...The year is 1992, Prince or Patrick as he prefers to be called, has done so many careers-Puppeteer, rendition cologne street seller, High heel shoe repairer and NBA jockstrap washer to name a few but now Mr Nelson slowly looks up at the jury and they stare back at him.. right in the eye with disgust.
It's his third offence and under the new laws- 3 offences mean life.
"Do U have anything to say before I past sentence" roars the judge.
"Yeah" Patrick quietly replies, "just wanna say that In all my dreams I never wanted to cause any sorrow but I got 2 sides and they both friends your honour"
"I mean dig if U will the picture of the chaos and disorder ruling my world today and the doubts of your conviction will follow where you go your honour"
Patrick Nelson is now in tears "Your honour..If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind then all this aint real man, it's just Poplife, I mean we all got a space 2 fill but when we can't seem to make up our minds I think we'd better close em' and just put it down to being a sign of the times"
The judge and jury are confused, all around U can here whispers of "what the fuck did he just say and Ehh?"
Judge Jerome Benton looks at Patrick and his lawyer Morris
"Prince Rogers Nelson" he exclaims
"I sentence you to life imprisonment with no parole for the continued lewid acts U have performed on Flipster the show dolphin at Minnesotta water park"

Patrick shows no remorse as he is lead away and shouts "I ONLY CAME ON THE BACK OF A DOLPHIN SO JUST LISTEN TO ME MEN-IT LET ME BE IT'S FRIEND, IT LET ME PUT IT IN. U CAN CUT OFF ALL MY RIGHTS BUT 2 UR WAYS I WILL NOT BEND, ILL DIE B4 I LET U TELL ME WHERE MY COME SHOULD SWIM AND WHEN I BREAK OUT OF JAIL I'LL FUCK ANOTHER DOLPHIN...DA DA DA DA DUH DUH DUH DUH...

FRAUD KINGPIN

A Bootlegger

Perhaps he would shoplift New Romantic clothes from charity shops and make his own clothes which he would then wear on armed robbery sprees at the Catain Crunch factory...

dnaplaya said:

or better yet

A computer hacker intent on destroying all TT D'arby fan sites-4 no reason, just 4 the fun of it.

A Jehovah Witness nut who forms the MGMUA (Minneapolis God Made U Alliance), takes over a derilict building and forces his flock to drink magheritas, take exstacy and eat squirrel meat...then tells everyone Im the only one who can sleep with U cos I am the continental.

He would have been releasing albums called "One Man Jam"
since the late 1980's.

"if a man is guilty for all that goes on in his mind, then give Prince the electric chair for all his future crimes, oh" or " a brotha like ya just don't care!" anywho . . . i think he would definately be playin street ball for $$$.

He'd probably be a Thief in the Temple


(yeah I know it's corny but no one else said it!)

LonghairedFaggot said:

Nobody steals from the Temple, it is a place of God.

He would be a proof reader for children's books.

His crime: The destruction of the next generation's ability to construct a grammatically correct sentence with proper spelling.

The evidence: "When 2 r in love, they bcome all things 2 each other and no longer need CONtracts btween them. This is written in the anals of my purple mind."

The sentence: All of his unpublished intellectual property would be subjected to spell and grammar check.

He'd be a butcher's dog

how old was mayte when they hooked up?

dnaplaya said:

Never!

He'd have sex with a 16 (underaged) year old girl.

GermanHottie1981 said:

in what country? in some country 16 is considered legal

Prince would be the criminal mastermind behind the new smart and scruffy look movement currently swamping the u.k

Prince would be a pimp. ok, ok, he is a pimp...

According to extra loveable it would be rape.

harboring a known terrorist

Serial rapist.

stealin lil kid's cameras

oh what he would commit?

i thought what he did do...

DoctorNickRiviera said:

Minnesota, USA.