But, where would've he been without Andre and Andre's family? They helped him out tremendously. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
That question misses the point I tried to make.
Yes, they were a great asset to him, many in his past were. And I'm sure he knew that, but trying to look into P's head a bit, I think that was all great and well and good and appreciated which is why I think he wanted everyone to stfu/follow his lead so he could show his appreciation by what he might've seen as "rescuing them" by "making them successful".
He thought he knew better than they did how to get it done. When you feel you know better and folks don't simply "let you get it done" you can feel as if they don't trust your skill/judgement. Frankly, if you think you know the best way to get something done, anyone who tries to do things another way pisses you off. And if their way does work out, it feels like a betrayal.
That doesn't mean that folks who think they know better should take over and ignore other folks' desire to try things their own way, of course. But it can be maddening to be someone who "knows" a better way and watch folks who'd rather fail than follow your way.
It's almost like ya wanna tie them up, gag them, do it your way then hand them the success to enjoy.
It hurts to watch folks eff up when you feel as if your way would've been better.
[Edited 5/15/17 10:53am] | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
YES! Alex does not exaggerate. Hours and hours spent on this chapter, and it could not have been more fun. As exasperating as P.'s lack of any sort of reliable public statements can be to a writer, Alex and I had a ridiculous amount of fun going back and forth, piecing things together. Side note: Paul Natkin, whose photos are in our book, was at the Chicago shows where P. opened for Rick James, and described it along these lines: All the other photographers cleared out to the bar to get a beer, but at that point in Paul's career, he'd learned to always photograph the opening act, as they might become famous one day. Out comes this little guy wearing women's underwear and playing great guitar. Paul said that P. had star power even then, and "a showbiz aura that couldn't be stopped."
| |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I get this completely. I think from the beginning, P. knew what he was - a rock star. And remember, creative geniuses are not always nice guys. Think Steve Jobs, Frank Lloyd Wright. Not nice guys to be around, but they accomplished amazing things in their fields | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Honestly, in the moment I don't think he felt as if he was being mean or rude or a douche. WE can see it now, after the fact and I'm sure he probably could see it that way muuuuuch later...and of course, the folks immediately involved must've been ready to strangle him, but...
I think he was so driven in the moment that all he could see was getting it done and anything/anyone in the path to getting it done was an obstacle to be removed so he could get on with things. Plus, he wasn't asking more out of anyone else than what he was already giving so their human complaining read as weak/whining/ungrateful complaining.
Of course when folks get treated that way, they rebel and their feelings get hurt, but I think that collateral damage was simply a byproduct, not his goal. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Yes, exactly. It's that single-minded focus that wound up creating collateral damage. From other folks' POV, it could be pretty brutal. I tend to be just the opposite, highly empathetic (to a fault), so this behavior was hard to stomach!! [Edited 5/15/17 15:26pm] | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Well, let's skip ahead just a tad, since we are talking about Prince & Andre's relationship. . "Do Me Baby".... it is said that this was Andre's song. He wrote it on a paper bag and left it in his room. Prince and he worked on it, and even did a demo together. Prince took it as his own, never giving Andre credit, just like on the song "Uptown". . I would think that Prince and Andre were pretty good friends, if not best friends. So again, how could Prince do this to Andre, when Andre and his family did so much for Prince? . Now I understand that Andre can't ride on Prince's coat tails forever but dang that's pretty dirty that Prince could do something like that to him. Don't you think? | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I was shocked to read this about 'Do Me Baby.' And it wouldn't be the first time Prince took songwriting credit, to varying degrees. Andre seemed to take it in stride, despite everything. LBrent, your hypothesis about Prince's behavior makes sense to me, given Prince's narcissistic tendencies, even though it is hard to comprehend his ruthless actions at times. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
LauraTiebert said:
YES! Alex does not exaggerate. Hours and hours spent on this chapter, and it could not have been more fun. As exasperating as P.'s lack of any sort of reliable public statements can be to a writer, Alex and I had a ridiculous amount of fun going back and forth, piecing things together. Side note: Paul Natkin, whose photos are in our book, was at the Chicago shows where P. opened for Rick James, and described it along these lines: All the other photographers cleared out to the bar to get a beer, but at that point in Paul's career, he'd learned to always photograph the opening act, as they might become famous one day. Out comes this little guy wearing women's underwear and playing great guitar. Paul said that P. had star power even then, and "a showbiz aura that couldn't be stopped."
I enjoy reading these behind-the-scenes anecdotes! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Some of Prince's contradictory behavior has been hard to piece together as a coherent whole. At times kind behind the scenes and other times ruthless. What is missing from these accounts is Prince's perspective, leaving one to hypothesize about what exactly happened and why. I do not intend to diagnose Prince here but do want to point out a few things that may contribute to how complicated he was, as illustrated by his relationships with Andre and others described in this book and elsewhere. He seemed to use narcissistic defenses (exploitative of others when it served his musical purpose and at times demeaning to others who he perceived as possible threats such as Andre). Nonetheless, unlike persons with Narcissistic Personalty Disorder, he seemed to be in touch with feelings of abandonment and profound loneliness(at their extreme often linked to Borderline Personality Disorder). I am not implying that Prince had either disorder, but instead that his traits were at odds with each other and possibly led to very different types of behavior. In other words, he seemed to need to act as if he was superior to others (not just musically) yet craved connection that his fears of abandonment and/or his arrogance made it difficult for him to achieve. It is hard to know if his being so dismissive of Andre was solely due to exploitation and/or his tendency to abandon all those with whom he might become potentially close before they abandon him (musically and/or personally). [Edited 5/15/17 19:00pm] | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
gandorb said:
Some of Prince's contradictory behavior has been hard to piece together as a coherent whole. At times kind behind the scenes and other times ruthless. What is missing from these accounts is Prince's perspective, leaving one to hypothesize about what exactly happened and why. I do not intend to diagnose Prince here but do want to point out a few things that may contribute to how complicated he was, as illustrated by his relationships with Andre and others described in this book and elsewhere. He seemed to use narcissistic defenses (exploitative of others when it served his musical purpose and at times demeaning to others who he perceived as possible threats such as Andre). Nonetheless, unlike persons with Narcissistic Personalty Disorder, he seemed to be in touch with feelings of abandonment and profound loneliness(at their extreme often linked to Borderline Personality Disorder). I am not implying that Prince had either disorder, but instead that his traits were at odds with each other and possibly led to very different types of behavior. In other words, he seemed to need to act as if he was superior to others (not just musically) yet craved connection that his fears of abandonment and/or his arrogance made it difficult for him to achieve. It is hard to know if his being so dismissive of Andre was solely due to exploitation and/or his tendency to abandon all those with whom he might become potentially close before they abandon him (musically and/or personally). [Edited 5/15/17 19:00pm] This sums it up for me. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I agree he did approach/avoid and that can be a very confusing message for the folks who are the target of these behaviours, but I think that as he was doing these things HE wasn't always (probably rarely) in touch with what the other person was experiencing as a result of his behaviour.
I see folks comment on P's behaviour in a way that leads me to feel that they think the OUTCOME of P's treatment of other people was premeditated to be callous. I don't think so.
I think he deliberately many times acted in a callous way, but I don't think he mostly cnsidered that his actions would hurt the other person. I think he did things to deliberately protect/benefit himself, not taking other people's feelings into consideration.
I think P would've wanted the folks in his life to be completely compliant and follow his directions/ideas and not challenge him except for in ways he found acceptable, stop arguing when he was done arguing, be talented but not too talented as to show him up, motivated but not to the point of independant thinking...basically flesh covered ROBOTS with the capability to love him, accompany him, protect him, but that's unrealistic of course.
Yet, I also think folks who were too compliant...the fantasy wasn't as appealing as the reality so he was never truly satisfied.
Don't forget P gave Andre the song Dance Electric...then remade it himself...Typical P move. Wanting to be generous, but then deciding he could do it better himself. [sigh]
Complicated to say the least.
[Edited 5/15/17 19:43pm] | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I agree with you about his lack of awareness, as well as your comments earlier. The whole notion of defense is that it is an automatic way a person deals with stress that they are often unaware of. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I agree with that in bold. But I would also think that Andre of all people who had been with him thru thick and thin, would've been different. . Does anybody know if Prince reached out to Andre in his final months? I know people have said he was reaching out to several to make amends. I wonder if Andre was one of them? Even to this day, I don't think Andre has said anything too negative towards Prince, has he? | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Exactly! | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Who wants to summarize chapter 13? | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I am going to be especially busy the next 36 hours so chapter 13 isn't a good match for me, but I'll commit to chapter 14 if that's okay? | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Perfect. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
PennyPurple said: Well, let's skip ahead just a tad, since we are talking about Prince & Andre's relationship. . "Do Me Baby".... it is said that this was Andre's song. He wrote it on a paper bag and left it in his room. Prince and he worked on it, and even did a demo together. Prince took it as his own, never giving Andre credit, just like on the song "Uptown". . I would think that Prince and Andre were pretty good friends, if not best friends. So again, how could Prince do this to Andre, when Andre and his family did so much for Prince? . Now I understand that Andre can't ride on Prince's coat tails forever but dang that's pretty dirty that Prince could do something like that to him. Don't you think? I think Andre has been unbelievably gracious and diplomatic in his comments in interviews. I think Prince considered Andre a threat because, to be honest, Andre was tall and incredibly handsome. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Yes, he has been very respectful. . Prince was just as handsome and sexy, if not more so than Andre. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I would also agree with most of what you've said in regards to him "knowing" where he was going and either people could come along or not. That was their choice. In an interview with Mojo in the 80's, he states "My way is usually the best way" in regards to his own work. He was headstrong from the beginning because he had a vision and it was HIS music, so he knew what he wanted to do. I think he really tried to benefit everyone around them but their egos got in the way and that's understandable. As much as he wanted autonomy, they did as well. God is my Sugar Daddy. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Alex, I'm still leaning toward Vanity being part of Rick's groupies. There is something with the Toronto connection and then the LA timeline that just leads me to believe that P met her through Rick. Did you get any confirmation or leads in that direction? (In her obit, they posted that she met him in 1980 AMAs, which differs from what's out there as well.) God is my Sugar Daddy. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Vanity said herself on one those late night talk shows that she met P backstage at an awards show, but who knows?
I only remember seeing her around in photoshoots etc with P in 1980/81, but I don't remember seeing her earlier. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Yes, they'd been in touch for a while before April.
Right after that, he says, "I want you to meet my band." So I wind up meeting the band. He tells everybody, "Hey, this is my first bass player." I’m like, "Yeah and this is my first guitar player" [laughs]. Anyway, that was the last time I saw him perform. It wasn’t that long ago. Maybe not last year but maybe the year before? I think that’s the last time I actually saw him. We had a great time. We drank a bottle of Cristal and he introduced me to all the people around. We hung out for awhile.
http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/magazine-feature/7348518/prince-childhood-friend-bassist-andre-cymone-remembrance God is my Sugar Daddy. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
There really would have been no reason for her to be seen earlier especially if P had plans for a girl group. He'd have wanted to keep her under wraps until she was introduced as Vanity. I know initially she said in one of the early interviews that she approached him with some lyrics she'd written and he said he knew some other people who "thought like her" and hooked her up with the group. But later we find out that he did all the writing and music. This one is hard to unravel because both of them kept most of it private but there are conflicting interviews and reports even at the time. I was thinking Jill would know a bit more since she met him on the Rick tour but you know P kept the women separate (Jill didn't know about Sheila E at the time). God is my Sugar Daddy. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Lawd knows baby boy was a juggling artist.
I can't sometimes with him...
| |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Chapter 13 Ragged Edges Pgs. 155-165
Dirty Mind hit stores. It didn't do well with the radio stations possibly because WB put a label on the demos that said, "please audition before airing". It didn't do well on the charts. . WB decided to do a tour in mid size clubs. . Howard Bloom was hired as a publicist. . Teena Marie was the opening act. . Crowds remained small and WB cut the tour back. . Prince started working on Do Me Baby, which was Andre's song that he wrote. Andre was already smarting from Prince's failure to credit Andre on Uptown. Andre arrived late to rehearsal, and walked in on the band performing Do Me Baby. When asked why Prince was doing this, Prince replied, "Because I'm a star and you are not" That was the breaking point, Andre told Prince he was going solo. . Prince appealed to Andre's mom, Bernadette Anderson, to delay his departure. Andre agreed but asked Prince for a raise. Of course Prince said no, Andre had, had it and told Prince not to worry about it, he would do it for free. . Prince had already began looking for a replacement for Andre several months before this happened. Mark Brown was hired for Andre's spot. . Went on Saturday Night Live, interviewed with Rolling Stone, shows started selling out. . Jill Jones entered the picture. . Dez had experience a life changing epiphany and became a born again Christian.
| |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
To his credit, I think he didn't lead anyone on. They may have felt that he was exclusive with them, but they've all come out and said, sooner or later, they knew about the others. They either chose to stay or go. God is my Sugar Daddy. | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Sometimes when looking at a situation from the outside it seems simple, but being actually in the situation feels differently.
I think we can all agree that P was captivating and could be charming. That affects different people in different ways.
| |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
PennyPurple said: Well, let's skip ahead just a tad, since we are talking about Prince & Andre's relationship. . "Do Me Baby".... it is said that this was Andre's song. He wrote it on a paper bag and left it in his room. Prince and he worked on it, and even did a demo together. Prince took it as his own, never giving Andre credit, just like on the song "Uptown". . I would think that Prince and Andre were pretty good friends, if not best friends. So again, how could Prince do this to Andre, when Andre and his family did so much for Prince? . Now I understand that Andre can't ride on Prince's coat tails forever but dang that's pretty dirty that Prince could do something like that to him. Don't you think? --Do Me Baby is this song "Frantic Moment" https://m.youtube.com/wat...j41zcmRfPg | |
- E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |