Courtesy of Nigel Swan, swipped from amp:


09:00am: Wakeup. Check mirror, apply makeup.

09:01am: Get out of bed, decide to leave Larry sleeping.

09:02am: Check mirror, apply makeup.

09:04am: Insert anal pad to stop bleeding.

09:05am: Spend 30 minutes cussing in the bathroom with the door
closed. Apply makeup.

09:06am: Ten minutes trying to remove pube from back of throat.
Nearly vomit whilst trying to "bring it up".

09:07am: Check bald spot. Feel depressed. Reach for spare strands
and apply as prescribed.

09:08am: First tune of the day pops into head. Must check it with
Larry first.

09:15am: Breakfast - two teaspoons of sawdust and water.

09:30am: Check mirror, apply makeup.

09:45am: Drive to recording studio.

10:00am: Kick out local band recording in Studio A for no good reason,
the cunts.

10:30am: Speak to legal team - tell them they are cunts (Larry not in
yet) and to get that fucking fansite shut down.

10:45am: Go into Studio A, try to recover former greatness, fail.

10:59am: Go to Vault and reach for those Revolution tapes.

11:05am: Steal more ideas from those lesbian cunts. Change one note
of each tune found on tape - apply usual all encompassing writing
credit.

11:10am: Larry arrives. Lube Larry up and slip it to him.

11:15am: Carry on recording Darling Larry. Agree to Larry's request
to change "And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind" to
"And I could not resist when I saw little Larry's behind".

11:45am: Speak to webmaster. Tell him the website is shit. Ignore
his (rather valid) point that it was all your idea.

12:00pm: Lunch with\in Larry.

01:00pm: Check bald spot. Feel depressed. Apply strands from desk
drawer.

02:00pm: Webmaster is back crying over earlier argument. Send him out
with a comforting word. Ring security to smash the cunt's face in
later.

02:30pm: Visit Doctors to discuss recent bouts of anal bleeding.

03:00pm: Go door knocking with Larry. Give up after one house.
Decide back door knocking with Larry is preferable.

04:00pm: Write next movie script. A fucking masterpiece.

04:01pm: Finish movie script. Pass to Larry for approval.

04:10pm: Check mirror, apply makeup.

04:15pm: Change anal pad, bleeding is getting worse.

04:30pm: Look through list of song title\lyric changes that Larry has
suggested. When Larry Cries and No transplants for sale, catch your
eye.

05:00pm: Log on to Internet. Check those pesky fan sites. Get
destracted by popup add promising riches beyond your wildest dreams.
Visit site.

06:00pm: Go home. Security guard at gate smiles in a friendly manner.

07:00pm: Arrange to have security guard beaten to within an inch of
his life.

08:00pm: Eat with\in Larry.

09:00pm: Larry in bed so decide to watch some old vids of performances
from the 80s. Spend the next two hours crying at how great the guy on
telly is. Where the fuck did it all go wrong.

11:00pm: Go to bed and cuddle up with Larry, Hoping for the millionth
time that a half fucking decent song will come to you in the night,
mindful of the fact that the only thing likely to come to you during
the night is Larry's love truncheon.

That is disgusting...

love truncheon? interesting...

Dear God! :OMFG:

What a wee life the wee laddie lives he does!

'dre

Wrong forum. Reported.

somebody loves larry a lot...and it ain't mr. nelson.

2the9s said:

i second that motion. reported.

2the9s said:

DreZone said:

Is that Vanessa Felps?...you sick sick man

AaronUniversal said:

Why?

liberation said:

amen!!! ain't I great!!!

'dre

Natsume said:

co-fuckin'-sign!!!

'dre

but seriously, man...anybody who's this obsessed with larry needs some help. really.

what if you replace all the bits with 'larry' in it with 'nigel'...? :wickedevilDansagrin:



'nigel = biggest. fan. ev-er.' edit
[This message was edited Mon Oct 20 17:13:36 PDT 2003 by Handclapsfingasnapz]

lib you are one sick puppy, baby your a trip and 1/2 but I don"t care,

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Nigel is cool and all, but I don't understand why lib thinks we're dying to read these comedy gems from him. If I wanted to read it, I'd be at AMP.

AaronUniversal said:

hmmm, good point...um, libbz-dahling, why you cuttin & pastin all of nigel's love letters here at the org? nevermind they're in the wrong forum, but why all the cuttin and pastin over the past couple days?

i'm curious.

interactiveplayer said:

Me?
Why?
What did i do?

AaronUniversal said:

Not everyone has access to amp, and it's kinda funny.
No other reason.

I think lib is Nigel!

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

I have only posted two "love letters", don't get a huffy about it.

Why are they in the wrong forum?

Natsume said:

I thought you went to bed?

liberation said:

Oh my, Dansa wasn't getting huffy in the slightest! Chill, dude...

2the9s said:

I want 9s to tell me a bedtime story first!

Natsume said:

Ummm that is me, knucklehead...

2the9s said:

OHMYGOD! I HATE YOU!

Lleena!!!

Natsume said:

i just thought Nigel's post was funny is all. Nothing deeper then that.

liberation said:

You know what they say - one man's garbage is another man's garbage. Or something like that.

liberation said:

we have this forum called Prince: Music & More, see...

People actually find this amusing?