Learn kiddies:

"

For You [Warner Bros., 1978]
Like most in-studio one-man bands, the nineteen-year-old kid who pieced this disco-rock-pop-funk concoction together has a weakness for the programmatic--lots of chops, not much challenge. But I like "Baby," about making one, and "Soft and Wet," ditto only he doesn't know it yet. And his falsetto beats Stevie Wonder's, not to mention Emitt Rhodes's. B-

Prince [Warner Bros., 1979]
This boy is going to be a big star, and he deserves it--he's got a great line. "I want to come inside you" is good enough, but (in a different song) the simple "I'm physically attracted to you" sets news standards of "naive," winning candor. The vulnerable teen-macho falsetto idea is pretty good too. But he does leave something to be desired in the depth-of-feeling department--you know, soul. B+

Dirty Mind [Warner Bros., 1980]
After going gold in 1979 as an utterly uncrossedover falsetto love man, he takes care of the songwriting, transmutes the persona, revs up the guitar, muscles into the vocals, leans down hard on a rock-steady, funk-tinged four-four, and conceptualizes--about sex, mostly. Thus he becomes the first commercially viable artist in a decade to claim the visionary high ground of Lennon and Dylan and Hendrix (and Jim Morrison), whose rebel turf has been ceded to such marginal heroes-by-fiat as Patti Smith and John Rotten-Lydon. Brashly lubricious where the typical love man plays the lead in "He's So Shy," he specializes here in full-fledged fuckbook fantasies--the kid sleeps with his sister and digs it, sleeps with his girlfriend's boyfriend and doesn't, stops a wedding by gamahuching the bride on her way to church. Mick Jagger should fold up his penis and go home. A

Controversy [Warner Bros., 1981]
Maybe Dirty Mind wasn't a tour de force after all; maybe it was dumb luck. The socially conscious songs are catchy enough, but they spring from the mind of a rather confused young fellow, and while his politics get better when he sticks to his favorite subject, which is s-e-x, nothing here is as far-out and on-the-money as "Head" or "Sister" or the magnificent "When You Were Mine." In fact, for a while I thought the best new song was "Jack U Off," an utter throwaway. But that was before the confused young fellow climbed onto the sofa with me and my sweetie during "Do Me, Baby." A-

Prince and the Revolution: Parade [Paisley Park, 1986]
Musically, this anything but retro fusion of Fresh's foundation and Sgt. Pepper's filigrees is nothing short of amazing. Only the tin-eared will overlook the unkiltered wit of its pop-baroque inventions, only the lead-assed deny its lean, quirky grooves, both of which are so arresting that at first you don't take in the equally spectacular assurance with which the singer skips from mood to mood and register to register. I just wish the thing weren't such a damn kaleidoscope: far from unifying its multifarious parts, its soundtrack function destroys what little chance the lyrics have of bringing it together. Christopher is Prince, I guess, but nothing here tempts me to make sure. I'd much rather find out whether the former Rogers Nelson really takes all this trouble just so he can die and/or make love underneath whatever kind of moon, or if he has something less banal in mind. A-

The Black Album [(unlabeled), 1988]
Uncle Jam's sonic wallop and communal craziness are the project's obvious starting point, though Prince will never be as funny. Even better, they're also its finish line. Except for "When 2 R in Love," easily the lamest thing on two otherwise distinct records, the bassy murk never lets up, and at its weirdest--an unpleasant impersonation of a dumbfuck B-boy that's no lost masterpiece and far more arresting than anything on the official product--it's as dark as "Cosmic Slop." With retail sources drying up (I have a fourth-generation dub from a relatively inside source myself), those who pine for heavy funk should nag their local dealers. This is capitalism, so supply'll meet demand, right? A-

Lovesexy [Paisley Park, 1988]
He's a talented little guy, and this has plenty of pizzazz. But I'll take The Black Album's fat-bottomed whomp over its attention-grabbing beats and halfway decent tunes any day, and despite appearances it sure ain't where he explains why sexiness is next to godliness--lyrically it's sloppy if not pseudo if not stupid. This is doubly bothersome because added religious content is what it's supposed to have over its not terribly shocking alternative. Leading one to the obvious conclusion that the real reason the little guy made the switch was that he was scared to reveal how, shall we say, unpop he could be. B+

Graffiti Bridge [Paisley Park, 1990]
On his third studio double in a decade, he's definitely cheating. Half the music isn't really his, and the other half is overly subtle if not rehashed or just weak: title track, generational anthem, and lead single all reprise familiar themes, and the ballads fall short of the exquisite vocalese that can make his slow ones sing. But some of the subtle stuff--"Tick, Tick Bang"'s PE-style electrobeats, say--is pretty out, most of the received stuff is pretty surefire, and from unknowns to old pros, his cameos earn their billings. Also, there's half a great Time album here--did he steal it or just conceive it? B+

Prince and the New Power Generation: Diamonds and Pearls [Paisley Park, 1991]
doesn't know his own new power ("Willing and Able," "Jughead," "Cream") **

Prince and the New Power Generation: [File Under Prince] [Paisley Park, 1992]
Designed to prove his utter inexhaustibility in the wake of Diamonds and Pearls, by some stroke of commerce his best-selling album since Purple Rain, this absurdly designated "rock soap opera" (is he serious? is he ever? is he ever not?) proves mainly that he's got the funk. I confess I'm too square to regale the guests at my all-ages dance party with "Sexy M.F.," a title extended to six syllables in its recorded version. But "My Name Is Prince" clears up a question posed by the title, a rune available on floppy disc to any publication willing to take his guff. And "Blue Light," a ballad that's got the reggae, is a sexy motherfucker. A- Take that Emma G. lol

Chaos and Disorder [Warner Bros., 1996]
Always a slippery devil, he's damn near vaporized commercially over the past few years, as has his promotional budget, basically because he's reached that certain age--way too familiar for ye olde shock of the new, way too boyish for intimations of immortality. So it's understandable that what's sworn to be "the last original material recorded by [File Under Prince] 4 warner brothers records" has been ignored all around. But anybody expecting a kissoff or a throwaway radically underestimates his irrepressible musicality. Apropos of nothing, here's a guitar album for your earhole, enhanced by a fresh if not shocking array of voices and trick sounds and cluttered now and then by horns. Theme song: "I Rock, Therefore I Am." And right, WEA, it wouldn't have been a hit even with some muscle behind it. A-

eat that lolol

Emancipation [NPG, 1996]
Writing the book for the young turks of a reborn, historically hip r&b--three disks and hours of liberation, hubris, divine superfluity, and proof that he can come all night even if by six in the morning it takes too long and he never actually gets hard. Yet although there's not a bad track in the 36, I bet he himself would have trouble remembering them all, and hear nothing that tops the Delfonics and Stylistics covers, which latter wasn't the debut single for nothing and flopped anyway. Great grooves abound, however. As does great singing. Harmonies too. Did I mention that the horns are surprisingly cool? And hey, the little guy has a sense of humor. A-

The Gold Experience [Warner Bros./NPG, 1995]
After two or three plays, convinced that "P Control" and "Endorphinmachine" slam harder than any hip hop I've heard in years, I shrugged and recalled that, after all, I already knew he was the most gifted recording artist of the era. But this album documents more than professional genius rampant--all of them do that. This album is a renewal. It's as sex-obsessed as ever, only with more juice--"Shhh" and "319" especially pack the kind of porno jolt sexy music rarely gets near and hard music never does. And you'd best believe "Shhh" and 319" are hard--not for years has the auteur (as opposed to some hired gat) sounded so black, and not for years has the guitarist sounded so rock. As for the ballads, they suffer only by their failure to dominate. One of them has already stormed the radio--and another, good for him, takes too many risks to follow. A

He gave Gold a better review than Purple Rain and 1999.

But why did you skip so many albums?

For more reading:

https://www.robertchristg...hp?id=1095

Like all music critics he gets things wrong. So he gives some glowing reviews but some P albums are better than that. And he completely underrates Todd Rundgren and Frank Zappa - always red flags for me

And his Batman review, which is not listed under "Prince": https://www.robertchristg...hp?id=4369

Regarding his "For You" review, neither Stevie Wonder nor Emmitt Rhodes sing in a falsetto. I stopped reading after that. I dislike it when music writers try to use musical and technical terms without knowing what they mean. This guy is really bad in that way.

rockford said:

Nobody cared about Christgau back then so why should anyone now?
The guy is to far up his own ass and thinks he's some great musicologist but if you read his 'reviews' or comentary on albums it's clear this guy is just some random consumer with a uneducated opinion.

JorisE73 said:

Nobody cared about Christgau back then so why should anyone now?
The guy is to far up his own ass and thinks he's some great musicologist but if you read his 'reviews' or comentary on albums it's clear this guy is just some random consumer with a uneducated opinion.

.

It's fine not to like him.

.

But "nobody cared"? C'mon, if that was even close to being true we wouldn't be talking about him.

.

I LOVE his writing style. Even when I don't agree with his opinions, which is frequent.

Why'd you have to compare every album to some sound you think you heard on somebody else's album?

I mean, I do it all the time but I tell whoever I do that to that is what I am hearing in the song and that I still love the music.

I mean, do you really think that people are like "yep easy listening is my groove, so I'm buying up as many 12 for a penny cd's a I can"? no?

That's for kids who read their parents' magazines.

Alright - I will go back and read the reviews more thoroughly and more objectively a little bit later.

Funny how I can't say what writer you write in the style of but since you made a list I guess I'll say blue eyed soul brothers Hall and Oates? Are they or were they ever journalists? If so than that is the style of writing in your post.

And yes I know writing is a form of musicianship before anybody gets offended that I said something negative better behold something else or get a subway sandwich someplace. I don't know.

peace

I write in the style of BOLD TYPE

rockford said:

Please keep in mind these reviews are extremely brief because they are part of a "Consumer's Guide" that has over 3000 reviews in it.

rockford said:

Regarding his "For You" review, neither Stevie Wonder nor Emmitt Rhodes sing in a falsetto. I stopped reading after that. I dislike it when music writers try to use musical and technical terms without knowing what they mean. This guy is really bad in that way.

You stopped after 3 sentences and made a complete judgment on this writer's entire ouput? Christgau is known for his dry sense of humor. He knows Stevie and Emmitt aren't in falsetto, but they were two high-profile "one-man band" performers of the era. It's meant as a joke.

billymeade said:

rockford said:

Regarding his "For You" review, neither Stevie Wonder nor Emmitt Rhodes sing in a falsetto. I stopped reading after that. I dislike it when music writers try to use musical and technical terms without knowing what they mean. This guy is really bad in that way.

You stopped after 3 sentences and made a complete judgment on this writer's entire ouput? Christgau is known for his dry sense of humor. He knows Stevie and Emmitt aren't in falsetto, but they were two high-profile "one-man band" performers of the era. It's meant as a joke.

I stopped after 3 sentences of what was posted here. I've read a considerable amount of his crappy reviews on various artists and - as far as I know - all of his Prince reviews. Whether I agree with his ultimate judgement of a record or not is irrelevant. He used musical terms incorrectly and what you point out as a joke isn't a joke and wouldn't even make sense as one. Emitt Rhodes was not of that era. Emitt Rhodes was as underground as one could get and his last album even close to that era was in 1973. He resurfaced in 2016, made a record that sold nothing and died. Emitt was never high profile and the closest he got to high profile was 20 years after For You came out. Defending a bad reviewer is a weird flex, but you do you.

rockford said:

rockford said:

billymeade said:

You stopped after 3 sentences and made a complete judgment on this writer's entire ouput? Christgau is known for his dry sense of humor. He knows Stevie and Emmitt aren't in falsetto, but they were two high-profile "one-man band" performers of the era. It's meant as a joke.

I stopped after 3 sentences of what was posted here. I've read a considerable amount of his crappy reviews on various artists and - as far as I know - all of his Prince reviews. Whether I agree with his ultimate judgement of a record or not is irrelevant. He used musical terms incorrectly and what you point out as a joke isn't a joke and wouldn't even make sense as one. Emitt Rhodes was not of that era. Emitt Rhodes was as underground as one could get and his last album even close to that era was in 1973. He resurfaced in 2016, made a record that sold nothing and died. Emitt was never high profile and the closest he got to high profile was 20 years after For You came out. Defending a bad reviewer is a weird flex, but you do you.

I don't think Christgau does himself any favors with a idiosyncratic writing style that reads likes he's speaking more to an audience of one person: Himself. As opposed to ya know, an audience of guest readers. And why namedrop Emitt Rhodes when nobody's ever heard of him. Jokes only work when people understand the context. So Stevie doesn't do falsetto haha. And Rhodes, who knows? Nobody knows. Ask a friend. Go 50-50 and guess whether he attempted falsetto. More haha. Now if he had cited Barry White, the joke would have made sense. Because his voice is DEEP man.

Also freaky's recommendation is funny, because whereas his own writing style is simplistic, overly so, Christgau's is way convoluted, bordering on chaotic. The contrast stark and doesn't make sense. But hey, little in life does. Peace out anyway.

rockford said:

neither Stevie Wonder nor Emmitt Rhodes sing in a falsetto.

He does on Power Flower

Robert Christgau deserves RESPECT! A LEGEND in his field.