saying, "Honestly, I think we
should just trust our president in every decision that he makes." Good
grief, Britney. Thinking like that got Monica Lewinsky a Montecristo between
the thighs.

You know how bad it's gotten, Britney? Here's who's hotter than you:
Hoobastank.

And getting married isn't going to solve anything. We're sure this Kevin
Federline is a sweet young man with a bright, bright future, but look at
him. Baggy clothes, tilted baseball cap, permanent scowl-the George Clooney
of the food court. We won't even mention that K-Fed's already a babydaddy or
that he left his babymama for you with another baby on the way.

We'll let Jerry Springer sort that babydrama out. (Oh, and Kevin, Vanilla
Ice called-he wants his sideburns back.)

To think we had all freaked out about Fred Durst....

We know what you're thinking. We know you are only 22 and you're entitled to
make a 22-year-old's mistakes. But when we were 22, our mistakes usually
involved drinking Jack Daniel's after pineapple pizza.

But this is GQ. We know how to give advice, and less than 75 percent of it
is about ties. (Halfway down the belt buckle, K-Fed, in case you're
wondering.) Here are some tips to get that career of yours back on track.

1. FOCUS ON MUSIC. Like your idol, Madonna, you've never done so well when
you've branched out into other areas. That New York restaurant, Nyla? We ate
there. Ducasse meets Denny's. Your movie, Crossroads? The best we can say is
that it was no Kangaroo Jack.

2. REINVENT THYSELF. Now, Madonna knew about this one. No one thinks you
should become, say, a singer, but it may not be a bad idea to recast your
musical image. Maybe ditch the dance pop for acid rock, country, or crunk.
You don't even have to be convincing. Look at Ashlee Simpson-she's now a
punk rocker. Ashlee Simpson's about as punk-rock as Lynne Cheney's underwear
drawer.

3. MAKEOVER! You knew this one was coming. Britney, we love ya, but
sometimes you dress like one of those fine ladies we see on Cops, getting
arrested for smoking methamphetamine in the 7-Eleven parking lot.

4. A NEW BOY. We know it's in poor taste, but we can't resist. Here's just a
quick rundown of eligible bachelors we think may be good for you: Ben
Affleck; Mike Piazza; Ralph Nader; Nathan Lane; that Senate-candidate guy in
Chicago who blew it because of the sex clubs; John Stamos; David Lee Roth;
David Gest; and our assistant editor Kevin-his parents have a Mercedes and
let him drive it on weekends.

Britney, we want you to be happy. No one wants to see you train-wreck your
career and become the next Liz Taylor. (Okay, maybe E! True Hollywood Story
and Us Weekly wouldn't mind.) We want you to rediscover that joy you had as
a schoolgirl in kneesocks, singing "Hit me baby, one more time," and
discover there is life after teen pop.

After all, look who's on the cover.

With love,

GQ

P.S. Yes, you can have one more piece of Bubblicious."

That's good.

That is GOOD, but the problem is its the truth, every little word

They aren't actually taking her seriously are they???

purplegypsy said:

One more thing...Justin Timberlake is on the cover of the same issue and it says "Birth of an Icon"

All of this may be true but personally I would like to see the no-talent skank just disappear. She has nothing to offer the music world. If we want T&A, we can get plenty of that from others that can sing live (whether they're good or bad) and don't have to lip-sync everything.

Countdown 2 Sassybritches....

dayuuuuum! thats soo funny! but soo sad cuz every friggin word is true!

POOK said:

it was probably written before she had the second kid...

purplegypsy said:

No. He did leave her before the babay was born

POOK said:

HE ALL SHE EVER HAVE AND NOW SHE WANT TO DIE?

btw, I read that article in the current issue of GQ with Justin Timberlake on the front.

Britney is so overhated right now, I thought it was in bad taste. Especially the part about "look at Ashlee Simpson" like she is a great example of anything.

Janfriend said:

I was referring to "ANother one on the way" comment...the baby was born.

Too funny!

That article is so on point. Britney is the poster child for everything wrong in pop music. I wish she would just go away somewhere.

CinisterCee said:

YOU SILLY

I think Britney should be taken seriously as an artist just like GQ should be taken seriously as journalism. This is what they reduce themselves to?

purplegypsy said:

I don't know how much more of this I can take!! Why the fuck is everyone jumping on his arse! Is it all the money behind him? Or do rich white guys want truly white michael jackson this much

rainman1985 said:

WANTING MJ? What does THAT have to do with being called an icon?

rainman1985 said:

I really wonder what is it that Justin can do, and Britney cant? What the fuck is the difference?

Well to be somewhat fair Justin put out a better album then britney ever has. Why he's getting the "legit" pass is up for debat. Promotion maybe? Exceeded expectations? Or is it that he's sooo gosh-darn cute?

CynicKill said:

He's dating Cameron DIaz. She's engaged to what appears to be white trash.

purplegypsy said:

Sorry missed out a few words, Maybe some people want their own 'icon' so they don't have to acknowledge Mj anymore. It's not really a serious comment.

rainman1985 said:

OK ok....lol. i was sorta confused at first!