My 18-year-old daughter came home from the mall recently with a brand spanking new Puple Rain t-shirt. The only problem is that she does not listen to Prince. She was hesitant to show me the shirt because she knew I would have a problem with it, which I did. I told her that I don't think she should wear the shirt without listening to the FULL album and not just the title track that I forced her to listen to. I told her that I would not let her out of the house if she is wearting the shirt without first listening to the full album. Am I being unreasonable and overbearing? I feel that I am bothered by this more than I should be. Anyone else bothered by stuff like this or is just me?

She's a kid. Let her wear her shirt. It's not that big of a deal.

Having Dad breathe down her neck saying she has to listen to an album is hella (do the kids still say hella?) uncool.

[Edited 8/17/20 14:05pm]

Strive said:

She's a kid. Let her wear her shirt. It's not that big of a deal.

Having Dad breathe down her neck saying she has to listen to an album is hella (do the kids still say hella?) uncool.

[Edited 8/17/20 14:05pm]

Not worried about my kid thinking I'm cool or not (that doesn't usually result in good parenting) but I feel that if you're wearing a Prince t-shirt you should know something about Prince. Otherwise, you're just a poser.

Groovy1 said:

My 18-year-old daughter came home from the mall recently with a brand spanking new Puple Rain t-shirt. The only problem is that she does not listen to Prince. She was hesitant to show me the shirt because she knew I would have a problem with it, which I did. I told her that I don't think she should wear the shirt without listening to the FULL album and not just the title track that I forced her to listen to. I told her that I would not let her out of the house if she is wearting the shirt without first listening to the full album. Am I being unreasonable and overbearing? I feel that I am bothered by this more than I should be. Anyone else bothered by stuff like this or is just me?

Yeah, you're being completely unreasonable, and yes, you're way more bothered by this than you should be. Your daughter doesn't need to pass a test just to wear a goddamn Prince shirt. Quit gatekeeping and be a better parent.

She was drawn to Prince's image and thought the shirt was cool. Then she had to consider what her parent would think about her fashion statement choice and worry she'd get judged by a parent who is a Prince fan and should have been approving of ot as a Prince fan...what's going on here?!

It probably wasn't as dramatic as your post makes it sound but you can't force a record like it's a punishment and live up to her fears about buying a shirt they sell at places like Old Navy... you should have been excited, teased her that Prince was in her blood and she'd come around, and then casually exposed her to it by playing it around the house or in the car. Sharing Prince should be a good memory for her! Don't make it something she has to bring up in therapy one day.

Younger folks buy shirts for bands they've never heard of. I don't get it either, but they're out there in Morrissey and Nirvana shirts, and they don't have any desire to hear the artist. They're not even posing as fans, or worrying someone will think they're a fan. Now to me it means they need something genuine they love and to get more culture in their lives, but to them, it's like wearing a surf company logo when you don't surf. It's like they're wearing a brand.

Seriously though just play Prince around the house. Don't make it a thing. She should associate it it with good times at home. Make a joke of it. When she wears the shirt, turn on Let's Go Crazy and dance around the house shouting "there's my girl, I knew I raised you right".

[Edited 8/17/20 14:46pm]

wow

yeah, the rights of it all, groovy dad dude.

i just gifted my 14 year old an original 'Purple Rain' vinyl, still sealed, from 1984, with poster and she immediately cleared a space on the wall for that poster.

she knows a few tunes, but is still stuck on harry styles and the bunch.

i thought it was fantastic that she asked for more Prince records and can't get enough of 'Sign O The Times' (not that harry song )

Wow, music elitist dad. The horror.

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Mine was deadbeat dad but when he passed one of the few positive memories I looked back on was that although he was a former DJ with an entire room full of records and CDs he never tried to big tyme or belittle my dopey adolescent tastes or lackthereof... he'd actually try to relate and understand where I was coming from musically, without condescending.

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Probably best to support/understand your kids in any and all avenues of life you can versus deriding/castigating them.... They're so likely to rebel and resent their parents anyway why give them additional fodder.....

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But you do you, brosef, if you determine Purple Rain the FULL album is of more paramount importance than relating to what you created, so be it.

[Edited 8/17/20 16:21pm]

Groovy1 said:

Otherwise, you're just a poser.

sigh.

The funny thing is that when Purple Rain as released some parents didn't want the children to listen it, because of the lyrics.

Remember: Because of Purple Rain we have the "Parental Advisory, Explicit Lyrics"-Sticker.

Times are changing.

(Edit: I was guessing you tried to make her listen to PR before she was 18)

My advice:

Tell her she's only qualified to wear that shirt, if she watches Graffiti Bridge.

[Edited 8/18/20 1:27am]

I don't understand this post... your daughter bought a shirt with her own money. It has no obscenity on it (violence and the like), and it even features an artist you like.

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And you are upset and don't want her to wear it?

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There is a complete disconnect for me. I am trying to wrap my head around this. Would you rather she'd wear something you have less of a bond with? Would you rather be less connected to your daughter?

lol, well done. As a parent it is your job to embarrass your kids with ridiculous rules so you're clearly doing it well.

Do you think that all those folks that wear a Che Guevara t-shirt are experts in Argentinian Marxist politics?

Let her wear the shirt, I don't really see the problem here.

Let her wear it. If nothing else, it's a moving billboard that might inspire someone else on the street.

I had a Batman and Superman onesies on my son when he was only months old with no comprehension of who they even were.

You see all those T-shirts at Target/Old Navy/etc. for bands like Nirvana, Ramones, Pink Floyd, The Beatles and now Prince. Doesn't mean that the kids go home and listen to that music.

Yeah I think its a certain personality trait that I sort of share with you.

I know it's not serious but my deep down sentiment is that I don't see the point in wearing a t-shirt of someone you don't listen to, even when we know people do it all the time.

I remember a few years ago on TV the Basketball Wives girls were wearing Nirvana and Guns N Roses t shirts and you know good and damn well they didn't know those bands.

Like someone said let her wear it as a billboard.

Win-win.

Jesus Christ...is this really a post?!? My goodness...

You're being pretty unreasonable, Dad!

Also, odds are she'll listen to it on her own after a conversation or two kicks off about Prince and she feels embarassed not knowing what the heck they're talking about!

Either she'll listen herself or she'll quit wearing the shirt in public. Either way, problem solved!

I guarantee Joy Division sold more t-shirts than they did albums. I've met exactly one millennial who likes that band but I see the t-shirt everywhere. But the art/design is itself a cultural product and who says you can't like/wear the image without knowing the music?

Purple Rain I don't quite get because the cover doesn't appeal to me all that much, but maybe your daughter likes the colors or the retro look or - get this - maybe she's proud of her parent and wants to connect and it's a method for communicating that.

I'd drop the album in their room and let them listen to it on their own time. She'll get around to it when she figures out how to listen to music without the Spotify algorithm's help.

this is the thread that keeps on giving

lustmealways said:

this is the thread that keeps on giving

I know but it has helped me gain more perspective on my reaction to my daughter's purchase. It's not her, of course, it's me. I have always felt a connection to strangers in strange lands if they were wearing a Prince t-shirt. It happens more than you would think. I was in a restaurant in Toronto a few years ago (I'm from the States) and struck up a long conversation with someone wearing a Prince shirt. We started with a discussion of Prince, of course, but then moved on to other topics. I guess I don't want to abandon the assumptions that come along with spotting Prince gear. I realize it's happening and I should just deal with it and move on.

Groovy1 said:

Groovy1 said:

Am I being unreasonable and overbearing?

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Absolutely. Poor girl.

FragileUndertow said:

Hopefully you dont take it too personal Even I thought I was a bit harsh

Yeah I expected some off the wall posts defending them, I'm pretty impressed but I also feel a little bad about the pile on.

Clearly if they're playing naughty Prince songs for their kid, they have a special relationship that didn't come across.

Groovy1 said:

My 18-year-old daughter came home from the mall recently with a brand spanking new Puple Rain t-shirt. The only problem is that she does not listen to Prince. She was hesitant to show me the shirt because she knew I would have a problem with it, which I did. I told her that I don't think she should wear the shirt without listening to the FULL album and not just the title track that I forced her to listen to. I told her that I would not let her out of the house if she is wearting the shirt without first listening to the full album. Am I being unreasonable and overbearing? I feel that I am bothered by this more than I should be. Anyone else bothered by stuff like this or is just me?

I love it! If you're going to represent the man, then you should know at least, what he was about, because he was definitely more than a Purple Rain t-shirt, and a social media trend that's hot for the moment.

Groovy1 said:

My 18-year-old daughter came home from the mall recently with a brand spanking new Puple Rain t-shirt. The only problem is that she does not listen to Prince. She was hesitant to show me the shirt because she knew I would have a problem with it, which I did. I told her that I don't think she should wear the shirt without listening to the FULL album and not just the title track that I forced her to listen to. I told her that I would not let her out of the house if she is wearting the shirt without first listening to the full album. Am I being unreasonable and overbearing? I feel that I am bothered by this more than I should be. Anyone else bothered by stuff like this or is just me?

Not a bit bothered by her but I am by your reaction.

If that had been my daughter, she'd have been *totally* turned off from Prince by being forced to listen to it. Why isn't it playing in the house, in the background, during dinner or something? When you try to force something on people, they will reject it.

jaawwnn said:

lol, well done. As a parent it is your job to embarrass your kids with ridiculous rules so you're clearly doing it well.