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Thread started 10/31/02 11:05am

suomynona

Prince guest stars on The Simpsons?

again, i did not write this... it was written in august of 1998 by a friend...
if you enjoy this story of his, you might enjoy these also:

Principal Skinner over intercom: Children this week we will be havin a concert by the artist in the auditorium. So in honor of artist comin were goin to have muzak versions played in the hall all week long. (kids cheer Class bell rings)

(Muzak version of jugghead starts)

Skinner: (workin at his desk singin along) "gettin funky in the house tonight doin the jugghead get stupid get stupid"

(Cut to scene of milhouse and bart in halls)

Milhouse: hey Bart are u a big fan of the artist?

Bart: am i ever! whats the song you like?

MIlhouse: Ohh I like em all

Lisa: i think its great the artist is showin his appreciation to schools by comin all the way to springfield. Maybe there is hope for this world..and maybe.. trailin off

Homer: are you excited about seein the artist? I finally get to see wendy and lisa Live. mmm Lisa... woo hoo!

Moe: Homer, I hate to break this to you the revolution broke up.

Homer: Doh ..so whats it callled now?

Moe: the new power generation members include ahhh Kirky J, Rhonda Smith, Morris Hayes, Rev Scott, marva king and other extended NPG family members for tour purposes

Homer: wow moe you know so much about the artist U must be a really big fan

Moe: actually homer I think hes a fruit my niece is crazy about him but as for me I dont go for that moonwraps eye liner high heeled pancaked make up fruit. I dont like any artist who swings on the fruit tree if you know what i mean. No homer ill stick with a all american boy ..George Michael

Homer: But Moe George michael is gay

Moe: geez Homer you want to ruin my idols for me..This is such a tragedy. Oh well at least I have good ol Elton John

Homer: But hes gay 2

Moe: jim J bullock?

Homer: gay

Moe: was Freddie Mercury?

Homer: gay

Moe: not abraham lincoln??!?!?

Homer: very Gay

Moe: geez the whole world is goin gay on me

Barney: I dont mind gay people jus as long as they dont try to hit on me. Im very sophisticated

Moe: barn just drink your beer and kill that liver of your to make money for me

Barney: Ok moooeee uhh i feel dizzy i think im gonna have another blackout

Moe: thats nice barn you know the rules blackouts outside on da street

(Barney walks outside and passes out on street)

Marge: Are u takin the children to this prince show?

Homer: Marge..its not prince its the artist formerly known as prince

Marge: whats the difference he still has prince in his name when u refer to him

Homer: Jus because a certain person changes their name to somethin unprounceable does not give u the right to criticize.It was for spiritual reasons besides u objected to my name change.

Marge: U wanted to be named after that green alien on the flinstones kazoo

Homer: Hee hee Kazoo. hes so funny Fred never even knew what Kazoo would do next (flash in mind to homer lookin like kazoo poppin up near Mr burns "im turning u into a snake how slithery u are now! hee hee"turns Burns into snake)

Homer: Marge u are always in the way of my dreams Ill never forgive u

Marge: Homie were havin porkchops tonite

Homer: woo hoo u r forgiven!

Bart: Hey dad U think Ill meet prince?

Homer: its the artist formerly known as prince BOY!!

Bart: ack

Marge: homer stop that!

Homer: Sorry marge its just I know what its like ..to be ridiculed for thinkin of havin ur name changed

Bart: So dad..u think ill meet the artist?

Homer: SOn a few years ago I got to meet the lead singer from katchagogo

Bart: HUh?? who??

Homer: they were a magical band from the 80's with outrageous hair very deep music Ill never forget that day

(flashback to homer meetin leader of katchagogo at burger king)

katachagoo guy: That will be 365 dollars for the 60 jumbo meals

Homer: Hey I know you!! Your that guy in katachagogo!! starts singin too shy eye to eye hush hush> Hee hee Can I touch your hair ...its so big and zany

Katchagogo guy: ok but i really have to start flippin these burgers

Homer: (reaches over and spills somethin on the stove which makes a giant explosion on katchachagogos hair)

Katchagogo guy: ahhh my hair its on fire!! (jus as this happens a the katchagogo song comes on the burger king speakers in muzak form)

Homer: heyyy Its your song! (starts dancin on the table singin "too shy eye to eye hush hussshhh" sequence ends with katchagogo guy runnin outside screamin with homer still dancin to the song)

Homer: Maybe son if your lucky u can have a similar experience with the artist

Bart: Uhhh ok dad

Marge: Dont mind your father hes a little little out the box if u know what i mean

Lisa: Mom do you think the artist will let me on stage to play?

Marge: anythin is possible lisa jus look at me n ur father

Homer: (playin with porkchops)

Lisa: I was lookin for some words of encouragement sadly the tables have turned and i have realized my fate

Homer: Yesss lisa someday u will be underachievers like us

(Cuts to scene of auditorium with High school band playin instrumental version of "Head")

Skinner: and that song is a catchy tune called...Umm Head

Rev Lovejoy: (in seat) Dear lord have mercy on us all

Skinner: Movin right along is the main attraction tonight the artist and the npg

Chief Wigham: Not now (Im about to lay phat claims to the new power booty)

Skinner: Please welcome them

prince: Thank u springfield U know i decided to play here tonight cuz i like the quaint town atmosphere and the good hospitality Id like to talk about god if u would let me...

Rev lovejoy: Somebody is listeniiin to mee Thank u goddd

prince: What is the truth? Is the truth Upn programmin really sucks? Yes but its so much more. you see Jesus wasnt killed on a cross rather a stake Its a lie

(audience gasps)

rev Lovejoy: Dear lord why cant lightning strike indoors..

Flanders: Close ur ears children!! This is blasphemy upon god

prince: you see I know alot about spirituality take ur advice from somebody whos a multimillonaire and sellin merchandise

Lisa: mom this reminds me of the QVC channel with Religious channel overtones

Marge: Mmmm

prince: Id like to do a song for you ...called WAR

Homer: Yesss I love EDWIN STARR!!

prince: 1 2 3 ... starts song>

Apu: DIS is not purple rain I did not come to hear dis crap

Willie: Achhh I thought he was gonna play a wee scottish bagpipe traditional battle song.

Ralph: Daddy this scares me

Wigham: Dont worry boy after this ..will go see andy willams in Branson

Ralph: YAY!

prince: 1 2 1 2 the evolution ...

Reverend Lovejoy: Dear lord have mercy on usss all

prince: Peace n be wild good nite

Homer: I gotta meet the artist ...Come on Boy ...

Bodyguard: where are u goin

Homer: I know the artist let me thru personal friend

Bodyguard: Ok tubby what is the artists fav dish?

Homer: porkchops?

Bodyguard: Wrong answer! The artist is a vegan

Homer: he sure sings alot about sex are u sure?

Bodyguard: thats Virgin! you idiot!

Homer: DOH!

(Bodyguard ruffs up homer)

prince: (opens door) What is this racket? Im tryin to be at one with myself

Homer: Thats the artist

Homer: U know prince DOHhhh I mean artist me and u are alot alike

prince: oh really how so

Homer: well of course I dont have alot money and im bald and fat and ur short and thin But underneath the surface..

prince: im not seein much of a connection

Homer: Well I wanted to change my name too

prince: Really to what?

Homer: Kazoo

prince: Who???

Homer: Hes that green alien on Flinstones..who has powers

prince: Ohhh Ok I guess. Read the watchtower?

Homer: No but i do like TV guide ...They had this one feature on Bob Saget hee hee

prince: I suggest you read it for the truth

(Lisa walks by)

Lisa: The truth? that you are..40 years old and has lost basis with reality feedin us propaganda jus becuz you cant handle conflictin opinions

Homer: ah lisa dont make the artist mad

prince: Reality? you're a little girl Im number 1 at the bank!

Lisa: What does that mean

prince: It means. (thinks for a sec)... Im number 1 at the bank!!

Lisa: you should be ashamed of yourself brasggin about your wealth when nobody really cares. When will we as people learn the importance is not money its ...the love of havin Life and decency enough to help others.

prince: yea i can dig that But Im still number 1 at the bank!!

Bart: youuu channnged man you used to be about music then you went QVC home shopper mode on us.

prince: IM outta this place yall dont know what the NPG is about didnt even buy a jersey n chit (jets out)

(Later at moes bar)

Homer: Moe I need some serious Strong beer tonight

Moe: Why is that homer?

Homer: i jus found out the truth

Moe: whats that

Homer: the artist is a self conceited person who tours and peddles merchandise for money

Moe: LIke I always say Homer "Its allabout the benjamins"

Homer: I guess... (whinin) But i didnt even get a moonwrap

(prince walks in with entourage)

prince: Bartender Ill have a scotch on the rocks..

Moe: Read da sign sign says "We dont serve no fruits"

Homer: be careful Moe hes a powerful ego driven entertainer who will do anythin to get his way and hes a vegan!!

Moe: A vegan? U dont eat meat?? hahaha ohh that was good

prince: You cant laugh at me im the artist!!

Moe: Listen dont take this the wrong way but ahhh everybody laughs at you Oprah? hahaa Smooth move givin us some melodramatic shit for your ego (starts to pretend to cry) Im short and nobody loves me...Wahhh

prince: Stop that I dont have anyone defy me!!

Moe: Listen Elf..this is my bar..and if u dont get out im gonna...kick your butt out

prince: Im not leavin til I get a hit (grabs barneys drink)

Moe: you shouldnt have done that never grab a boozehounds drink!

Barney: Stupid ELLLFFF (picks up prince over his head)

prince: help put me down! Stupid Drunk mofo!

Moe: Barn take care of this scum Hes not welcome in here free round of drinks if u do

Barn: Wowww Okeee (throws prince thru window)

prince: Ahhh u people dont have love4onnneeeaaannnooo... (trails off as hes thrown outta bar)

Homer: Ive learned somethin tonight ..

Moe: That celebrities are stuck up primadonnas?

Homer: yes but ...u dont need friends who are superstars all u need are bartenders and alcoholics who find the meanin of life in a bottle ...

Moe: homer stoppp ur bringin a tear to my eye but aint that the truth ain t that the truth

(credits roll)
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Reply #1 posted 10/31/02 11:27am

Saffireseven

Thank You but,when did this air ?? Too bad I couldn't have seen that myself.
"We all got a space to fill"
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Reply #2 posted 10/31/02 1:48pm

jtgillia

avatar

It's a fake, you can tell by how contrived it sounds and the lack of Simpsons-level joking. And no Simpson's script would ever revolve around a single celebrity completely like that.
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Reply #3 posted 10/31/02 1:49pm

jtgillia

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Although that Triumph the insult dog/Prince parody was actually quite funny!
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Reply #4 posted 10/31/02 2:27pm

PlastikLuvAffa
ir

just think...if this were tooled around a bit, this would be a pretty decent episode...mr. groening, hello? evillol
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Reply #5 posted 10/31/02 3:35pm

Persian

This is very good. BTW whoever said 'an entire episode whould never revolve around a single celebrity'... maybe not but I hardly think the above mentioned script is epsidoe length.
Anyway whoever wrote that it was good. Although it sounds a bit too nasty to b Simpsons.
------------------------------
"The Earth is but one country and mankind it's citizens"
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Reply #6 posted 06/12/03 6:40pm

suomynona

this airs again next week...
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Forums > Prince: Music and More > Prince guest stars on The Simpsons?