Came across this site by accident. This guy gives hiliarious, intelligent and HONEST reviews of Prince's major albums. Aside from the poor reviews given Parade and Lovesexy, he's generally spot on especially when it comes to Prince's weaker material and the public's perception of him. It contains some gems like,

"That's right, only males listen to Prince"

On Dirty Mind - "The album is, get this, half an hour long, or, in 1996 terms, 1/6 the size of Emancipation"

Lovesexy - "I would say that this album cover was a total success if it didn't contain Prince's bare-ass naked body smack-dab in the middle of the frame"

Read it for yourselves,

http://www.geocities.com/...rince.html

WHOA!

THE BLACK ALBUM (1987)
(reviewed by Rich Bunnell)


I was going to ignore this album, since I forgot that someone had sent it to me as part of a massive trade that provided me with most of the Prince that I own (what, you think I went out and bought Come? It costs four whole dollars!!), but then I suddenly remembered that I owned it and tossed it into Ye Olde CD Player. MISTAKE. My opinion of Prince's career as a whole instantaneously decreased a few points, lost to the void and never to be recovered again. This is the album that was infamously withheld from release mere days before it was supposed to go on shelves and not actually officially put in stores until 1994, and some might tell you that this is because it was too lyrically and musically controversial for the times, but the real reason is that Prince looked into the future (because he has superhuman powers like that, since he's a godly being on a celestial plane above mere humans, as he loves to remind us), looked at the kind of musically empty, beat-heavy crap he was going to be releasing in the mid-'90s, and decided that he couldn't release an album like this during a time when he was still making music that at least somewhat resembled what most of those silly humans (who are concerned with concepts like "quality") like to call "creative."

Holy frijole, this album sucks. I tossed it in at least expecting to have a fun time, but much to my gaping dismay I discovered that almost every single song is a cold, unwelcoming, melody-minimal bore that goes on for like sixty billion years and doesn't contain one remotely interesting musical element. Maybe it was a way (as the title suggests) for Prince to get back to his "black" roots after mucking about in non-black styles like frilly pop and psychedelia, but the last time I checked, most black musicians like P-Funk and Stevie Wonder didn't make it their life's aim to subject their poor defenseless listeners to never-ending aural torture. The sole exception is "When 2 R In Love," actually pretty musically interesting as far as Prince's ballads go, but apparently he realized this and saved it from bootleg hell because it's included on the next (and much better) album. "Bob George" also deserves credit for adding to the pile of "potential Prince insults" that every serious music fan needs by coining the immortal line "that skinny motherfucker with the high voice?" but otherwise, stay far, far away from this crap. There's just too much good music out there in the world (some of which is even by Prince!) to be mucking around with stuff like this.

OVERALL RATING: 3 out of 10
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That's a bit harsh aint it?

the last time I checked, most black musicians like P-Funk and Stevie Wonder didn't make it their life's aim to subject their poor defenseless listeners to never-ending aural torture

Christ, he cant' have heard much P-Funk, some of their stuff goes on for days and they sure had to off their faces on LSD to keep entertained for the lengh of some tracks.

His reviews are, for the most part, dead on.

I LOVE the Black Album, but I have to agree with what he said about it.

Well - he DID say NOW and Billyjack Bitch were bad, and I think they're the best on THAT record, but hey, other than that, his reviews are funny and at least relatively accurate.

Remember - he's NOT a Prince fan, he's reviewing these from a distance.

I like his style...

the guy has a healthy sense of humor

I hate reading other peoples reviews, they always hurt ma' feelings...

Oh come on - his review of the LOVESEXY COVER is an amazing excercise in comical restraint. It had my sister in tears before she even GOT to the part about him naked on the flower.