purplerabbithole said:

I was thinking about how people take too literally Prince's feeling of abandonment by his mother and assume the worst about her as a person and their relationship.

I feel like defending his mother with some what-ifs...Now, keep in mind I have avoided reading books on the subject, so feel free to correct me if I get some facts wrong.

First--what books have been implying or stating....

My understanding was that Prince's mom and dad divorced when he was nine after mom and dad fought a ton and at least one violent incident happened when John suspected her of adultery. She eventuallly remarried somewhat quickly afterwards to a man who provided economic stability (possibly emotional stability) but seemed strict and more than a bit superficial. It sounds like neither stepdad or mom wanted P to be a musician like his father and tried to put the gabosh on it. Prince grew tired of their strictness when it came to music (and his stepfather's possible abuse) and then ran away from home to live with dad. That didn't work out for reasons I don't entirely understand and P chose to live with family members and finally Andre Cymone's family rather than return to mom and stepdad. The assumption by most is that Mattie didn't attempt to get her son back or make compromises that allowed him to pursue music and still stay at home. She took her husband's side over her son's.

Now, here's my what-if's. What if mom and stepdad's hard anti-music stance might have been because they feared that P would lead the same isolated life his dad did. Maybe they didn't understand Prince's need to express himself through music. (P once stated in an old interview that he used to tell his stepdad everything he was doing wrong as a dad but never thought to tell him what he needed from him as a dad.) What if--Mattie figured Prince would grow out of his music obsession and move back in with his family. What if--Mattie was fearful of losing her second husband by siding with her son because she didn't know if she could provide for her kids as a single mother (especially a single African American mother in the 1960's mostly white Minneapolis). She was in a tough spot. Prince probably realized that but wished she would have been stronger and stood up for him more. Maybe Prince's workaholic ways were the result of trying to prove to mom that his life choice was the right. Maybe, it wasn't just about impressing his dad (and finding a way to connect with his dad) with his musical ability. Maybe it was also about insuring his mom that he made the right choice to pursue music.

This picture of Prince kissing his mom on the cheek. How many more exist that we don't know about. Prince kept his most treasured things a secret (Ahmir). Saying nothing about his mother and implying heartbreak over being abandoned doesn't mean he didn't love her a great deal or that he even resented her as much as Toure stated.....Prince stating in When Doves Cry that mom is never satisfied might just mean she was never satisfied when he was a kid with him being a musician. Maybe she wanted college etc.. or maybe she was unsatisfied with being poor and married to a musician who spent all his time working during the day and performing at night (and thus gravitated toward the second more traditional husband).

Maybe, when Prince says dad was too bold and mom was never satisfied, maybe all he was indicating was what they stated about each other. Father thinks mom is never satisfied because she wants him to be at home more and providng better for the family. Mother thinks father is too bold for thinking he can become a famous musician. I wonder how many other families struggle when the patriarch has ambitions like that.

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It could not have been easy being single and raising two children. I believe I read that she at one time worked two jobs; so I definitely can understand the concern for economic stability. Parents do the best that they have, with the skills and knowledge that they have at the time. I have to put the Toure book on my reading list.

Except I was refuting those notions with nuance. The facts are that she gave him the erotic literature, she married a man he disliked, she let him run away. those things are factual. The Reelz channel spun those facts to make her look especially bad. I was stating that that wasn't fair.

rdhull said:

purplerabbithole said:

Its not like we are dissing his mother. The Reelz channel has her depicted as a thoughless, sex obsessed absentee mother.

and we dont need any of that crap here

purplerabbithole said:

purplerabbithole said:

purplerabbithole said:

Its not like we are dissing his mother. The Reelz channel has her depicted as a thoughless, sex obsessed absentee mother. All I said was maybe she was a human being with struggles. To understand Prince and his artistry, isn't it important to understand where he came from, how parents influenced him, what he understood about his own parents etc. People are always trying to understand celebrities by understanding their parents. Unfortunately, Prince did one thing very selfish. He became famous..meaning that every person who helped make him who he was will be examined as well. But bear in mind if those people drove him into obsession over his work and created a whole in him that he was very much inclined to fill, they kind of reap what they sow.

laurarichardson said:

Asenath0607 said: --Talking about someone's mom is jumping deep in the cesspool and no one who does it would do this in the street or they would get a beating.

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Prince was selfish because he became famous? I'm not sure I understand your rationale here.

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Prince had a god-given talent. What if he threw it all away and sold drugs on the street of Minneapolis instead? That would be a total waste of his god-given talent. Just using that as an example.

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Prince was born to be a star.

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Yes, everyone who was ever associated with Prince will be put under a microscope, but I'm sure they knew that from the beginning, considering his level of success.

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I'm not sure I understand your comment: "But bear in mind if those people drove him into obsession over his work and created a whole in him that he was very much inclined to fill, they kind of reap what they sow."

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Drove him into obsession?

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I'm just trying to understand what you meant by that. Thanks!

Like I said earlier, Prince's parents did the best they could with what they had. They weren't perfect, but that does not make them bad people. Things were different in those days. Mattie and John's marriage fell apart and they both went on and remarried and had other children.

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Again, some people are not well-equipped to raise children, but that does not make them bad people. I think Prince loved and respected both his mother and father. His parents were supportive in his career and Prince took care of his family when he became successful. Tyka and Prince had their problems, but they turned out to be really good people, in spite of their rocky childhood and family issues.

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I have a lot of respect for Prince because he made something out of his life. He had a God-given talent and we were so blessed that he was able to share it with the world.

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A part of me feels incredibly sad for Tyka. Think about being in her shoes right now; I mean, she lost her only full-blooded brother, Prince and both her parents are gone. I know people have been dissin' on her, but I like to give her the benefit of the doubt. She's not perfect either. None of us are. Sure, Tyka is going to inherit millions when the estate is settled, but no amount of money in this entire world is going to bring her brother, Prince back!! I don't care how much money is involved, it's not going to change that fact.

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Money doesn't mean shit when your loved one's are gone. Was it all worth it, in the end. All this fussin' and fighting? Just my 2 cents.